


Lonely Heroes

by JadeMoon



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Smut, Gen, Paparazzi, Romantic Friendship, Smut, This is a trashfire, coma induced dream, not finished
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-09 22:01:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 108,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17413544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadeMoon/pseuds/JadeMoon
Summary: This will have to be in parts due to word limit constrictions. There will be no chapter separation this time. This work may still be removed. It is not finished.





	1. Chapter 1

“Whoa, doll. Watch your step.”

Shaye looks up at the man pulling her back onto the curb just as a taxi zips past.

“Holy...Thanks,” Shaye finally manages to say. He grins and she blushes. She can feel the heat on her cheeks. He’s got these magnificent blue eyes that offset the ruggedness of his looks and his chiseled jawline.

“Gotta watch yourself, doll,” he says gently. “Traffic doesn’t stop for anyone. Not even pretty girls who look lost.”

Now Shaye is really blushing. He seems to enjoy the reaction and smiles that much more.

“Thank you again,” she says.

“No problem, doll. Just promise me you’ll be more careful.”

“Absolutely,” she promises with a smile. He laughs a little.

“Where are you headed?”

“I’m trying to get to Ellis Island, but I left my phone at the hotel and this map sucks,” she tells him. He grins and chuckles a bit. He’s got her mesmerized with that smile and those eyes.

“Ellis Island, huh?” he asks. He’s trying to see the map. She hands it to him and he looks it over briefly.

“This map is a clusterfuck, doll. No wonder you’re lost.”

“That’s what I said!” she agrees wholeheartedly.  

“I can give you directions to Ellis Island, that won’t be a problem.”

“You, Sir, are a godsend,” she tells him. This time he blushes, but only slightly.

“Nah. Just happened to be in the right place at the right time, that’s all.”

 

 

A crowd has developed at the curb where they stand waiting for their turn to cross the street. Shaye and Mr. Blue Eyes get jostled about by the crowd. He takes her gently by the arm and leads her away from the crowd and the noise of the traffic.

“See the subway tunnel over there?” he asks, pointing down the street a little ways. She nods her head yes.

“I see it.”

“Take that to Grand, you’ll see the signs for the ferry to Staten Island. Head that direction.”

“Thank you,” she says genuinely grateful to him.

“My pleasure, doll.”

“I was going to grab a bite to eat before I headed over there. I’d like to buy you lunch...you know, for saving my life,” she says being brazen. The smile on his face changes to a half grin and Shaye feels foolish suddenly.

“Thanks, doll, but I’m supposed to be meeting a friend. I appreciate the offer, though.”

She gives him an embarrassed smile and looks down at her map. She can feel him looking at her still and that isn’t helping any.

“Nona’s is just down the street,” he says after a moment. “Great home cooked food.”

She looks up and he’s pointing in the direction of the restaurant.

“Thanks. Again,” she says giving him a quick smile. He grins a bit more and walks off. Shaye feels like an absolute ass. A guy that good looking in New York definitely has a friend he has to meet. Probably several. All of them probably look like models.

She heads in the direction he pointed for this place called Nona’s.

 

Chapter

Shaye finds the place Mr. Blue Eyes suggested. She goes inside and waits to be seated. She’s still kicking herself for asking him to lunch. Oh well, at least he gave her directions to get to Ellis Island, and this place, Nona’s, smells amazing.

She finally gets seated, the waitress drops a menu in front of her and walks away.

“Nice,” she mutters as she opens the menu to take a look.

“Mind if we join you?”

Shaye looks up from her menu and sees Mr. Blue Eyes, and he brought his friend, a guy in a ball cap with baby blue eyes. Well, that explains the friend thing and why Mr. Blue Eyes was so nice and congenial.

“Sure,” Shaye says with a slight smile. “I still owe you for saving my life.”

“Thanks, doll. This place is packed,” he says as he and Mr. Ballcap take their seats across from her.

“Thank you,” Mr. Ballcap says softly.

“No problem.”

The waitress comes back and drops more menus off. She doesn’t say a word to any of them.

“She seems nice,” Shaye grumbles. Both of the boys are grinning.

“The food is good. The service...not so much,” Mr. Ballcap says.

“The burgers are really good,” Mr. Blue Eyes adds.

Shaye nods in acknowledgement. The two men are content to browse the menu, neither of them saying anything. They seem comfortable with the silence, whereas she is not. She focuses on her menu and trying to decide what sounds good versus what won’t make her look like a backwater hog.

“I never caught your name,” Mr. Ballcap says after several minutes. Shaye looks up from her menu and both men are looking at her. Mr. Blue Eyes has that grin on his face and Mr. Ballcap has only a hint of a smile. He’s trying to be personable it seems.

“I never threw it,” Shaye responds with a little smirk. Mr. Blue Eyes grins more and shakes his head.

“Clever,” Mr. Ballcap remarks, but she can see he’s smiling a bit more, too. He waves at the waitress in an attempt to get her to come over to their table.

“Yes?” the waitress asks in a tone that implies Mr. Ballcap is on her last nerve already.

“We’d like to order some drinks and get some silverware, please,” Mr. Ballcap says sternly. He doesn’t seem like he’s in the mood for the waitress and her shitty attitude much less anything else. She wonders if Mr. Ballcap and Mr. Blue Eyes had a spat and this was Mr. Blue Eyes’ half-assed attempt at moving them past the quarrel. Now she’s really uncomfortable. Dealing with people isn’t her strong suite to begin with, dealing with strangers is something she avoids at all costs and now here she is with two strange men who seem to be having a lover’s tiff. Lovely.

“What do you want?” the waitress asks haughtily. Shaye puckers her lips. She’s dying to tell the waitress to pull her head out of her ass and go eat a Xanax, but she refrains.

“Scotch,” Mr. Ballcap says, ignoring the waitress’ rudeness.

“Jack and Coke,” Mr. Blue Eyes says. They both look at her.

“Uh…,” Shaye says flipping hurriedly through the menu for the drinks. Mr. Blue Eyes flips the menu to the correct page while the waitress taps her pen impatiently.

“Give her a second,” Mr. Blue Eyes states in a cold tone. The waitress flinches as does Shaye. Neither of these guys seem too keen on taking anyone’s shit today.

“An Amaretto sour, please,” Shaye says hastily. She’s not even sure they have it, it’s not something she saw in her rapid glance of the drinks on the menu, but it’s all she could think of to order.

“Yup,” the waitress snips and walks off again. Shaye wonders if this is what happens when you let the city corrupt your soul. She shudders a bit.

“Cold, doll?” Mr. Ballcap asks. Same generic pet name as Mr. Blue Eyes. Could be worse, she thinks. He could call her bitch or hoe or some other derogatory name.

“No, sir.”

“Sir?” he repeats sounding slightly offended. Mr. Blue Eyes is smirking a little.

“Dude?”

Now Mr. Blue Eyes is laughing.

“Steve?” Mr. Ballcap asks.

“Me? No. My name isn’t Steve.”

Mr. Blue Eyes is all but rocking with laughter now which earns him a scathing look from Mr. Ballcap that has no effect.

“Shaye,” she says because she feels like she is now obligated to tell them her name.

“It’s a pleasure,” Steve says reaching his hand across the table to her. She takes it gingerly, and lets him shake her hand.

“Bucky,” Mr. Blue Eyes says, extending his hand now. His hands are both gloved she notices. Steve’s are not. She takes his hand the same as she took Steve’s and they shake.

The waitress comes back with their drinks, puts them down and walks off again.

“Dude, what the hell?” Shaye demands. “Who pissed in her Cheerios?”

“She’s always like this,” Steve says looking over at the waitress briefly.

“She’s exceptionally so today,” Bucky grumbles. “Marv needs to put his foot in her ass.”

“He may lose a shoe,” Shaye mumbles and then bites her lip. Her pension for saying shit without thinking about it tends to get her into trouble. This may be one of those times it does. Both Steve and Bucky are chuckling.

“You’ve got some sass, Shaye,” Bucky says with a big smile. She feels the heat on her cheeks and goes back to looking at the menu, determined to have something picked out should the waitress from Hell ever come back.

“Did I hear you say Buck saved your life?” Steve asks. Shaye knows he’s trying to make conversation with her, what she doesn’t know is why. It’s like being on a double date but her date stood her up and now it’s just the other couple trying to make it not seem so awkward.

“I was too busy looking at the stupid map and tried to step in front of a cab,” she answers. “He pulled me back before I became part of the road.”

“In her defense that map is a fucking joke,” Bucky tells Steve.

“I left my phone in the hotel room by accident,” she says feeling like she has to further explain the situation.

“May I see the map?” Steve asks. Shaye pulls the map from her coat pocket and hands it to him. He takes his time looking it over with Bucky, the two of them talking quietly as Bucky points to things on the map.

“This is your itinerary, too. Ellis Island, Radio City Music Hall, Empire State Building...is this your first time in New York, doll?” Bucky asks.

“Yes,” she says softly. She sees the guys look at each other and smile.

“We’re not doing anything today, Shaye, and if you want we can help you find your way to these places and any others you may want to see like Liberty Island or FAO Schwarz,” Steve offers.

Shaye blinks a few times. She’s unsure if this is a genuine offer or if these two are pros at scooping up stupid chicks who don’t keep their mouths shut.

“Um…”

“We don’t bite and to be honest, I haven’t been to these things in years. You kinda take for granted what’s around when you live in the area,” Bucky tells her. He offers her a sweet smile. Steve is smiling warmly, too. These guys are good, and she’s stupid, but all these places are out in public and maybe they can keep her from getting lost or getting hit by a rogue taxi or both.

“I can’t ask you to do that, guys, but thanks -”

“We offered,” Steve interjects. “Like Bucky said, it’s been years since we’ve been to these places. We’ve got as good of reason as any to go if we go with you.”

He’s smooth, she’ll give him that. She can’t hide the smile on her face.

“Whaddaya say, doll?” Bucky asks gently. “Let us tag along with you.”

“If it’s not imposing...you guys don’t have to do the whole thing...I mean that’s a lot to do and at the rate we’re going in here we may only get to one item on the list,” she tells them. They both smile pleasantly. She hopes to hell she doesn’t regret this.

“You’re not imposing, doll,” Bucky says as he takes her map from Steve. She sees his eyes light up and the biggest shit eating grin come across his face.

“I think, if nothing else today, we should go to the Captain America Museum,” he says. Shaye can see he’s trying not to laugh. She sees Steve crack his neck, looking none to pleased by Bucky’s amusement or suggestion.

“Are we ready to order?” Steve asks changing the subject. Bucky snickers and hands Shaye back her map, giving her a wink as he does.

“Sure. You know what you want, doll?” Bucky asks.

“I think so.”

“Do you need a little more time?” Steve asks gently. He legitimately sounds like he’s trying to keep her at ease with them.

“I’m good. If you can get her attention that’ll be a miracle,” Shaye says as she watches the waitress apply another layer of powder foundation to her face.

Steve gets up and walks over to her.

“She’s a shit to begin with, but she’s just off the charts today with her attitude,” Bucky states as they watch Steve head back to them while shaking his head.

“Did she tell you to fuck off?” Bucky asks.

“Almost. She needs to finish powdering her nose and then she’ll be over,” Steve replies.

“She needs to lay off the powder and take some damn personality medication,” Shaye says blandly. Once more she’s said something without thinking and she’s cursing herself for it.

Steve is grinning and Bucky is chuckling.

“Do you know what you want?” the nasty waitress asks.

“Burger, medium, no onion, everything else,” Steve says calmly.

“Same, but make mine medium rare,” Bucky tells her.

“I’ll have the burger, medium rare, with everything,” Shaye says.

The waitress writes this down and then walks off without another word. Shaye thinks about the onion on her burger, regrets that decision and decides when and if it arrives she’s going to remove the onion. No point in killing everyone with bad breath today.

“Where are you from, doll?” Bucky asks. Steve takes a sip of his drink, but Shaye can feel him watching her.

“Pennsylvania. I mean, that’s where I live now.”

“Not born there I take it,” Steve says with a smile.

“No,” she says with a nervous laugh. “I was born in Jersey.”

“That explains the sass,” Steve says and he and Bucky laugh a little. She looks at her drink and decides to try it. It’s almost all Amaretto. She’ll be ordering water after this.

“How long have you lived in Pennsylvania?” Bucky asks. She looks up and offers him a smile.

“Most of my life.”

“So...maybe the sass isn’t from Jersey?” Steve asks. It sounds like he’s a little embarrassed by his previous statement.

“Sounds like you come by it naturally, doll,” Bucky says.

“Are the burgers as good as you said?” Shaye asks, changing the subject. Talking about herself to other people always makes her uneasy.

“Usually. Hopefully they won’t make a liar out of me today,” Bucky says looking toward the kitchen area.

“Where do you want to go first, Shaye?” Steve asks.

“Bucky seems keen on going to the Museum.”

“Bucky is a shit,” Steve responds without hesitation. Shaye had just taken a sip of her drink and starts to choke a little.

“Nice one, punk,” Bucky mutters reaching for Shaye’s hand.

“You okay, doll?” Steve asks worriedly. She nods her head and dabs her mouth with her napkin. Bucky pats her hand and smiles.

“I’m good.”

“I didn’t mean to make you choke, Shaye,” Steve says apologetically.

“Just caught me off guard, that’s all. We’re good,” she tells him. She smiles warmly and she sees the smile return to his face. He’s another one with a strong jawline. Her friend Kate always told her that men are like parking spaces, the good ones are always taken or handicap. Just her luck.

“If you want to go there we can,” Steve offers. “He’s suggesting it only to be an ass.”

“It was a legitimate suggestion,” Bucky retorts.

“Sure it was,” Steve counters. Shaye can’t help but grin. She’s trying to keep from laughing at the two of them and their cheap shots at each other.

“I can do that one on my own, guys. I’m here for a few days, it’s not like I have to do all this in one day,” she tells them.

“I don’t mind going, Shaye, really,” Steve says earnestly.

“How about the Empire State Building and I’d like to see where the Twin Towers used to be. Can we do that?” she asks. This is something she legitimately wants to see, not just an excuse to get Steve from having to go to the museum against his will.

“We can do that,” Steve says happily.

“Absolutely,” Bucky agrees.

The waitress appears with a tray with their food, drops the plates in front of them and walks off.

“Jesus Christ. There’s a full bar, get a drink,” Shaye grouses as she tries to put her burger back together.

“I’m saying something to Marv before we leave,” Bucky growls as he too puts his burger back together.

“Does yours have onion on it, Buck?” Steve asks.

“Goddammit!” Bucky snaps as he pulls a huge piece of onion from his burger. Shaye checks hers to see if maybe the waitress mixed up their orders. Sure enough…

“I’ve got yours, Bucky,” Shaye says.

“I already pulled the onion off, doll. I’m sorry -”

“Don’t worry about it. I was going to do that anyway,” she tells him. “I can still trade you if you want, though.”

“No, doll, it’s good. You sure you don’t want the onion?”

“Damn sure,” she says with a small laugh.

Steve takes a bite of his first and smiles.

“Did they at least cook the damn burger right?” Bucky asks.

“Mmhmm,” Steve mumbles. Shaye looks at Steve’s pleased face and sinks her teeth into her own burger. Bucky was right, the burgers are good. It’s juicy and seasoned really well.

“What do you think, doll?” Steve asks. Bucky is grinning, seemingly aware that Shaye is impressed with the burger.

“It’s really good,” she says once her mouth is clear. “Good call, Bucky.”

“Glad you like it, doll,” he says and then bites into his own burger.

They eat in relative silence, watching the mean waitress sulk about the diner and occasionally debating on if they should bother her for more drinks or just ask for the damn check.

They finish eating and decide to harass the waitress one last time so they can get the checks.

“All together?” she snaps.

“Mine is sep-”

“All together,” Bucky says cutting her off.

“Stop that,” Shaye tells him. She doesn’t need him to pay for her meal. “Mine is separate.”

“It’s all together,” Steve says taking Bucky’s side.

“Am I going to have trouble with you, too?” Shaye asks. Both the guys smile grandly at her.

“Which is it?” the waitress demands.

“All together and where is Marv?” Bucky asks, his tone going back to that frigid one from before. The waitress immediately straightens up.

“He’s in the back. Is there something else I can get you?” she asks being overly pleasant now.

“Just Marv and the check,” Bucky tells her. Shaye sees the waitress swallow nervously and head back towards the kitchen.

“Aww, don’t get her into trouble, Bucky,” Shaye pleads. “Maybe she’s just having a really, really shitty day. You don’t know.”

“She’s always having a really shitty day, Shaye. Every. Day. I’m not going to get her in trouble, I just want her to think I am,” Bucky says with a devious smile. Steve grins.

“We know Marv,” Steve explains. “We come in here a lot. He’s a good guy. If we can spook her into changing her attitude then it’s worth it.”

Shaye looks over at the kitchen and sees an older, heavyset man coming out and heading towards them.

“Steve! Buck! Good to see you!” the man says very jovially. He grabs Steve’s hand and shakes it fiercely and then does the same to Bucky. He’s overly excited to see them both. Shaye finds this odd, but she doesn’t know the guys and she sure as hell doesn’t know Marv.

“Good to see you, Marv,” Steve says pleasantly.

“How was everything? Good?”

“Delicious as always,” Bucky tells him.

“Who’s your friend? Did you enjoy your meal, Miss?” Marv asks.

“This is Shaye,” Steve says introducing them. Marv scoops up Shaye’s hand and pumps furiously.

“It was great,” she says trying not to laugh. Marv beams proudly.

“That’s good! That’s great! Do you guys need anything else? Or you, Miss? We’ve got fresh made apple pie,” Marv tells them. The boys shake their heads no.

“No, thanks. We’re actually on our way out, we just wanted to say hi,” Bucky tells him. Marv is all smiles.

“You guys come back whenever you want! Always the best for you and your friends,” Marv promises. He takes Steve’s hand and shakes it furiously again and then does the same again with Bucky’s. He waves and walks away.

“And that was Marv,” Steve says getting up. “Nice guy.”

Bucky is dropping cash onto the check on the table. Shaye digs her wallet out and pulls out how much she thinks she owes since she hasn’t seen the check.

“It’s covered, doll,” Bucky tells her. “Put that away. Save it for a souvenir.”

“You don’t have to pay for my lunch, Bucky.”

“No, but I want to,” he says and gives her that charming grin. There’s no point in arguing. She puts the money away and shakes her head.

“Don’t be upset, doll,” Steve says extending his hand to her to help her up from her seat. “It’s not a big deal,” he finishes as he pulls her up gently. Bucky is up and to the left of Steve and both of them have the warmest, sweetest smiles. Shaye’s worried she’s in over her head, but she agreed to let them show her around….

 

**_Chapter_ **

It’s after dark and Shaye is on the subway back to midtown with Steve and Bucky sitting on either side of her. They’ve had an eventful day. The guys took her to the Empire State Building and they did the full tour, then they went to where the Twin Towers were. The boys wanted to take her to Chinatown so they did that. Shaye wanted to go see Wall Street so they did that. She took lots of pictures. Tons. The only downside was that one time she asked if they could do a group picture together, the guys had declined her and any picture she took, they made sure they were out of the frame. It seems odd to her, but she had such a good time otherwise she can’t really begrudge them not wanting to have their pictures taken.

“Did you have a good time today, doll?” Steve asks. He’s got his head leaned back and his eyes are closed. She notices his arm his behind her resting on the back of the seat.

“I did. Thank you both so much,” she says gratefully.

“We had a good time, too, Shaye,” Bucky tells her and he gives her that grin that makes his eyes sparkle. “We can do a little more tomorrow if you want.”

“I...really?” she asks totally surprised by this offer. “You don’t have to. I mean...you two have gone above and beyond with what you did today.”

“I had a good time, and so did Buck. Sounds like you did, too, doll. We can meet you at your hotel tomorrow if you’re up to having us around again.”

Shaye is speechless. Two super nice guys who want to give her a tour of New York, who she had a great time with - platonically speaking - are offering to do this again tomorrow.

“I’d love to,” she says unable to mask her delight at this. She sees the boys are both grinning seemingly pleased to hear this.

They get off at the next stop and they guys walk her to her hotel and inside to the lobby.

“What time tomorrow do you want us to meet you here?” Bucky asks as he looks around the lobby.

“What time works for you?” Shaye counters.

“Want to do breakfast together before we head out?” Steve asks.

“Sounds good. I’ll buy this time,” she tells them.

“We’ll discuss that at breakfast,” Steve says and then smiles grandly. She has to remind herself that he’s taken with the other knockout she’s swooning over, too.

“Sure we will,” she jests.

“What do you think, doll? Nine or so?” Bucky asks.

“I was thinking more like eight,” Steve says. “Get an early start.”

“She may want to sleep, punk,” Bucky teases.

“How about 8:30 guys,” Shaye says trying to compromise. Both the guys grin.

“8:30 it is, doll,” Steve says happily. “We’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Night, doll,” Bucky says with a grin.

“Night, guys. Thank you again,” she says. They smile and wave then head out of the hotel. Shaye sees the desk staff whispering and pointing but thinks nothing of it. She heads to the elevator and to her room. She’s in the best mood she’s been in for months thanks to those two guys and she’s incredibly excited for tomorrow.

 

**_Chapter_ **

Shaye wakes up before her alarm goes off. She’s giddy with anticipation. Bucky and Steve didn’t make any plans as to where they wanted to go, but they did agree to meet her at the hotel and then the three of them would go for breakfast. They were so sweet yesterday, walking with her slowly as she took in all the sites, always staying close by so she never lost sight of them.

She’s fixing her hair when it dawns on her that neither of the guys showed any displays of affection toward the other. She dismisses the thought. It’s probably just that they don’t do public displays of affection.

It’s only 7:30 when she finishes up. She paces around the room for a bit, then turns on the TV. It’s news coverage of something going on in the world. The Avengers are en route. She changes the channel. News isn’t her forte. Life is depressing and absurd enough without mainstream media cramming more bullshit down your throat constantly.

She heads to the lobby at 8:15. She doesn’t see either of the guys right away, but that’s okay, it’s still a little early. She parks herself in one of the highly uncomfortable high back chairs in the lobby and pretends to look at a magazine.

At 8:30 she checks her phone for the time. She gets up and walks around the lobby and then heads outside to see if she can see them coming towards the hotel. She looks in both directions, doesn’t see them and heads back inside. She takes her seat on the chair again and plays a game on her phone.

8:50 rolls around and still no sign of them. Maybe they’re running late. They seemed like really nice guys. They’re just running late.

9:30 comes and goes and still no sign of either of the guys.

“Hi,” Shaye says approaching one of the desk staff. “Do you have any messages for me? Shaye Delgado?”

“Let me check,” the person behind the desk says. “No, ma’am.”

“Thanks,” Shaye says softly. She goes back to the chair. She toys with her phone a little longer, foolishly hoping that they’ll arrive in the next few minutes.

By 10:30 she knows they aren’t coming. She knows she’s been ditched. She knows she should have expected it. She decides that it’s for the best, gets out her map and plugs in the name of her destination. She decides to do the tour herself rather than mope about two guys who lost interest.

 

**_Chapter_ **

The last stop of the day for Shaye is the Captain America Museum. It’s on her way back to the hotel, according to the GPS on her phone, and she may as well just knock it out so she can tell her friends Kate and Jimmy that she went. She wishes she’d just given them the prize instead of letting them convince her to take the vacation time to do this. This is a couples thing, not a single girl thing.

“Whatever,” she sighs as she steps inside. The place is elbows and assholes with barely enough room to breathe. Captain America is the shining star of New York, of course this is a big tourist destination.

She follows the throngs of people around looking at holographic images of Captain America in his full garb, images of the shield, images of his early days as a….showman? This makes her smile just a bit.

She heads deeper into the museum now where they start talking about how he rescued his best friend and fought alongside the Howling Commandos. There’s a large cut out of all of them, with Cap unmasked…

She gets closer to the cutout. It can’t be.

“What the hell?” she mutters as she stares at the cutout. She looks to his right and she sees someone who is a dead ringer for Bucky. There’s no goddamn way. No goddamn way at all.

The jawlines are the exact same. The eyes are the exact same. The builds are the exact same. This has to be some mockup photoshop shit. Has to be. Or the two guys whose names happen to be Steve and Bucky…

Nope. She shakes her head and moves past the cutout. Those two guys yesterday were fucking with her. That’s all. They gave her fake names just to fuck with her. Was Marv in on it, too? He’d addressed them by their first names…

She finds more old photos, but these are in sepia, nothing with full color detail like the cutout, but goddammit it looks just like them. So unless the guys are fucking Hollywood look alikes or clones...those two guys were the real deal.

Shaye leaves the museum before finishing the tour. Her head is spinning. It’s no wonder they ditched her. Guys like that - _fucking super heros_ \- they don’t need to waste their time on a little no name chick like her. They probably found someone else to engage their time with. Someone with supermodel good looks and the personality of a damp washcloth.

She gets back to the hotel and heads to her room. She turns on the TV, finds HBO and just lets that play in the background until she falls asleep.

 

**_Chapter_ **

“Let me get this straight,” Wanda says tilting her head and looking at Steve and Bucky quizzically. “You saved this girl from walking into traffic, spent the day with her, told her you’d see her the following day, but we got called away to a mission and now you two don’t know how to handle the situation?”

“Just let it go. She’s probably thinking you two ditched her and has cut her losses,” Sam says bluntly. Steve looks mortified, Bucky feels the way Steve looks.

“We didn’t ditch her, though,” Bucky protests. “We had no way of letting her know without compromising ourselves -”

“She has no idea who you are?” Wanda asks.

“She didn’t let on to it if she did,” Steve answers.

“You can try and call the hotel, but if you don’t have her last name they may not help you,” Wanda offers.

“Can you read this?” Steve asks handing Wanda a receipt. It’s from the restaurant they ate dinner at last night. Shaye had forcibly told them she was either buying all the meals or just hers but there was no in between. The guys had relented and let her buy her own, but she’d forgotten her receipt and it looks like Steve had snatched it up before they left.

“Delgano? I’m pretty sure that’s what that says,” Wanda says looking at the receipt. “You let her pay for her dinner? That’s not like you, Steve.”

“She wouldn’t let us buy her dinner after we bought her lunch,” Steve grumbles.

“Uh huh,” Wanda teases. “You let her get away with that, too, Buck?”

“She either bought for all of us or bought her own, we couldn’t talk her out of it,” Bucky tells her. Wanda smiles and hands the receipt back to Steve.

“Call the hotel, see if you can get in touch with her, but don’t do it right now,” she says when both Steve and Bucky pull out their phones.

“Get a burner, guys,” Clint tells them.

“A burner?” Steve asks.

“Burner phone. Throw away, something that can’t be traced back to us,” Bucky explains. There’s good reason for it. They don’t know this girl.

“If you ask Natasha nicely she can run a background check on your new friend,” Clint continues.

“You both want to hang with this girl?” Sam asks tiredly. “I mean, there’s girls all over New York.”

Bucky sees Wanda is also keen on hearing this answer.

“We made a promise to take her and show her around. I don’t want to break that promise - even if it’s a day later than intended,” Steve answers firmly.  
Sam shakes his head but doesn’t press the issue any further, thankfully. Steve’s only partially right, as far as keeping the promise thing. Bucky thought Shaye was a lot of fun, and he knows Steve thought she was fun, too, and it was Steve who needed that distraction. He’s been mopey and miserable since Sharon dumped him. Steve knew it was coming, he’d told Bucky that himself. Bucky knows that Steve took it hard, regardless of the fact he knew it was over. Sharon didn’t want Steve, she wanted Captain America and Steve just wanted to be Steve.

“Where can we get burner phones?” Steve asks looking at Bucky as the jet lands.

“Any corner store. We’ll go now, grab one and get them set up. We can call the hotel tomorrow. Hopefully she’s still there,” Bucky says.

“She said a few days, Buck.”

“She didn’t say when those few days started, Steve.”

“Don’t worry, guys,” Wanda says with a smile. “It’ll work out.”

 

**_Chapter_ **

Shaye wakes up the following morning to the obnoxious sound of someone running a vacuum outside of her room in the hall. It sounds like a tank. She rolls out of bed uttering curses at the vacuum and heads to the bathroom to get her shower. Today is her last full day here, tomorrow she checks out and goes home. May as well make the most of it.

She gets out of the shower and as she’s drying her hair she hears something that isn’t the vacuum. It’s rain, and from how loud the sound is, Shaye is guessing it’s pouring outside. She checks her phone for a weather update. It’s calling for rain all day today.

“Oh fuck off,” she growls at no one. So much for that idea. She’s not about to go traipsing around New York in a monsoon. She’s thoroughly irritated right now. The idea hits her that she could call the airline company and see if she can exchange her ticket and go home a day early. Her thought process is cut short by the in room phone ringing. She looks at it, but makes no effort to answer. It stops ringing after a bit. Shaye goes back to contemplating leaving early. She’s looking up the number for the airline when the in room phone starts to ring again. She rolls her eyes and picks up the receiver.

“Hello?”

“Mrs. Delgado?”

“Miss, but yeah.”

“This is Haceva from the front desk. I have a message here for you.”

“Do I come get it or can you read it to me?”

“I can read it to you. A gentleman by the name of Steve called and asked that you call him back at this number - there’s a pen and paper on the desk if you’d like to grab them,” Haceva says calmly.

“Gimme a sec,” Shaye says stupidly wondering who the hell Steve is as she drags the phone across the room to get to the desk. “Got it.”

“212-545-9987,” Haceva says. “Would you like me to repeat that?”

“212-545-9987,” Shaye says.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Did they say what they wanted?”

“They just asked to have you call them back,” Haceva says.

“Okay. Thanks,” Shaye says hanging up the phone. She puckers her lips when she realizes the only Steve in New York that knows that she’s here is the one she hung out with the other day. She looks at the number she wrote down. Why is he calling her? What could he possibly want? Her chest feels tight, the onset of a panic attack. Stupid things happen for no reason anymore it seems. She tosses the pad with the number back onto the desk and pulls the room service menu from the nightstand drawer. She’s not going to mess with the number or Steve. That’s just asking for trouble.

 

**_Chapter_ **

“Has she called yet?” Bucky asks again. Steve looks at his watch. It’s been five minutes since the last time Bucky asked. He’s just as eager to hear from Shaye as Bucky is.

“Did you hear the phone ring?”

“Smartass.”

“I’m not the one asking me if she’s called every five minutes,” Steve jokes. Bucky glares at him and toys with his own burner phone. Steve was really hoping the first time he’d called that Shaye would answer and they could smooth things over. She didn’t answer, but they got confirmation she was still there. The second time he called he’d left a message with the desk clerk to give to Shaye. That was almost an hour ago.

“Maybe she went out in the rain,” Bucky muses.

“You want to try and call her?” Steve aks, hoping that Bucky will. Maybe Bucky will get lucky and she’ll answer this time.

“Yeah,” Bucky mutters. Steve watches him dial the number. “Can you connect me to the room of Shaye Delgado, please? Thanks.”

Steve waits anxiously for Shaye to answer. He sees Bucky look down in disappointment as he hangs up.

“No answer.”

“We should go over.”

“You’re serious?”

“Yeah. Just show up. Let them tell her we’re there. Maybe she thinks we’re screwing around with her after yesterday.”

“I’m game -”

Bucky’s sentence is cut off by Steve’s main cell ringing.

“It’s Nat,” he tells Bucky. “Hey,” he says answering the call. Bucky leans over and takes the phone and puts it on speaker.

“Hey yourself. I hear you need a background check on some girl you two made friends with.”

“We do,” Bucky confirms.

“Why do you always have me on speaker?”

“He puts you on speaker. I still haven’t figured that shit out,” Steve replies.

“Uh huh,” Nat says with a little sarcasm. “Where’d you meet her?”

“Pulled her back onto the curb before she became a hood ornament for a cab,” Bucky explains.

“So...she’s suicidal?” Natasha asks seriously.

“No?” Bucky responds. “What the hell kind of question is that?”

“You said she walked in front of a cab, Barnes.”

“She wasn’t paying attention. She was looking at a map,” Steve tells her.

“I see. So only a mild suicide risk. Do you have a name for this mystery girl who may or may not be suicidal?”

“Jesus...she’s not suicidal,” Bucky growls.

“Shaye Delgado,” Steve answers. Natasha periodically does shit to egg he and Bucky on just to get a rise out of them. Like telling Steve she needed to pick up a fossil for the Smithsonian one day when she came to pick him up.

“Shaye Delgado. Any idea where she’s from?”

“Pennsylvania,” he and Bucky answer in unison.

“In stereo. Nice. What’s your interest in her?”

“Why?” Steve asks.

“She’s pretty and has nice tits, Nat,” Bucky fires back.

“Goddammit, Buck,” Steve groans. They can hear Natasha snickering.

“So...you’re horny?” Natasha asks. “Both of you? For this girl?”

“She’s a nice dame, we promised her we’d show her around New York, we got called away to that mission, we’d like to make it up to her, can we just make sure she’s not some covert double agent who answers to the name Romanov?” Bucky asks, his tone super cynical.

“With nice tits. Sure. Give me an hour. Don’t go near her till I give you the all clear.”

“Yeah, about that,” Steve says. “We’re going to her hotel now.”

“You can give orders, but you can’t take them?” Natasha ask playfully.

“You hear the orders, but you don’t adhere to them,” Steve answers in the same playful tone. Natasha is just being Natasha.

“Touche. What hotel?”

“Midtown Hilton,” Bucky answers.

“Keep your phones on you and turned on. I’ll be coming after you if she’s anything but a tourist,” Natasha advises and then hangs up.

“Ready?” Steve asks getting up.

 

**_Chapter_ **

Shaye is picking at the pancakes she ordered as Westworld drones on in the background. The airline confirmed her initial speculation that they can’t exchange the ticket, but she can most certainly purchase another one and lose the value of the one for tomorrow. Yeah, no. She’ll just wait until tomorrow to go home. She looks at the pad with Steve’s number on it again. Why would he bother to make the effort? Was that him that called a little while ago? What could the world’s most famous superhero want with her?

She stabs the half eaten pancakes again and the phone in her room rings.

“Jesus Christ,” she mutters. She lays back on the bed and stretches for the phone. “Hello?”

“Ms. Delgado? This is Corbin at the desk. There are two gentleman in the lobby asking to see you.”

Corbin sounds like he’s hopped up on something. He sounds very excited and jittery.

“I’ll be down in a few moments,” she says hanging up. She has this absurd idea that maybe the guys came back, but that would be stupid. She’s got nothing to offer either of them. Whoever it is down there, it’s probably some randoms that followed her back to her hotel at some point. Not the first time she’s been stalked by freaks.

She puts on her shoes, grabs the room key and heads to the elevators. Once on the ground floor she heads to the lobby. She sees the desk staff and some of the cleaning staff huddled together and talking feverishly to each other while pointing none to discreetly at the chairs. She looks where they’re pointing and sees both Bucky and Steve pacing and looking at the floor. They’re both soaked to the bone and clearly uncomfortable.

She steps around the chair so they can see her.

“Shaye!” Bucky says lighting up instantly.

“Hey, doll!” Steve says, a huge smile gracing his features.

“What are you two doing here? You’re soaked.”

“We came to see you and apologize for yesterday,” Steve explains. He glances nervously at the desk and the staff still whispering like plotting toddlers. She sees Bucky shiver and she can hear Steve’s teeth chattering.

“Do you guys want to come up to my room? I think the desk staff may be plotting and you two are dripping,” Shaye offers.

“Yes, please,” Steve says softly. Bucky nods his head in agreement.

“Come on,” she says leading them to the elevator. Both of them are shivering now.

“Shaye, about yesterday...we didn’t mean to stand you up, doll,” Bucky begins as the elevator goes up.

“Do you...do you know who we are, doll?” Steve asks as he rubs his arms.

“Up until yesterday evening I thought you two were just a closeted gay couple,” she answers as she opens the door to her room.

“Seriously?” Bucky asks sounding offended.

“Yeah. Two good looking guys in New York. You said you had to meet a friend...I just figured…” Shaye explains feeling stupid now.

“You went to the museum, didn’t you?” Steve asks.

“I did. Take off your coats, guys. And...sweet Christ, you’re clothes are completely drenched...I’ve got towels. We can hang up your shirts on the chairs and try and dry them off. What do you want to do about your pants?”

The guys look at their jeans then at Shaye.

“They’re wet. We can’t sit on anything with these on,” Bucky sighs.

“You can take them off and let them dry and your socks. There’s blankets in the drawers here,” she says grabbing the extra blankets that the hotel keeps stashed in the bottom of the dresser, “you can cover yourselves with these if you don’t want to run around in your shorts.”

She sees Bucky smirk and Steve blush.

“This isn’t what we had in mind when we came to see you,” Steve says quietly. “We didn’t mean to stand you up yesterday, doll.”

Shaye bites her lip. They both look upset, they’re both cold and wet, and they’ve made what appears to be several attempts to get in touch with her, the last attempt ending with them being saturated from the rain and cold.

“We got called away, doll. We got back last night and we tried calling you today -”

“I know,” she says stopping Bucky. “I know. I got the message. I just...I couldn’t wrap my head around what the hell you two would want with me.”

Bucky and Steve exchange confused glances. They shiver again.

“Guys, take the blankets. There’s the bathroom. Go strip out of the wet clothes. Hang the jeans over the shower rod and your socks. We can talk when you’re out of your wet clothes.”

They each take a blanket and push on each other to get to the bathroom. Shaye cleans up her breakfast and sets the tray outside of the room.

“Shaye?”

“Doll, you still here?”

They sound worried. They’d heard the door open and close and they’re worried. Or scared. Is that possible? These two can get scared? The insanity they deal with and a door closing scares them?

“I’m right here, guys. I just put the room service tray in the hall,” she calls to them. She sits on the bed and they emerge from the bathroom, Bucky with the blanket wrapped around his shoulders and holding it together from the inside, and Steve with it wrapped just under his pecs. They’re still shivering a little. She pats the bed and they come sit, one on either edge.

“What made you two come out in this weather?” she asks after a few moments.

“We couldn’t get a hold of you by phone. We wanted to keep our promise, Shaye,” Bucky explains, holding the blanket tightly.

“We couldn’t get in touch with you yesterday. Even if we’d wanted to...it’s the nature of what we do,” Steve says adding to the explanation. Shaye feels like a  heel for thinking they’d stood her up, but part of her still clings to the fact that this is too good to be true.

“It’s alright. I get it. I just figured...you were done. Once I realized who you both were I just assumed that you’d had your fun and that was that.”

“Somebody did you dirty, doll,” Steve says softly. “Somebody hurt you.”

She shrugs, unwilling to go any further into that conversation.

“That’s not us, Shaye. That’s not how we are,” Bucky tells her.

“Which is why you two came out in a monsoon without an umbrella?” she asks. The guys grin.

“We made a promise,” Steve says again.

“Promise or no promise, you both ended up soaked to the bone and cold. And you two look exhausted.”

“We are,” Bucky admits.

“It’s going to be raining all day, guys. Your clothes won’t be dry for a while. I don’t want to go out in this shitty weather. Do you?” she asks. They both shake their heads no.

“What do you want to do, doll?” Steve asks. She looks at Steve then to Bucky. They’re here, they’re cold, they’re tired...how many opportunities do you get to say you spent the day in bed with Captain America and Bucky Barnes? And who the fuck would believe her anyway?

“Get under the covers, guys. Get warm. There’s trash on TV and we can order in if you get hungry. We can check your clothes in like an hour or so and see how they’re coming along. Do you need to tell someone you’re here?” she asks. She’s guessing that as members of the Avengers that their whereabouts are accounted for on a regular basis.

“We’re good with that. They know all they need to know,” Bucky says tiredly.

“Are you sure about the bed, Shaye?” Steve asks nervously. She sees Bucky look at him and nod his head. Shaye pulls the covers back and lets them get in. She sits between them, the guys on either side of her. Bucky hands her the remote and she sees a flash of metal. He’s quick to try and hide it.

“Just show her, Buck,” Steve says propping himself up on the pillows. Bucky looks at Shaye and lets go of the blanket. His left arm is entirely metal right up to the shoulder. There’s scar tissue where metal meets flesh. He covers himself up quickly.

“Its’ okay, Bucky,” she says softly. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stare.”

“It’s alright,” he says shyly. She sees Steve reach over her stomach and grab Bucky’s arm.

“You’re alright, Buck.”

Shaye instinctively puts her arm around Bucky and pulls him in a little closer. He hesitates for a moment and then leans into her, scooting himself closer. She grabs Steve by the arm and pulls on him till he’s curled up against her. Both of the guys slide further under the blankets, each laying their head on her, both draping an arm over her. She runs her fingers through Bucky’s shoulder length hair, then she scratches the back of Steve’s head. Both of them sigh deeply.

It’s not much longer and she can feel Bucky’s weight increasing on her. He twitches now and then. She looks over at Steve who is just barely awake himself.

“You okay?” she whispers.

“Yup. He’s out isn’t he?”

“He is.”

“Idiot. He doesn’t sleep for shit,” Steve mumbles. Shaye laughs a little.

“The museum says he’s your best friend.”

“He is. More than that. He’s my brother.”

“I apologize for thinking you two were a couple.”

“People have thought worse I guess,” Steve sighs. She sees him close his eyes and this time he doesn’t open them. He’s asleep now, too. Shaye strokes his temple, looks over at Bucky, plays with his hair a bit and then lets them sleep. Clearly these two are that goddamn tired they don’t care where they fall asleep.

 

Chapter

Bucky wakes up slowly, his eyes trying to adjust to the light in the room. He feels a warm body next to him and looks up a little. Shaye is partially sitting up sleeping, one arm still around him and the other around Steve who is also sleeping. They’d fallen asleep in her arms. He vaguely remembers her fingers in his hair before dozing off. It felt good to have someone do that. It feels good to be held, too, if he’s being honest with himself. Based on the way Steve looks he’s enjoying it, too. Bucky’s willing to be Steve’s never been held by a dame. Shit, neither has he. He hasn’t been this close to a woman since the war. For all intents and purposes Steve hasn’t either. Peggy he only knew briefly and Sharon...Steve wants to love and give love, Sharon wants to kick ass and chew bubblegum.

He sees Shaye shift slightly and moan a bit. She can’t be comfortable. He goes to sit up to try and alleviate some of the pressure and her eyes open.

“Bucky? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, doll. Just trying to give you some room.”

“Goddammit,” she mutters as she cracks her neck. “I must have fallen asleep.”

“We all did, doll.”

“What’s wrong?” Steve asks groggily. Bucky sees his eyes aren’t even open yet.

“Nothing. Everyone is just waking up from a nap,” Bucky tells him as he sits up. Steve slowly opens his eyes.

“Hey, doll,” he says softly.

“You okay?” she asks.

“Yeah,” he says pushing himself up.

“Bucky, are you okay?”

“I’m good, doll,” he says and gives her a smile. She smiles and he sees her blush. He gets a kick out of that.

“Your clothes should be dry if you want to check them,” Shaye says rubbing her neck. Bucky’s certain she’s sore from the way she had fallen asleep.

“Are you alright, Shaye?” Steve asks worriedly. Bucky sees him reach for her face, but then he stops himself.

“Just sore. I’ll be alright.”

Bucky wants to caress her face as much as Steve does, but he can’t bring himself to do it either. He gets up off the bed and stretches, the blanket falls away and he’s left standing in front of her in nothing but his shorts. She cocks an eyebrow at him and grins. He smiles and drops his arms.

“Go check your clothes,” she says with a laugh. He scoops the blanket off the floor, puts it on the bed and heads to the bathroom. He’s got to take a leak anyways.

 

_**Chapter** _

Steve watches Bucky disappear into the bathroom and looks over at Shaye. She’s still rubbing her neck. Poor dame. She fell asleep holding them. She held them, he and Bucky both. They’d both fallen asleep next to her. He’s surprised that he was comfortable enough around her to strip down, and then fall asleep next to her.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Shaye?” he asks. She smiles.

“Yeah, I’ll be alright.”

“What do you want to do now, doll?” he asks. He’s not buying the fact that she’s okay. He wonders if she’d let him rub her shoulders.

“Are you hungry?” she asks. Bucky comes out of the bathroom shaking out his jeans.

“I’m starved, doll,” Bucky says. “They’r

re still damp. So are yours, kid.”

“Shit,” Steve grumbles. “How damp?”

Bucky tosses his jeans at him. Damp is right. He throws them back at Bucky.

“It’s still raining according to the weather app,” Shaye says looking at her phone.

“You can hear it in the bathroom,” Bucky says grabbing the blanket and wrapping it around himself again.

“Are you okay if we hang out for a little while longer, Shaye? We can order food,” Steve offers. He wants her to say yes. He likes being around her. She was a lot of fun the other day. She’d made he and Buck both laugh, they’d roamed around New York, and she’d been all smiles.

“Do you want to go back out in already damp clothes and get more wet? I mean, I guess logically you’ll have to go out at some point anyway…”

Steve looks to Bucky for some help.

“Going out later as opposed to now sounds like a better option,” Bucky says after a moment. “So long as you’re good with that, doll.”

Steve can tell Bucky’s hoping they can stick around, too.

“It’s alright with me,” she says giving them a sweet smile.

“Tell her what’s in the area to eat. I’ll be right back,” Steve says heading to the bathroom. He takes a much needed piss and then digs his wallet out of his pants. Not surprisingly his wallet is saturated. He needs to get Shaye’s number and make sure Bucky has it, too. She’s really a sweet girl.

He comes out of the bathroom and Bucky is sitting cross legged on the bed with his head cocked to the side looking at Shaye and she’s laughing.

“What did you do?” Steve asks trying to peel the cash apart.

“I asked her if she likes beef sausage,” Bucky says smirking. Shaye laughs more. Her mind is in the gutter just like Buck’s.

“That’s a loaded question,” Shaye laughs.

“Those kind usually are, doll,” Bucky tells her with a smirk. She laughs harder.

“Oh god,” Steve groans. He sits down next to her still fighting with the wet cash.

“You’re going to tear it,” she says softly. She puts her hand on his to stop him and he can’t help but notice how warm and soft her hands are. She gets up from the bed and motions for him to follow. He does so and so does Bucky.

“Hold them up, Steve,” she says as she grabs the hairdryer. She turns it on low and proceeds to dry the cash. Steve can feel the cash starting to get firm again.

“Maybe we should do this with the jeans,” he says with a laugh. He looks over at Bucky who is mouthing the word no and shaking his head. Steve realizes he’s just given them a potential reason to have to leave sooner and he mentally kicks himself.

“We can try it if you want,” Shaye offers. She doesn’t sound happy about the idea.

“It would take quite a while and the jeans might shrink,” Bucky says.

“It’s your call, guys. If you want to bail sooner you can. It’s not like I can offer you much in the way of entertainment,” she says apologetically.

“We’re good just to hang out, Shaye. It’s actually nice to just relax and unwind,” Steve says.

“Are you sure? Guys, seriously, you’re standing in a bathroom watching some random chick you met dry cash with a blowdryer. There’s not something else you’d rather be doing or seeing?”

“Shaye,” Bucky says gently, “we want to hang out with you.”

“We had a great time with you, Shaye,” Steve says picking up where Bucky left off. “If you’re okay with us just hanging out and watching trash on the television…”

She smiles, he can see the faint rise of color on her cheeks.

“You’re sure?” she asks again.

“You know what we do for a living, doll. Stuff like this, downtime, it’s always appreciated. Especially when it’s with someone who’s as nice as you,” Bucky says. There’s the old charmer Buck used to be coming out.

“Whatcha think, doll? Up to ordering in with us and watching more shit on TV?” Steve asks playfully.

“Sure. Put your money away, Steve. This isn’t a brothel.”

Bucky howls with laughter and Steve feels himself blushing furiously, but he’s amused nonetheless. She’s a pistol.

 

Chapter

Shaye sits on the bed looking at her phone. She’d given the guys her cell number at their request before they left. They’d each sent her a text confirming their numbers and hers. They made her promise to call and text them when she got home tomorrow and then repeatedly asked her if it was okay if they called and/or texted her. She told them it was fine and if she didn’t answer right away that she’d call them back as soon as she could. They’d both seemed overly pleased to hear this.

She has to admit she’s more than a little perplexed by their interest in her. She’s not anyone special, never has been. It was just a freak coincidence that Bucky had been there to keep her from getting run over. Even after that, though, he’d brought Steve to the restaurant he’d suggested. They’d offered to take her around town. When they didn’t show up the following day they made every effort to try and get in touch with her the very next day even so far as coming to see her in the pouring rain and getting absolutely drenched in the process.

Then there’s the fact that not one, but both of them had nodded off curled up next to her as their clothes dried. Bucky had passed out first and then Steve, both of them snuggled under the blankets of the bed and holding onto her as they slept. Is this normal behaviour for them she wonders? Do this do this with all the girls they come across? They didn’t seem to be after anything but her company. They’d slept and when they woke up the three of them had ordered food and they’d watched TV and made bad jokes about what was on. They both seemed content to just veg. But, they’d told her that’s what they wanted to do...so is she just a glorified friend? Yeah. That’s it. She’s a glorified friend. Someone they feel comfortable enough to hang out with and not feel threatened or obligated to do anything with.

She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t disappointed by this, but with her track record with men this is for the best. Besides, what the hell would two superheros want with someone like her?

 

_ **Chapter** _

“Has she called you?” Bucky asks walking into the living room of their shared apartment.

“No,” Steve answers not  hiding his disappointment. “She hasn’t texted either. Have you heard anything?”

“Negative,” Bucky says heading to the kitchen. He comes back a moment later and flops down into the recliner.

“Did she tell us what time her flight was?” Steve asks as he checks his phone again.

“Nope. Neither of us asked either.”

“Shit. I hope she’s alright.”

“Don’t think like that, kid. I’m sure she’s fine.”

“She’s definitely a looker,” Steve laughs. “Dame’s got some nice features.”

“That she does.”

“Ever curl up with a dame like that, Buck?” Steve asks.

“No. Goddammit she was soft and she smelled like heaven, Steve.”

“You’re not telling me anything I don’t know, Buck.”

Steve’s phone rings, but it isn’t the burner, it’s the main one.

“Who is it?” Bucky asks kicking the recliner back and putting his hands behind his head.

“Nat. Hello,” he says.

“Put her on speaker.”

“Put me on speaker,” Natasha says mimicking Bucky. Bucky flips off the phone and Steve chuckles.

“What do you need, Mistress,” Bucky yells from the recliner.

“That’s right, Barnes, show respect,” Natasha retorts. “I have info on your new plaything.”

“Plaything?” Steve repeats.

“She’s not a plaything, Nat,” Bucky grumbles.

“Shaye isn’t a damn toy, Natasha,” Steve states coldly. “She’s a friend.”

“Just a friend. Right. A friend that both of you are highly defensive of and overly fond of,” she says. Steve purses his lips. Bucky rolls his eyes.

“What news, Mistress?” Bucky asks.

“She’s clean, boys. No priors, no real history other than a restraining order she had placed on some dude for stalking her. That was an interesting read.”

“What happened?” Bucky demands as he sits up in the recliner. Steve is overly interested in this, too.

“Let me see...here we go. Some perv she worked with apparently gave her a slew of journals he’d been keeping about her for Christmas. The journals had some very intense and disturbing details of what he wanted to do to her, the things he’d done to himself while thinking about her, the names of their children when he forced her to conceive -”

“Stop, Nat,” Steve says cutting her off. “Where is this asshole now?”

“He moved away. Last known location...Manhattan. Well, shit.”

“I need a background sheet on this guy, Nat. I want to know what he looks like,” Steve tells her.

“I’ll get you the background sheet if you promise me you’re not going to hunt this POS down.”

“Sure,” Bucky agrees shaking his head no at Steve.

“And you’ll keep Barnes from throwing him off a building,” Natasha adds.

“Sure, Nat. Can you get me the sheet?”

“Yup. She’s in the clear otherwise, boys. Good luck,” she says hanging up.

Steve looks at Bucky then at the burner phone.

“She’s in the clear. That’s good news for us, kid.”

“Think we should call her, Buck?”

Bucky leans forward and clasps his hands between his knees.

“Give her a little longer -”

Bucky’s burner buzzes then Steve’s.

“She’s home,” Bucky says happily. Steve is ecstatic. He’s calling her, he doesn’t care.

“Shaye?”

“Put her on speaker,” Bucky says getting up and coming over to the couch where Steve is.

“Hey, Steve.”

“Hey, doll,” Bucky says so she can hear him.

“Hey, Buck.”

To Steve she sounds tired.

“You okay, doll?” Steve asks.

“They lost my luggage. Again. The flight was delayed due to a storm. It’s just been a shit day, Steve. How are you guys?”

Steve’s heartbeat picks up a bit. She’s asking about them. He sees the look on Bucky’s face, he’s moved, too. She’s a nice dame.

“We’re alright, doll. We were getting worried,” Bucky tells her. She’s silent for a moment.

“You’re both sweet.”

“Are you home now, Shaye?” Steve asks.

“Yeah. I’m going to go pass out on my bed for a while.”

“Would it be alright if we called you later?” Bucky asks.

“Or you can call us when you get up, doll,” Steve offers as an alternative.

“Thanks, guys. I’ll call you later,” she says.

“Talk to you soon, doll,” Steve promises.

“Get some rest, doll,” Bucky says.

“Later guys,” she says and then hangs up.

Steve rubs his face and then looks over at Bucky.

“She’s home. Finally,” Steve says after a few moments. Bucky gets up and stretches.

“Yeah. In Pennsylvania,” he mutters heading out of the living room.

“We can see if she’ll come visit, Buck. Ask her to stay for a couple of days.”

He watches Bucky stop just before he was about to exit the living room.

“Have her stay here? With us? You know that won’t fly...not this soon, kid.”

“What if we put her up in a hotel? A nicer one. The Plaza maybe. We take her to the places she didn’t get to go. Maybe bring her over one night?”

“I still think bringing her over would be pushing it -”

“Nat says she’s clean, Buck,” Steve interjects.

“But,” Bucky continues, “I think it’s a good idea. We just have to see if she thinks it’s a good idea, too.”

 

_ **Chapter** _

Shaye wakes up from a long overdue nap and rolls off the bed. The light on her phone is flashing. She’s got a message of some kind. She picks up her phone and sees it’s from Bucky.

_Hey doll. Call us when you get up. We want to ask you something._

She skews an eyebrow at the phone. She’s still unsure about all this with Bucky and Steve. It’s just seems too good to be true. They’ve been stupidly sweet, though, and they sounded worried when she called. She calls Bucky since he’s the one that left the text.

“Hey, doll! How was your nap?” he asks as soon as he answers. She can hear Steve telling him to put it on speaker.

“Not bad. I feel a little better. What’s up?”

“Buck and I were thinking...you never got to go see all the things on that itinerary of yours. What if we flew you up here and put you up in the Plaza for a few days? We’ll take you to all the places we didn’t get to go to and spend more time together,” Steve says quickly. He’d said all that in one breath. They want her to come back. She’s blown away by this. She sits down on the bed trying to process what he’s said.

“Shaye?”

“I’m here, Bucky. I heard you, Steve, I just...why? That’s all I can think of,” she says honestly.

“Didn’t you have a good time?” Bucky asks sounding a little upset.

“I did. But that doesn’t mean you two have to do this -”

“We want to do this. We had a good time with you. We’d like to spend more time with you. It’s our treat. Everything will be paid for,” Steve tells her. Judging by the tone of his voice he’s not going to let her argue about paying for anything should she accept the offer. And it is a generous offer. They’re willing to fly her up there and put her up just to spend time with her again. This is surreal.

“Guys...I don’t know what to say…” Shaye is being honest. She’s not really sure how to respond to this offer.

“Do you need time to think it over, Shaye?” Bucky asks. Based on the tone of his voice he’s really wanting her to make the decision now.

“I have to see if I can get the time off work, guys...are you sure about this?” she asks.

“Absolutely, doll,” Steve answers without hesitation. “We like hanging out with you. A lot.”

Shaye feels her heart start to race. What is happening here?

“Hang on. Let me grab my laptop. I can see what time there is available to take off and get it submitted. When did you want to do this?”

“How soon do you want to come back?” Steve asks putting the ball back in her court.

“As soon as you want to come back,” Bucky adds. Shaye looks at the available time off on the schedule.

So...it looks like I can snag some time off this week coming up,” she tells them.

“Really?” both guys ask together. She can hear how excited they sound and it brings a huge smile to her face.

“Next Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and....yup, Friday, too,” she confirms.

“Can you fly up Monday night?” Bucky asks hurriedly.

“We can fly you up first class Monday night if you want, doll,” Steve offers. First class. They want her back so badly they’re offering to fly her first class back to New York. It’s like a dream. Is this really happening?

“That...don’t do that, guys. First class isn’t necessary.”

She feels sort of like this is taking advantage of them and she doesn’t want to do that.

“We want to, Shaye,” Bucky persists.

“Guys...please don’t. Coach is fine, really.”

There’s silence now.

“Shaye, let us do this. Please. We want to. Besides, getting a plane ticket this late before you leave we may have no choice but first class,” Bucky tells her. She laughs. She can hear Steve giving Bucky shit for that story.

“You know you’ll be more likely to book coach than first class, Bucky, stop being difficult,” she teases.

“Ha!” Steve barks.

“Shut up, punk.”

“Coach, guys. I”m good with that. You’re already going apeshit with putting me up in the Plaza - which is also unnecessary. I’m okay with staying at the Hilton again or some other place.”

“Plaza. This isn’t up for debate, Shaye,” Steve states firmly. “Let us do this. Please,” he adds in a gentler tone. Shaye groans.

“Come on, Shaye. Let us do this,” Bucky says. He’s pleading. So is Steve.

“Why the Plaza, guys?”

“We want you to have the best time and have the best stay,” Bucky explains. Shaye finally relents.

“Alright. Let me get this request put in.”

 

**_Chapter_ **

Steve hangs up with Shaye after being on the phone for her almost an hour. They’d gotten her to agree to come back up and not only that but she’ll be back in New York in just a few short days.

“She’s going to keep pushing back on us spending money on her,” Bucky says thoughtfully. He’s twirling his burner phone around in his hands.

“I know. It makes me want to do this shit for her that much more.”

“Yeah,” Bucky says with that shit eating grin. “I think she’s worth it, though.”

“Hell yes. I miss her, Buck. I miss hearing her laugh and sitting next to her…”

“Holding her while we fell asleep,” Bucky adds.

“Her sassy remarks.”

“Those tight shirts.”

“Jesus Christ,” Steve groans. “You can see the outline of her bra.”

“Yup. She caught you gawking at her a couple of times, kid.”

“Bullshit.”

“That night at the restaurant when she leaned over the table to give us each some of her steak to try and you looked down her shirt?”

“Stop,” Steve grumbles. He can feel his face turning red.

“She noticed, kid. You made her blush. But I gotta ask...was the view worth it?”

“You’re a fucking asshole,” Steve laughs. Bucky laughs, too.

“Answer the question, punk.”

“The bra was in the way.”

This makes Bucky laugh harder.

“Shit,” Bucky sighs after he stops laughing. “What do we do, Steve?”

“About what?” Steve asks. He’s sure he knows what Bucky’s talking about but he’s not going to be the one to put it out in the open.

“Don’t act stupid.”

“That’s your job,” he tells Bucky. Bucky tilts his head and gives him a cold look, then he grins.

“Alright, asshole.”

“Just say it,” Steve says laughing at Bucky. Bucky’s grin falters.

“We both like her, Steve. We’re both attracted to her. How do we handle this?”

“I don’t know, Buck. Do we draw straws? See who she picks? The best man wins?”

“If she wants one of us she’ll go after you, Steve.”

“You don’t know that. Shut up.”

Bucky shrugs and looks at his left hand. He’s still working through his issues and his self image is the hardest one to deal with.

Steve is quiet for a few minutes contemplating what to do. Bucky’s shoulders are drooping and his head is down. He really doesn’t think he stands a chance with Shaye or with any dame. This is what keep Bucky from going after the dames. Except Shaye. With Shaye he’s come out of his shell.

And it isn’t just Bucky she’s worked wonders with in such a short time. Steve was miserable when Sharon dumped him, but after spending the day with Buck and Shaye he’d forgotten about what transpired with Sharon.

But what now? He and Buck like the same girl.

“Could she date us both?” Steve asks quietly. Bucky looks up at him.

“Seriously?”

“I’m not being a dick, Buck, I’m serious.”

Bucky’s brow furrows, he’s debating this.

“Date us both...you’d do that?”

“The question is would she? And yes. I think we can do that...can’t we?” Steve asks hopefully.

“I guess that would be up to her, Steve. Would she have us both? Does she even have feelings for us?”

 

**_Chapter_ **

Bucky paces nervously while waiting on hold for the reservationist at the Plaza. He’s worried they won’t be able to get Shaye a great room. He told the guy price doesn’t matter, he wanted one of their best rooms.

“Sir?”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks for holding. It looks like we’ve got limited availability those days. I have regular rooms with two queen size beds, but no suites those days.”

“Shit. What’s the best of the rooms with the queens that you have?”

“They’re all pretty much the same, to be honest. I assure you they are all nice rooms, Sir.”

Bucky thinks about this. They told her the Plaza and their intentions were to get her the nicest room there. Now he’s not so sure.

“Sir?”

“Book it. It’s for a good friend of mine. I’m covering all her charges. Anything she wants make sure it gets billed to me,” he instructs.

“Not a problem! Let me get some information and I’ll make sure it’s all taken care of,” the reservationist promises.

Steve walks in carrying two large pizza boxes.

“Did you book the room?”

“On the phone now.”

“A suite?”

“None available.”

“You’re shitting me,” Steve says not making his disappointment.

“It’s all confirmed, Sir. Would you like the reservation number?”

“Yes. Get me a pen, Steve.”

“Let me pull one out of my ass, Buck.”

“Sir?”

“One second,” Bucky says into the phone. “I will kick your ass when I’m done,” he threatens Steve. Steve just laughs as thim and takes the pizza into the kitchen. Bucky finds a pen, but no paper and ends up scribbling the reservation number on the pizza box.

“Where the hell is our paper?” Bucky demands.

“There is none,” Steve says with a shrug.

“Really?”

“What the hell do we need paper for?”

“Reservation numbers,” Bucky says flatly. He grabs a slice of pizza.

“The pizza box worked just fine. You booked her room?”

“Done. You get the plane ticket?”

“First class, leaves Monday evening at 7pm. Shit, I need to call her,” Steve says dropping his half eaten slice back into the box. He gets out his burner phone and calls Shaye.

“Speaker,” Bucky reminds him. He sees Steve glare at the screen and then select the speaker option. Bucky can now hear the phone ring.

“Hey, Steve.”

Both Bucky and Steve smile like fools when they hear her voice.

“Hey, doll,” Steve says happily. Bucky can tell Steve’s as smitten with Shaye as he is. They can make this work, he thinks. Provided she’s agreeable to it, that is.

“Hey, Bucky,” she says. She knows she’s on speaker and she’s made sure to acknowledge them both.

“How you doing, Shaye?” Bucky asks.

“Eh, I’m good. How’s by you?”

“We’re good. We booked your flight and room,” Steve tells her.

“Still on for Monday?” she asks. Bucky picks up on the nervousness in her voice.

“Absolutely, doll. We called to give you the reservation numbers and the flight info.”

“Guys are you sure -”

“We’re sure, Shaye,” Steve says cutting her off. “We want to see you, doll.”

“We do. It’s all taken care of. We’ll meet you at the airport Monday night.”

“And if you aren’t able to?” she asks alluding to them being called away. Bucky looks at Steve. He hadn’t considered that possibility.

“If we get called away we’ll make sure you’ve got a ride to the hotel -”

“Guys, listen -”

“Shaye, it’s taken care of. Please trust us,” Bucky begs.

“We’ve got this, doll. Please come up,” Steve adds. Bucky realizes he and Steve are pleading with her, but it’s worth it. If she comes up and they can hang out with her and maybe get to cuddle with her again. God that was so fucking nice.

Steve smacks him on the arm and nods towards the phone. Bucky mouths the word _what_.

“Say it again, Shaye,” Steve says. Bucky hears her giggle. He grins.

“Will you let me buy you guys dinner?”

“Nope.”

“Bucky?” she asks.

“Doll...no. We’ve got this.”

“We’ll negotiate when I get there,” she tells them.

“Not really, but okay,” Bucky says with a small laugh. They hear her growl. It’s low and throaty and the reaction Bucky has is immediate and intense. He sees Steve is holding himself up using the counter, his face is flushed.He’s having the same type of reaction. It’s not pleasant especially knowing the only relief is a cold shower or your hand.

“We’ll talk about it when you get here, doll,” Steve says heavily.

“Steve, I’m not tryin to sound ungrateful. I’m really not,” Shaye says. She sounds worried.

“I know, Shaye, but just let us do this. No arguing, okay?” Steve tells her.

“We’ve got it taken care of, doll,” Bucky adds. His balls are throbbing and all he can think about is that low growl she did.

“Can I ask why you two insist on doing all this?” she asks. She still sounds nervous.

“We want to, Shaye. We like being around you,” Bucky says gently.

“You’re a nice dame,” Steve tells her. This makes her laugh.

“Is that better than being a broad?” she teases.

“Hell yes!” Bucky laughs. Steve’s chuckling and shaking his head in amusement.

“I’ve got to get laundry started, guys, and I’ve got some other things to do like clean this shit hole up before I head up there. I’ll call you tomorrow if you want?”

She always asks permission to call. Bucky wishes she would just call whenever she wants without feeling like she needs to schedule an appointment.

“You know you can call whenever, doll,” Steve says as if he’s read Bucky’s mind. “You don’t have to ask permission.”

“Maybe not, but I’d rather not call and interrupt you doing something.”

There’s that nervousness again. Bucky looks to Steve who is shaking his head.

“Shaye -” Bucky begins in protest.

“It’s fine, guys. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

“Alright, doll. Be good, “ Steve tells her.

“Bye, guys.”

“Bye, doll,” Bucky says. They hear her disconnect the line.

“Somebody hurt her.”

“Yeah, that asshole who stalked her,” Bucky growls.

“I think it goes beyond that, Buck. She has trust issues. Like you do.”

“Yeah. I noticed it, too. I just don’t know how to help her get around them.”

“I don’t either, but if we want to make this work we’re all going to have to try.”

 

**_Chapter_ **

Steve and Bucky have been feverishly cleaning their apartment all day. Tonight Shaye comes back and even though she’s staying at the Plaza there’s a chance she may come over while she’s in New York and they want the place spotless.

They’d cleaned their bedrooms, washed their sheets, blankets, all the towels, and the nearly two tons of laundry they each had. The place has been vacuumed, mopped, scrubbed and all but spit shined for Shaye.

“It’s clean, right?” Steve asks tiredly.

“Jesus Christ, it better be,” Bucky grouses as he throws himself across the couch.

Steve sits down in the recliner. Her plane is supposed to land at 7:30. It’s only 3:30 now. What are they going to do for the next four hours?

“I’m going to go take a shower,” Steve says rubbing his shoulders.

“Don’t spend all day in there jacking off,” Bucky mumbles from the couch.

“I’m not you, shithead,” Steve says heading to the bathroom. He hears Bucky laughing like the asshole he is.

Steve strips and looks at himself in the mirror. Would Shaye think he’s a good size? Would she be impressed? Would she run her nails over his chest and down his abs? Would she sink to her knees and cup his balls while she licked and sucked his cock? Would she look up at him with her grey eyes while she bobbed up and down on him?

He moans and realizes he’s standing naked in front of the mirror stroking himself. He lets his hand fall away. Sharon had seemed disappointed with him and angry at his lack of experience. She’d expected him to be someone else all the time. She wanted Captain America, not Steve Rogers the man behind the mask. Thinking about this brings a fresh wave of pain and disappointment.

He gets in the shower and plants his hands against the walls letting the hot water hit his skin. Sharon was his first. Peggy should have been. Maybe. But he probably would have disappointed her just like he had Sharon. If this thing with Shaye comes to fruition odds are he may end up disappointing her, too.

Steve rubs his eyes and finishes up. She’ll be here in a few hours. He wants her to have a great time. He clings to the hope that she’ll give he and Buck a chance and that this time he won’t be a disappointment.

 

**_Chapter_ **

Bucky lays on the couch thinking about what Steve suggested. Would she date them both? Sharing a dame isn’t like sharing a pizza. He’s not the jealous type and he’s never known Steve to be jealous, either. Shaye seems pretty adept at handling them both. That became obvious that rainy day in the hotel when he and Steve curled up against her and she’d held them while they all slept. She’d run her fingers through his hair and Steve had mentioned that she’d scratched the back of his head a few times. Steve was so tickled by that when he’d told Bucky about it.

She doesn’t act like she favors one of them over the other, which is good. She’s beautiful, she smells like a dream. He hasn’t been with a dame since the war, and that was a one night stand just to get his rocks off. He wants something long term with Shaye. Her sweet smile and the way her stormy gray eyes sparkle when she laughs or blushes. The lush curves she hides under that jacket when they go out. How soft her touch is. How good she smells.

Bucky moans. He still believes he doesn’t stand a chance with her. He’s broken and deformed. He looks at his left hand and sighs. She hasn’t mentioned it since that rainy day. She’d been shocked when she first saw his arm, but she’d been quick to apologize for staring. She’d put her arm around him after that and pulled him closer…

It dawns on him that she didn’t care about how his arm looks. She’d just pulled him closer, run her fingers through her hair and let him fall asleep with his head on her chest. The three of them had napped together on that bed - he and Steve under the covers, Shaye on top of the covers between them, snuggling them both.

The hope that this could work out starts to build, and along with it a burning desire to touch her. Ravish her. Sink his cock deep inside her and listen to her yell his name.

His balls throb, begging for release. He wonders what Shaye would be like in bed....

“Go take a cold shower. Jesus Christ,” Steve bitches as he walks into the living room.

“Jealous?”

“You’re disgusting. And no, I have no reason to be jealous,” Steve snaps. Bucky laughs.

“Whatever.”

“You plan on doing this while she’s here?” Steve taunts.

“No. Not intentionally.”

“She’ll be here in about three hours -” Steve is cut off by both he and Bucky’s main cell phones going off. The mood immediately changes.

“You have got to be fucking kidding,” Bucky snarls as he answers his phone. Steve answers his at the same time. No words are spoken by either of them. They’re issued orders to go and the calls end.

“FUCK!” Bucky yells. Steve has his hands on his hips and is shaking his head.

“Let’s go. Maybe they won’t need us both,” Steve says sounding anything but hopeful. They guys grab their gear and rush out.

 

**_Chapter_ **

Shaye stands by the luggage turnstyle waiting for her bag to appear. She hasn’t heard anything from the guys since this morning and she’s getting uneasy. She sees her bag and grabs it. She gets out her cell and calls Bucky. It rings forever then goes to voicemail. She calls Steve. Same thing happens. She sends them both a text and waits. No response after fifteen minutes. They may have gotten called away. She heads to the car rental desk.

“Yes?”

“Hi. I was wondering if you had a car reserved for Shaye Delgado?”

The woman types hastily on the keyboard.

“No.”

“Oh,” Shaye says softly. “Thanks.”

She heads to the waiting area and checks her phone. No response still. She pulls up the number for the Plaza.

“Plaza Hotel.”

“Hi. Can you tell me if you have a reservation for Shaye Delgado?”

“I’ll be happy to check,” they say. “Sorry. No. Do you have a reservation number?”

“I...yes!” Shaye says quickly. She’d copied the reservation number down onto a notepad app on her phone. She gives the number to the person at the Plaza and waits.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, this number doesn’t pull anything up.”

Shaye hangs up the phone. She feels sick and she’s crying. They ghosted her. She’s so fucking stupid. She should never have believed  this was anything more than a fucking joke. They played her. They set her up. The plane ticket was the bait and she’d fallen for it. How could she be so motherfucking stupid?

She walks to the counter for one of the airlines.

“Hi. How much for a one way ticket to Philly? Or Harrisburg?”

“Philadelphia will be $410 plus tax, Harrisburg $505, plus tax.”

Harrisburg is closer to home. Maybe Kate and Jimmy will come pick her up if it’s not too late.

“Harrisburg please.”

“Very well.”

The woman gets all of Shaye’s info and Shaye pays with what little she has left on her credit card. She gets her ticket and waits to board. She calls Kate and tells her there’s been a change of plans and asks if it would be too late for her or Jimmy to come pick Shaye up. Kate, always the nicest person around, promises she and Jimmy will be there.

The flight doesn’t leave for another two hours. Shaye sits in the waiting area trying to keep from crying. She periodically checks her phone and feels worse each time she does.

 

 

**_Chapter_ **

Bucky and Steve are livid. The mission was a wild goose chase that took almost a day and a half to resolve. They’ve not been able to reach out to Shaye the entire time.

As soon as they get back to the compound both men grab their burner phones.

“Call her,” Bucky says. Steve does. There’s no answer.

“No answer.”

“She called. And texted. Steve...there’s nothing after Monday night.”

“I see it, Buck. There’s nothing on mine either.”

Bucky calls her. Steve watches as the phone rings then goes to voicemail.

“Shaye? It’s Bucky. Baby, where are you? Call one of us, please.”

Bucky called her Baby. He only uses that term of endearment for dames he really, really likes.

Steve sends her a text saying almost the same thing.

“Call the hotel,” Steve tells Bucky.

“Can you connect me with Shaye Delgado, please...what do you mean there’s no one by that name? Check under James Barnes...what the hell is a no call no show? What?...Oh god…” Bucky groans letting the phone slip from his hand. It hits the floor and shatters.

“What the hell is going on?” Steve demands.

“Guys? What’s the deal?” Natasha asks.

“She never showed up. She’s not there, Steve.”

“No,” Steve says defiantly. He calls her number again. It doesn’t ring this time, it goes directly to voicemail.

“Guys. What happened?” Natasha asks again, her voice a lot more stern.

“She didn’t show up,” Steve tells her.

“What the fuck happened?” Bucky demands. “The car! I never reserved the car!”

“Did either of you bother to tell her you got called away so she’d at least have some idea what was going on?” Natasha asks.

Steve and Bucky exchange horrified glances.

“Based on that look I’d say no,” Natasha sighs.

“We booked a room for her, Nat. We told her to go there if we weren’t there to pick her up,” Bucky states.

“You gave her the reservation number?”

“Yes!”

“She’s not answering?” Natasha continues. The guys shake their heads no.

“She ghosted you,” Sam says bluntly. “She set you two up and let you take the fall.”

Natasha glares at him.

“Come see me in an hour. Buck, get yourself a new phone,” Natasha orders.

 

**_Chapter_ **

Shaye sists on the couch at her place looking at the termination paperwork she was handed today at her job. They had called her up and asked her to come in even though she was scheduled off. Just to fire her. Why not add insult to injury? First she gets ghosted because she was stupid enough to think those two guys were interested in her and now because the owner’s son was brought in to do her job at twice her salary they had to let her go because they could barely afford to pay her as it was. Jesus Christ bananas.

And just to add salt to these fresh wounds the two guys had tried to call her and text her like nothing happened, like nothing was wrong. They probably just want to get a reaction out of her. Fuck that and fuck them. She’d blocked their numbers. She sees the voicemail notifications still coming through, but she deletes them without bothering to listen to them. She gets alerts about text messages from blocked numbers but she ignores those alerts.

This whole week has been a goddamn joke. The only ones to come through for her have been Kate and Jimmy. Sadly, those are the only two people who haven’t fucked her over yet.

She looks at her phone as another voicemail notification comes up. Steve’s number. He’s the only one calling. Bucky must have moved on to a new victim.

She should have changed her number the night she got back. It never crossed her mind until today and now it’s too late. She’s sent out countless resumes to potential jobs with this number on it. She’ll just have to continue to ignore the voicemails and text attempts.

She goes back to her job search ignoring the hurt she feels every time Steve tries to call or text.

 

**_Chapter_ **

“She won’t answer. She doesn’t respond. What the hell?” Steve demands. Bucky sits sullenly on the couch.

“Natasha told you what? That there’s video surveillance of her at the airport arriving and then leaving some hours later?” Wanda asks.

“Yeah,” Bucky mutters. He’s heartbroken to say the least. So is Steve. They don’t know if she’s okay. They don’t know why she left. They don’t know why she won’t talk to them.

“Have you tried calling her, Buck?” Wanda asks gently.

“No. She won’t know the number. I had to replace the phone and I couldn’t keep the old number.”

“His phone broke…” Steve stops talking because Wanda is looking at them like they’re both morons.

“Call her, Buck,” she orders. “Call her on that phone and I bet you she answers.”

Bucky shakes his head.

“She doesn’t know this new number. Why would she answer?”

“That’s why she’ll answer. Trust me,” Wanda says heading out of their apartment.

“Trust her,” Steve sighs as soon as she’s gone. Bucky looks at the new burner phone then at Steve.

“What have we got to lose?” he asks.  

 

**_Chapter_ **

Shaye is filling out yet another online application form, this time for a job in Quantico, Virginia. She can’t rely on something showing up in this little area and, honestly, maybe it’s time for a change.

Her phone rings and it’s a number she doesn’t recognize. Hopefully it’s someone calling her about a job.

“Hello?”

“Shaye?”

She freezes. She recognizes the voice as Bucky’s. She thoroughly regrets not changing her number.

“Shaye?”

That’s Steve’s voice. They both sound upset and worried. Who cares? She needs to hang up.

“What.”

Why isn’t she hanging up?

“Baby, what happened? Where are you? Is everything okay? Why wouldn’t you answer -”

“Stop,” she snaps, cutting him off. “Is this some kind of sick fucking game you two play?”

There’s silence. You can hear a pin drop. She’s about to hang up when Steve speaks.

“Sweetheart...we aren’t playing games.”

He sounds choked up. She’s got to keep it together. These two are clearly master manipulators.

“Right. So the whole come see us, we booked you a hotel room and we’ll get you a car bullshit, what was that?” she demands angrily.

“Baby, we booked the hotel,” Bucky says, the emotion in his voice raw and unchecked. “They said you never showed -”

“Bullshit! That’s bullshit and you know it!” she yells angrily. “I called the fucking hotel and asked if they had a reservation for me after the shit with the car turned out to be a goddamn joke.”

“I forgot about the car, baby. I thought we’d be there to pick you up. That’s my fault. I’m sorry. I am so very sorry. I did book the hotel. I swear to god -”

“Where’s the pizza box?” she hears Steve ask. He’s no longer interested in this conversation anymore obviously.

“Trash bin. Shaye, I swear -”

“What the fuck is wrong with you two?”

“I’m getting the reservation number and I’m calling the hotel,” she hears Steve bark. “If they screwed us over…”

Shaye doesn’t hear the rest. This is a pretty good act these two are putting on.

“Shaye...baby…”

“I am not your goddamn baby,” she snarls. She hears him heave a shaky sigh and the doubt starts to creep in. What _did_ happen? She can hear Steve now, his voice cold and gruff as he talks to someone on speaker phone.

“Just tell me if this is the right reservation number for the room that was reserved by James Barnes. 17966527.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Aw, horsehit,” Shaye growls looking at her phone for the reservation number.

“Shaye? Did you hear that?” Bucky asks. His voice is low and there’s a slight tremor to it.

“17966257,” Shaye states, reading the number off of her phone.

“No, doll. 527. The last three numbers are 527,” Steve says gently,.

“The reservation number is 17966527,” the person on speaker confirms. Shaye blinks. Is it possible...could she have entered the number in wrong? In her haste, could she have switched the numbers when she keyed the numbers into the note app in her phone?

“Shaye, we aren’t playing games. We got called away. It wasn’t supposed to happen, but it did. We didn’t set you up, baby.”

“Sweetheart, we’ve been trying to call you and message you for days,” Steve adds. “We were worried something happened to you. We aren’t screwing with you or - what did Sam call it?”

“Ghosting,” Bucky says flatly. “We didn’t ghost you, Shaye. We wouldn’t be trying to call you. We wouldn’t be trying to prove that were were telling the truth about the hotel. I swear to you, baby, we wanted to see you -”

“We still do,” Steve interjects.

“The car thing was my fault. I expected us to be there to meet you. I’m so sorry,” Bucky says apologizing again. Shaye feels like shit now. She wants to stay mad at them because that’s safe, there’s no risk in getting hurt there, but she can’t. The emotion in their voices, the attempts to reach her, calling the hotel, the fact that she’s the one to blame because she got the reservation number wrong….

“Shaye, please say something,” Steve begs.

“I don’t know what to say, guys.”

 

**_Chapter_ **

Bucky and Steve look at each other unsure what to do now.

“Can we come see you, sweetheart?” Steve asks. Bucky knows Steve just pulled that out of thin air.

“When?” she asks after several painfully long moments.

Bucky mouths the word _now_ to Steve.

“We can leave now and be there in a few hours,” Bucky suggests. He’s hoping and praying she agrees. He and Steve have been going apeshit since they got back from the mission.

“You don’t know where I live.”

“Would you tell us?” Steve asks.

“112 Willow Tree Court. That’s Carlisle. 17013.”

“Wait, wait...get paper,” Steve mutters.

“We don’t have any, remember?” Bucky reminds him.

“Son of a -”

“I’ll text it to you.”

Steve’s phone goes off a moment later with the address.

“We’ll leave now. It won’t take long to pack,” Bucky promises. Steve’s already calling the airport to see if they can book a flight.

“Are you sure you two want to do this?” she asks. Bucky can hear the hesitancy in her voice. Steve moves his phone from his ear. He heard it in her voice, too.

“Yes, doll. We miss you and we want to see you. And to prove we aren’t playing games we want to come there,” Steve tells her in a gentle voice.

“Be careful.”

“We will, baby. We’ll see you soon,” Bucky says.

“See you in a few hours, sweetheart,” Steve adds. They hear the line disconnect.

“I need two tickets to Carlisle, Pennsylvania,” Steve says into his own phone. Bucky heads to his room to pack quickly.

“What do...so what’s the closest airport?”

Bucky stops and turns around. Steve is visibly irritated.

“Harrisburg? Fine. Two for Harrisburg. When does the next...an hour? Book it,” Steve commands. He starts giving his info and Bucky runs to get his shit packed.

“Hurry up!” Steve yells.

“I’m done! What the hell are you doing?” Bucky yells back.

“Finishing.”

They meet in the living room, make sure everything is turned off and make a hasty exit.

Bucky calls Nat to tell her where they are going and to tell her they are not to be bothered. Steve calls Wanda to thank her for suggesting Bucky call her from his phone.

They arrive at the airport and have to run to check in and then run even faster to get to the gate before the plane leaves. They barely make it to their seats.

“The flight is two hours. We should get there about five or so,” Steve says looking at his watch.

“Harrisburg is north of Carlisle. Half an hour in great traffic,” Bucky says looking at his phone. He’s already plotting a course. GPS is set up with her home address.

“There’s a car rental place there in Harrisburg. Or we can call a cab I guess,” Steve muses.

“Whatever gets us there fastest, kid, I don’t give a shit.”

“She really thought we ditched her,” Steve says sadly.

“You said so yourself, somebody hurt her. They did a goddamn number on her if that’s what she thinks. She doesn’t know any better.”

“She needs to get to know us, Buck. She needs to see we aren’t like that.”

“Yeah. Yeah, she does.”

 

**_Chapter_ **

Shaye wipes her eyes. They’re coming here to see her. They’re coming to see her, she made a mistake and they’re trying to make it right. They’re taking responsibility. Her phone goes off. It’s a text from Steve. They’ll be in Harrisburg in about two hours.

They are making every goddamn effort to prove her wrong. To show her that they’re genuine. Would it hurt to give them another chance?

She sends Steve a text.

_Meal options. Where do you want to go eat? What do you like?_

She gets a response almost immediately.

_We’re not picky. Wherever you think sounds good, sweetheart._

They seem to eat out a lot. Do they ever get home cooked meals, she wonders?

_Do you want to go out or stay in? I can make dinner._

There’s a delay in the response.

_You don’t have to go through that kind of trouble, sweetheart. Can’t talk, taking off. See you soon, sweetheart._

Shaye puts the phone down. She taps her bottom lip for a few moments. She could run to the store and get something to make them for dinner. She knows they like meat based on their ordering choices when they were together briefly.

She grabs her bag and her phone and heads to the store. If they don’t like what she makes, she’ll bring it to Kate and Jimmy. Jimmy loves her cooking and Kate loves not having to make dinner if she doesn’t have to.

Shaye gets to the store and grabs what she needs for dinner and some other things. She has no idea how long the guys are planning on staying, and she’d rather try and play it safe.

She gets home in a little over an hour and gets dinner started.

She finishes up and checks her phone. There’s less than an hour till they land and it’s another almost forty-five minutes from the airport to her front door. She makes sure everything is clean and decent and then makes sure she looks presentable, as well.

 

**_Chapter_ **

Bucky and Steve get off the plane as quickly as possible. This airport is a fraction of the size of La Guardia. They rush towards the sign for Hertz Rental Car.

“We need a car, please,” Steve states. The dame behind the counter smiles at him.

“Sure. Two big guys like you, you sure you want a car? Maybe a truck would be better?”

“Whatever you have available,” Bucky says hurriedly. She smiles even more.

“I’ve got a Tundra that just came back.”

“That’s fine,” Steve says. The girl seems more interested in flirting than helping them. Luckily, someone else comes to the counter.

“Amy, go on break. How can I help you gentlemen?” the man asks. Steve is relieved. Maybe now they can get going.

“We need to rent a car, truck, SUV...something. We’re in a bit of a rush,” Bucky tells him. The man nods.

“Preference?”

“Truck. She said you had a Tundra?” Steve asks. The man nods again.

“Let me get your information. Do you have a major credit card and your driver’s license?”

Steve hates this part. Most of the time they don’t recognize his name, but there are a few that do and then it becomes a side show of autographs, pictures, and strangers telling them they love him. He gets his wallet and pulls out his credit card and driver's license. They guy behind the counter doesn’t bat an eye at the license. He simply enters everything, gives Steve the paperwork to sign off on and then gives him the key.

“Follow me,” the man says. Steve and Bucky follow him outside. The wind is harsh and blowing fiercely. It’s freezing outside.

“Right there,” the man says pointing to a gun metal gray Tundra. He nods his head and runs back inside out of the wind. Steve and Bucky get inside the cab of the truck quickly. Steve puts the key in the ignition and the truck rumbles to life. It sounds like someone beat the shit out of the engine.

“Sounds like a fucking Sherman tank,” Bucky grumbles. Steve shakes his head and puts it in gear.

“Directions, Buck.”

He sees Bucky get his phone out.

“Turn left onto Airport Road,” the mechanical female voice instructs.

“Call Shaye, Buck. Tell her we’re on our way.”

“On it. Jesus Christ, Steve, turn the heat up,” Bucky says.

“It’s all the way up, Buck.”

“Turn right onto Park Lane and then merge onto 522 South,” the voice instructs.

“Can’t call her on this or you’ll miss the directions,” Bucky tells him.

Steve finagles his phone from his coat and hands it to Bucky. Bucky calls her and puts it on speaker. The phone rings and rings. After the sixth ring it goes to voicemail.

“No. No, call her back,” Steve orders. Bucky doesn’t get a chance, the phone rings a second later.

“Shaye?”

“Sorry, I was in the other room. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, baby. We’re on our way. ETA about thirty-five minutes,” Bucky says.

“Be careful, guys. If you get lost call me, okay?”

“We’ll be alright, sweetheart. See you soon,” Steve says.

“See in a bit, baby,” Bucky adds. The call disconnects. Steve sees Bucky shiver.

“This thing has no goddamn heat,” Steve mutters. “Piece of shit.”

Steve pushes the Tundra almost twenty miles over the speed limit in an effort to get them to Shaye faster.

“We get pulled over it’s on you,” Bucky jests.

“You see me still being passed by other cars? Like I’m standing still? Like that guy,” Steve says pointing to the Mustang that just barreled past them and is steadily disappearing from sight.

“Or this one coming up on our right?” Bucky asks. Steve looks in the rearview. It’s an all black SUV coming up on them fast. It speeds past the Tundra and that’s when they see the lights come on.

“Unmarked. They’re going after the Mustang,” Steve laughs. He takes that as a sign and slows down a little.

“In three quarters of a mile take exit 47 for Hanover Street.”

“Yes, boss,” Steve mumbles.

 

**_Chapter_ **

Shaye hears a door slam and then another. She gets up and looks out the window. It’s the guys. She opens the door and a blast of icy wind greets her.

“Come on, get out of the cold,” she calls to them. They grab their bags and run inside to her. She shuts the door and the three of them just look at each other for a moment. The guys look cold and tired. She grabs Steve by his free arm and Bucky by his and pulls them closer so she can hug them both. They drop their bags on the floor and put their arms around her, each one resting their head on one of her shoulders.

“You’re both freezing.”

“The goddamn truck has no heat,” Bucky mumbles from her neck.

“Take your coats off. Coat rack is behind you. Are you thirsty or hungry?”

“Thirsty,” Bucky says shedding his coat.

“Very thirsty,” Steve agrees.

“I’ve got coffee, tea, Pepsi, juice, water, milk, Amaretto, Jack Daniels…”

“Coffee, please, baby,” Bucky says.

“Same, please,” Steve says.

“Come on, I’ll give you a tour after I get the coffee started,” she says leading them to the kitchen. “I got fresh ground stuff, but I wasn’t sure what you liked so I just got like a breakfast blend,” she says apologetically. Both of the guys smile.

“That’s fine, baby. You didn’t...what are you cooking?” he asks distractedly as soon as they walk into the kitchen. Steve is sniffing the air.

“It smells good,” Steve tells her.

“Pot roast with red potatoes, baby carrots and onions. I wasn’t sure what to make you two for dinner…”

“You didn’t have to do this, sweetheart,” Steve says softly. “We would have taken you anywhere you wanted to go.”

“You don’t like pot roast?” she asks worried that she’s made a mistake.

“We do. I do, at least,” Bucky says quickly.

“I do, too, but we didn’t expect you to cook for us, Shaye,” Steve explains. She shrugs and grabs the coffee from the cabinet. They are behind her in a heartbeat, taking the coffee from her and filling the carafe with water to put into the coffee maker.

“Filters?” Bucky asks.

“Guys, I’ve got this. You’re guests. Sit down,” she orders. They pout.

“You don’t need to -”

“I’m going to,” she says cutting Steve off. They sit down at the tiny kitchen table. She gets the coffee started and checks the pot roast in the instant pot.

“It smells amazing,” Bucky marvels. She laughs a little.

“Want the tour of the rest of the place?”

“Yes.”

She guides them through her home, shows them the spare bedroom and her room and where the bathroom is. Both of them make a pit stop at the bathroom and they head back downstairs.

“Coffee should be ready. How do you take it?”

“Black,” they say together.

“Black,” she repeats. She gets some mugs down, fills them and hands them to the guys.

“Thanks you,” Bucky purrs and then takes a drink.

“Thank you, sweetheart.”

She leans against the counter and lets them drink their coffee.

“How was traffic?” she asks.

“We watched a Mustang get busted by an unmarked,” Bucky tells her. She nods.

“Otherwise it wasn’t bad. We passed lots of fields and warehouses,” Steve says.

“That’s pretty much this entire area, Steve.”

She sees Steve yawn and rub his shoulders. Bucky has his head leaned back and is staring blankly at the ceiling.

“When was the last time you two slept?”

“Is it that obvious?” Steve asks.

“Yeah. It is. Do you guys want to go take a nap?” she asks. They exchange glances.

“That day it was raining, Shaye, and we came to the hotel…” Steve begins, speaking slowly. “We all kind of crashed on the bed together. Can we do that? If you want?”

Shaye looks from Steve to Bucky. Bucky is now focused on her, both of them look hopeful. And tired.

“You want to cuddle together on the bed?”

“Yes. Please?” Bucky asks. “Or the couch. We can sit on the couch if we’re pushing for too much. We aren’t trying to make you uncomfortable, baby. It’s just -”

“Come on. Put your mugs in the sink. There’s a TV in my room.”

They both jump up and rinse out their mugs. She leads them upstairs and into her room.

“Are you two still cold?”

“A little,” Steve says. Bucky nods.

“Do you want blankets or do you want to crawl under the covers?”

“We can do blankets,” Bucky says. She heads to her closet and opens the blanket chest and grabs two fleece blankets. Bucky sits on the edge of the bed and yawns. Steve’s back to rubbing his shoulders. She hands them each a blanket and climbs into the middle of the bed. Bucky drops down onto his back, throws the blanket over himself and rolls over on his side facing her. Steve lays down on his side and fights with the blanket. She takes it from him and lets him get comfortable, then she covers him up with it.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” he says. She slides down a little and the guys curl up against her, draping their arms over her. She puts her arms around them, rubbing their shoulders a little and then running her fingers through their hair. She hears contented sighs from both of them.

“Turn on the TV, baby. It won’t bother us,” Bucky mumbles adjusting his head so he’s now laying on half of her chest just below her bra line. Steve’s a little lower, closer to her stomach, his head resting on her midsection. She uses the app on her phone to turn on the TV, lowers the volume and finds something to watch. It isn’t long before both of the guys are asleep.

 

**_Chapter_ **

Shaye sits quietly on the bed playing on her phone while the TV plays Short Circuit in the background. She runs her fingers along Steve’s shoulder and he sighs and stretches. She lifts her hand quickly, afraid she may have woke up the sleeping lion. He doesn’t open his eyes, just nestles in closer. She looks over at Bucky who has his face buried into her right tit. She’s pretty sure he can’t breathe like that, but she lets him go. He’s content. She finds it hard to believe these guys came down here just to cuddle with her on a bed, but...here they are.

She looks over at Steve and he’s looking back at her. He gives her a grand smile.

“Hi,” he says softly.

“Hey. How was your nap?”

“Nice. It’s not everyday I get to curl up next to a pretty dame and hold her till I fall asleep.”

“You should call her and have her move in with you so you can have that all the time,” Shaye says half joking, half not. Steve’s smile breaks for a second.

“If I call you, it’ll wake up Bucky and he’s an asshole when his sleep is disturbed.”

“Shut up, punk.”

Shaye looks down at Bucky whose eyes are still closed.

“See?” Steve chuckles.

“This is the shit I have to deal with,” Bucky grumbles. “Goddamn egomaniac.”

This makes Steve laugh. She runs her fingers over Steve’s shoulders and he nestles in closer to her, closing his eyes again. She toys with a lock of Bucky’s hair and he looks up and smiles.

“You’re good with us, doll,” Steve says letting her go and sitting up and back so he’s next to her on the bed. “You’ve got a soft touch.”

“Is that why you had to come down here?” she asks. She’s overly curious about this.

“We want to see you. We want to spend time with you. We want to get to know you better and have you get to know us better,” Bucky explains.

“We like you, Shaye,” Steve says quietly.

Shaye purses her lips.

“As in friends?” she asks. She knows what the answer is going to be.

“Shaye…” Bucky says softly. Her phone goes off. It’s an email alert...from the place in Quantico.

“Oh shit,” she says under her breath. “Hold that thought, guys. I need to see what this is. It’s a potential job lead in Quantico,” she says opening the app on her phone.

“Virginia? You’re looking for a job in Virginia, sweetheart?” Steve asks sounding disappointed.

“Yeah. I got shit canned the day after I came back from the fuck up I did in New York. It’s been a bang up week,” she explains. The email is from the job she applied to earlier asking for a time they can call her to do a phone interview.

“Jesus, baby, I’m sorry -”

“It’s not your fault, Bucky,” she says stopping him. “I’m going to set this up for tomorrow. Is that okay? I don’t know how long you guys want to stay? I don’t want to miss this opportunity, I need a job…”

“Set up the interview, sweetheart,” Steve tells her. She sees Bucky shoot him a cold look.

“Noon? They usually take less than an hour, it’s just formality shit,” she says as she replies.

“Noon is fine, doll,” Bucky says. She finishes up and puts the phone down.

“What’s wrong, Bucky?” she asks. She can tell by his tone he’s not happy. He looks at Steve and she can see Steve isn’t thrilled, either.

“Quantico is further away from New York than you are now,” Bucky says choosing his words.

“I know you lost your job, I know this week was...it was a mess. For you in particular, sweetheart. Bucky and I…” he stops and looks down, rubbing the back of his neck. Bucky moves so he’s sitting in front of her so she doesn’t have to keep looking between them.

“We like you, Shaye. A lot…” Now Bucky falters.

“How do you feel about us, Shaye? Is it just - are we just friends to you? That’s fine, if that’s how you feel,” Steve says quickly. She’s not sure she’s hearing this right.

“I do like you guys. You’re both very sweet, very charming, very handsome,” she tells them. They both grin.

“Would you consider...would you consider dating us both?” Steve asks hastily, throwing the question out there. She sees them both brace for the answer. She’s not sure she has one.

“Guys...I suck at relationships. Every one I’ve ever been in has ended in disaster. I can’t maintain a relationship with just one person and you’re asking me...both of you? You guys could get any girl you wanted,” she says changing gears.

“We don’t want any girl, Shaye. We want you. You won us over. You’ve got this way about you...we’re comfortable with you,” Bucky explains.

“Shaye, it’s hard for us to find someone that sees beyond the Avengers persona,” Steve states.

“Especially for him,” Bucky adds. “I have my own issues,” he says looking at his left arm.

“That first day in New York...I had just been dumped. I was miserable and after hanging out with you all day it was like what happened with the breakup didn’t matter. I felt good and relaxed and happy, Shaye. I felt this connection with you,” Steve tells her.

“I don’t believe in coincidence, baby. Never have. Everything happens for a reason. I was there to catch you from walking in front of that cab. You were supposed to take my suggestion to go to Nona’s. We were supposed to hang out. I haven’t felt as comfortable around a dame since the war. I haven’t approached a dame or talked to one the way I talk to you, with you, since the war. I’m not afraid of you. I’m not embarrassed by this,” he says looking at his arm again.

“We want to see if we can make this work, sweetheart. But, we need to know where you stand with this,” Steve says.

Shaye opens her mouth to say something, but her voice fails her.

“Baby?”

“Guys...realistically how would this work? Barring the fact I have no job and no source of income, how would this work?”

“Barring the income thing which is not an issue for us,” Steve begins, “you would date us both. We would only date you. Right?” he asks looking to Bucky for confirmation.

“That’s the gist of it, yeah,” Bucky confirms.

“Why? Won’t that cause an issue between you two?”

“Why would it?” Bucky asks. Shaye shakes her head.

“You’re telling me there won’t be any jealousy? How does dating work? Do either of you get one on one time or is it the three of us all the time?”

The guys look at each other.

“We aren’t really the jealous types,” Steve tells her.

“The dating thing...I mean maybe one on one sometimes and maybe all together other times?” Bucky suggests.

“And this won’t be an issue?” she asks again. “No problems with me showing affection to either of you?”

“All we can do is try it. I don’t think there will be an issue, baby. If you keep doing what you do with us…” Bucky begins.

“Holding us. Giving us equal attention. Letting us spoil you,” Steve says with a big grin.

“Let’s just say we all agree to this,” Shaye says hesitantly, “I have no job. I have to find something. I have resumes out in areas that include the D.C. area, Chicago, Atlanta, and Philly. What happens if I get a job halfway across the country? How long till you lose interest?”

“Why haven’t you applied in New York? Haven’t you found anything?” Steve asks.

“I haven’t looked, to be honest.”

“We aren’t going to lose interest. If you get a job in Chicago, we’ll do all we can to come visit as often as possible, but...baby, would you at least consider looking in New York?” Bucky asks.

“I can’t afford New York, guys. I can’t. I’d barely be able to afford living in the D.C. area and that’s a big area. Fairfax, McLean, Quantico...a small one bedroom in a decent area is like two grand a month. In New York? I’ll be lucky to get a room in a slum for that much.”

“You can stay with us -” Steve starts to say.

“No,” she says cutting him off quickly.

“Why? It’s rent free and it’s safe, we’ll be around,” Bucky says trying to convince her.

“If you decide you’re tired of me I’m out on my ass with no place to go,” she counters.

“Won’t happen,” Steve states. “We have a two bedroom apartment in a good neighborhood. You won’t have to pay for -”

“I can’t do that. That’s your personal space and Bucky’s. I’m assuming you two don’t share a bedroom?”

They both look appalled.

“No. We do not share a bedroom. He has his and I have mine,” Bucky tells her. “I don’t sleep much -”

“Where the hell would we sleep, guys? Everyone in their own room? Me on the couch? Bucky on the couch since he only seems to sleep when his head is on my tit?” she says trying to make a joke. She sees Bucky grin sheepishly.

“Does your question mean you’ll consider looking for work in New York?” Steve asks. She puckers her lips.

“No.”

Both boys sigh heavily.

“What if we do this, Shaye. What if you look for a job in New York, just look and see what’s out there and Bucky and I will look for a bigger place. Three bedrooms in a good neighborhood -”  
“Steve -” she starts to argue. He holds up his hand to stop her.

“Three bedrooms in a good neighborhood. We cover all the costs for the place, you bank your payroll and if something happens between us -”

“Which it won’t,” Bucky interjects.

“But if it does,” Steve continues undeterred, “you’ll have that money to get a place of your own or move. Bucky’s right, though, it won’t happen. You’ll have your money to do with as you please.”

“No,” she says again. “If it sounds too good to be true than it usually is. This…” she laughs nervously, “this is above and beyond. You don’t know me. You know nothing about me. I could be some raging psychopath or something.”

“We know you’re not. We had to check on your background, Shaye,” Bucky says gently.

“Of course you did,” she says not surprised in the least.

“We had to, baby. We had to make sure,” Bucky tells her. She knows why they had to, she gets it. They need to be safe and they need to be sure.

“I’m not mad. Doesn’t rule out the possibility that I’m a fucking nut job, though. Or that I’m the reason all my past relationships have ended in disaster of epic proportions.”

“I’m willing to take that chance with you, Shaye,” Steve says.

“So am I. You don’t understand, baby. I can’t tell you how hard it’s been trying to find a dame who will accept us? Who won’t judge us? Who...Shaye look at me. I’m not…” Bucky trails off. She sees tears in his eyes.

“There’s nothing wrong with the way you look, Bucky,” she says softly. She reaches for his left hand and he lets her take it.

“Yeah,” he says not believing her.

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the way you look,” she says firmly.

“This is what we mean, Shaye,” Steve says in a low voice. “He feels comfortable around you. I’m comfortable around you, sweetheart. It’s been hard for us...we just…”

She can see he’s struggling with what to say. She gets the gist. They want to be loved for who they are behind closed doors, for who they really are,  not the images they project. They want her. Both of them. They’re offering her a rent free place in New York city and all they want is love. For now.

“We’ll do a three bedroom, baby. One of those rooms will be your private room, just for you,” Bucky tells her, still trying to coerce her into job hunting in New York.

“All expenses paid, sweetheart. We’ll make sure the rent is covered, utilities, food, other necessities...you won’t need to buy anything unless you want it,” Steve says trying to sweeten the deal more.

“I have to go check on dinner,” she says sliding off the bed. “Let me think about it.”

“Alright, baby.”

“Do you want us to stay up here?” Steve asks.

“No,” Shaye says with a small laugh. “If you want to come downstairs you can.”

The boys bounce off the bed. Bucky reaches for her hand and pulls her back into his arms. Steve puts his arms around her, too and she’s pressed between the two of them as they hold her. She puts her arms around Bucky and hugs him first, lets go and hugs Steve next. They’re both solid walls of muscle and very powerful.

“Come on,” she says taking them downstairs.

 

**_Chapter_ **

Bucky and Steve sit on the couch while Shaye checks on dinner.

"Here's one. Three beds, one and a half baths, just outside of Manhattan," Bucky says looking at the listing.

"Look at the address. It's not in the safest of neighborhoods, Buck. I don't want her alone in that area if we get called away, " Steve says. Bucky sighs. On initial glance it's going to be a lot harder to find a three bedroom place than he thought.

"Shit," Bucky hisses. He's getting frustrated already.

"We'll find something," Steve says sounding sure of it.

"What if she doesn't  agree to it? To this?" Bucky asks keeping his voice low.They can hear Shaye in the kitchen moving things around.

"We have to try to Buck. We want her. We like her. We have to try and show her we have feelings for her. She's scared. You heard what she said about her past relationships."

"I heard her, Steve. I know she's scared. Shit, so am I -"

"I am, too," Steve cuts in. "I failed Sharon on an epic level -”

" You didn't fail her, kid," Bucky states firmly. "She wanted someone you weren't."  
Steve Shakes his head no.

"Buck, I couldn't satisfy her...I was this huge disappointment," Steve confides. His voice is so low Bucky can barely hear him.  Sharon was Steve's first. To hear how miserable he is about it…

“Steve, don't dwell on that shit. She's gone. Shaye is here. She's not Sharon. Thank god," Bucky says.

"No, she isn't but I don't want to disappoint Shaye. I don't want her to look at me the way Sharon did after..." Steve stops  
talking and shakes his head. Bucky sits back on the couch. He doesn't know what to say to ease Steve’s mind. He puts his hand on Steve’s shoulder and squeezes.

"First times are hit or miss, kid, but you remember the old saying?" Bucky asks. Steve looks at him.

"What old saying? " Steve asks.

"How do you get to Carnegie Hall?" Bucky asks with a grin.

Steve finally cracks a smile.

"Practice, practice, practice,"  Steve answers and then laughs a little.

 

**_Chapter_ **

Shaye is cutting the pot roast down to let it finish cooking. She can hear Steve and Bucky talking in low voices in the living room. She picked up on them looking for a three bedroom place. She hasn’t even agreed to this and they’re already looking. She doesn’t know how to feel about this. On the one hand, it sounds like they are absolutely serious about this. On the other...they know nothing about each other, they just met, and they want her to move in with them. Who does this kind of thing?

She can hear them talking about someone named Sharon now and she can hear the pain in Steve’s voice. Whatever happened this Sharon person had hurt him. Which means Steve is on the rebound. Which means this isn’t anything more than a passing fancy, right? Was this Bucky’s original intention? To help Steve move on? No. The whole moving in thing doesn’t fit with the scenario. Maybe Bucky’s serious about it and right now Steve’s just along for the ride. So what happens when this phase with Steve is over? Will Bucky decide he’s had enough, as well? Is all this that they’ve promised worth the risk of another heartbreak? Shaye isn’t sure what to do now as far as Bucky and Steve and this dating thing goes. What she does know is that she won’t be moving in with them.

She heads into the living room. Both the guys stand up and smile. This may not be as cut and dry as she thought.

“Dinner will be ready in about an hour,” she tells them.

“It smells great, baby,” Bucky says.

“It really does,” Steve agrees.

“Guess we’ll have to wait and see if it tastes as good as it smells,” she says.

Steve extends his hand to her and Shaye sighs. He drops his hand to his side.

“What’s wrong?” Steve asks.

She looks at them and bites down on her lips.

“Shaye?” Bucky says when she doesn’t respond.

“I appreciate what you two are trying to do,” she says slowly, “but I can’t.”

The instant disappointment and hurt on both their faces is heartbreaking.

“Shaye...why?” Bucky asks.

“Because we know nothing about each other. Because moving into a place with people I don’t know is a bad idea. Hell, moving into a place with people I _DO_ know is a bad idea.”

“I see your point, sweetheart, but I’m going to counter that with the fact that you moving in will allow us to get to know each other. Think of it as trial by fire...sort of,” Steve says.

“No,” she says sticking to her guns. They guys look at each other. This isn’t what they wanted to hear.

“Baby, what are you really afraid of here?” Bucky asks gently.

“Oh, the usual. Getting burned. Getting hurt. Getting stuck in New York with no place to go and no one to turn to,” she replies.

“Fair enough,” Steve says, “but can I ask if that will be any different if you get the job in Quantico?”

He’s a strategist. Goddammit.

“Is there someone in Quantico? Friends? Family?” Bucky asks.

“The answer to both your questions is no.”

“So, there’s a chance that moving anywhere you could end up getting hurt and being left alone with no one to turn to, right?” Steve persists.

“I don’t plan on moving in with anyone, Steve.”

Steve opens his mouth to continue to argue, but Bucky stops him by putting his hand on Steve’s shoulder and shaking his head no.

“Alright, baby,” Bucky says softly. “We won’t push for moving in with us. That doesn’t change the fact that we both still want to see you.”

She had not planned on them sticking to this part of the offer.

“You’ll get tired of me -”

“No, Shaye,” Steve says firmly, “we won’t. Whoever hurt you - we aren’t those guys,” he says motioning between himself and Bucky.

“You don’t want to move in, we understand. Sort of. At least give us the chance to show you we’re being serious with you. We do like you. We do want to get to know you. The question now is do you want to get to know us?”

The ball is back in her court. She’d told them previously she did and she still does. She’s scared, though. She’s scared that this is going to be a double heartbreak and she doesn’t think she could handle that.

“What are you thinking, beautiful?” Steve asks. This is a new pet name, and it makes her blush. He smiles at the reaction.

“Honestly?” she asks.

“Honestly,” Bucky answers.

“That I’m going to get hurt twice over.”

“That isn’t our intention, Shaye,” Steve says sounding hurt himself.

“The road to Hell, Steve…” she says gently.

“I know, I know,” he says and then sighs. “You won’t even give us a chance?”

“Don’t push her, Steve,” Bucky tells him as he sits back down on the couch. Bucky looks defeated. She can see the sadness written all over his face. Steve is still clinging to that thread of hope.

“I don’t want to fight about this, guys. I said I would give you a chance and I will. If you think we can make a long distance relationship work -”

“We can. We will,” Steve promises. Bucky gets up.

“We will do whatever it takes to make this work, baby.”

“No more bullshit about moving in?” she asks.

“Will you consider looking for a job in New York?” Steve asks. Bucky elbows him in the side.

“Don’t press the issue, Steve,” Bucky tells him.

“I will look. That’s all,” she says relenting a bit. Steve and Bucky both light up.

“That’s all we can ask for, sweetheart,” Steve says sounding pleased.

“You definitely want to try and make this work?” Bucky asks. He’s looking for solid confirmation that she’s willing to try and date them both.

“I do. I just...I’m worried that this is just some passing phase for you two. Just something to kill time -”

“No,” Steve says firmly. “It is not.”

“It’s not, baby. But the only way to really know is to give a chance,” Bucky says softly.

 

**_Chapter_ **

Steve watches as Shaye considers her options. She’d shot down moving in with them. To say he’s disappointed would be an understatement. Her points of contention are valid ones, though, he has to admit.

“If I agree to this, then what?”

“We spend as much time as we can together,” Bucky says matter of factly. She nods her head. Steve reaches for her hand and pulls her closer to he and Bucky. Bucky puts his hand on her hip, Steve keeps her hand in his. She looks up at him and smiles.

“How about a kiss to seal the deal, baby?” Bucky asks. Steve’s impressed how forward Bucky is with her, but he’s not complaining. She leans in and kisses Bucky first, Bucky putting his hands on her back and pulling her in closer. She never lets go of Steve’s hand. Bucky lets her go and caresses her face. Steve tugs on her and pulls her closer to himself. He puts his arms around her. She presses her lips to his and puts her arms around his neck.

He lets her go and caresses her face. Bucky has his hand at the small of her back. She puts an arm around him and pulls them both closer to hug them. Steve and Bucky struggle with what to do for a moment with the arms that aren’t on Chase. Bucky settles for putting his arm on Steve’s back and Steve puts his on Bucky’s. He puts his head on Shaye’s shoulder, his face in the nape of her neck. He feels her run her fingers up and down his back.

“Are you two ready for dinner?” she asks letting them go. Steve doesn’t her go and neither does Bucky. He doesn’t want to let her go.

“We are,” Bucky answers. “I’m starved, baby, and that roast smells amazing.”

“Come on,” she says. They finally let her go and follow her to the kitchen.

 

**_Chapter_ **

Bucky finishes his second helping, scraping the plate with his fork to try and get the remnants of the sauce, meat, and onions left on his plate. She’s a damn good cook. This was the best meal he’s had in years. He looks over at Steve who’s scraping his plate clean, too.

“This was fantastic, baby,” Bucky gushes.

“Do you want more? There’s a little left. You two can split it if you’re still hungry,” she offers. He sees Steve look at him and grin.

“Are you sure, beautiful?” Steve asks.

“I made it for you. If you guys like it, then please eat it. I’m full,” she says. Both Bucky and Steve get up with their plates to get more.

“You want some bread, Steve? Bucky?”

“No, baby, we’re good.”

“I’ll take some. Is there butter?” Steve asks getting up. Bucky laughs a little.

“There is. I’ll get it, go sit down,” she says batting at him. He grins and sits down again.

She puts the butter on the table and gives them both a couple of slices of bread.

“Just in case you change your mind,” she says to Bucky. He sees Steve smirk and then go back to eating.

“I told you that you’re good with us, sweetheart. Are you sure you don’t want any more?” he asks. Bucky studies her. She only had a small plateful.

“I’m good. I had a bunch of the potatoes.”

“You’re a damn good cook, sweetheart,” Steve tells her.

“You’re sweet. Where are you guys staying?”

Bucky and Steve look at each other. They didn’t plan ahead for where they would stay.

“About that…” Bucky says in a low voice. Part of him was just under the assumption they would stay with her, in her bed, cuddled against her.

“We didn’t plan ahead for that. We just booked the tickets and came here, Shaye,” Steve explains.

“I have a spare room upstairs with a bed. One of you can sleep there, one of you can sleep in my room and I’ll crash on the couch,” she offers.

Bucky gives her a perplexed look. Why the hell would they want to sleep away from her?

“You’d be opposed to sleeping together?” Steve asks. “We don’t have to,” he adds in haste.

“It’s a queen size bed, guys. We all barely fit on the one at the hotel or the one upstairs. You’re both going to be comfortable all night?”

“Would you be?” Bucky asks. “Sleeping between us, I mean.”

She thinks about this.

“Steve?” she says turning the question back to him.

“I’m all for it,” he says with no hesitation.

“We can try it,” she says and smiles. Both he and Steve are ecstatic about this. Spending the night cuddled with her instead of a few hours? Hell yes.

Steve pushes his plate in front of him and leans back. Bucky’s finally full, too. She’s sweet, she’s beautiful, she’s a great cook, all that’s missing is how she is in the sheets and goddamn he’s dying to find out now.

“Want something to drink and we can go chill in the living room? I have an idea for how to get to know each other a little better,” she says with a mischievous smile.  

 

**_Chapter_ **

Shaye, Bucky and Steve head to the living room with their drinks. Shaye has Amaretto and orange juice, Bucky and Steve have Jack and Pepsi.

“So what’s this idea, doll?” Bucky asks. Shaye can hear how piqued he is.

“I thought about doing truth or dare, but I figure Never Have I Ever would be more fun. Ever hear of it?”

“No,” Steve says.

“Uh uh,” Bucky replies.

“The premise is we take turns, each one of us will go and we say something to the effect of never have I ever and then you name something that you’ve never done. If one of the other two people have done it they have to take a drink,” she explains. Bucky is grinning, clearly liking the idea. Steve smiles and agrees. Shaye is pretty sure Bucky gets the idea, but Steve isn’t aware of what he may get into.

“You start, baby,” Bucky tells her.

“Alright. Never have I ever...been in a relationship with two individuals at the same time. Not counting this one.”

“Ouch,” Steve mutters, but neither of them take a drink. Bucky chuckles.

“Nice, doll. I’ll go next. Never have I ever been engaged.”

No one drinks.

“Never have I ever...had a one night stand,” Steve says. Bucky’s jaw drops.

“Well shit,” Shaye mutters and takes a drink. Bucky takes a drink and Steve shakes his head.

“You asked,” Bucky reminds him. Steve finally cracks a grin.

“This is the idea of the game. Not the innocent round of questioning you made it out to be,” he says with a laugh.

“I never made it out to be anything,” Shaye says sweetly.

“I see. Alright, smartass, you’re turn,” Steve says with his grand smile. Shaye laughs.

“Since Steve decided to take this dirty -”

“No wait a minute,” he protests. Bucky is laughing. They aren’t even drunk yet and this game is already funny.

“Never have I ever...kissed someone of the same sex,” she says.

“That’s disappointing,” Bucky mutters. Steve smacks his arm. Neither take a drink.

“Never have I ever...taken dirty pictures of myself,” Bucky says and grins.

“Jesus Christ,” Shaye laughs. Steve is trying not to laugh and looking at the ceiling while laughing. No one drinks.

“At this rate we’ll never finish our drinks,” Steve muses. Bucky snorts.

“You’re turn, kid.”

“Any question is permissible?” Steve asks. Bucky tilts his head and looks at Steve in mild amusement.

“Sure. Don’t get offended, though,” Shaye warns him. Steve nods.

“What are you doing?” Bucky asks. Steve ignores him.

“Never have I ever had sex with two guys at once,” Steve says. Shaye looks at Bucky.

“Don’t look at me, doll! He addressed the question to you!”

“Okay, well I haven’t, and I’m assuming neither of you have,” she teases.

“That would be a negative, sweetheart,” Steve assures her.

“Alright, wiseass,” she says and grins. “Never have I ever had sex with two people at the same time. Male or female,” she says rewording Steve’s question.

“And that is how you’re supposed to word the questions,” Bucky laughs. Steve rolls his eyes. No one drinks.

“Never have I ever gone a day without underwear,” Bucky says. Steve drinks. Both Shaye and Bucky laugh.

“Seriously?” Shaye asks.

“I ran out and had to do laundry that day,” he says with a shrug. “Never have I ever...hmmm….had sex in public.”

Shaye takes a drink. Their eyes get huge.

“Really?” Bucky asks looking for confirmation.

“Drive-in theater.”

Steve’s got a huge smile on his face. Bucky looks mildly impressed.

“Never have I ever...dated someone ten years older than me.”

“You better drink, doll,” Steve says and laughs.

“Shit. I forgot about that,” she mutters. She takes a drink and the boys grin.

“Never have I ever cheated on a significant other,” Bucky says.

She and Steve don’t drink.

“Never have I ever gone down on someone,” Steve says.

“Damn, kid,” Bucky laughs as he and Chase take a drink.

“You’ve done that?” Steve asks Shaye.

“Blow jobs? Yes. I’m assuming since Bucky drank he’s gone muff diving.”

Bucky chokes on his drink when he starts to laugh. Steve hits him on the back.

“Muff diving,” Bucky rasps.

“How many...do you do it a lot?” Steve stammers.

“Uh uh,” she says shaking a finger at him. “Gotta wait till it’s your turn again, babe.”

Bucky is almost in tears from laughing.

“You’re such a goddamn jerk,” Steve grumbles at him.

“Oh god, kid,” Bucky groans and then laughs more. Even Shaye is laughing. This is more entertaining than she thought it would be.

“It’s your turn, Bucky,” she tells him. Bucky nods.

“Never have I ever used a toy to get off,” Bucky says. He’s smirking. Shaye drinks.

“Care to elaborate?” Steve asks. She sees Bucky shift himself and she smiles. We all have needs, they’re no different.

“Vibrator. Three speeds with the bunny attachment,” she says nonchalantly.

“What the fuck is a bunny attachment?” Steve demands. Shaye starts laughing again.

“Is that you’re question?” she asks him.

“No,” he says shaking his head.

“No, his question is about blow jobs,” Bucky says and gets socked in the shoulder.

“Ask away,” Shaye says laughing at them.

“Never have I ever...goddammit...how the hell do I ask in this phrasing? Never have I ever….shit…”

“Just ask it,” she says letting him off the hook.

“Do you do it all the time? Is it something you just do for a guy you like? What’s it like?” he directs the last question to Bucky. Bucky shakes his head.

“So long as she keeps her teeth in check it’s great,” he replies.

“There’s that. And I don’t just go up to random guys and suck their dick, Steve. That’s disgusting. I do it as a sort of treat for the guy I’m with. It’s something guys enjoy...I guess.”

“It is, baby. Trust me, it is,” Bucky assures her. Steve’s face is flushed. She moves so she can sit on the coffee table in front of them and she reaches for his face.

“Still want to play? We can change the questions if you’re uncomfortable,” she says softly. He looks into her eyes and smiles.

“I’m good, sweetheart. I want to keep going. This is a pretty screwed up game, but it’s fun.”

Bucky chuckles a little.

“You sure?” she asks again. His smile broadens. He’s alright.

“I’m good,” he says again. He leans forward and gives her a kiss. She puts her hand behind his head and holds him while she slips her tongue into his mouth.

“Ready?” Bucky asks when she lets Steve go.

“Sure. You want a kiss, too?” she asks. He grabs her hands and pulls her into his lap, presses his lips to hers and parts her lips with his tongue. Bucky’s seemingly the more forward of the two and she’s okay with that. One to lead and one to follow.

“Never have I ever,” she says when Bucky lets her go, “hit on someone who was married,” she finishes as she takes her seat on the coffee table again.

They don’t drink.

“Never have I ever danced provocatively for a significant other,” Bucky says. Shaye drinks.

“I’d like to see that,” Steve says and grins.

“Me, too,” Bucky adds.

“We’ll have to see how well you behave,” she tells them. Their eyes light up.

“Damn...never have I ever slept with someone while drunk,” Steve says. Shaye and Bucky drink.

“Seriously you two?” Steve asks.

“We were both drunk and it seemed like a good idea at the time,” Shaye admits.

“Pretty much the same, kid,” Bucky tells him.

“Wow. Alright.”

“Never have I ever screwed a coworker,” Shaye says. Steve drinks.

“Sharon? You’re counting her as a coworker?” Bucky asks.

“Work with her on things, don’t we?” Steve counters. Bucky shakes his head.

“Never have I ever gotten myself off in front of someone,” Bucky says. Shaye drinks. Steve leans back in the chair and groans. Bucky downs his drink.

“You’re not supposed to ask the question if you’ve done it,” she tells Bucky.

“I haven’t done it. You have and I need a drink,” he says. “Can I get more? Do you need more?

“By all means, sugar.”

“Steve?”

“Sure,” Steve says handing Bucky his glass. She can see Bucky’s hard. His jeans aren’t hiding the fact, neither is his untucked shirt. She’s willing to bet Steve is hard, too. The thought of both of them hard has her turned on something fierce. An aching need is building quickly inside her.

Bucky heads into the kitchen to get their drinks. She looks at Steve who is studying her.

“How the hell are you single, Shaye?” Steve asks.

“I suck at relationships, Steve. I suck in bed, too, according to one of the exes. The last guy called me a whore when I tried to impress him,” she says softly. She’s uncomfortable now. Talking about this stuff...it’s not fun. Not after what the last guy did to her.

Steve leans forward and pulls her into his arms and onto his lap. She was right, he’s hard and her desire is reignited like an explosion.

“You’re with the wrong ones, sweetheart,” he purrs into her ear. “We can show you things will be different.”

It sounds like both a threat and a promise. She’s not sure how to take that.

“Was that a threat?” she asks trying to make it sound playful. He takes her chin and turns her face towards him.

“It’s a promise.”

“What are you promising her, kid?” Bucky asks emerging from the kitchen. He hands Steve his drink and Shaye hers, then takes his seat on the couch next to Steve. He puts his hand on Shaye’s leg and squeezes.

“That we aren’t like the other assholes she’s dated,” Steve says.

“So you told her we’re assholes. Great. Nice work, punk,” Bucky says jokingly. Shaye can’t help but smile. Steve shoots Bucky a cold look.

“Want to keep playing?” Steve asks.

 

**_Chapter_ **

Shaye, Steve and Bucky are sitting on the couch laughing at each other. Steve loves this game. This has to be the most fun he’s had in months. He’s learned that Buck and Shaye are sexual deviants and he’s the good guy. He’s okay with that.

“Never have I ever...watched porn,” Steve says. Bucky and Shaye drink.

“You need to live a little, kid,” Bucky teases. Shaye giggles.

“This explains the insane amount of moaning I hear coming from your room when you’re in there,” Steve retorts. Shaye cracks up laughing.

“Alright, asshole,” Bucky mutters. Shaye pats his leg, but she’s still laughing.

“There’s nothing wrong with watching porn, Steve. How do you know what you want to do? I’ve seen some interesting stuff…”

“Have you tried any of it?” Bucky asks excitedly. Now Steve’s laughing.

“Uh uh. Phrase it properly,” she tells him.

“It’s not his turn anyway,” Steve reminds her. Bucky shoots him a harsh look. Steve sticks out his tongue.

“Save that for later,” Shaye says. Steve’s cock throbs in his jeans. She’s had him wound up since they started this game and she just keeps saying these things…

“Was that an offer?” Steve hears himself ask. Now Bucky is laughing. Shaye puckers her lips but doesn’t answer.

“You didn’t phrase the question properly,” Bucky tells him.

“You’re a dick,” she says and then laughs.

“Standard equipment,” Steve and Bucky say together.

“Oh for god’s sake,” she groans. “My turn. Never have I ever...bought lingerie.”

“Are you fucking kidding me, baby? Never?” Bucky asks sounding upset.

“Nope. Never had a reason to,” she says and shrugs. Steve looks at Bucky.

“No one ever bought you any, beautiful?” Steve asks.

“Nope.”

Steve can see the look of determination on Buck’s face now. Steve knows that he and Buck are going to change that. This excites him that much more. Lacy see through items on her body? Absolutely.

“So...what do you wear when you’re going to be intimate?” Bucky asks. Steve wants to hear this. Shaye takes a long drink.

“Nothing. I wore one of the exes button down work shirts once...thinking it would be fun and racey.” She takes another drink.

Steve sees Bucky looking at him and then to Shaye.

“What happened, sweetheart?” Steve asks softly.

“He threw a fit. Told me to never touch his clothes again. Called me a fucking whore.”

Steve watches as she downs the rest of her drink.

“Baby…” Bucky says softly. Steve puts his arm around her and rubs

the back of her neck. Bucky runs his fingers along her cheekbone and takes her hand.

“It’s alright,” she says getting up. Steve can all but see her defense mechanisms coming online.

“Do you two want more to drink?” she asks.

“I’m good, baby. Maybe it’s time for you to slow down, too, okay?” Bucky says softly. Steve takes her glass and puts it on the coffee table.

“Come here, sweetheart,” he says standing up. Bucky gets up as well. They put their arms around her and hold her. Steve hears and feels her sigh heavily.

“Should we move this upstairs? Get ready for bed?” she asks, changing the subject altogether.

“Alright, sweetheart,” Steve agrees.

“You’re still good with us sleeping together, baby?” Bucky asks. She smiles warmly.

“I am. Unless you want to set up other arrangements.”

Steve shakes his head no at Bucky. Bucky grins.

“Nah, baby. I like sleeping with you.”

“On your tits,” Steve adds taking a shot at Bucky. This makes her laugh. Bucky flips him off, but Steve can see he’s relieved to see her laugh again.

“Don’t hate. I have two. You can put your head on one if you want.”

“Actually, I was thinking of spooning, sweetheart. You in the middle on your side.”

“We can do that. What do you think, Bucky?” she asks. Bucky grins.

“I’d love to, baby. Come on, let’s head upstairs,” Bucky says rubbing her back.

The three of them head up the stairs and into her room.

 

**_Chapter_ **

“Get your stuff. There’s a bathroom in here and the one in the hall,” Shaye says as they walk into the bedroom.

“Why don’t you get ready first, baby. We can either wait or one of us can use the bathroom in the hall,” Bucky suggests. Steve’s already digging through his bag.

“Go on, sweetheart, go get ready,” Steve says with a smile.

“There’s towels under the sink in that bathroom. And washcloths.”

“Are you taking a shower tonight, baby?”

“Yeah,” she says and stretches. “Why?”

She sees Steve do the patented lift and shift and pretend to still go through his bag. She looks at Bucky who has his hands behind his head and is looking at her. She drops her eyes to his crotch and back up. He grins. He’s hard. She’s willing to be Steve is, too. After sitting on Steve’s lap earlier her panties were damp and that ache in her has only intensified. She looks over at Steve who is clearly uncomfortable and tugging on the crotch of his jeans.

She hasn’t gotten laid in almost two years. Now there are two guys here, and goddammit she’s so motherfucking horny…

She pulls her shirt over her head and drops it to the floor.

“Shaye?” Steve says softly, his voice barely a whisper.

“Baby?” Bucky asks, his grin getting bigger.

“I’m getting in the shower. You can join me if you want,” she says taking off her jeans. Bucky is already out of his shirt and working on his belt. Steve’s stripping so fast he’s going to rip his clothes. She’s left with nothing but a bra and panties. Steve and Bucky are now down to their boxers, both of them rock hard. She runs her hands down to her panties and smiles at them.

“Shower time,” she says. They both block her path.

“In your bra and panties, Shaye?” Steve purrs. He runs his finger under her bra strap and down over the cup of the bra. She sees his cock twitch in his boxers, the precum is soaking through now. Bucky runs his fingers over her hip to her thigh and then under her panties. He gives them a hard tug. Shaye looks up at him. His blue eyes burn with desire. She takes his hand and runs it over her heat, moaning softly at his touch. Steve’s already removing her bra, his hands immediatly going to her breasts to squeeze and knead them. Bucky slides his fingers into her panties again and this time runs his fingers over her slick opening.

“Goddammit,” he growls. He pulls his hand free and sheds his boxers then goes to work on pulling her panties off. She takes one of Steve’s hands and guides him between her legs. Steve dips his fingers in her and she feels her knees shake a bit. She pulls his hand free and licks his fingers.

“It’s on now, beautiful,” he purrs. He strips out of his boxers. Shaye sinks to her knees and cups Bucky’s balls and licks from the bottom of his shaft to the head. He plants his hands on her shoulders and whines as her tongue circles him. Steve is stroking himself so she moves to him next, doing the same thing and then swallowing as much of him as she can.

“On the bed, baby,” Bucky orders when she removes her mouth from Steve.

“Where?” she asks, intrigued as to what they plan on doing. Bucky looks at Steve and motions to the bed. Steve lays on his back.

“Between his legs, baby. Keep that hot fucking mouth of yours on him. I want access to your pussy,” Bucky says. She climbs between Steve’s legs and smiles. He moans loudly when she licks him again. She feels Bucky behind her, lifting her so she’s on her knees, spreading her legs and running his fingers along her heat. She moans.

“Bucky...don’t tease,” she tells him.

“No teasing, baby. Focus on him,” he states. She feels his fingers running along her again, then over her clit where he toys with her that much more. She swallows Steve again and he writhes beneath her as he moans her name. Bucky is now fingering her, toying with her as she sucks on Steve. Each time he slips his fingers inside her she moans, her lips vibrate on Steve and he grabs fistfuls of the quilt. She’s dying to have him inside her.

“You’re dripping, baby,” he purrs in her ear. “So very wet.”

She growls at him. Steve has his hand on the back of her head suddenly, his body tensing and she feels the explosion hit the back of her throat as he groans. There’s so much she has to swallow a couple of different times.

“Holy shit,” Steve pants. Shaye still has her mouth on him and slowly comes back up, enjoying the twitching and whining Steve is doing.

“What about you?” she asks Bucky and then licks Steve’s sensitive head for good measure. He jumps and groans. She looks over her shoulder and Bucky has his thick cock in his hand.

“See if you can get Steve off again, baby, while I see if I can get you off.”

“Was that a challenge?” she asks. Steve removes his hands from his eyes.

“Are you up for that, Shaye? I mean...goddamn beautiful….” Steve says with a grin. She goes back down on Steve and he arches up almost choking her while moaning. She nips at him a bit, he jumps and yelps. She can hear Bucky laughing.

“Stop trying to choke her, numbnut,” Bucky says stroking Shaye’s thighs.

“Piss off,” Steve growls and then moans when she tugs on his sack. “Oh, god, Shaye…”

Bucky runs his fingers outside her heat and then she feels his cock rubbing against her. It’s too much. She needs him inside her. She lets go of Steve and thrusts back against Bucky trying to get him inside her.

“Bucky,” she moans. Bucky enters her slowly then thrusts hard and deep into her. She moans loudly and clamps her eyes shut.

“Goddamn…” Bucky moans. “Shaye…”

He thrusts again, latching onto her hips. She looks over her shoulder at him. He’s panting, but he looks at her and gives her that devilsh grin. He thrusts into her again and she moans his name. Steve has his hands on her tits and has moved so he can lick and suck on them, adding to her need.

“Harder, Buck,” she pleads. He grunts and pushes harder into her, deeper. She can feel that orgasm building like a tsunami.

Steve is now down to one hand to toy with her breasts, the other he’s stroking himself.

“Give it to me, baby. I want to feel you come,” Bucky growls in her ear.

“ _James!_ ” she screams as the wave breaks. Bucky has to hold onto her hips because she collapses on Steve.

He thrusts a few more times into her and she hears him growl, his body connecting hard with hers one last time.

“Oh god,” she pants, resting her head on Steve’s shoulder. He rubs her neck and kisses her temple. Bucky still has her hips and his kneading them softly. She feels him pull out and there’s an audible popping sound as he does.

“Jesus Christ,” he moans. “Goddamn, baby…”

“That bad?” she mumbles.

“Hell no,” Steve assures her.

“That good, baby. That good,” Bucky says rubbing her ass. He smacks her lightly and lays down next to Steve on the bed. She rests her head so she can see him. Steve is still rubbing her neck as she kisses his jaw and he grunts and kisses her head. Bucky reaches over and caresses her face.

“Want to get in the shower with us, baby?” he asks with that mischievous grin.

 

**_Chapter_ **

Shaye, Bucky and Steve stand in the bathroom looking at the shower. It’s too small for all three of them. Two of them would be highly uncomfortable as it is.

“What do you think?” she asks. Bucky is leaned against the sink and Steve is next to Shaye looking at the tub.

“Not with all three of us, baby. Looks like it’ll be one at a time,” Bucky says with a sigh.

“Note to self, get a place with a walk in shower that fits three,” Steve mumbles. Shaye laughs.

“You want to go first, Bucky? One of us can use the shower in the other bathroom.”

“Hot water issues?” Bucky asks. Shaye purses her lips.

“Gonna happen regardless,” she says after a few moments consideration. “I’ll go last so you two have enough hot water.”

“Shaye,” Steve protests.

“Stop. You’re guests. Either he goes first or you do. You can argue amongst yourselves if you want, but I’ll go last.”

Steve sighs heavily and shakes his head.

“She’s not taking no for an answer,” Bucky says with a big grin.

“Go first, Buck,” Steve says giving up and walking out of the bathroom.

“Moody,” Shaye mumbles and Bucky laughs.

“He wants you to be comfortable, baby, that’s all. So do I. The difference is that I know you’re not going to back down and I don’t want to argue.”

“And he does?” she asks. Bucky looks into the bedroom. Shaye follows his gaze. Steve is laid on his back on the bed looking up at the ceiling.

“No. He doesn’t want to disappoint you or upset you.”

“She hurt him.”

“He wasn’t her type and she certainly wasn’t his. It was nobody’s fault, but he took it hard just the same.”

“Bucky...is this a rebound for him? Honestly -”

“No, baby. If you could see how he lights up when I say your name...we both are very attracted and attached to you. You’re a rare one, baby. A good girl.”

“I’m no angel, Buck.”

“I was witness to that,” he jokes. She shoots him a cold look.

“Ass.”

“I don’t want an angel and he sure as hell doesn’t need one. He’d have no sex life at all. He needs someone like you. I need someone like you. Someone who can handle both sides.”

Shaye nods her head. Bucky runs his fingers through her hair and kisses her softly.

“Get in the shower, handsome. We’ll be waiting,” she says and kisses his nose. He grins and she heads into the bedroom.

She sits next to Steve and rubs his chest.

“Is he finally getting in the shower?” Steve asks, rolling onto his side.

“Yup,” she says running her fingers over his thigh. He takes that as a hint and strokes her inner thigh.

“Don’t start something you don’t intend to finish, Captain.”

He sits up, eyes wide at the challenge. He leans against her, pressing the weight of his body onto her, forcing her onto her back. He kisses her hard, his tongue battling hers as he settles on top of her. She can feel his cock shifting between her legs.

“I intend to make you finish,” he says in a seductively low voice. He props himself up on one arm and runs his fingers between her legs. He dips inside her, she moans and he smiles.

“No wonder you had Bucky go crazy,” he says in that same voice. He guides himself inside her and she arches up into him. He kisses her again, pumping into her long and deep. He moves from her mouth to suck on her breasts. She grips his shoulders, grinding up into him for more. He obliges and thrusts faster.

“Steve...Steve...oh god…” she moans. He gives her a pleased grunt and quickens his pace that much more. She arches up hard, connecting with him and driving him even deeper to the point it’s almost painful. She locks her legs around him, holding him inside her as her body quivers. She hears him groan, his head dropping down as his body stiffens. He slowly relaxes while her legs still shake a little.

“How was it?” he asks looking into her eyes. She’s surprised by this question. She reaches for his face and smiles.

“My legs are still shaking a little. I’d say it was pretty damn good.”

He smiles now, pleased with her response. He lowers his head again and kisses her neck and jaw. He pulls out of her slowly and rests himself on top of her.

“Come back to New York with us, Shaye,” he says suddenly.

“Steve…”

“Just to look around. Stay with Bucky and I. I’ll give you my key. If we get called away, you still have a place to stay. You can look for jobs where ever  you want while you’re there - preferably in New York - but where ever and we can take you sightseeing.”

“Did I miss something?” Bucky asks emerging from the bathroom. Steve doesn’t move. She runs her fingers over his shoulders and he sighs.

“I asked her to come back with us. See if you can convince her,” he says. He kisses Shaye on the lips again and pushes himself up. Bucky skews an eyebrow at him, Steve nods his head and disappears into the bathroom. Shaye sits up and realizes she’s leaving a lagoon on the bed.

“Grab a towel for me, please,” she says to Bucky. Bucky takes the one he has on off and hands it to her.

“Fun and games with Steve?” he asks playfully as he watches her sit on the towel and try to mop up a little.

“Fun and games with Steve,” she replies with a grin. He nods. She raises her eyes just enough to see he’s back at full attention again. She’s not going to be able to walk tomorrow.

“Are you up for any more fun and games, baby?”

“Are you up for something other than missionary?”

“He’s still learning.”

“We all should still be learning, Buck,” she says and smiles wickedly. He pounces on her and she laughs.

 

**_Chapter_ **

Bucky has Shaye all to himself for the moment and he’s not going to waste time. He goes after her plump breasts first, sucking, kneading, and nipping at her. She moans loudly. He loves the sound, it drives him wild. He pulls her to the end of the bed and drops to his knees.

“Buck...no...Steve…”

He doesn’t give a shit. He wants to taste her. He’s mixed in there, too. He licks her clit and she writhes and gasps, pulling at the quilt till it’s balled up in her fists. Sweet and salty, just like he’d figured. He licks at her again, running his fingers just inside her enough to make her squirm.

“You’re an asshole,” she growls at him. He grins.

“Just learning the lay of the land, baby. I need to know what excites my girl,” he tells her. He runs his fingers a little deeper, she squeezes her legs shut on his hand. She’s tight.

“You want to learn, huh?” she asks sitting up and scooting back. He tilts his head in dismay.

“Why’d you move?”

She beckons him to the bed. He crawls onto the bed and starts to crawl on top of her when she pushes him over on his back. She straddles him, grinding her sweet juices over his cock and down over his balls. He moans and reaches for her breasts, pinching the nipples till she gasps. She gives him that mischievous grin and lifts herself to let him inside her. The feel of her tight pussy on his cock is intense. She was tight before, but after taking he and Steve she’s a whole new level. She leans back and lifts up and then rocks forward and down, doing the motions slowly and deliberately to drive him mad. He grabs her hips and tries to force her into a faster motion, but she stops altogether and shakes her head no.

“You wanted to know what I learned?”

“I do,” he moans. “Show me, babydoll.”

She gives him a pleased smile, starts her slow motion rocking again on him and grabs her breasts, squeezing them till he can see finger marks. He’s so goddamn turned on by her…

She goes to a whole new level by sliding her right hand to the V of her legs as her speed picks up on him and she rubs her clit, moaning his name as her tempo increases again. He can only watch as she uses his cock and her fingers to get herself off. He’s going to come regardless, he can feel it building rapidly.

He grabs her hips, her movements getting faster, she’s bouncing harder on him, making them both moan. Her fingers are a blur on her clit.  His balls draw up just as he feels her knees dig into him and her legs shake. She cries out, dropping her hands to his abs to hold herself steady. He thrusts up into her to finish.

“Sweet Christ,” he moans, his own legs shaking from the force of his orgasm this time. She’s still hunched over, panting, hands still firmly planted on his abs.

“I don’t think I’m going to be able to walk tomorrow.”

“I will fucking carry you, baby. Or I will wait on you hand and foot till you can,” he promises. She giggles and looks up finally. He can tell she’s spent. Her legs are still quivering involuntarily.

“If I had known I’d meet two great guys who were such fantastic lays I’d have come to New York sooner,” she jokes. He smiles and runs his hands up and down her hips.

“Timing is everything, baby. Come back to New York with Steve and me. I promise you, Shaye, it’ll be worth it. We’ll do anything you want. Get you anything you want -”

“Stop,” she says putting her finger to his lips. He can smell her sweet juices and his cock stirs inside her. She moans and leans back.

“Will you think about it?” he asks, grinding up ever so slightly against her. Her hands go back to his abs, she drops forward, still moaning.

“You don’t play fair,” she complains.

“No?” he asks thrusting up a bit more. The low, animalistic growl comes out of her. Christ on a crutch…

“No,” she moans.

“Will you consider coming back with us?” he asks, pulling her forward a little so her clit rubs against him. She stares at him, her grey eyes full of lust.

“No.”

“Hmm…” he says taking his left hand and flicking lightly at her clit.

“James!” she yells. He feels the walls of her pussy clench on him and he moans himself.

“What about now?” he asks.

“No,” she says defiantly. He nods. He knows how cold the metal is on his left hand and arm. He touches her clit, circles it slowly. She instantly grabs her breasts and starts rocking on him, head back, eyes closed, and moaning his name.

“Now?”

“Bucky…”

He ruts into her hard, working his fingers on his left hand faster while his right sneaks around to her ass. He finds what he’s looking for, sinking his fingers into her. She screams his name this time and he feels her pussy tighten and contract on him, pulling him in deeper.

“Shit,” he barks as he comes yet again.

“What the hell are you doing to her?” Steve demands coming out of the bathroom. Shaye is barely upright at this point. He pulls her down so she can lay on top of him. She slides off of his cock and he can feel their juices pooling on him now.

“Trying to convince her to come with us to New York. Like you asked,” Bucky replies. He puts his arm around her and rubs her back. She’s still panting. He knows she’s going to be sore after all of this.

“By making her scream your name?” Steve asks sitting next to them.

“He’s an asshole,” Shaye mutters.

“He knows,” Steve says and then laughs. He puts his hand on her back and rubs down to her ass. Bucky can see he’s mesmerized by her curves and the softness of her skin.

“What’s your answer, baby?” Bucky asks playfully. She sits up and looks at him bemusedly. Then she looks at Steve.

“Even if I look for jobs in California?” she asks. Bucky’s smile vanishes. She skews an eyebrow at him.

“There’s nothing in California, sweetheart,” Steve says gently. Bucky sees him take her hand and kiss her wrist. He catches her scent on her fingers, too.

“I missed something?” he asks and kisses her fingers.

“A little,” she says and smiles. “Nothing that can’t be repeated when I get feeling back in my hips and legs.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” he says kissing her fingers again.

“We’re going to need a goddamn mop in here if you two keep this up,” she tells him.

“Mops are easy enough to come by,” Bucky tells her.

“You never answered my question,” she says looking at him.

“Steve did.”

“There’s nothing in California,” Steve says again. Bucky can see that look in Steve’s eyes. Shaye sees it too. He wants to tell Steve to give her a break, but it’s not his place. She has to say when she’s had enough. He wonders if there’s a little nympho in her or if it’s just been that long since she’s gotten any good dick that she’s as horny as they are.

Bucky sees Steve looking at him, but he can’t make out what Steve’s thinking. He’s certain that it has something to do with Shaye and fucking her.

“One more round, beautiful? This time maybe he and I find out how sweet you taste.”

“You don’t want to go down there - goddammit, you’re as bad as he is!” she says and then laughs.

“I’m going to tell you right now, man, you aren’t the only one whose seed is in there...oh shit…”

Everything stops and the boys look at Shaye in a mix of fear and concern.

“Relax. I’m on birth control to regulate my goddamn periods.”

“They put you on the pill to regulate you?” Bucky asks confused.

“Why?” Steve asks.

“You don’t want to know about this, guys,” she says, shutting herself down.

“No, we do. What’s going on that they have to regulate them, Shaye?” Steve asks, his voice full of concern. She folds her arms over her chest to cover herself. Bucky pulls her arms free and holds her hands. Steve moves closer and runs his finger through her hair. If something is going on with their girl they need to know. If it’s something that they can take her to Bruce to remedy they will damn sure see it’s done.

 

**_Chapter_ **

Shaye is still straddling Bucky as he and Steve hound her with questions about her period. She should have kept her fool mouth shut. Goddammit.

“Why would they put you on birth control to regulate your cycle, sweetheart?” Steve asks again. She can hear how worried he is. Both of them are looking at her intently, both petting her and rubbing various sections of her arms, legs and back.

“They’re a nightmare,” she say not looking at either of them now. “Cramps that keep me doubled over, ridiculously heavy flows, coming back to back in less than twenty-eight days, not showing up for three months at a time…”

She can see the guys exchange glances out of her periferal.

“And this is the solution? Put you on hormone therapy?” Bucky asks.

“Least invasive. They won’t consider a hysterectomy because I’m too young and a man may want to breed me,” she says sarcastically.

“You don’t want kids?” Steve asks innocently.

“Steve,” Bucky hisses. “Baby...does it help?”

She looks up at Bucky.

“Seems to. And, Steve, I eventually want kids. Maybe. I never thought about it much,” she tells him.

“I was out of line,” Steve says apologetically.

“No. That seems to be the natural male response,” she says joking a little to try and get them to move away from the topic. Based on their faces, neither of them are having it.

“We have a doctor in New York...a great one...I want you to see him, Shaye,” Steve says.

“Bruce Banner,” Bucky adds. “He’s a good man. He’s one of ours. We just want to make sure there’s nothing else happening that needs to be addressed.”

She’s more than a little surprised by their statements.

“Guys, this is just something some chicks deal with. I’m one of the lucky ones, I guess. It’s under control.”

“How long till your health insurance runs out and how much do the pills cost?” Steve asks, taking her chin and making her look at him. She had not considered that when she got fired.

“We’ll cover it. But I want you to see Bruce -” Bucky begins.

“No. Jesus Christ. I can take care of myself. I’m not your goddamn responsibility,” she argues.

“Neither of us said you couldn’t take care of yourself, Shaye,” Steve says firmly. “That doesn’t change the fact that we care about you and we want to make sure you’re healthy.”

“We can add you to our insurance,” Bucky says.

“No you can’t. We aren’t married -”

“Bullshit,” Bucky says waving away her statement. “I read that horseshit insurance paperwork one day. They use the term partner and significant other interchangeably and it’s used separately from the word spouse. Either he can add you or I can.”

“I’d have to be living with you.”

The guys sigh heavily. This is going to be a battle, she can tell that already.

“We’ll work something out with legal,” Steve says after a few moments. “It won’t be easy and they’re going to want all of your information. Are you willing to divulge that to us?”

“You don’t even know me,” she says still protesting all this. This is insane. “What...why? Just why?”

“Because we can. Because Steve and I _want_ to do this. Because we care about you. Neither of us want to see you hurt or sick,” Bucky says calmly.

“Especially if it’s something we can have taken care of. Something we can help with. You take care of us -”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Steve. I snuggled the two of you while you napped, made you dinner and we fucked,” she grouses. Bucky laughs.

“Yeah, and you did all of that very well and you didn’t have to do any of it. Right?” Steve counters.

“He’s got you there, baby,” Bucky says and grins.

“Goddammit.”

“Can we try, Shaye? You’ll come to New York, we’ll take you to see Bruce -”

“Who’s going to do a pelvic exam and look at my vag,” she cuts in. The guys pucker their lips. Obviously, they don’t know what their asking for.

“Are they that bad?” Bucky asks.

“I can pull up YouTube and you can watch,” she offers. Steve shakes his head no. Bucky still seems curious.

“Steve, can you grab my phone off the nightstand?” she asks. Steve gets up and gets her phone. She pulls up the YouTube app and does a search for pelvic exam. She finds one, presses play and hands Bucky the phone. Steve sits down and watches. She’s guessing more out of morbid curiosity than not.

Both guys don’t look thrilled as the video ends.

“They do this yearly?” Bucky asks.

“Unless there’s an issue like an abnormal pap smear or you see a new doctor in a new area…”

“I can’t say I blame you for not wanting it done,” Steve acquiesces. “But if it’s a necessity…”

Shaye sighs. She’d hoped showing them the video would gross them out enough they’d let this go. No such luck.

“Listen, baby, we aren’t doing this just to fight with you or to make you miserable or make you uncomfortable. We want you to be healthy. We want you to be around for a very long time. We want to take care of you, Shaye. There’s no hidden agenda here.”

“Buck’s right. We’re not looking for anything more than keeping you safe and healthy and happy, sweetheart.”

“Except moving to New York and moving in with the two of you,” she corrects them.

“That’s a sidebar to this conversation right now,” Steve states.

“You two really want to do this?”

“Getting you a second opinion to make sure the pill is the right answer here? Hell yes,” Bucky says.

She chews her lip. When she finds another job they’ll offer her benefits usually within ninety days. She can’t afford the COBRA policy her old job will throw at her, and this insurance will run out in thirty days from her termination. She should have another job by then, right?

“You don’t need to put me on your insurance. You don’t need to get your friend Bruce involved...that’s just too fucking weird….three Avengers will know what my vag looks like instead of two.”

“Yeah, but we’re the only two that will be admiring it from personal standpoints. Bruce is strictly professional,” Bucky says with a hint of friskiness. Steve rolls his eyes. Shaye smiles, which she knows was what he wanted.

“You’re an asshole,” she tells him. He shrugs.

“I hear that all the time from him,” he says jerking his thumb at Steve.

“He just refuses to believe me,” Steve says and gives her a warm smile. “What do you say, beautiful?”

“If I agree to come up there and do this...there’s no crap about only looking in New York, about moving up there, or about me deciding which doctor to listen to - mine or yours.”

She’s laid the ground rules, now we’ll see if they’re agreeable or not.

“Alright,” Bucky says after a moment. “Alright.”

“Fair enough, beautiful. But that means you can’t fuss if we keep looking for three bedroom apartments,” Steve says and smiles ruefully.

“Wait a damn minute,” she says getting ready to fight him on that.

“Nope,” Bucky says stopping her, “this is how compromise works.”

“Son of a bitch,” she grumbles. They got her. They’re both overly pleased with the outcome, though.  

“We’ll make this work, Shaye,” Steve promises.

“You’ll see,” Bucky agrees. She nods her head.

“I need to get in the shower. Bucky’s going to need to shower again, too,” she says sliding off of Bucky.

“Yeah. But that’ll wait till tomorrow,” he says wiping himself off with the towel.

“How are your legs, Shaye,” Steve asks helping her up from the bed.

“Wobbly. I’m alright,” she says truthfully. Steve kisses her and then cups her face in his hands.

“You won’t regret this, sweetheart,” he promises and kisses her again.

“Let her take a shower, punk,” Bucky says snapping the towel at Steve. Shaye laughs and heads to the bathroom.

 

**_Chapter_ **

Steve pulls on his shorts while Bucky finishes cleaning himself off.

“She’s something,” Bucky muses as he finishes up. “Goddamn. Thank god for horrible taxi drivers.”

“And random trips to New York,” Steve adds. “Do you think she’s telling us everything about why she’s on the pill?”

“Don’t know,” Bucky answers. “Maybe. She’s not open about personal stuff like that it seems.”

“No. That’s her trust issues coming out,” Steve states. “We’ve got to work on showing her we can be trusted.”

“Getting her to New York is the first step, kid. Once we get her there and Bruce makes sure she’s okay we can work on showing her we’re not fucking around.”

“While she’s doing her interview tomorrow, I’m going to call the guy who owns our building and see if he has anything that’s three bedrooms or if he knows anyone that does.”

Bucky nods in agreement.

“One of us is going to have to get a bigger bed for our current place. Or both of us. Actually….” Bucky says grabbing his phone from his bag. Steve watches him search for something.

“Find what you’re looking for?” Steve asks after a moment. Bucky puts his phone down and pulls on his own shorts. Steve is eternally grateful. Seeing him naked along with Shaye is one thing. Without Shaye it’s too weird.

“Are we definitely going home tomorrow?” Bucky asks going back to his phone.

“We can try. That’s up to her.”

“This place has same day delivery. We find out, confirm for tomorrow, get the tickets -”

“Order the beds. She can pick which room she wants to sleep in,” Steve finishes. “That’s if she agrees to go back tomorrow. We can’t force her, Buck.”

“I know. I’m not trying to force her, Steve. I just want her to see how things will be up there with us and the sooner we get her up there, the better.”

“What did you do to her, Buck?” Steve asks after a few moments, his curiosity at how Buck got her to scream his proper name getting the better of him. Bucky grins.

“How was your first blow job?”

“Holy shit, Buck…” Steve laughs. “She’s amazing.”

“She is. She’s ours. We need to keep it this way, kid. I didn’t think I’d be able to talk to a dame again, much less do any of this,” Bucky confesses.

“I know, Buck. It’s nice to be seen as a person and not something else.”

 

**_Chapter_ **

Shaye steps out of the shower shivering. That hot water heater is too goddamn small for more than one person. She’s freezing now. She grabs a towel and wraps it around herself in a vain attempt to preserve some body heat. She can hear the boys talking even over the sound of her teeth chattering.

She gets closer to the door, tilts her head and listens. They’re talking about getting bigger beds, looking for a three bedroom - even though she has not agreed to moving in with them and...Bucky just asked Steve how is first blow job was. She has to bite her tongue to keep from laughing out loud. She wraps a towel around her head and opens the door.

Steve and Bucky are in their shorts, one on each side of the bed. Bucky is playing on his phone and Steve is channel surfing. They both smile brightly when they see her.

“You okay, doll?” Bucky asks as he puts the phone down. He and Steve slide from the bed an approach her.

“Freezing and a little sore, but none the worse for the wear,” she answers.

“Do you want something to drink? I’m parched, sweetheart -”

“Let me get dressed and I’ll grab you something,” she says quickly.

“I’ve got it. You’re shivering, there was no hot water left for you,” Steve says apologetically. Bucky puts his hands on her arms and rubs them slowly.

“This place isn’t designed for more than one hot shower every few hours, babe. It’s alright,” she promises. He gives her a disbelieving look.

“What’s to drink?” Bucky asks softly.

“Bottled water, juice….”

“Water is fine. Do you want anything, Shaye? Buck?” Steve asks.

“Water,” they reply together. Steve grins, runs his fingers along her cheekbone and heads downstairs.

“Can I ask you something, Shaye?” Bucky says in that same soft tone. She turns to face him, teeth still chattering. He grins, but only a little.

“Fire away.”

“Where are your clothes, baby? Get dressed.”

“That was your question?”

“No, wiseass,” he says, his grin getting a little bigger, “but you’re freezing.”

She nods her head in agreement and grabs a tank top and a pair of panties from her dresser. Bucky sits on the edge of the bed and watches her get dressed.

“Are you going to ask?” she questions as she pulls the towel from her head and runs her fingers through her hair.

“This is going to sound stupid…” He’s hesitating. What the hell could he possibly want to know?

“Bucky, go ahead and ask,” she says gently.

“Will you let me brush your hair?”

She’s more than a little surprised by the request.

“Really?”

He looks away and laughs nervously.

“It’s just...it’s…” he trails off. He’s still looking at the floor. She heads to the bathroom and comes back with her brush. He lights up when she hands it to him.

“Seriously?” he asks.

“Yeah.”

“Come here, baby,” he says pulling her onto the bed and than scooting them both back towards the pillows. She sits between his legs and he starts brushing. She’s further surprised by how goddamn gentle he is. There’s no pulling or yanking.

“This is new,” Steve says walking into the bedroom.

“Not really,” Bucky tells him. Shaye closes her eyes.

“No?” Steve asks. She can feel him getting on the bed, the mattress and boxspring clearly not used to this much mass on it.

“She likes having her hair played with. It’s relaxing,” Bucky explains.

“You have no idea,” Shaye agrees. She hears Steve chuckle.

“I can see that, sweetheart. He looks as content as you do.”

Bucky stops brushing. She opens her eyes and looks at Steve.

“Don’t stop. Please,” she says. The brushing starts up again.

“Buck…”

“I never told you about this, Steve, partly because I had that image to maintain with you and partly because it was so rare to find a dame back then who’d let you do this and I just didn’t think it’d be something you’d want to hear about,” Bucky says in a very low voice.

“You look relaxed,” Steve says gently.

“It’s calming.”

Shaye opens her eyes and she can see Steve’s coming to a realization about something. He looks at her and smiles warmly.

“It’s calming,” she concurs and closes her eyes again.

“The last time I did this was in ‘41.”

“Who was she?” Steve asks.

“I’m down for hearing about old girlfriends,” Shaye says jokingly.

“See what you did?” Bucky grumbles.

“I’ve made a critical error,” Steve says cynically and laughs.

“You’re an ass,” she tells him. Bucky laughs now.

“We don’t have to go into it, doll -”

“It’s alright. I’m curious,” she says.

“Her name was Grace.”

“Grace…,” Steve repeats. “Doesn’t ring a bell.”

“She had long red hair that she had pinned up in those curls…”

“Victory rolls?” Shaye asks.

“Those. How do you know about that?” he asks sounding surprised.

“Ask me again when you’re done with your tale of the red head.”

“You’re a shit, doll,” he laughs. “We had spent the day at the beach and she wanted to go back to her place to get fresh clothes. I waited for what seemed like a damn eternity for her to finish up and when she came into the sitting room she was brushing her hair. It just struck me to ask her if she’d let me do it. She seemed doubtful, but…”

“The James Barnes Charm,” Steve laughs.

“The James Barnes Charm,” Shaye repeats and opens her eyes again.

“I will beat you with this hairbrush,” Bucky threatens Steve.

“He may like it. He hasn’t found his kink yet,” Shaye warns. Bucky loses it and bellows laughter.

“The hell with both of you,” Steve grouses. Shaye pats Steve’s leg and smiles sweetly.

“Don’t be mad,” she tells him. He smiles a bit.

“Find my kink. Alright, assholes,” he mumbles and then smiles more because Shaye and Bucky are looking at him oddly.

“I’m scared.”

“Me, too, baby. So...she let me brush her hair,” Bucky says picking up the tale. “It was great. She liked it, and I was actually relaxed by it.”

“Why haven’t you done it since then?” Shaye asks. He’s starting to put her to sleep with the hairbrushing.

“Different reasons. Dames didn’t want their perfectly coiffed hair messed with mostly...and other things,” he says quietly. Shaye can hear the pain in his voice at the end. It’s minute, but it’s there. His history is unknown, unlike Steve’s which is on display.

“It looks like we found someone who likes it,” Steve says.

“I’m glad you do, baby,” Bucky whispers in her ear. “Thank you.”

“All I’m doing is sitting here enjoying myself.”

“And falling asleep,” Steve teases.

“That, too.”

“Tell me about the victory rolls, baby,” Bucky says. He stops brushing and she growls at him. Steve laughs.

“Hand me my phone, Steve, please,” she says pointing to the nightstand closest to him. He reaches over and grabs it, then hands it to her. She finds what she’s looking for but then locks the screen when she feels Bucky peering over her shoulder.

“Nope. I’ll show you if you keep brushing.”

“You’ve created a monster, Buck.”

“Seems so. Fair enough, baby,” he laughs and goes back to brushing. She unlocks her screen and hands Steve the phone.

“Swipe right to move to the next picture,” she instructs. She closes her eyes again as Bucky continues to brush her hair.

“What was this? It looks like a New Years Eve thing?” Steve asks.

“It was. A bunch of us wanted to celebrate and this place in Lancaster had this 1940’s themed celebration. You didn’t have to dress up from that era, but if you did you got special VIP treatment. So we did.”

Bucky stops brushing again. She’s guessing he’s looking at the phone now, too. She sighs and he puts his arm around her and pulls her back against his chest. Steve moves closer so the three of them can look at the phone together.

“Look at you, sweetheart,” Steve muses, a huge smile on his face.

“Damn, baby. Who’s the guy on your arm?”

“The one in the uniform?”

“That one,” Bucky confirms.

“No earthly idea. I have a sweet spot for guys in uniform. He asked me to dance a few times so we did.”

“Is that...that’s not a real uniform,” Bucky says taking the phone from Steve and scrutinizing the picture.

“There’s army surplus stores all over the place. You can pick up all kinds of crazy shit. It may have been a costume. He may have had a family member who served and let him borrow it. Who knows.”

Bucky gives Steve the phone again so he can hold it for the three of them. Shaye sees Bucky pick up the brush and slides forward just a bit. He goes back to gently brushing her hair and her eyes close.

She feels arms around her and she snaps awake.

“Easy, beautiful. It’s alright. You were leaning a little too far forward,” Steve says gently. She rubs her eyes and sighs.

“Come on, baby, I’m spent and I know you are, too. Let’s go to bed,” Bucky says. He’s rubbing her shoulders which only makes the struggle to keep her eyes open more difficult. She shimmies under the covers in between them and drops her head on the pillow.

“Alexa, turn off the bedroom light,” she mumbles. The lights go off.

“Nice,” she hears Steve say. He rolls to his side and she spoons behind him, curling up against his back. Bucky drapes his arm over her and pulls himself till he’s tight up against her.

“Night, baby,” Bucky whispers.

“Night, beautiful,” Steve says softly. Shaye mumbles something and the world goes dark.

 

**_Chapter_ **

Shaye wakes up to a dark room and the deep, rhythmic breathing of Steve. Just Steve. She’s still curled up against him, so she rolls over looking for Bucky thinking he’s about to fall off the bed. He’s not there. He’s not in bed with them.

She’s wide awake now. Did he get sick? Couldn’t he sleep? She slides from the bed slowly and carefully in an effort to not wake Steve. She creeps out of the room silently. There are no lights showing on in either the spare bedroom or the bathroom in the hall. The bathroom in her room was dark, too. Where the hell could he be?

She heads down the stairs and as she nears the bottom she can see a faint light from a cell phone. He’s on the couch, on his phone.

“Bucky?”

He jumps up from the couch, clearly startled.

“Shaye…”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you, honey,” she says extending her hands to him.

“It’s alright. Did I wake you?” he asks taking her hand and pulling her close.

“No, I woke up and you weren’t there. Are you okay? Are you sick?”

“I have trouble sleeping, baby,” he says heavily and sits back down on the couch. He tugs on her hand to coax her to sit next to him.

“Nightmares?” she asks taking a guess. “Or insomnia?”

“Both.”

He’s visibly upset. She puts her arms around him and pulls his head to her chest. He wraps his arms around her and holds her tight. He’s breathing fast and the muscles in his back are like stone.

“Do you want to take about it, honey?” She speaks softly, cradling him in her arms and occasionally stroking his hair. She feels him shake his head no.

“I don’t want you to hate me.”

“Why would I hate you?” Shaye is confused and alarmed by his statement.

He doesn’t answer. Instead he holds her that much tighter, his fingers kneading her sides. She recognizes that as a calming mechanism. Jimmy has PTSD from the Iraq war...Kate had told Shaye about what Jimmy had gone through over there and had scared the hell out of Shaye. Bucky has survived since the second world war. His arm is metal. He’s an Avenger. He’s practically the poster child for this. That’s why brushing her hair was so relaxing. That explains the look on Steve’s face - of course he would know Bucky’s issues. That explains Bucky’s seeming lack of self confidence - according to he and Steve - about approaching other women.

And if Bucky has it odds are that Steve has PTSD of some form, as well. They had both chosen her and she doesn’t know if she’s capable of handling one let alone both.

She looks down at Bucky who is still cradled in her arms. He’s scared.

“It’s alright, honey. It’s okay,” she whispers. She slowly rocks him back and forth, keeping one arm firmly around while rubbing his back with her free hand.

“Buck? Shaye?”

She can just make out Steve’s outline on the stairs.

“On the couch, baby,” she calls. “Alexa, turn on the TV,” she orders. She doesn’t want the bright lights on and the TV will illuminate the room enough they can see without tripping over each other of the furniture.

“Oh shit,” Steve sighs. “Buck...easy, man,” he says sitting on the edge of the coffee table. He puts his hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “How long has he been down here?”

“I don’t know. I woke up and he was gone. I found him down here about ten minutes ago.”

“Buck.”

“I’m alright,” Bucky finally responds. Even in the dim glow of the TV she can tell by the look on Steve’s face he isn’t buying that. Steve sighs heavily and squeezes Bucky’s shoulder.

“Will you get him a drink? Get him a shot of Jack or bring him some water?” Shaye asks Steve. Steve gets up, kisses her head and goes to the kitchen.

Shaye continues to cradle Bucky in her arms. His grip has loosened a bit, but he’s still kneading her sides. Steve comes back with a glass of juice and a mug. She can smell the Jack Daniels in the mug as soon as he sits back down on the coffee table.

“Bucky, take a drink,” Steve tells him. Bucky is slow to respond. He eventually turns his head to look at Steve. Steve cocks his head to the side and shoves the mug at him.

“Did you fill the mug?” Shaye asks.

“No, double shot.”

Bucky reaches for the mug and sits up just enough to down the contents in one gulp. He leans back against Shaye and exhales shakily.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky mumbles.

“For what?” Steve asks. There’s no response. Shaye looks at Steve who is shaking his head.

“Will you drink some of the juice Steve brought you, honey?” she asks. She takes the mug from Bucky’s hand and gives it to Steve. Steve hands him the glass. Bucky takes a few sips and hands it back.

“Thank you,” Bucky says softly.

“Are you good, Buck?” Steve asks.

“I’ll be alright.”

Shaye looks at Steve and then down at Bucky.

“Do you want to come back to bed?” she asks.

“I do, but I won’t sleep. I don’t want to keep you awake,” he says reaching for the glass Steve has. Steve gives it to him and Bucky chugs the rest.

“I’m not leaving you down here by yourself. I’ll sit with you or we can all go upstairs and cuddle on the bed like we’ve done when you took a nap, but I will not leave you alone,” she says firmly. Bucky looks over at her, but in the dim light she can’t really make out the look on his face.

“Do you want to be alone?” Steve asks. Shaye hadn’t considered that possibility when she’d given him her ultimatum.

“No. No, I really don’t,” Bucky answers after several moments.

“Come back to bed, honey.”

She sees him nod his head. Steve gets up and takes the mug and glass to the kitchen. Shaye gets up next and runs her fingers through Bucky’s hair. He looks up at her then stands up. She wraps her arms around him and bear hugs him. She hears him grunt a little as she squeezes. He hugs her back, resting his head on her shoulder. Steve emerges from the kitchen and he lets her go.

“Ready?” Steve asks.

“Yeah. Alexa, turn off the TV,” Shaye orders. The TV goes off and the room is dark. Steve finds the switch for the hall light and they head upstairs.

Bucky detours into the bathroom in her room and Shaye and Steve get on the bed.

“Is this PTSD?” she asks keeping her voice low.

“Yes.”

“You both have it, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“His is worse.”

“Yes.”

She looks at Steve who looks ashamed. She can’t comprehend why.

“Look at me,” she says turning his face towards hers. “Whatever it is you two have gone through and whatever you’re dealing with you have to tell me so I can help. A really good friend of mine her husband has PTSD from being in Iraq. She helps him all she can, but that’s reliant on him telling her what’s going on and her knowing his triggers…”

Bucky comes out of the bathroom and stops.

“What did I do?” he asks nervously.

“Nothing, Buck. She’s asking how she can help us.”

Bucky climbs on the bed and she can see the confused look on his face.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, honey,” Shaye promises him. He takes her hand and holds it. Steve takes her other hand. That day in the hotel when they’d panicked after she’d put the food service tray in the hall...is it because of this? Neither of them are willing to go any further with the conversation it seems. If she pushes the issue and they are anything like she is, they’ll clam up completely. Trust is a two way street…

“I’m not going to push the issue,” she says after a few moments. “You asked me to trust you - both of you - and now I’m asking you to trust me. I want to help you both, but you have to trust me and let me in, tell me what’s going on, tell me what works, what makes it worse, and how I can help. I can’t do that if you don’t let me.”

Bucky and Steve exchange glances, but again, neither say a word. She wonders if part of it may have something to do with what they do in the Avengers, that it’s privileged information, or if they just can’t or won’t talk about it with her.

She looks from Steve to Bucky and back again. Both of them are looking away from her. They still have her hands, but refuse to make eye contact.

“We do trust you,” Steve says finally. “But there’s levels of trust, Shaye.”

“Oh god, Steve, no,” Bucky groans.

Shaye bristles at this comment.

“Levels of trust,” she repeats, the words leaving a rancid taste in her mouth. “Trust us unconditionally, but prove your trustworthiness to us.”

“No, Shaye, not like that. Steve,” Bucky growls.

“That’s not how I meant that to come out,” Steve says backpedaling.

“That is exactly how it came out. I’m to trust you, risk everything by moving in with two people I barely know, have some guy they say is a doctor check me out and do a physical exam on me - which is really intrusive, by the way - find a job in New York even though that is clearly not one of my prime job hunting areas, and in return I’m to earn your trust but that only extends to certain things?” she asks. She’s desperately trying to keep her cool and it’s a struggle.

“Anything we tell you about ourselves can put you at risk,” Bucky says. She can tell he’s trying to help Steve find a way out of the hole he’s dug. That isn’t helping, though.

“I see. I’m just to know your names, the address of where we will reside and the locations I’ll be permitted to go to.” This is an all too familiar conversation. Her past is coming back to haunt her.

“It’s not like that, Shaye,” Steve says defensively. “Try and understand it from our side.”

“What we do isn’t safe by any means, Shaye,” Bucky adds. “Keeping you safe will be a priority for us. We will need to know where you are so if something happens we can find you. If something happens, the less you know the better.”

“Keeping me safe,” she repeats, her anger boiling over now.  “I was right. If I had agreed to this I’d basically be at your mercy. I want to help, you want a prisoner.”

She sees them both cringe at her words. It’s the truth. She’s been down this road before. Don’t talk to anyone unless you have permission. Don’t go anywhere without permission. Don’t ask questions. Speak when spoken to. Spread your legs on demand. The five commandments of a controlling partner. And here she is with two of them.

 

**_Chapter_ **

“Who hurt you like that?” Bucky asks gently. She’s exhibiting old wounds, scars from a past relationship, and that has put her on the defensive with them both. She went from wanting to help to sounding like she’s going to tell them to fuck off and get out.

“You looked up my past. You tell me,” she snaps. Bucky sees Steve flinch.

“We had to know if you were something other than just a tourist,” Steve explains. His tone is even and firm and Bucky isn’t sure if that will help or hurt them right now.

“We know about the restraining order for the whack job who was stalking you,” Bucky adds.

“Well, soon you’ll be able to find out about the restraining order I have against two of the Avengers.”

Bucky sighs heavily. She’s in full defensive mode now. He’s afraid any hopes they had of getting her to come back to New York with them are shot now.

“Shaye, stop,” Steve says gruffly. “This isn’t a one-sided issue. We aren’t trying to make you a prisoner. We don’t want you to become a target. We aren’t popular with everyone on the planet. There are factions out there that want to see us suffer. Knowing where you are at all times is how we know you’re safe, that you’re not in harm’s way, that if something were to happen we’d know where to start looking,” Steve finishes, his tone calmer now.

“We’d know how to find you, how to make sure you’re kept safe. Neither of us have any intention of making you a prisoner, Shaye. You can come and go as you please. For the most part -”

“There’s the fucking catch all,” she growls.

“We just need to know where you’ll be. You saw what happened in New York a few years ago with the alien invasion, right?” Steve asks.

She shrugs. Steve’s getting flustered. She’s not going to let her walls down unless they figure out a way to ease her mind.

“Lots of people were lost in the mess,” Bucky says softly. “We don’t want that to happen to you. We don’t want to lose you.”

“There are people still missing, Shaye. Still. To this day. That was a goddamn nightmare. The thought of anything happening to you is terrifying. We both have to make the others on the team aware of where we are at all times. We aren’t asking you to do anything we aren’t already doing, and we aren’t asking you to do this because we’re trying to keep you under our control,” Steve continues.

“You’re asking me to see your side, but have you even thought to look at it from mine?” she asks coldly. There’s less venom in her voice, and Bucky is hoping she’s coming around now. Bucky is dying to know who hurt her like this.

“We want you to trust us implicitly, but we’re only going to trust you with what we think is necessary,” Bucky says carefully.

“It sounds very one-sided and screwed up, Shaye. You’re right,” Steve finally admits. “I get it, sweetheart. I get it. Tell me you understand our reasoning at least.”

Bucky sees her open her mouth to say something, but then she seems to think better of it and closes it.

“What did they do to you, baby? What did they do that made you jump to that prisoner thing right away?” Bucky asks. She shakes her head. Bucky sees Steve reach for her and she leans away from him.

“Fair is fair, baby. I’ll tell you a little about my past if you tell me about yours.”

“Buck…” Steve warns. He knows he’s pushing his luck, but she’s right. She can’t be expected to trust them if they don’t show her some trust in return.

“No. I don’t want you to get in trouble. I don’t want to talk about this anymore, either. Stay or go, it’s your choice,” she says crawling away from them and getting under the covers. Bucky looks at Steve who is just as lost as he is now. The damage appears to be done. She’s locked herself away from them. He and Steve crawl under the covers on either side of her. He’s afraid to touch her, and apparently so is Steve. She makes no efforts to touch either of them. She simply closes her eyes.

Bucky’s heart breaks. He doesn’t sleep the rest of the night.

 

**_Chapter_ **

Shaye doesn’t remember when she finally fell asleep, only that she did because she woke up some time later. The sun is up and Steve and Bucky are not in the bed. She gets up and heads to the bathroom. It’s empty. Her first thought is that they left. They waited till she fell asleep and then they left. She wouldn’t give them what they wanted, so…

She cleans up, her mind replaying pieces of the conversation over and over and over, nitpicking details, things that were said, tone, inflection, phrasing. Questions start forming - why are they doing this? For what? What are they hiding? Is she asking for too much? Are they trying to protect her or keep her in a gilded cage?

She gets dressed and checks the spare room. Empty. She checks the hall bathroom. Empty. She heads downstairs and sees the living room is vacant. She’s not surprised, but she is hurt. She sits on the couch and looks at her phone finally. No messages, no missed calls. She nods her head. The tightness in her chest is so intense it’s getting hard to breathe. She did this to herself - mostly. She doesn’t want to go through another experience like she did before. She lost everything, her job, the car, her place…

She pushes those thoughts away. She’s trying to calm down, breathing slow and deep. It is what it is. They left. She’s still here, she still has her freedom and she has a job interview today that she has to be able to pretend to be functional for.

She gets up after a while and heads to the kitchen. She screams when she sees Bucky and Steve sitting at the table drinking coffee.

“Whoa! Whoa! Shaye!” Steve says as he and Bucky both get up and rush to her.

“It’s okay, bayb, it’s okay,” Bucky says as they put their arms around her. She’s so shook she can’t move.

“It’s okay,” they keep saying as they hold her between them. She has absolutely no idea what the fuck is happening here.

“I thought you left,” she finally manages to say. They let her go and exchange shocked looks.

“Why?” Steve asks.

“Baby...what the hell? Why would you think that?”

They both sound hurt. She’s hurt. She’s confused. She needs to get her shit together before noon.

“I went to sleep and you were there. I wake up and you’re gone. Last night didn’t end on such a great note -”

“Which is our fault,” Steve says gently. “Bucky and I came downstairs to let you sleep. We’ve been talking about this…”

“For almost three hours,” Bucky tells her. It’s just now going on 9am. They’ve been down here since six?

“We wouldn’t leave without letting you know. We made that mistake once, it won’t happen again,” Steve promises. Shaye rubs her temples. Both of them are taking turns rubbing her arms or her back or caressing her face or touching her hair.

“Do you want some coffee, baby?”

“Yes, please.”

Steve lets her go and gets a mug and fills it with coffee.

“Not black...milk and sugar?” he asks.

“There’s creamer in the fridge.”

He gets the creamer out, adds some and brings her the cup. Bucky looks exhausted, like he never went back to sleep after he initially woke up. Steve doesn’t look much better. What a trio they are.

“We want to talk to you, sweetheart. Let’s go sit in the living room,” Steve says. Shaye looks in the coffee cup and then at Steve. This does not sound promising.

 

**_Chapter_ **

Steve follows Bucky and Shaye into the living room. Shaye sits on the couch, Bucky sits on the coffee table across from her and Steve sits to her right. She’s out of sorts and deep inside those protective walls she has. It saddens him to know that she thinks they’d just leave without saying a word. That she believes they think so poorly of her they’d just walk away.

“Baby?” Bucky says tilting his head. She’s not looking at either of them, just blankly staring at her coffee.

“Bucky.”

Bucky sits up straight and sighs.

“Last night was a mess, Shaye,” Steve begins. “Things were taken out of context I think - by all of us. Whatever happened to you, whatever this other person or people did, that’s not us. All we can ask is that you trust us enough to let us prove that.” He’s hoping she’ll say something, but she doesn’t respond.

“The counter side to that is that we have to trust you, too. You’re right, baby. It doesn’t work just one way. There are things that we can’t discuss, things we can’t go into, and for good reason. But there are things we can, should and will trust you with. Like the PTSD issues, and about my past,” Bucky says picking up the conversation. Steve watches her hoping for a response of any kind. The only difference now is that she’s no longer staring blankly into her coffee cup. She looks focused, which he hopes means she’s listening.

“We do trust you, beautiful. Buck’s not been around a dame in seventy years and I’m a goddamn mess with dames. Both of us were comfortable enough to strip down to our shorts and fall asleep with you in the hotel that day. Think about what we do, Shaye. Think about all the shit we deal with. What are the odds he and I both fall asleep with a strange dame? Not once, but twice? Our lives depend on us being alert and aware of our surroundings at all times,” Steve explains. Her lips twitch. He looks to Bucky to see if he saw this and if this is a good sign or a bad one. Bucky’s head is down and his hands are clasped between his knees.

“I was captured during the war. I fell, lost my arm and the fucks that found me...gave me a metal replacement. In exchange for that they wiped my memory and turned me into a monster. I went after my best friend with the intention of killing him. I was ordered to do so. Steve got through their brainwashing shit...after I hurt him -”

“Buck,” Steve says sternly, “that wasn’t your goddamn fault.”

“But it happened. I did it. I did those things and she needs to know about it. I’m not going to keep this from her. I told you that. Let her make up her mind,” Bucky says without looking up. Steve looks over at Shaye who is now looking at Bucky.

“Go on,” Steve says quietly. His will and desire to protect Bucky from the fallout of his past has been Steve’s driving force behind keeping it a secret. There are some who can see that Bucky was manipulated, a pawn in a game he had no control over. Others see Bucky as nothing more than a murdering monster - including Bucky himself. Steve is praying she’s the former and not the latter.

“I nearly beat him to death. He broke the hold this outfit had on me. I ran. I tried to hide because of the things I’ve done, things I was forced to do that I can never unsee or forget. He found me again. It cost him a good friend of his. I murdered his friend’s parents. I’ve killed countless others. I live with that everyday. Every night. We ran. Steve was a wanted man because of me. He took me someplace...to people to try and help get my head straight. I went back into cryo. They helped with what they could, they removed that fucking shit this outfit put in my head to keep me under their control, to make me do this shit…”

Bucky wipes his eyes. To hear him tell the tale kills Steve every time. Bucky takes full blame for everything. Steve, T’Challa, Shuri, Wanda, Natasha...none of them can convince him otherwise.

“I was off the radar for almost two years, trying to keep them away from Bucky till they could get him straight. There have been other things that have come up...larger issues that I needed to resurface for. I was tried and cleared. I brought Bucky back with me. He was tried and cleared, but only partially.”

“I’m the property of the Avengers and/or SHIELD until such time as my demise is either recorded or ordered,” Bucky says quietly. Steve’s stomach turns. He loathes that. Hates it with a passion. The only way to get the goddamn world courts off of Buck’s ass was to agree to this. Otherwise he’d be in a prison somewhere awaiting sentencing and trial over and over and over and over...and for shit he had no control over. Some courts saw that, others refused to.

Steve looks at Shaye and she looks horrified. Bucky chances to look up and Steve sees the tears come faster.

“Black or white,” he says getting up. Steve was hoping she’d see it from his side…

 

 

 

**_Chapter_ **

Shaye grabs Bucky’s hand before he can walk away. She’s mortified by what she’s been told. But the icing on the cake....he’s listed as a fucking possession. Not a person. Not a human being. He’s an object that can be dealt with accordingly. He’s at their mercy. They can throw a kill order for him at anytime…

“Stop,” she says pulling on his hand.

“Don’t. Just don’t, Shaye. I did that shit. I’m a goddamn monster. You don’t have to say anything,” he says through his tears. Steve is looking at her with mixture of despair and dismay.

“Please sit down,” she says refusing to let his hand go. Steve sighs heavily.

“Buck, sit down. Let her talk.”

Bucky sits down, but refuses to look up from the floor. Shaye isn’t sure how to process all of the information she’s been given. She has so many questions.

“They have a standing kill order on you?” she asks finally.

“For good reason,” Bucky replies.

“Bullshit for good reason,” Steve argues. “You could not help what you did.”

Bucky looks up at Steve and silences anything else Steve may have wanted to say. They sit quietly for a moment.

“They brainwashed you...this person or people or whatever. They did that?”

“They put me in a chair, attached electrodes to my temples and…”

“Buck, stop,” Steve says cutting him off. There’s a good reason. Shaye is horrified, her hand over her mouth trying to keep from screaming or crying or both. What the fuck did they do to this man?

“Oh my god…” she finally manages to whisper. They’d tortured him till he broke. Jimmy used to tell her stories his grandfather would tell him about how they’d torture enemies that were captured - on both sides - until that person broke. Till all that was left was a body of flesh with no will or ability to think on its own.

“He had no control over what he did, Shaye. None. He’s not a bad person. He was forced to do this shit,” Steve says taking the defensive for Bucky. Bucky is in tears. Steve is pissed off and upset. They both seem to think she’s going to be on the side that doesn’t believe he’s a victim. They put themselves at risk - Bucky put himself at risk - by telling her this. Not just from a top secret standpoint, but from a personal, open wound revealing, deep seated pain standpoint. They confided in her about his past - enough to give her insight into his world, to show her some of his pain.

She lifts Bucky’s chin and puts her hand on his face. She pulls him against her, letting him rest his head on her. He puts his arms around her and weeps. She looks at Steve and reaches for his hand. He takes her hand and she pulls on him till he’s up standing next to her and she can put an arm around him. Steve puts one arm around Bucky and one arm around Shaye.

“I never wanted to do those things,” Bucky cries from her shirt. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t cry, sweetheart. It’s okay. I’m with Steve on this,” she whispers as she rubs his back. She looks at Steve who is near his breaking point now. She hugs them both as tightly as she can.

“I can hold you both better on the bed, equal attention. I want to go upstairs,” she tells them. Bucky looks up with tear filled eyes and nods. Steve nods his head, he doesn’t seem able to speak now.

They head upstairs and Shaye gets into the middle of the bed and lets them curl up on either side of her. She sees a few tears spill from Steve’s eyes, but he’s quick to wipe them away. Bucky is still in pieces, his face buried into her breast, his arm around her holding onto her tightly. She runs her fingers over his temple and notices now slight discoloration there. Steve has his arm over her, but his hand he has on Bucky’s arm, holding it. She runs her fingers through Steve’s hair and then rubs his back slowly. She does the same for Bucky.

Bucky’s sobs become more muffled and eventually die down completely. Both of them are laying quietly on her. She’s not sure if they’re awake or asleep. They’re both hurting more than she could ever have imagined. She understands why they want to keep tabs on her. She doesn’t necessarily like it, but she understands. Steve lost his best friend for god knows how long and when he resurfaced... They don’t want to go through that again. She damn sure wouldn’t want to go through it. The overbearing, protective nature in Steve and to a lesser extent Bucky is because of what they do and who they are and what they’ve suffered. She was wrong to assume this was going to be the same that fucked up relationship she’d had. She was wrong to jump to conclusions. It took making Bucky break down and nearly having Steve break down to get that through her skull and she feels like a piece of absolute shit now. Not everyone is a bad guy.

There still quiet and still. She looks at the clock. It’s 1045am. She’s got just over an hour till the interview. She brushes Bucky’s hair from the side of his face and runs her fingers over Steve’s arm. Steve shifts a little, Bucky looks up at her.

“How you doing, handsome?” she asks him. He smiles faintly.

“Wore out,” he admits. “I’m sorry about this -”

“Stop,” she says cutting him off. “Don’t apologize. There’s nothing to apologize for.”

He studies her for a moment.

“I don’t want you to hate me.”

“She doesn’t hate you, Buck.”

She and Bucky jump a little at the sound of Steve’s voice. He stretches alongside Shaye and lets go of Bucky’s arm.

“He’s right. I don’t hate you, honey. You wouldn’t be in my hovel if I hated you. You damn sure wouldn’t be on the bed with me with your head on my left tit if I hated you,” she says playfully. Steve laughs a little and Bucky finally cracks a smile. Steve stretches again and sighs.

“Your interview is in an hour, sweetheart,” Steve says letting her go and pushing himself up. Bucky is reluctant to move just yet so she plays with a lock of his hair.

“I know.”

“What do you need to do to get ready?” Bucky asks.

“Probably just pull up a resume and make sure I have all the standard question and answer things ready. It’s mostly just how well you can bullshit,” she says. Steve and Bucky both laugh now.

“Bullshit artist,” Steve muses.

“Basically,” she says with a shrug. After a few moments she asks, “is the offer to come back with you still open?”

Bucky sits up quickly and he and Steve look at her questioningly.

“Are you serious, Shaye?” Steve asks.

“Yeah,” she replies.

“Really? You want to come back with us?” Bucky asks.

“If the option is still open -”

“It is,” they say in unison.

 

**_Chapter_ **

Bucky and Steve sit on the couch finishing up their coffee from breakfast. Shaye is upstairs doing her phone interview.  Bucky’s watching Steve figure out her TV system.

“They’ve got different channels here,” Steve muses. Bucky looks up from his phone at the TV.

“What the hell is this?” Bucky asks. Steve has a mildly amused look on his face.

“Is this...what the hell is this? What are they doing?” Bucky asks.

“Driving around and picking through people’s crap,” Steve tells him.

“Why?”

“To sell it to other people.”

“One man’s trash,” Bucky laughs and goes back to looking at his phone.

“What the hell are you looking at?”

“Quantico and the surrounding areas. There’s some pretty shady areas down there, Steve.”

“There’s shady areas all over the place, Buck, doesn’t matter where you go.”

“It’s not where we’re going, Steve -”

“I know,” Steve cuts him off, “I know. I don’t want her in Quantico or any other random place.”

“We better not get called, Steve,” Bucky growls. “They better just...I don’t fucking know. They fucked us over with her before -”

“You know that’s not how it works, Buck. They call, we go. I’m giving her my key and the passcode to get into the building.”

“But will she stay? If we aren’t there will she stay?”

“I don’t know.”

Bucky looks up the stairs. It’s almost one and there’s been no sign of Shaye.

“I hope they pass her up on this job, Steve,” Bucky admits feeling ashamed for thinking that.

“I guess that makes us both assholes instead of just you.”

Bucky laughs.

“Did you call Bruce?”

“I did,” Steve says flipping the channel again.

“What’d you say?”

“Told him what she said about her cycle.”

“What’d he say?”

Steve flips the channel again.

“He started asking me a load of questions. How old is she? When did this start? What kind of birth control is she on? What symptoms does she have if she’s not on the pill? Has she ever had a sonogram? The list goes on and on, man. I had to stop him and tell him she’d have to give him her personal history.”

Bucky nods and looks up the stairs again.

“Do you think she fell asleep?” Bucky asks. Steve turns in the couch to look up the stairs.

“Give her another half hour and then we can go check. I don’t want to bother her if she’s still doing this interview.”

“Quantico,” Bucky mutters.

“We’ve got to make the most of this trip up there, Buck. We have to make sure she has a good time with us.”

“I know, kid.”

They hear the bedroom door open and both of them stand up.

She comes down the stairs and smiles when she sees them.

“How’d it go, baby?”

“They want me to come for a face to face next week.”

“Is that a good thing?” Steve asks. Bucky’s trying to keep his disappointment from showing.

“I need a job, Steve. Unemployment doesn’t pay the bills and I’m not going to live off the system. This is the first place that’s offered me an interview. I can’t pass it up.”

“Will you still be able to come to New York with us? Will going back with us cause an issue with doing the interview?” Bucky asks being careful of his phrasing.

“I wasn’t planning on staying more than a day or two, to be honest. You two have other things to be concerned with.”

“Unless we get called away that is an untrue statement,” Steve says flatly. “You are who we are concerned with.”

“We’ve got it figured out, baby. Steve’s going to give you his key and the passcode to the outside door. I’m giving you my credit card -”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Back that shit wagon up,” she says cutting Bucky off. “Credit card? For what? And no.”

“If we get called out we want to make sure you have money to go wherever you need to go. You know, say if you snagged an interview and needed to call a cab,” Bucky says throwing the last part out there like a grenade.

“I can pay for my own cab,” she states.

“I can pay for it, too. You’re taking the card,” Bucky says firmly. Steve puckers his lips. Bucky’s pushing his luck now and they both know it. Shaye’s eyes widen.

“Am I?”

“Shaye, I don’t want to argue. Steve doesn’t want to argue. We asked you to come back with us -”

“We were going to pay for everything when you came up originally, Shaye. This is not going to be any different. All we’re doing is taking precautionary measures to make sure you’re not going to want for anything if we get called. That’s all,” Steve says taking over the conversation.

“Fine,” she says and shrugs.

“That was too easy,” Bucky says studying her. Steve grins and shakes his head.

“Let it go,” he says smacking Bucky on the shoulder. “She agreed to take the damn card.”

He narrows his eyes at her, she smiles and sticks out her tongue. Steve laughs and Bucky grins.

“You’re a shit, you know that?” Bucky asks her.

“You’re the one who wanted to date me,” she replies in an overly sweet voice.

“I need my head checked.”

“Ohhhh,” she yells and laughs. “I see. Alright, wiseass.”

Bucky grabs her hands and pulls her to he and Steve so they can hug her. She grabs Bucky by the chin and kisses, smiling beautifully when she’s done, then does the same with Steve.

“What’s the plan?” she asks as they sit on the couch together.

“Do you want to come back with us today?” Steve asks.

“We’d need to see if we can get tickets, guys, but if we can, sure. I’d just need to pack,” she says getting up. Steve runs his hand down her back to her ass. She grabs the laptop and sits back down between them.

 

**_Chapter_ **

Shaye is upstairs packing clothes to go back to New York with Steve and Bucky.

“Stay more than a couple of days, baby. Stay until you have to come back for your interview.”

“We’ll cover your plane ticket back, sweetheart. Just...what day next week is it?”

“Friday,” she says without looking at either of them.

“Next Friday?” Bucky asks. She can hear the excitement in his voice and it makes her smile.

“Next Friday.”

“That’s almost a week. You can stay till what? Thursday?” Steve asks. She’s willing to bet if she turns around to look at them they look like two little kids at Christmas.

“Wednesday. I want a day to figure out how to get there. It’s not a short ride and traffic in Virginia is a goddamn joke,” she explains.

“Wednesday. Okay. So, less than a week,” Steve says sounding thoroughly disappointed. She takes the clothes she pulled from her closet and turns around.

“I’m coming back with you, but you both knew I’d be coming back in time for this interview.”

“I know,” Steve says sitting on the edge of the bed. Bucky is looking at what she’s packing, like he’s cataloguing things.

“Baby,” he says lifting up a few pairs of the jeans she has in the suitcase, “what about stuff in case you get an interview?”

“Honey, the odds of that are…” she trails off because of they way they’re both looking at her - hopeful and pleading.

“Just in case, baby. You never know. You said you’d look.”

She heads back to her closet and looks through her proper attire. She grabs one outfit, and turns around. Steve is now in her suitcase looking at her panties. She tilts her head. Bucky grins knowing Steve’s been caught, but doesn’t say anything.

“Are you shopping? There’s more in the dresser,” she tells Steve. He drops the pair he’s currently looking at and looks at her. She can see the color creeping up his neck to his face.

“I...um…” he stammers.

“Heh,” Bucky chuckles. Steve shoots him a look.

“Did you see something you liked?”

“No lingerie but you have lacy pieces?” Steve asks holding up a pair of black lace bikinis. Bucky skews an eyebrow at the panties and grins that much more.

“I have to buy underwear,” she tells Steve. “Buying just plain stuff gets old. If you don’t like them I’ll put them back,” she says reaching for them. He tosses them to Bucky who puts them back in the suitcase.

“Uh uh, baby. Those are coming along,” Bucky says.

‘Do you have anymore?” Steve asks. He’s thoroughly piqued by this now based on him tugging on his crotch.

“In the dresser. Top drawer on the left,” she says pointing to the dresser. Both of them head to the dresser. She laughs a little and carefully folds her proper attire to put in the suitcase to try and reduce and wrinkling. The boys come over each of them holding a couple of pairs of panties. All of them lacy and Bucky found the sheer black pair. Of course he did.

“You,” she says taking the sheer pair from Bucky, “are a brat.”

“Why? Because I want to see you strut around our place in this?” he asks taking them back.

“Or these?” Steve asks. He found the thongs she’d buried in the back of the drawer and is twirling a pair around his fingers.

“We’re taking you lingerie shopping, baby. But this is a start for us,” Bucky says mischievously.

“You do realize that women - or dames as you lovingly refer to them - are just as visually stimulated as guys, right?” she asks taking the panties from them and putting them in the suitcase. She sees them both look surprised by this.

“Really?” Steve asks innocently.

“Yes.”

“What stimulates you?” Bucky asks sitting on the bed.

“Aside from you stroking my thighs, teasing me and making me threaten to hurt you?” she asks. Bucky is all smiles.

“Aside from that,” Steve says, eager for an answer.

“Guys in uniform,” she says absently.

“What kind of uniform?” they ask together.

“Military I guess.”

They look at each other.

“I think we can cover that. Anything else?” Steve asks taking the thongs out again and twirling them some more.

“Put those back,” she scolds him. “I don’t know. I never really thought about it.”

“We’ll work on that,” Steve promises. Bucky gives her a wink and his playful half grin.

“I keep hearing these threats from you two.”

“No threats, baby. Just promises,” Bucky says taking her hand. “Are you about ready?”

“Yup. Get your stuff. I’m going to run to the bathroom before we leave.”

“I’ll take this downstairs,” Steve says closing the suitcase. Bucky kisses her and gives her ass a little squeeze before he heads out. Steve lingers.

“If we get called away, Shaye, don’t leave. Please. Not unless you have to. I’ll make sure you have your plane ticket back on Wednesday, just don’t leave before then. Please.”

He’s adamant about this.

“Steve, is it a good idea leaving a strange woman in your place while you’re gone? Should you go, that is.”

“It’s about trust, remember?” he says with that grand champion grin of his.

“You’re as much of an ass as he is.”

“Where do you think I learned it?” Steve laughs.

“Go on,” she laughs. “I’ll meet you downstairs.”

He pulls her into his arms and kisses her, then heads downstairs with her suitcase.

Shaye finishes up and heads downstairs. Bucky has the keys and both he and Steve’s bags at the ready. Steve has her suitcase. They’re both ready to go.

“Do you have everything, baby? Cell phone, charger? Do you want to bring your laptop? I have one at our place you can use if you don’t want to bring yours,” Bucky says.

“Cell and charger are in my bag. Laptop stays here. I have my keys,” she says double checking her bag. “How much time do we have?”

“We’re ahead of schedule. We have to be at the airport in two hours, it only takes an hour, right?” Steve asks.

“About that. Give me a second,” she says. “I want to call some friends of mine and see if they can just swing by and make sure my place is secure while I’m gone.”

“Good idea, baby,” Bucky agrees. Steve nods his head. She can tell their chomping at the bit to get to the airport. She calls Kate and puts her on speaker so the boys can hear her, too. She’s got nothing to hide.

“Shaye! Hi! Jimmy was just asking where the hell you’ve been,” Kate’s cheerey voice answers.

“Hey. Tell Jimmy I’ve been under a rock in a ditch talking to the Mad Hatter.”

“You tell that fucker he owes me money!” Jimmy yells in the background. Kate and Shaye laugh. Bucky and Steve look perplexed.

“Come over. I made spaghetti,” Kate says.

“Actually, I’m on my way out. I’m going to New York and I’ll be gone till Wednesday. Can you or Jimmy just swing by once or twice to make sure everything looks okay? I’ll pay you -”

“No you won’t! You keep your money,” Kate cuts in. “I heard what Boswitch did to you.”

“How the hell...who told you?” she asks. She motions for the boys to head outside with her. She can keep the conversation going in the truck.

“Sit with her in the back and keep her warm, Steve,” Bucky orders as he climbs into the cab. Steve opens the door for Shaye and she gets in. He stows the suitcase and their bags in the front with Bucky and then gets in the back with her.

“Who is that?” Kate asks when she hears their voices.

“Steve and Bucky,” she says. “Who told you?”

“Meghan’s sister is in HR. She told me a bunch of people got fired to make room for Boswitch’s boy.”

“That fucking...who else?” this is news to her. She sees Bucky look in the rearview at her and wink as he backs out. Steve buckles in then buckles her in because she hasn’t done so yet. He puts his arm around her and toys with her hair as he listens to the conversation.

“Sean something from accounting and Mark Harkness from accounting and I don’t know who else. She named off like three or four other people including you. I didn’t want to call you and bother you after I found out -”

“I wouldn’t let her!” Jimmy yells from the background. Steve and Bucky get a chuckle out of that.

“We’ll keep an eye out. You let me know when you get to New York,” Kate orders.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Don’t talk to strange men! Unless it’s Captain America! He lives there! Get his autograph!” Jimmy yells. Bucky bursts out laughing. Steve closes his eyes and shakes his head.

“Will you hush!” Kate barks at Jimmy. “Have fun! We’ll see you when you get back!”

Shaye disconnects the call. Bucky is still laughing.

“Shut up and drive,” Steve growls.

 

**_Chapter_ **

Steve opens the door to their apartment and lets Shaye and Bucky head in first. Bucky flips on the lights and they watch Shaye take a few steps and look around.

“What do you think, baby?” Bucky asks eagerly.

“It needs a soft touch,” Steve tells her hoping she’ll get the hint.

“It’s nice,” she says taking a few more steps.

“Bedrooms are this way. We ordered king beds to be delivered. They should be here around five,” Steve says looking at his watch.

“You ordered new beds?” she asks turning to face them.

“We did. We weren’t sure which room you’d want to sleep in,” Bucky explains.

“Here,” Steve says handing her his key. “The code for the door is 18754 -”

“Hold on,” she says grabbing her phone. He watches her pull something up and key in the number. “18754 right? I’m not doing this goddamn dyslexic bullshit again.”

“You got it, baby.”

“That’s it,” Steve tells her. She looks at the key as she flips it around in her hand.

“You two ordered beds. Did you order sheets, too?” she asks. Bucky and Steve look at each other.

“About that…” Steve says rubbing the back of his neck.

“We didn’t think that far ahead, Shaye,” Bucky admits sounding embarrassed. She smiles.

“Is there a laundry facility in the building? Or are you two lucky enough to have a washer and dryer in here?” she asks.

“Laundry is in the basement,” Steve says. He’s wondering why she’s asking.

“You’ll need sheets for the beds. Is there someplace we can go to that’s close and get some?” she asks.

“Any place in particular you’re looking for, baby?” Bucky asks.

“Preferably someplace that sells decent thread count sheets….I don’t know…”

“There’s a Crate and Barrel close by, Nordstrom, Macy’s, Bloomingdale’s,” Steve says thinking of the ones he’s seen. Bucky is looking at his phone.

“Those are the major ones,” Bucky agrees. “There’s a few other smaller stores. You want to go shopping, baby?” Bucky asks with a big grin.

“We need sheets and blankets, right?” she asks.

“We do,” Steve agrees.

“You know,” she says her eyes sparkling and that devilish grin on her lips as she looks at her phone, “I think Bloomingdale’s sells lingerie.”

Steve feels his breath catch and his cock stir in his jeans. Bucky’s grinning like a maniac.

“Do they?” Steve asks trying to keep his urge to jump her in check.

“Yeah,” she says looking at her phone again. “Like this,” she adds handing Steve the phone. Bucky looks at the screen with him.

“Peekaboo bralette and open panel briefs,” Steve reads as he looks at the image. He hears Bucky inhale deeply. The briefs are open at the crotch. Open. He’s not sure any of them are going to make it out of the room much less the apartment.

She seems to pick up on this, or maybe this was her intent to begin with because she’s shaking her head no at them.

“You wanted lingerie, right?” she asks.

“We wanted to see you in lingerie,” Bucky corrects her.

“He means yes,” Steve says hastily.

“We get the sheets and covers and we make a little side trip to their lingerie and see what they have that sparks your fancy. Something for each of you.”

“Lets go,” Steve says.

“Come on, baby,” Bucky says putting her coat over her shoulders so she’ll put it on. She’s amused by their reactions, the smile on her face and light laughter coming from her making that evident.

“You’re killing me,” he groans.

“You’re not the only one,” Bucky grumbles running his thumb over his crotch.

“Do you want to stay here?” she asks. Steve wants to say yes so badly…

“No,” Bucky answers hoarsely. “No. I want to see you in this, baby.”

“We fully expect to see you in something tonight, Shaye,” Steve tells her as his balls ache.

“Something? Or nothing?” she continues to tease. Bucky groans loudly.

“You know you’re going to get it when we get home, right?” Steve asks her. She smiles.

“I fully expect to.”

“Lets go,” Bucky says hastily. “We need to go.”

They walk out of the apartment and outside to the blessedly cold air.

 

**_Chapter_ **

Bucky and Steve are standing in the bedding section of Bloomingdale’s with Shaye as she looks around. While the cold air did help cool him off, Bucky’s still aching to pin Shaye against the wall and screw her brains out. Steve smacks him lightly in the chest and points to her. She’s looking at something, her head tilted just a bit. She’s just out of earshot of them.

“She found something,” Steve says quietly.

“Seems to have. We need to call Bruce when we get home,” Bucky reminds him. He just remembered about the whole pill issue with Shaye himself.

“I forgot about that...we never said anything more to her about it.”

Bucky sighs. She’s going to continue to argue with them on this even though they have her best interests at heart.

“We can’t force her. We’ll suggest it again, see what she says.”

“Do you know if she packed the damn pills?” Steve asks. Bucky looks at him and shakes his head no.

“I never thought to ask her about it, either,” he states. Shaye has moved onto something else now.

“I didn’t either. If she doesn’t have them -”

“She’ll have to go see Bruce. Those things are prescription only, that much I do know,” Bucky says.

“I don’t want her getting sick, Buck. I don’t want her to be sick now. There’s got to be a way to convince her to see Bruce.”

“I’m not disagreeing, kid, but again, we can’t force her. You want to piss her off and have her leave us?” Bucky asks. That’s his fear right now, that if they push this issue about her body health or the issue with her getting a job in New York and staying with them that they’re going to alienate her and she’ll never speak to them again. He doesn’t want to take that chance.

“You know I don’t, Buck. We have to talk to her, though.”

“We will. She found something,” Bucky says grinning.

“What do you think?” she asks handing them each a sheet set. “They have different colors, but these are the highest thread counts.”

“I’m liking this blue, actually,” Bucky tells her. It’s a deep, dark blue. Steve nods.

“Blue it is,” she says taking Steve’s sheets from him.

“What color do you want, sweetheart?” Steve asks making her stop in her tracks.

“I’m good with blue.”

“Shaye,” Bucky says not believing her.

“The longer you two argue the less time you have to look at lingerie,” she reminds them.

“Nope,” Steve says. “Find a color you like.”

“Blue is fine,” she argues.

Bucky tries a different tactic.

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Green. We’re getting the blue sheets,” she says being defiant.

Bucky’s about to argue with her, but Steve shakes his head no.

“We need blankets?” Steve asks.

“We do,” she says.

“We’re getting green,” he tells her. She stops in her tracks and glares at him. Bucky laughs.

“I’m good with green,” Bucky agrees.

“You too? Really?” she asks. Bucky can see she’s trying to hide her smile. Steve smiles, Bucky grins and she breaks.

“Come on, baby. Let’s get the covers and then go look at lacy things,” Bucky says.

 

Chapter

Shaye, Bucky and Steve are at the edge of the lingerie area in Bloomingdale’s.

“Go see what strikes your fancy,” she tells them. They head deeper into the section. She decides to browse bras while they hunt. It isn’t long before Bucky comes back with three different items in his arms.

“I didn’t know what size, so I just picked out what I thought would look damn good on you, baby,” he says. He holds up the pieces he found. A see through teddy in blue with blue ribbon. A sheer black and pink bustier with matching thongs, garters and stockings. His last choice surprises her at its simplicity and elegance. It’s a black chemise with sheer lace over the breasts and then changing to silk just below the midline.

“What do you think, baby?” he asks.

“I sent you after what you wanted, handsome, not what I wanted.”

“I know. I like them all. I want to know what you like,” he persists. She lifts the silk end of the chemise, clearly her favorite of the three. He’s smiling patiently.

“You’re getting all three aren’t you?” she asks.

“I am. I just need to make sure of your size,” he says. He runs his fingers over her cheek, the leather gloves soft against her skin. She closes her eyes briefly and he does it again. She catches the scent of the leather, it’s soft like his touch.

“Show me where they are and we’ll figure it out,” she says opening her eyes. He runs his thumb under her lower lip and kisses her.

“Steve’s found stuff,” he whispers looking past her. She looks over her shoulder to see Steve heading towards them. He’s picked out several items, as well.

Bucky kisses her lips and runs his fingers over her cheek again. The scent of the leather stirring up her desire.

“I see you beat me to it,” Steve says.

“Only just,” Bucky tells him. Steve is looking at what Bucky picked out compared to what he has. Steve found the lingerie she’d shown them on the phone. He found a pink bustier with lace boy shorts and garters.

“Are these your choices?” she asks looking at the crotchless lace panties.

“You don’t like them? I can go -”

“Stop,” she says putting her finger to his lips. “It’s your choice.”

“What are you getting?” he asks Bucky. Bucky grins.

“All three. We were going to get her size for each when we saw you coming,” Bucky says.

“All three?” Steve asks her looking for confirmation. He takes the chemise from Bucky and holds it up to get a better view.

“All three. That’s what he wants to do. I see you found the crotchless panties,” she says with a playful smile.

“I did. I have plans for them. And you,” he says with a sinister smile. Even Bucky is surprised by this.

“Damn, kid.”

“Let’s get the right sizes so we can get back before the beds are delivered,” Shaye laughs.

 

Chapter

Shaye sits on the couch watching the mattress delivery guys butt heads with Steve and Bucky over how to get the box springs into the apartment and then into the bedroom. They’ve already removed the old beds and Steve and Bucky have had to move furniture around to accommodate the new beds. The box springs don’t bend and the delivery guys are trying to convince Steve and Bucky they do this more than Bucky and Steve do and they know how to get the damn things into the apartment. She can hear them bickering in the hall.

She looks at the bags with the lingerie in them. Hand wash only. They never thought to get something to wash this delicate stuff with. The sheets are currently in the washer in the basement. The down comforter they chose for Steve’s room is folded on top of the weighted blanket they got for Bucky’s bed. Both of them are green in color. Steve’s an emerald green, Bucky’s more of a hunter.

“Look, the goddamn box spring has to go through the door somehow. We got two queen box springs in here with no trouble, why the hell is getting split box springs in here - which are smaller - an issue?” Steve demands. She looks up and sees Bucky coming back into the apartment rubbing his temples.

She gets up and goes to him, putting her arms around his waist and kissing his cheek.

“Are you okay?” she asks.

“No. My fucking head is pounding. I just want to get this over with so we can go eat and come home and relax,” Bucky says tiredly. She pushes his hair from his face. He lays his head on her shoulder and sighs.

“Do you have something for your head, sweetie? I have Aleve in my bag.”

“Can I have some?” he asks lifting his head. She nods and lets him go to get her bag. She hands him the bottle, he takes her hand and they go into the kitchen. Bucky gets himself a glass of water and downs the pills. He goes back to rubbing his temples.

“Why don’t we stay in, Bucky? We can order in. Or,” she says remembering a commercial she’d seen when she was in the hotel, “we can call that store that delivers groceries and I can make you and Steve dinner.”

“We’ll order in. I don’t want you to have to worry about cooking while you’re here.”

“I don’t mind, Bucky. If it means you can stay in and not worry about having to go out feeling like you do.”

He sighs heavily.

“I need to check on Steve, baby. This shit with the beds…”

“I know,” she says softly. She runs her fingers over the thickening stubble on his cheek and he closes his eyes. “Come on.”

They head back into the living room. Steve is in the doorway with a box spring, finagling it inside.

“Jesus fucking...hang on, Steve,” Bucky says trotting over to him to help.

“I got it, Buck,” Steve grunts as he manhandles the box spring the rest of the way into the apartment. Shaye can now see the two delivery guys standing in the doorway looking agitated. Steve shoves the box spring the rest of the way into the room, Bucky catches it and slides it out of the way and Steve goes after the other one.

“They’re in,” Steve growls. “Do you think now we can get the mattresses and the damn frames in here?”

“Sure thing, boss,” the one guy says. Shaye sees Steve bristle.

“Listen to me,” she says stepping into Steve’s line of sight, “let’s get this done and get them out of here. We have all night to relax together, okay?”

He looks at her then at the delivery guys.

“Take care of Buck, sweetheart,” he says softly. He runs his fingers over her cheek then down her neck. “I’m going to make very short work of this.”

Shaye does as she’s told and goes back to Bucky who is sitting on the couch rubbing his temples still. Shaye gathers up the blankets and the lingerie bags and puts them on the recliner. She sits next to Bucky and pulls him over so he’s laying on her chest. He doesn’t fight her, he just puts his arms around her and nestles his face into her breasts. She runs her fingers through his hair gently, being extra careful not to pull.

“I have a stupid question for you,” she says after a moment of thought.

“Ask me anything, baby. Just don’t stop playing with my hair. It feels good.”

“Is it helping?”

“A little.”

She can hear Steve growling at the delivery guys and one of them sassing him back.

“He’s going to beat the snot out of them in a second,” Bucky mumbles.

“They deserve it at this point. Are the headaches part of what they did to you, honey?”

“Maybe. I don’t get them that often, baby. It’ll pass,” he says. He’s not concerned, or at least he’s trying to convince her he’s not concerned. She’s not sure if she should be concerned for him, though. She stops toying with his hair and he looks up at her.

“I promise it’s nothing to worry about. I’ve had my head checked more times than I want to admit.”

“Uh huh,” she says making sure he can hear she doesn’t believe him. He growls and closes his eyes. He takes her hand and puts it on his head in a vain attempt to get her to play with his hair. She laughs a little and gives him what he wants. She runs her fingers through his hair slowly from root to tip.

“It may be a side effect of what they did, what happened,” he says keeping his voice low. “I don’t know. I just get them sometimes.”

“What helps?”

“This seemingly.”

“I thought you didn’t go near other broads,” she teases.

“You’re not a broad and I don’t.”

“Is your head any better?” she asks after a few moments of watching Steve drag the other box spring inside.

“Getting there.”

“I want his job,” one of the delivery guys says looking at Bucky and Shaye. Bucky sits up.

“He earned his keep. Have you?” Shaye asks coldly.

“I’ll show you how I earn my keep,” the idiot delivery guys says. Bucky is now on his feet and Steve appears with with a menacing look on his face. Bucky and Steve have the delivery guys flanked.

“Where are the mattresses?” Steve asks through clenched teeth.

“In the truck. We’ll get them now,” the delivery guy with more brains says pushing on the idiot delivery guy to get out of the apartment.

“Don’t leave her alone with them,” Steve orders.

“I’m alright, Steve. Are these fools with the mattress company?” Shaye asks.

“I’ll call and find out after they leave. Maybe we should just go get the shit off the truck ourselves,” Bucky suggests.

Shaye bites her lip and looks at Steve who looks like he’s ten seconds away from going postal. Steve nods his head in agreement and heads towards the door.

“Stay in here, doll,” he says turning around and pointing to the living room.

“Don’t,” Bucky says putting his hand on her back. “He’s pissed off. We’ll get this done in short order.”

“Don’t let him beat the shit out of anyone, Bucky. Please,” Shaye begs.

“He won’t,” Bucky says and smiles. He kisses her temple and heads out after Steve. Shaye sits on the couch and waits. Bucky was afraid she’d go off on Steve for ordering her to do something. She had no intention of doing so. He’s riled up enough and she could see he’s just being protective of her. Especially after that jackass delivery guy’s crass remark. She goes to the bathroom and then to the kitchen to get a drink.

She comes back to the living room just as Steve comes in lugging a rolled up mattress on one shoulder followed by Bucky carrying the other end on his. The box springs are taking up the majority of the living room right now and there’s very little room for this mattress. Bucky and Steve drop it to the floor.

“Where are the frames?” Shaye asks before they can head out again.

“Ass and Wipe are with them on the truck,” Bucky says.

“Super,” Shaye mumbles.

“Come on, we just have the mattress and the frames and we’re done,” Bucky says heading out again. Steve takes Shaye’s hand and laces their fingers together.

“I didn’t mean to snap, Shaye.”

“I know, baby. They have you pissed off, not me. I know,” she says pulling him to her. She puts her arms around him and he hugs her tightly.

“Go on,” she says gently, “before Bucky throws one of them into traffic just to do it.”

He gives her a weak smile and heads out. Shaye looks at the box springs and mattress on the floor. The box springs are encased in thick plastic. She pushes on one and it slides easily.

“Good,” she says pushing it towards the bedrooms. “Let’s see if we can make some room.”

She gets the first and second piece of one of the split box springs into Steve’s room and half of the other set into Bucky’s room. She just walked into the living room when they come back in.

“I’m not paying for delivery. This is fucking ridiculous,” Bucky snarls as he and Steve drop this mattress on the floor.

“Where are the box springs?” Steve asks puzzled.

“I moved them to make room. The first set is in your room. I only got the first part into Bucky’s,” Shaye explains. The boys blink at her a few times, their expressions almost comical.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Steve tells her. “We’re going to take care of it, sweetheart.”

“We were running out of room so I made some. I was able to stand them up so they aren’t taking up a shit ton of space in the room. Where are Frick and Frack?”

“Guarding the frames still. I don’t feel like arguing with these two assholes anymore,” Steve states.

“Don’t hurt yourself moving this stuff, baby. If you can’t do it, don’t. We’ll take care of it,” Bucky says caressing her face.

“I’m going to move this one and then go check the laundry,” she says.

“Don’t overdo it,” Steve says reiterating what Bucky told her.

“I’ll be alright. Get those two assholes out of here,” Shaye says giving them a big smile. They both grin and head out again. She pushes the last of the box spring pieces into Bucky’s room, stands it up and then goes to the elevator to check the laundry.

The sheets are dry, thankfully. She grabs them and heads back to the elevators. She’s not paying attention to her surroundings, scooping and gathering the sheets repeatedly in her arms to keep them from falling on the ground. She’s regretting not folding them in the laundry room.

“You got some mouth on you, girlie.”

Shaye freezes and looks around. She sees the idiot delivery guy standing next to the stairwell. She looks around quickly. No one else is down here. The only way back up is the elevator which is currently engaged elsewhere or the stairs which this fucker is blocking. He takes a menacing step towards her. She instinctively backs up. He probably outweighs her by at least fifty pounds.

“Where you going? Your boys ain’t here now,” he says taking another step. She holds the sheets closer. She glances at what floor the elevator is on. It’s still stuck several floors above her. He starts to close in on her, forcing Shaye to retreat back further into the laundry area where she’ll have nowhere else to go. She’s scared. She looks past him to see if she could get past him to the stairs…

“Come on, girlie, let’s put that mouth to good use,” he says lecherously as he quickens his pace to close the distance between them.

Shaye makes the hasty decision to try and run past him. She hugs the sheets, her only form of comfort right now, and darts to his right. He lunges for her, but she’s too quick, slipping past him and to the stairwell entrance.

“Get back here, bitch!” he snarls. She throws open the door and runs up the stairs. She hears the door open behind her and she looks to see how close he is. She runs into what feels like a brick wall and nearly falls back on her ass. She’s caught by Steve.

“Steve! Oh god!” she cries when she realizes who it is.

“Are you okay?” he asks cupping her face. She tries to look over her shoulder, but he won’t let her.

“Y-yes,” she stammers. He looks past her, his blue eyes full of fire and fury.

“Go upstairs to the next floor and get on the elevator. Go back to the apartment with Bucky,” he instructs. He doesn’t look at her when speaks, his focus on his prey.

“Go,” he says, moving her past his position on the stairs. She runs and doesn’t look back. She gets to the main floor and heads to the elevator. She beats on the button until the elevator doors finally open. She presses the button for their floor then holds the door closed button, pleading with the goddamn doors to just fucking close.

The elevator opens on her floor and she runs off and down the hall to their apartment.

“Jesus Christ! What happened? Are you okay?” Bucky demands as soon as she’s inside. She drops the sheets on the floor and bursts into tears.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, baby. You’re safe,” he says gathering her into his arms and holding her tightly. She grabs handfuls of his shirt holding them, afraid to let go.

“Shaye?”

“She’s right here. What the fuck happened?” Bucky demands. “She’s fucking shaking, Steve. She’s crying and she’s shaking.”

“Who did you order the beds from?” Steve asks. Shaye feels another set of hands on her and she jumps.

“Easy, easy,” Bucky whispers.

“It’s me, Shaye. It’s okay. We’ve got you, you’re safe now,” Steve says gently. She looks up from Bucky’s chest where she’s left tear stains on his shirt.

“What happened?” Bucky asks again impatiently.

“You were on your way up with the frames when I noticed the asshole was missing. I asked his friend where he went. He didn’t realize the other guy was gone. I went after Shaye,” Steve explains. Shaye can hear the anger in his voice. She can hear Bucky’s heartbeat increase.

“Did he touch you, Shaye?” Bucky asks lifting her chin. She shakes her head no. She feels Steve pulling her off of Bucky and into his arms.

“Where is he now?” Bucky asks angrily.

“On his way back under whatever rock he crawled out of,” Steve says. Steve’s rocks her slowly from side to side while he rubs her back. She’s finally calming down. She feels safe now.

“You let him go?”

“I caught him and pinned him to the wall by his throat. He pissed himself, I let him go, he ran off,” Steve says. She lets go of the death grip she has on Steve’s shirt and wipes her eyes. Bucky is rubbing her neck and shoulders while Steve continues to keep her locked in his arms.

“I want you to have something to drink, baby. Just a shot of bourbon to settle you down a little,” Bucky says softly. She wipes her eyes again and looks at them.

“Go get it for her, Buck. No more than a shot.”

“One shot. That’s it,” Bucky confirms heading to the kitchen.

“Let’s go sit down on the couch,” Steve says letting her go. She feels a surge of panic when his hold breaks.

“I’m right here. It’s okay,” he promises putting his arm around her waist and guiding her to the couch.

“I’m sorry,” she says feeling foolish.

“Don’t. You have every right to be scared,” he says gently. He puts his arm around her and pulls her against his chest. Bucky comes out of the kitchen holding a tumbler with her shot of bourbon.

“Here, baby,” he says handing it to her. It smells like turpentine and nail polish remover. She knows it’s going to taste as bad as it smells, but she downs the shot and then coughs and shudders as it ignites a path to her stomach.

“Not a bourbon girl, huh?” Bucky says trying to get her to smile a little.

“It’s foul,” she tells him. Bucky smiles a little and drops to a squat in front of her. He studies her for a bit and then he looks at Steve.

“Are you okay, Shaye? Aside from being scared, are you okay?” Steve asks her. She looks at Bucky and then sits up from Steve. He doesn’t let her go. They’re both looking intently at her.

“He scared me and I panicked. I wasn’t expecting...I just wanted to get the goddamn sheets,” she says. “I’m sorry. I didn’t do anything but go get the sheets.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Shaye,” Bucky states. “I’m going to call this outfit and see what I can find out. I want to make sure this shitbag never gets a chance to do this again.”

Bucky gets up, kisses the crown of Shaye’s head and gets his phone. He stalks off into the kitchen with the empty tumbler to make the call.

Steve gets up, gets the sheets off of the floor and tosses them onto the recliner. He sits back down and puts his arm around her again. She leans against his chest again. He runs his fingers through her hair, pulling it back from her face.

“This isn’t what we wanted to have happen, Shaye. This...we wanted you to have a good time, be happy, have fun. Not this,” Steve says apologetically.

“How did you know?”

“I just did. When he wasn’t outside at the truck and I knew you were going to the laundry room...I can’t explain it, sweetheart. I just knew I had to find you.”

“Some of it’s training,” Bucky says coming back into the living room. His eyes are dark and she can see he’s still seething about this. “You learn to assess and analyze threats. Some of it is gut instinct. He went with his gut. I’m glad he did, baby.”

“So am I,” she says and sighs.

“I’m sorry, Shaye,” Steve says softly.

“We both are, baby. We didn’t want this.”

They’re both distraught over this.

“You made your point about knowing where I am at all times,” she says shakily. “I won’t argue with you on that again.”

 

Chapter

Bucky and Steve are sitting on the couch finishing their drinks. It took a while to get Shaye calmed down. They sat on either side of her taking turns holding her, playing with her hair, rubbing her arms or the tops of her legs. She’d stopped shaking and just sat quietly between them like she was zoned out. Steve had finally asked her if she was alright and she’d answered that she was, her voice had trembled when she spoke, though. Bucky got her a bottle of water and she’d nursed that for a while.

Bucky had waited a little longer and then told her she needed to eat something. Steve had told her they would get her anything from anywhere. Bucky was quick to see the panic starting to settle on her again and promised that they would order in, they wouldn’t have to go anywhere. She had agreed and they ordered dinner. She ate only a very little bit, she just seemed to want to stay between the two of them.

Right now she’s in the shower. Bucky is hoping that helps soothe her a little more.

“I can’t fucking believe this happened,” Steve mutters looking at his beer bottle. “I just cannot.”

Bucky downs the last of his beer and reaches for another one.

“I called Natasha,” Bucky says as he pops the bottle open with his left hand. “She’s taking care of that fucking waste of skin.”

“I figured you weren’t calling the mattress company when you went to the kitchen,” Steve says.

“I don’t know how to get her past this, Steve,” Bucky says after several minutes of silence.

“I don’t know either, Buck. I don’t know what to do. All I know is I don’t want her to be scared and I don’t want to lose her.”

Bucky looks at his beer bottle and sighs. There may not be an option for a happy ending here for them.

 

Chapter

Shaye steps out of the shower and grabs the huge, ultra soft towel Steve had gotten for her. She dries her hair roughly and then wraps the towel around herself. She wipes the steam from the mirror and absently combs her hair.

She’d gotten lucky today. Damn lucky. That pig had come after her. He’d followed her to the basement when she went to get the laundry. Steve had come looking for her and saved her. He’s sent her to Bucky for safekeeping and the two of them have coddled her since. But now what? She became a target within a few hours of arriving home with them. She was lucky they were here. What happens when they aren’t here to rescue her?

She realizes she’s crying and hastily wipes the tears from her face. She sits on the toilet and tries to pull herself together. She reminds herself she’s been through crazy shit before and had to deal with it on her own. There was no one there to come to her rescue, save the police and the courts. She’d been left to deal with the aftermath on her own, choosing not to involve Katie and Jimmy and spare them the bullshit.

Steve had asked her if there was a chance that moving to Quantico or any other place wouldn’t end up with her being left alone, hurt and with no one to turn to. She’d ultimately be alone if something were to happen. What happened in the basement today...could it happen in Atlanta? Chicago? D.C.? Any number of places she’s applied to? Even the small town where she lives isn’t immune to this shit - she’d be stupid to think it was.

Jimmy had told her once that you can either be a rabbit and live in fear or be a lion and forge ahead. Maybe it’s time to stop being the goddamn rabbit.

Chapter

Shaye emerges from the bathroom still thinking about what Jimmy had told her. Rabbit or lion?

After the failed relationships, the stalker and the control freak Shaye had run from any potential suitors she encountered. She was scared she’d end up making the same mistakes again or end up in even worse situations.

The Fates had decided to intervene by giving her that trip to New York and subsequently meeting Bucky.

Now she’s here. Was this a test of her resolve to see if she would flake out and run away again?

She looks at her hands. They’re still shaking, but she didn’t run back to Pennsylvania. She didn’t run. She doesn’t want to run. She wants to stay. She wants to stay with Bucky an Steve.

 

Chapter

Steve is making up the bed in his room and Bucky is making up the bed in his room. They want everything ready to go so all Shaye has to do is choose where they will sleep.

Steve shakes out the comforter over the bed and smooths it out. He feels sick. Physically and emotionally ill. They convinced Shaye to come home with them in hopes she would want to move in. They told her she would be safe with them. Look what happened. She was only here a few hours and she became a target. What would have happened if she wasn’t able to get away from that asshole? What would have happened if Steve didn’t get to her in time?

His stomach churns angrily. He doesn’t want her to leave. He thinks that if she leaves that will be it, they will never see or hear from her again. She’ll be gone forever.

It’s the last thought that tears at him the most. Knowing how hard and how fast he fell for her. There wasn’t any doubt in his mind he wanted to be with Shaye. Being around her feels right, it feels good. She doesn’t judge him. He can be himself around her, he can relax with her. To think that it’s about to be lost because of what happened today…

He sits on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands letting the pain and despair drown him.

 

Chapter

Bucky finishes putting the sheets on the bed and looks at the weighted blanket. The label on the plastic containing the blanket tells about how it helps with anxiety. He doubts it will work. Not at this level. Not when his world is about to be shattered along with his heart.

He pulls the blanket from the package. It’s soft and heavy, the blanket is super thick. He puts it down and looks around his room. He realizes how much he’s isolated himself from the world. The room is devoid of color save the sheets and blanket now. Even his holsters and weaponry appear drab and dull.

He would have stayed isolated, too, but then he saved Shaye from getting hit by a taxi. Her grey eyes, the way she blushed when he smiled at her, the warmth in her voice when she spoke.

He had hoped she would take his suggestion about Nona’s, though at the time he didn’t understand why he felt the need to suggest this to her. But when he saw her at Nona’s he knew it was more than just a chance meeting. He was supposed to keep her from walking into traffic, he was supposed to suggest Nona’s to her, he was supposed to drag Steve there for lunch and find her, they were supposed to spend the day together. Everything happens for a reason.

He thinks about what happened to Shaye now and the darkness he’s fought for so long begins to consume him.

 

 

Chapter

Bucky gets up from the bed and rubs his face. He heard the bathroom door open which means she’s going to be coming into his room looking for her clothes.

Sure enough there’s a faint knock on the door.

“You’re alright, baby,” he tells her. She pushes the door open a little further and peers inside. Her hair is damp leaving wet marks on her tank top where the longest pieces touch. Her grey eyes hint at something but he can’t make out what it is.

“Are you alright?” she asks stepping into the room. She’s got her dirty laundry in one arm and her towel in the other. “I didn’t know where to put this,” she says motioning to the towel.

“The towel thing is next to the shower. Was at least. Maybe Steve moved it or never put it back. You can just put your clothes wherever.”

She looks at her clothes and then back to him.

“You’re not going to answer my first question are you?”

He licks his teeth and considers an appropriate answer to this question and the _are you alright_ question.

“It’s not me I’m worried about, Shaye.”

“No?”

“No. Yes. I don’t know,” he says feeling confused now and sitting down. He sees her shift nervously.

“Remember when you said I could ask you anything?”

“Yeah. You were playing with my hair. I told you could ask so long as you kept doing that,” he replies. She’s chewing on the inside of her cheek, he thinks about asking her to stop, but can’t.

“If I play with your hair can I ask you something?”

This off the wall request makes him smile faintly. She’s trying to bargain with him because of what he said earlier.

“You don’t have to play with my hair, baby. Just ask. It’s fine,” he assures her in a gentle tone.

She takes a deep breath and asks, “Can I stay or do you want me to leave?”

His jaw drops when he hears this.

“That’s...that’s not my call, baby. That’s up to you.”

“Actually, it is your call since this is your place and I would be staying here. Well, your call and Steve’s.”

“You know the answer.”

She looks at her clothes, her expression is dark.

“No, I really don’t. I wouldn’t have asked if I did.”

He gets up from the bed, takes her clothes and the towel from her and chucks them off to the side. If she’s willing to stay, then goddammit, he’s going to take her up on the offer.

“I want you to stay,” he says lifting her chin so she has to look at him. Her grey eyes show pain and fear, but he sees a spark of determination there, too. It’s that spark that’s driving her now, he thinks.

She throws her arms around him and hugs him tightly. He pulls her close, scoops her up and sits down on the bed with her in his lap, the two of them holding each other quietly for a few minutes. He’s not sure if he’s dreaming or not, if he fell asleep and this is just his subconscious effort to cling to Shaye. But she feels real, the weight of her on his legs, the feel of her bare legs under his hand, the way she has her breasts pinned against his chest...he’s got one hell of an imagination if this is a dream. He decides to tempt fate and find out.

“Are you sure you want to stay, Shaye?”

“Yes.” No hesitation, no delay, her response was instant and certain.

She kisses his temple, her lips pressing softly against the skin and scars. This isn’t a dream, thank god.

“Where’s Steve?”

“In his room or in the living room, I think,” Bucky says running his fingers down her neck and over her collarbone. She smiles and kisses him on the lips. Her lips are so soft and inviting. He’s still not entirely convinced he’s not dreaming at this point. After the shit that went down today she’s asking to stay…

“Can we go see him? You seem slightly elated I’m staying,” she says with a hint of playfulness. He grins, lifts her chin, presses his lips to hers and snakes his tongue into her mouth.

“I’m more than slightly elated, wiseass,” he says when the break from each other. “I’m fucking ecstatic. I didn’t think you’d stay after...baby, we didn’t expect that, we didn’t know -“

”I know. I get it,” she says leaning her head against his. “It’s not your fault and it’s not Steve’s.”

He kisses her softly again and lets her slide from his lap. He runs his hands over her hips and then stands up himself. They go to see Steve together.

 

Chapter

Bucky knocks on Steve’s door and starts to push it open before Steve has a chance to answer.

“Buck.”

Shaye hears Steve’s voice - it’s thick and sounds choked.

“Jesus, kid,” Bucky groans going into the room. Shaye lingers in the hall for a moment. She can hear Bucky talking in a very low voice to Steve, but she can’t make out what he’s saying, only that his tone is almost like a father or older brother. She hears Steve cough really hard then gag a little. She decides to take her chances and steps into his room.

Steve is sitting on the edge of the bed with his head down and his hands between his knees. Bucky is standing beside him with his hand on Steve’s shoulder.

“Steve,” he says gently. Steve looks up at him and Shaye can see he’s a fucking wreck.

She goes to him and puts her hand on his face. He leans into her touch then puts his hands on her hips and pulls her into a bear hug, burying his face into her chest. She holds him, rubbing his back and his neck occasionally. She looks at Bucky who can only shake his head. Steve is at the point Bucky was that night at her place.

“Tell him what you told me, baby,” Bucky whispers to her.

“Baby,” she says as gently as possible. “Look at me.”

He lifts his head at her request. She caresses his cheek and he shuts his eyes for a moment.

“Shaye,” Bucky urges.

“Steve, I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to go home yet. I want to stay. Can I stay?” she asks him. She gave Bucky the courtesy of asking if he wanted her to stay, it’s only fair to give Steve the same.

Steve’s blue eyes darken, his brow furrows.

“Shaye? Really?” She can hear the disbelief in his voice.

“She wants to stay, kid. She’s asking you if she can,” Bucky tells him. Steve blinks a few times and then buries his face back into her chest.

“Please stay,” he whispers hoarsely. “Please. I want you to stay. Don’t go.”

“I’ll stay, baby,” she says softly. She starts to rub his back again. Bucky puts his hand at the base of Steve’s skull and kneads there a few times.

“Relax, kid. Like you tell me, you have to relax and try to move past whatever is eating you.” Bucky’s got that big brother tone going again. She looks at Bucky and sees the the adoration he has for Steve and the concern. Steve told her they were like brothers. He wasn’t kidding.

Steve coughs again and this time ends up dry heaving. He panics and pushes back away from Shaye, forcibly moving her to the side so he has a clear path. He’s losing the battle with his stomach.

“Go get rid of it, Steve,” Bucky tells him. “Get it out.”

Steve groans, but he gets off the bed and heads for the bathroom. Shaye sits on the bed and rubs her arms.

“He made himself sick,” she says thinking out loud.

“He’s worked up over what happened. The idea of losing you after we finally convinced you to come up here...we don’t want to lose you, Shaye.”

Shaye knows the guys are taking this incident hard. They all want this to work. Now it’s just a matter of picking up and moving on. That and getting Steve to calm down.

“I’m not going anywhere, Bucky. Not till Wednesday, at least,” she says.

“You’re sure?” Steve asks appearing in the doorway.

“Are you?” she asks. He nods his head yes. Bucky taps her on the shoulder and tilts his head towards the head of the bed and the pillows. He gets on the bed, props up some of Steve’s pillows and leans against them, then tugs on Shaye’s arm till he’s able to pull her over between his legs. She positions herself so she’s sitting up leaning against his chest. He kisses just below her ear lobe. She smiles and opens her arms, beckoning Steve to them. He crawls onto the bed and into her arms. He drops onto his stomach, then rolls onto his side, burying his face into her chest. He draws his knees up and takes her hands. He shifts a little so she can hold him, taking one of her hands and entwining his fingers with hers. It breaks her heart to see him like this. He sighs deeply and closes his eyes. Bucky puts his hand on Steve’s shoulder, giving it the occasional reassuring squeeze.

“You okay, Steve?” Bucky asks after a little bit.

“You’re staying, Shaye?” Steve asks.

“Yes, baby,” she says and rubs his side.

“I’m good,” Steve answers. Bucky laughs a little then nuzzles his face against Shaye’s neck. His stubble tickles her and she squirms a little. Steve squeezes her hand gently and kisses the exposed part of her chest at the breast line.

“Thank you, Shaye,” he says quietly.

“For what?”

“This.”

“Shhh...let him go,” Bucky whispers in her ear. He turns on the TV and lowers the volume, much like a father with a sleeping child would. Shaye is both amused and touched by the dynamic between the two men. Steve is very protective of Bucky. She witnessed that first hand the night Bucky told her his story. Then Bucky had the nightmare and Steve did what he could to help calm Bucky down. The two of them have been friends so long that they’re almost blood related now.

It occurs to Shaye that Steve and Bucky are all that is left of their time. All they have in this world is each other. The invited her into their lives to become a part of it.

She strokes Steve’s hair softly. He stirs a bit, sighs and his weight on her increases as he falls deeper into sleep. Bucky knew this would happen, that Steve would crash if they did this. That’s why he had them sit this way so he could hold her and she could hold Steve to help him calm down.

“He used to be sick all the time when we were younger,” Bucky says, keeping his voice down. She leans her head back and kisses his jaw.

“You took care of him,” she says hoping he’ll continue.

“Tried to. I tried to keep the little shit out of trouble. He’s always had this thing about doing the right thing even if it meant getting his ass beat on a routine basis.” Bucky huffs a laugh as he remembers the details. He rubs Steve’s arm a bit, Steve sighs but otherwise doesn’t move.

“He wanted to join the army,” Bucky continues after a moment. “Come hell or high water he was going to get in. When he found out I got in he doubled his efforts. When the war started...he went nuts. He’d go to different recruiting locations and tell them he was from wherever, but they’d fail him each time. He was so skinny and frail, he had a myriad of issues. His heart was was in the right place, but his body wasn’t up to snuff.”

Steve stretches his legs out, shifting in Shaye’s arms a bit and then further smothers himself in her breasts. She shakes her head and rubs the back of his neck.

“He likes tits,” Bucky says.

“Clearly. Keep going,” she tells him. He kisses the back of her head.

“The night I got my orders he vanished. I didn’t see him again before I got shipped out. I was pissed. Next time I saw the shit head they’d loaded him up with that goddamn serum and he looked like he does now. I thought I had lost my damn mind when I saw him.”

“I saw pictures of you and him at the museum. Your hair was shorter.”

“I can cut it if you think it looks better.”

She leans back so she can give him her patented “the fuck is wrong with you” look.

“No,” she says shaking her head at him. “Why would you care what I think about your hair?”

“So you like how I look?” he asks. His tone is innocent and confused.

“Jesus, Bucky, I like how you look now. Do you not remember how badly you made me blush and how fucked up you had me on the corner that day we met?”

He chuckles a little.

“Yeah. That was the first time in forever I’d made a dame blush just by smiling at her.”

“There you go. Obviously I like the way you look.”

“Smartass,” he mumbles. He runs his fingers from his left hand down her neck and then over her shoulder and down her arm. The metal is cold, but his touch is light and delicate. She’s amazed at how deft he is with that hand.

“Does this bother you?” he asks. She’s a little surprised by the question.

“Your arm? No. Why would it?”

He lowers his hand so she can see him flex his fingers.

“Because it’s not normal. It’s not flesh and bone. It’s…”

She puts her hand in his.

“It’s part of you. It doesn’t bother me, honey.”

“You’re a beautiful soul, doll. You really are,” he says and then kisses her neck.

“Not really, but okay,” she says joking with him. He rubs the stubble on his chin on her neck. She squirms and Steve growls at them.

“Look what you did,” Bucky teases.

“Me? You disturbed the sleeping lion.”

“Lion?” Bucky repeats. “Alright, Dorothy.” She can hear the amusement in his voice.

“You’re an ass,” she says shaking her head and trying not to laugh.

“Yeah right. If he’s the goddamn Lion and you’re Dorothy that makes me -”

“The Mayor of Munchkinland,” she says before he can finish. Steve starts laughing. Bucky promptly flicks him at the base of the skull. Steve swats at Bucky, misses, and goes right back to laughing.

“Asshole,” Bucky grumbles.

“Mayor,” Steve mumbles from Shaye’s tits. Shaye is laughing at them both.

“How are you feeling, baby?” she asks him. He runs his hand over her leg and rolls over onto his back, keeping his head on her chest.

“I’m alright. I just don’t want you to be disappointed or mad at us, Shaye. We want you to stay.”

“Honey, I’m not mad or disappointed in you or Bucky. I have no reason to be.”

Steve sits up and then sits so he’s facing Shaye and Bucky. He runs the back of his hand over her cheek.

“We can start over and try again tomorrow, sweetheart.”

“Where do you want to go, baby?”

Bucky puts his arms around her waist and Steve takes her hands. They both seem overly eager to make things work.

She lifts Steve’s chin and studies his face. He’s still a little pale.

“Are you sure you’re alright, Steve?” she asks. He smiles tiredly.

“You don’t have any color to your face still, kid. Like back in the day,” Bucky tells him. Steve rolls his eyes.

“I’ll be alright. I took it hard. I figured you’d want to leave after what happened. Are you okay? I guess that’s what I should be asking.”

“You seem to be okay, baby, right?” Bucky asks. He kisses her neck just under her ear.

“I’m good. I’m worried about this punk,” she teases, poking Steve lightly in the chest. He grins a little.

“I know you were scared, baby…”

“You know we wouldn’t let anything happen to you -”

“Guys, stop. I got scared. I wasn’t expecting some creeper to come after me in a goddamn laundry room -”

“We promised you’d be safe,” Steve interjects.

“And you did. You kept anything from happening to me,” she argues. “The point is that no matter where I go something like this can happen. Doesn’t matter if I’m here with you or on my own in another city. You’re not at fault. Stop beating yourselves up over this. You especially, Captain Steven Rogers.”

“Grant,” Bucky says. Steve narrows his eyes at him.

“What?”

“His full name,” Bucky continues, “is Steven Grant Rogers.”

“You are a royal asshole, James Buchanan Barnes,” Steve grouses.

“Stop beating yourself up, Steve. Please,” she says caressing his face. He nods his head in agreement.

“What do you want to do tomorrow?” he asks again.

 

Chapter

Steve wakes up in the morning with Shaye draped over his chest, sound asleep, her head just under his collarbone. He looks to his left and sees Bucky on his stomach laying halfway up her back. He has no idea how either of them or comfortable enough to sleep like that. He realizes her back is bare. At some point the tank top came off last night. Jesus, did he sleep through that? What the hell? He runs his fingers over the area of her back he can reach. Her skin is so soft and inviting. He thinks he could lay here for days and just run his hands over her body reveling in the feel of her skin.

He thinks about last night. She and Bucky had come in here to try and calm him down. Hearing her say she wanted to stay was everything to him last night. She had held him and then made him laugh with her Mayor of Munchkinland joke. They had gone to bed shortly thereafter, Bucky and Steve both holding her between them.

He runs his fingers through a lock of her hair. She doesn’t move or wake up. He sees Bucky moving slowly and carefully off of her.

“She asleep?” Bucky asks groggily.

“Yeah,” Steve says keeping his voice just above a whisper. Bucky sits up and cracks his neck then stretches his arms. Steve can hear his elbow and shoulder pop on his right side.

“You okay, kid?” Bucky asks. He leans back against the pillows and puts his hand on Shaye’s sheet covered ass and rubs slowly.

“I’m good. When did she lose her shirt?”

“She lost her shirt?” Bucky asks sounding surprised. Clearly he didn’t know about it either. He sees Bucky’s eyes widen and he runs his fingers over her lower back.

“She took it off because no one else was wearing one,” Shaye mutters. Steve sees Bucky smirk and Steve is grinning, too.

“You can’t be comfortable, doll,” Steve says rubbing her back. Bucky goes back to rubbing her ass.

“Wait a minute…” Bucky mumbles. Steve can feel Shaye giggling on him. Bucky pulls back the sheets and she’s not just topless, she’s bottomless as well.

“So...why’d you take off the panties?” Bucky asks.

“And not tell anyone?” Steve adds since that’s the more important question. She’s really laughing now.

“I do enjoy being around you two,” she giggles.

“You enjoy teasing us with dumb shit like this,” Bucky says rubbing the back of her thighs. She lifts her head and moans. Steve is hard the instant she moans. Bucky runs his hands up between her legs making her moan more. She slides her hand down Steve’s chest to his cock. He hears a delighted mewl as she touches him. He looks over at Bucky and smacks him on the arm to get his attention. He nods towards her bare body, Bucky skews an eyebrow at him, and Steve shakes his head.

“Why don’t you lay on your belly in the middle of the bed, sweetheart?” Steve whispers to her. She stops toying with his cock, lifts her head and turns to face him. She looks disappointed. He smiles reassuringly.

“Come on, baby,” Bucky coaxes. She growls at them and Steve has to fight the urge to just roll her over and fuck her brains out.

She lifts herself off of him and then flops back down so she’s laying in the middle of the bed, her face buried in the pillows. Bucky is watching him to see what he’s going to do.

Steve runs his hand down her back slowly, applying just a little pressure as he goes. He runs his hands over her ass, squeezing and then continuing down to her legs. He pushes her legs further apart. Bucky flings the sheets and blankets off the edge of the bed to completely expose her body to them.

“You okay, Shaye?” Steve asks before he continues. She spreads her legs further, a clear indication she’s good to go. Bucky has a pleased grin on his face.

Steve slides his fingers down her ass and then between her legs. He can feel the heat radiating from her, feels her leg muscles tense as he runs his index and middle finger along the outside of her pussy. She moans softly. Bucky strokes her inner thigh on the leg closest to him then works his way to her ass again. He smacks her just hard enough she jumps and gasps. She pulls her legs up so she’s on her knees, ass in the air, legs wide open.

“Easy, beautiful, easy,” Steve says softly. “Not yet. I want to see you drip. I want to see how wet that pussy gets.”

“Steve,” she whines.

“You’re in for a treat, kid,” Bucky says rubbing her ass. Steve runs his fingers around her heat, rubbing her clit softly, making her squirm and moan more.

Bucky presses on her lower back till she straightens her legs and is flat on her stomach again. Steve starts kissing the back of her leg from just above the ankle, working his way up slowly. He glances over and sees Bucky doing the same. Good. He can see her clenching at the pillows by her face, her legs shaking with each kiss they put down on her.

They get to her ass. Steve leans over her and rubs his boxer clad erection between her cheeks. She does this moaning growl as he dips down again. His cock twitches angrily, his balls draw up and he has to will himself to settle down.

“Oh god,” Bucky groans. Steve can hear the need in Buck’s voice and looks over at him. He’s got his hand on his cock and is stroking himself, having already stripped down to nothing. Now it’s a test of wills to see who’s going to break first.

“Give us what we all want,” she purrs as she pulls her knees back and puts her ass back in the air. Steve looks to Bucky who is shaking his head no.

“No you don’t, baby,” he tells her. Steve moves and Bucky takes his place, rubbing his exposed cock over her thighs and along the smooth line of her ass. He goes back to his previous position next to her. Steve kisses his way up her back to her neck.

“On your back, sweetheart,” Steve whispers. He lays next to her and sees the fire in her grey eyes. She’s mad with desire. She gasps and Steve looks back to see Bucky is running his fingers between her legs enough to make her lunge backward. He takes his hand away and smacks her ass again.

She’s looking at Steve trying to figure out what he’s after.

“On your back, beautiful. I want to see you dripping for us,” he says with a smile. She grins, the desire in her eyes burning brightly. She looks down at his crotch and licks her lips.

“Sure you won’t let me lick all that off your cock?” she asks. His boxers are soaked with precum and the offer she made nearly breaks him.

“Tempting.”

“What’s did she tempt you with, Steve?” Bucky asks.

“To lick me clean,” he says. “On your back, baby.”

“Come on, doll,” Bucky urges as he lays on his side next to her. She rolls onto her back and grabs her tits. Steve takes her hands from her chest and licks her tit, Bucky does the same to the other side. Steve slides a hand between her legs. She’s soaked. He rubs his fingers over her clit then between her legs again. She writhes and moans. Bucky takes his hand and does the same, both of them alternating between rubbing her clit and rubbing the outside of her wet pussy. They keep doing this until Steve sees the wet spot on the sheet between her legs.

“Buck,” he says pointing to it. Bucky grins.

“One last thing before we give you what you want, Shaye,” Steve says kissing her.

“You two are assholes,” she growls at them.

“On your stomach, ass up,” Steve orders. Bucky flicks her clit, she arches up, her body begging for release.

“She’s got a puddle forming, Steve,” Bucky says sitting up. She flips over, puts her ass in the air and buries her face in the pillows. Steve sees Bucky’s eyes widen. He sits up and back and sure enough there’s a thin line of her sweetness hanging from her swollen lips. Bucky pulls her legs further apart.

“After you,” Bucky says. Steve runs his fingers outside of her wet pussy and then licks her. Shaye cries out, begging for more. Steve strips hastily. He licks her again, she’s saturated.

“How do you want us, beautiful?” he asks running his fingers deeper into her heat. She does that throaty growl and both he and Bucky moan.

“Inside me. I don’t care.”

“You first. I’ll wait,” Bucky says moving out of the way. He goes to the head of the bed and sits next to her. He gives her that shit eating grin as he makes a display of stroking himself.

“You’re done for,” she promises. “Steve…” Now she’s pleading.

He grabs her hips, gets up on his knees and aligns himself with her. He pushes into her and she clenches around him. His balls draw up, his abs tighten and he has to fight to keep from blowing his load.

“Damn, Shaye,” he moans.

“You don’t think I’m going to just get back at him, do you?” she asks. Steve looks at Bucky whose lips are puckered. She grinds her backside against him, contracting and releasing the walls of her pussy around his cock.

“Shaye...goddammit…” He grabs her hips and pulls out, flips her over onto her back, lifts her legs over his shoulders and goes deep till he can’t go any further. Her hands are at her breasts, squeezing and pinching her nipples as he thrusts deep into her again. He rocks his hips, rolling them with each thrust. Her moans get louder and longer. He pumps faster, freeing one of his hands to rub her clit. Her eyes roll up and close as she moans his name. He’s going to come, he can’t hold off much longer, but he wants her to finish, he wants to feel that body spasm she has when she comes. He rubs her clit faster, keeping time with his thrusts. He reaches down and rolls her clit between his fingers. That’s all it takes. She’s shaking and crying out his name, her body locking on him as he pumps into her, his cock delivering a much anticipated release.

“Oh god, Shaye,” he pants as he lowers himself on top of her body. He kisses her and she smiles lovingly as she runs her fingers along his jaw.

“It’s Bucky’s turn.”

 

Chapter

Bucky watches as Steve pulls out from Shaye, patiently waiting to get between her legs. He hears her sigh softly as Steve fully dismounts from her. She rolls onto her side and then sits up about halfway, just enough she can look at him with that devilish smile and that wicked spark in her eyes. He watches her eyes roam down his body to his cock. He wraps his hand around his shaft and makes a show of slow stroking himself a few times. He’s only vaguely aware of Steve on the other side of the bed watching them.

Shaye is on all fours now crawling towards him, eyeing him like a lioness does her prey before the kill. He stops stroking himself and tilts his head. He blinks and she pounces, straddling his lap, pressing her lips to his and fiercely seeking out his tongue with her own. The feel of her soaked pussy on his cock is maddening. She rubs against him over and over as she kisses him, lips, chin, jaw, neck...sometimes she’s grazing him with her teeth. He tries to position her on his lap so he can get inside her, but she won’t let him. She keeps her body down, grinding and rocking over his cock, but not leaving enough room for him to gain entry. He grabs her ass cheeks, squeezes them, tries to lift her, but she’s too smart for that. She locks her thighs and knees into him just this side of too hard. He grunts loudly and she swallows his complaint with her tongue in his mouth. He knows he could roll her onto her back and just have his way with her. He knows he could pick her up and drop her down onto his cock if he wanted to. He could pick her up and fuck her against the wall if he wanted. He chooses not to, letting her think she has the upper hand. He groans as she slides back further coating his balls in her sweet juices.

“You know I can just flip you over or pick you up and screw your brains out, right?” he growls. She dips low over his balls again, a sinister smile on her face.

“Oh?”

“You’re baiting me,” he moans as she bears down on his cock a little more while slowly sliding forward again. He grabs her thighs and yanks them open. She gasps and he lets go. She puts his hands back on her legs, the heated flush on her face giving away her excitement.

“How long can you hold her up for, Steve?”

“How long do you need?”

“Long enough that she comes in a tidal wave,” Bucky says. She’s breathing rapidly now, her whole body is hot. He see Steve move into position.

“Pick her up like I had her the other night, legs over your arms. Spread her wide open,” Bucky instructs. Steve lifts her up off of him and she helps Steve get her into position. Bucky gets on his knees and eyes where she is as opposed to where he needs her to be.

“Up a little if you can, kid,” he says. Steve lifts her up a bit higher. It’s perfect.

He moves over to them and sits back on his knees, hunching down a little till he’s at mouth level with her hot pussy. She’s trembling in Steve’s arms, the look of anticipation on her face driving him further into a frenzy. He’s going to get her off first. He buries his face between her legs, his tongue lapping the walls inside her pussy. Each lick and pass she trembles and squirms. He keeps going, gripping her thighs and pushing them further apart in Steve’s arms as he sucks on her clit for a moment before driving her mad with his tongue. She’s bucking in Steve’s arms, moaning wildly. He can feel and taste the fresh wave of her orgasm as it covers his lips and chin. Her legs are still quivering as he wipes his mouth and chin. She has her head back on Steve’s shoulder, she’s panting and fondling her tits.

“Done?” Steve jokes.

“Almost. Come here, baby,” he says taking her from Steve. He kisses her softly then lays her on her back, parts her legs with his and sinks his cock into her. She wraps her legs around his waist, pulling him in deeper and grinding up into him. He groans, thrusting faster and harder, pushing deeper into her till he feels his own orgasm is building rapidly.

He groans loudly, thrusting hard one last time as he comes. He lays on top of her and she runs her fingers through his hair. Steve lays next to them and she reaches for him.

Bucky closes his eyes and rests on her.

“Are you alright, beautiful?” he hears Steve ask.

“Tender, but damn good. You two make it worthwhile.”

Bucky laughs a little.

“Says the beautiful dame with the voracious sexual appetite,” Steve teases.

“Are you complaining?” she asks.

“You better say no, punk,” Bucky warns. This makes Steve laugh now.

“Definitely not complaining. I promise you there are no complaints. Except one.”

Bucky lifts his head and glares at Steve. If this kid fucks this up….

“Do tell,” she says flatly. She doesn’t sound eager to hear this even if she is asking to.

“ I want to hold you, too.”

“Fair enough,” Bucky says pulling out of Shaye finally. He slides off to her side and finesses himself into a position to comfortably hold her while giving her access to play with his hair. He closes his eyes and feels Steve shifting positions to get curled up on her other side.

“Better, sweetie?” she asks. Bucky opens his eyes, not sure which one of them she’s referring to.

“Yes,” he answers.

“Yeah,” Steve answers.

Bucky feels her fingers in his hair and closes his eyes again. This is bliss. This is a little slice of heaven. This is love. He drifts back off to sleep with a smile on his face.

 

Chapter

Shaye comes into the living room still drying her hair just as Steve walks into the apartment with his arms laden with grocery bags.

“Did you buy the story, baby?” She asks. He grins.

“We wanted to make you breakfast,” he says proudly. She’s touched.

“You don’t have to. I can make -“

“Our treat. Then we’ll go out,” Bucky says coming from the kitchen. “Did you get everything?” He asks Steve.

“What do you think?” Steve asks holding up the bags.

“Are you cooking for the army?” Shaye asks as she follows them into the kitchen.

“We got some extra stuff in case we get called so you have your basics here if you feel like making yourself something,” Steve explains. They’re planning ahead for her. They’re thinking of her needs for a _just in case_ scenario. She’s impressed and moved by this.

“Go finish drying your hair, sweetheart,” Steve says dropping the bags. Bucky catches her arm before she can take a step and kisses her. He’s got a happy grin that lights up his whole face. Steve takes her next, kisses her lips then her temple. He’s got nearly the same happy look on his face that Bucky does.

“You two are cute,” she says heading back to the bedroom to finish up.

She finishes fixing her hair and sits on the edge of Bucky’s bed. She’s thinking about them - Steve and Bucky - and the efforts they’re making to convince her to move up here with them. What about her stuff? What about her car? What about the interview in Quantico? Does she bypass it in hopes she locates something here? That seems foolish. The thought of living off of Steve and Bucky’s generosity until she finds a job makes her uneasy. How does she know she’ll even find a job close to where they are now? Better yet, let’s define close to where they are. The city is a goddamn behemoth.

She checks her email on her phone. No other responses from anyone she’s applied to and no one has called.

She’s here for another few days. She can search for jobs based on her current location. Bucky said she could borrow his laptop if she wanted to.

It dawns on her that she is seriously considering moving in with them.

She blinks a few times, her brain feels muddled. She can’t seriously be considering this...can she? Her heart isn’t confused like her brain is. She’s been avoiding acknowledging her growing feelings for Steve and Bucky. The fear of repeating past mistakes hangs heavy over her head, but the more she avoids those feelings the stronger they seem to get. She gave into her body’s desire and was not disappointed. Would it be so bad to give into her heart’s desire?

“Hey.”

Shaye jumps at the sound of Bucky’s voice.

“Sorry! It’s okay! It’s just me, baby,” he says gently. “Breakfast is ready. Are you okay?” he asks stepping into the room. She gives him a warm smile.

“Just thinking,” she says. He tilts his head and gives her that playful half grin.

“Want to tell me?” he asks. She gets a kick out of him when he’s being playful like this.

“Maybe.”

“Maybe?” he asks and then belly flops onto the bed behind her. She laughs because he’s a goddamn nut. He rolls onto his side, props his head up on his hand and grins.

“You’re a fucking mess,” she laughs. He nods his head.

“Yeah, but I’m your mess, baby.”

“I’m glad you are, handsome. You and Steve both.”

Now he’s really smiling.

“Come eat, baby. Steve and I want to take you to Ellis Island and a few other places today.”

“Are you going to leave enough time later to help me look for jobs around here?”

The smile fades from Bucky’s lips and she starts to panic.

“Seriously?” he asks sounding dubious.

“I was until I saw your face,” she says nervously. He blinks at her.

“No. Come here you,” he says grabbing her sides and pulling her backwards till she up against him. He’s grinning maniacally again.

“Does this mean you’re going to apply to said jobs?” he asks, taking her hand and playing with her fingers.

“That was the idea.”

“What idea? It’s time for breakfasts. I told you to come get her not hold her hostage,” Steve chides. Bucky flips him off.

“She wants to save some time today to look for jobs with us. Stuff she can apply to around here,” Bucky explains. Steve sits on the bed facing her, his blue eyes bright with excitement.

“Is this true?”

“Yes.”

Steve is silent, she can see he’s stewing on something. She looks at Bucky who’s looking at Steve quizzically.

“Does this mean you’re considering moving in now? Or maybe doing more than considering?” Steve finally asks. Bucky sits up straight, eager for her answer.

“Yes,” she says carefully. Steve is ecstatic and pounces on her, smothering her with kisses and random tit grabs while she laughs. He gets thumped in the arm by Bucky and he stops.

“What?” Steve barks punching Bucky in the left shoulder and immediately regretting it. He’s shaking out his hand now and Bucky is laughing at him.

“Dumbass,” Bucky snickers.

“Jerk. You’re going to move in?” Steve asks refocusing on Shaye.

“I didn’t say that.”

“But you’re thinking about it, right? Seriously thinking about it?” Bucky questions. She can hear how anxious they both are for her to say yes.

Shaye looks at Bucky then at Steve. They looks so goddamn hopeful. She wonders if they’re as smitten with her as she is with them.

“Keyword is thinking -” She can’t finish her sentence because now they’re both smothering her in kisses, gropes and pets. She’s laughing hysterically.

They let her go after a few minutes of this, both of them smiling and bouncing on the bed like hyper children.

“We’ll start really looking for a three bedroom, sweetheart.”

“What areas you want to look for work? We’ll find the best place there for us to live,” Bucky promises.

“Guys! Relax. Relax. Nothing is set in stone yet.”

“But you’re thinking about it! You know how badly we want you here with us, Shaye.” Steve is adamant about this.

“Tell us what you need us to dy, baby. Tell us what will help make this happen.”

“Tell us what worries you, what we can do. You know we won’t leave you. You know we’ll take care of anything -”

“Steven. James. Stop,” she says firmly. They cringe at the usage of their names.

“I said I was thinking about it. That’s it. I was thinking about what I need to do and what I would be willing to do. Don’t jump the gun. I don’t even know if there are any jobs here for me.”

They both start to smile again. She hasn’t deterred them in the least.

“But you are -”

“I will beat your ass, Steve,” she threatens. The threat fails. He’s more than just a little amused by the idea, sitting on the bed, grinning like a goddamn nut. She throws her hands up in exasperation. They grab her and pin her down between them, and then curl up next to her, both of them holding her tightly.

“We just want to be with you, Shaye. We want to have you here all the time,” Bucky says softly.

“I get it, guys,” she tells them. “I want to look. I just…” She doesn’t know how to explain her reservations about this or how daunting a move like this appears.

“There’s a lot to consider, Shaye. We understand. Whatever you need help with, whatever you need in general just tell us,” Steve says.

“Anything, baby. We want to help anyway we can,” Bucky agrees.

“How about we go eat breakfast?” she suggests. She hears Bucky snort and then laugh and Steve just shakes his head.

“Alright, but we’ll revisit this conversation later,” Steve promises.

 

 

Chapter

Steve has been on cloud nine all day. Waking up to Shaye being naked in bed, having some fun with her till she was literally so excited and keyed up she was dripping with anticipation (his balls throb every time he thinks about this), they’d fallen back asleep in her arms and when they all woke up she said she was seriously thinking about looking for jobs here. Steve knows - he just _knows_ \- that means she’s going to be moving in. She tried to argue saying she was just thinking it over, but he saw through that. He’s been calculating and planning since then. There’s a ton of things that will need to happen, things that all three of them will need to do, so she can move up here. He’s ready for it. He can’t remember the last time he felt this stupidly happy.

He and Bucky are standing off to the side so Shaye can meander around and look at the displays here on Ellis Island. She looks over at he and Bucky and gives them that sweet smile of hers. Steve’s heart beats a little faster. He’s in love, there’s no denying it and he’s not going to bother to try. He’s head over heels for Shaye.

“She’s an old soul,” Bucky muses. “She’s fascinated with anything from the thirties and forties.”

“Remember the picture she showed us on her phone?” Steve asks. They’re watching her take pictures of damn near every inch of the place.

“That New Years Eve party? Where she was all dolled up and looked like a goddamn dream?” Bucky asks. Steve nods. She’s at the Wall of Honor now, running her fingers over the names. He wonders if she has a family name on there.

“What about your speech about gut instinct last night?” Steve continues.

“Yes.”

“What’s that gut of your say about her?”

“My gut or my heart?” Bucky asks after a moment. Steve grins.

“Both.”

“She’s the one. What about you?”

“Same.”

“She wants to go shopping for food before we go home,” Bucky says. He’s got an amused smile on his face. There’s an elderly lady that has Shaye by the arm and is petting her hand. Shaye doesn’t seem phased and is smiling and talking to the lady.

“I just went shopping?” Steve is confused. He just bought them groceries. He wanted to take her out to dinner tonight.

“She wants to make us dinner.”

Steve feels his body temperature rise. That warm and fuzzy feeling he’s heard so much about.

“Did she tell you what she wanted to make?” Steve asks. He’s watching Shaye walk with the elderly lady who is now attached to Shaye’s arm and the random chump that has started following her. Shaye doesn’t seem to be aware of him yet.

“She didn’t say. Who the fuck is that asshole?” Bucky demands as he watches the chump continue to tail Shaye. He goes to intervene and Steve stops him.

“What the fuck?” Bucky snaps.

“Shut it. I need to see how observant she is. She’s safe, we’re right here.”

“Steve, she’s not a goddamn soldier. She’s not trained to do this shit. Nat would have found something or we would have seen it in that file she put together on Shaye.”

“I get that. I want her to learn to be aware of things, Buck. I need her to be able to detect a threat if we aren’t around.”

“May as well teach her self defense while we’re at it. She’s going to argue. You know that?”

“Maybe. Did she take that fucking pill?” Steve asks. He just remembered the damn thing. Bucky purses his lips and sighs.

“I don’t know. I didn’t see her take anything, she hasn’t said anything.”

“Shit. I’m going to try and bring up her seeing Bruce again,” Steve says. She’s coming over to them with her new friend followed by the chump. This guy has some balls…

“Hey, baby. You about finished?” Bucky asks.

“These are your friends? They seem like nice boys. Are you nice boys to my daughter? Her name is Marie,” the elderly lady says happily. Shaye looks sad but happy at the same time.

“Ma, don’t bother these people anymore,” the guy Steve and Bucky thought was a chump says. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes.

“Don’t,” Shaye says hastily. “It’s fine.”

“You were always a good girl, Marie. Do you like these boys?”

“I do. They’re very nice,” Shaye tells her.

“This is my daughter Marie,” she says again. Both Steve and Bucky smile. She’s elderly and clearly not aware of what’s going on.

“No, Ma, you’re Marie,” the guy says. “Don’t let her bother you anymore, Miss. You’ve been more than kind.”

“She’s no bother, honestly.”

“See? She’s a good girl,” Marie says petting Shaye’s hand. “Where is Edward?”

“I’m right here, Ma. Do you want to go home now? We can get you some lunch?”

“Yes. Marie, you be a good girl. Do right by those nice boys. Bye bye,” she says waving merrily. Steve and Bucky wave. Shaye is biting her lip, but she waves.

“Thank you again, Miss. God bless you,” Edward says escorting Marie away.

As soon as they’re gone Shaye is wiping her eyes.

“Aww, sweetheart,” Steve says pulling her closer to he and Bucky. They each put an arm around her.

“You made her day, baby. Don’t cry,” Bucky pleads. Shaye wipes her eyes again and looks up and smiles.

“She just came right up to me and told me she missed me and she’s so glad to see me. She took my hand and started telling me about how her parents came over on the boat and how she’d lied on some form to become a...what did she call it? Whack?”

“WAC. Women’s auxiliary corps,” Bucky says. “She’s as old as we are. Jesus Christ.”

“She told me about her family and she just…” She wipes her eyes again.

“Don’t cry, beautiful. She had a good time with you. You made her smile and made her happy. Even Edward seemed impressed. If we didn’t have enough reasons to fall for you, we’ve just found another one,” Steve says wiping away a tear.

“I told you, baby, you’re a beautiful soul. You can argue, but you’ll only contradict your own actions,” Bucky says trying to get her to smile a little more.

“You’re a dick,” she mumbles. Steve can see she’s trying not to smile and failing.

“Standard equipment,” Bucky tells her.

“Army issued?” she teases.

“You’re gonna get it,” he laughs. Steve rolls his eyes.

“Idle threats.”

“Nope. You are going to get it when we get home and it’s Bucky’s fault,” Steve tells her. This has the desired effect of raising her curiosity.

“Do tell.”

“Steve wants you to learn to be an assassin,” Bucky says throwing Steve under the bus now.

“Goddammit -”

“You’re kidding, right?” she asks.

“He’s being an asshole,” Steve grumbles.

“From my understanding that is also standard issue for you two,” Shaye retorts. Bucky’s lips pucker.

“Alright, smartass,” Steve laughs. “Bucky’s going to teach you self defense.”

“I don’t see that going over at all,” she says shaking her head.

“Why not?” Bucky asks.

“Self defense doesn’t involve penetrating various holes of my body with your cock,” she says seductively.

“Home. We need to go home,” Bucky groans. Steve has his hands behind his head, takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. He feels like he’s going to burst.

“You’re a brat,” Steve tells her. She smiles pleasantly.

“You two started it.”

“He started it,” Steve says pointing to Bucky.

“Piss off,” Bucky growls. She’s laughing now.

“Want to go to FAO?” Steve asks. He runs his fingers over her cheek. She closes her eyes when he does and opens them slowly. Bucky takes her hand and laces his fingers with hers.

“Sure. Can we go to Godiva today, too?” she asks. Steve and Bucky both smile grandly.

“Absolutely, baby.”

“Just...one question, Shaye,” Steve says stopping them. He needs to know about the pill.

“You have to play with my hair to ask questions. Bucky instituted this tax.”

“What the fuck?” Steve demands. Bucky is laughing and shaking his head.

“You really are a shit, doll,” Bucky tells her.

“Ask away, baby,” she tells Steve.

“Did you take your pill today?”

Her smile fades. Bucky stops laughing.

“I did. I took it before we left while I was in the bathroom. Why? Are you concerned about something?” There’s a dark undercurrent to her voice.

“We’re concerned about you, Shaye. That’s all. We don’t want anything to happen -”

“Like an unwanted pregnancy?” she cuts in. She’s irritated. “Don’t worry, guys. After the last miscarriage I was told the odds of me getting pregnant are slim to none. Don’t fret yourselves.”

She walks away from them before they have a chance to recover from the sucker punch she just hit them both with.

 

Chapter

Shaye heads outside into the blistery New York air. She’s pissed off. How dare they ask her about taking that goddamn pill. It’s not their business. They don’t seem worried about having to wrap their dicks when they’re fucking her brains out. Typical bullshit. Make sure you take care of not getting pregnant so we can have all the fun.

She walks around outside till she’s calm again. The cold air no longer welcoming against her heated skin, but biting and freezing her. She finds a bench and sits down. Now that she’s cooled off she regrets flying off at Steve and Bucky. She knows they’re all up in arms over the whole pill to regulate her cycles thing. Maybe them asking was just out of concern as opposed to “don’t let yourself get knocked up”. They’d asked her a million questions and then begged her to go see their doctor friend up here. That doesn’t really sound like two guys who only have their interests at heart, does it?

Her phone rings. She sees a number she doesn’t recognize come up. Could be a job interview. Maybe. She answers the phone.

“Where are you?”

“Who the hell is this?” she demands. She doesn’t recognize the voice. It’s female.

“Not important. They got called. Where are you? I’m coming to get you.”

“Okay, no you’re not and who the fuck are you?”

“Where. Are. You? You know what? Nevermind. I’ll find you.”

The line disconnects and Shaye is pissed off and confused. They got called? Bullshit. She calls Bucky. No answer. She calls Steve. No answer. Fuck off. She calls them both again. And again. And again. No answer.

“God-fucking-damn me,” she snarls.

“He hasn’t yet. You’re lucky I can trace your cell.”

Shaye sees a lean redhead approaching her. She’s all business.

“Who the fuck are you?”

“A friend of your boyfriends. Do you know how goddamn weird that is to say?”

“Fuck you.”

“No, I don’t want their sloppy seconds, thirds...how the hell does that work anyway?” the redhead asks.

“Try this. Go fuck yourself,” Shaye says coldly.

“Don’t have time. Am I taking you back to their place or not?”

“Oh my fucking god…” Shaye growls. “What the fuck?”

“Really? Let me give you an instant replay as it was told to me. They pissed you off, you stormed off, they got called a split second later, they called me to come find and collect you and make sure you got back to their place safely. They made me promise not to say take you home because there’s some confusion as to whether or not you’ll go to their place or back to East Bumfuck where you’re from.”

Shaye stares at the redhead, unsure if this is legit or if she’s up to her tits in some sort of weird espionage bullshit.

“East Bumfuck.”

“Someplace in Pennsylvania. I have your file. I’m the one that put it together. I’m the one that knows about the ex-boyfriend who beat the shit out of you and caused your issues with conceiving. I omitted that from the file I gave them. Since it wasn’t public record I figured you would tell them.”

“How the fuck did you find out about that if there was never a goddamn police report?”

“Research. I saw the medical records, what few you have. He’s in jail now, this fuckstick that did that shit to you. Have they seen the scar?”

“If they have they haven’t mentioned - goddammit! Is nothing in my life private?” she demands.

“Not when it comes to their safety, no.”

Shaye isn’t completely buying this. She calls Steve again. Then Bucky. No answer.

“They can’t answer the burners, they’re secured till they get back.”

“Burners?” Shaye repeats. The redhead’s composure breaks for a split second.

“You didn’t know. Goddammit you two,” she mutters cursing Steve and Bucky.  “I’m not doing this out here. Either come with me or don’t. I’m not your goddamn keeper.”

 

 

Chapter

Shaye sits in the passenger seat of the all black Audi. The redhead introduced herself as Natasha when they got into the car. Natasha has a fucking lead foot. Shaye has seen more bumpers up close than she cares to count.

“Still don’t believe me, do you.”

It’s not a question, she’s stating it as a fact.

“Should I?”

“Probably not. I wouldn’t.”

“But they trust you.”

“Steve does to an extent. Bucky knows better.”

“Jesus fucking Christ...why does Bucky know better?”

“He can tell you.”

“Fine,” Shaye says giving up.

They sit in silence till Natasha pulls up in front of the apartment building. She whips the Audi into a space and gets out. She moves with this fluid like grace that makes Shaye jealous. Shaye is now self conscious of how she moves, which she likens to a busted up tank. She gets out and follows Natasha inside.

They continue their silent streak until they get inside.

“Now will you tell me how you know?” Shaye demands. Natasha looks around at the ceiling and says nothing. Shaye is getting more irritated. At least she’s back in somewhat familiar settings.

“And why the fuck do you have a key?” Shaye asks suddenly. This makes Natasha smile, but she still doesn’t answer.

“So I can come visit,” she says after a moment. She shows Shaye her phone.

_Keep talking. Say nothing about them._

She points to the light in the ceiling. Shaye gets her phone out.

_You first._

Natasha glares at her.

“How did you end up with that piece of shit in the first place?” she asks. Shaye should have known this was going to be about her.

“A friend of ours set us up.”

“You need better friends,”  Natasha remarks as she climbs on a chair and dismantles the light fixture silently.

“Clearly.”

“I was referring to your friends, not theirs.”

“Oh. My mistake.”

“Are you like this with them?” Natasha asks.

“Only when deserved.”

“Why are your medical records so sparse?”

“I’m sorry I’m not rich enough to go see a doctor whenever the wind blows across my ass the wrong way.”

“Hostile.”

“Only when provoked,” Shaye states. Natasha finishes with the light fixture. She looks disappointed, maybe she didn’t find anything. She starts putting it back together.

“I pieced together your medical records. Lots of falls. Bruises. A concussion. A broken arm. Lacerations. Two recorded miscarriages. That’s where it stops, after that last one. There are notes indicating that the doctor suspected you’d had others, but were never seen for them.”

Shaye feels sick. This information that was private, that is her personal information, that is part of her past she wants to leave behind has now resurfaced.

“Do you want a medal?” Shaye asks. Her voice is thick. Her mouth is dry and it feels like there’s sand in her throat.

“How many went undocumented?” Natasha asks. She’s stopped doing whatever it is she’s doing to focus on Shaye.

“Go to hell.”

“I’m not your enemy. How many were there?”

“Why do you fucking care?”

“Because they care about you and you don’t seem to want to care about yourself.”

“Fuck off.”

“How. Many. Say it, Shaye. Tell my why the notes in your file show -”

“I don’t know.”

“How many?”

“I don’t know!”

“Do you care so little about them that you won’t take care of yourself?”

“Oh go fuck yourself,” Shaye snaps. “What the fuck ever.”

“It’s a serious question. They care about you. You don’t give a shit about yourself enough to care for your own personal health and therefore care nothing for them.”

“What the fuck do you want from me, lady?!”

“I’d have thought that obvious. Let them take you to our medical facility.”

 

Chapter

Steve is posted on the roof of one building. Bucky is on the roof caddy corner. Clint and Wanda are on the ground below.

“Any sign of them?” Steve hears Wanda ask in his earpiece.

“Negative.”

“Nothing,” Bucky replies. He can hear the misery in Bucky’s voice. He’s just as miserable. Trying to focus and stay focused on the task at hand seems impossible. His thoughts keep going back to Shaye. She’d had a miscarriage. She can’t conceive. She’s hurt. They had to leave before they could get to her. Bucky had called Natasha as a last resort. They don’t know where she is, if she went with Nat or if she just said fuck it and went home.

She’d had a miscarriage.

“Steve?”

“Here.”

“Focus, man,” Clint says chiding him.

“We have eyes on. Moving south, southwest,” Wanda says. Steve throws the signal to Bucky and they both start moving. They’ve been at this for forty-eight straight hours. If they can catch the target, if they can defuse the situation, they can head home tonight. That’s his goal.

“Eyes on,” Bucky growls. “Heading down.”

“Stay on him.”

“Heard. Watch my six.”

“I’ve got you covered,” Wanda tells him.

Steve flanks left staying high, Bucky is on the ground going right, and Wanda and Clint are headed down the middle.  This had better work.

“Target is immobilized,” Sam confirms. “We have the target and the package is secured.”

“Thank fucking Christ,” Bucky mutters. “Can we get the fuck out of here now?”

“I second that,” Clint says.

“Lets go,” Steve orders.

It’s almost six hours later when they finally leave and another eight till they get back to New York. It’s just after one Tuesday morning now. Neither of them have mentioned Shaye.

“I’ve got eight missed calls from her,” Bucky says looking at his phone.

“Seven,” Steve says looking at his. They remain silent. Steve knows Bucky’s thinking what he is - that Shaye left and they’re going home to an empty apartment. His heart aches. They didn’t want to leave her. Especially after…

“She had a miscarriage. I can’t imagine what she went through,” Bucky says softly. He’s turning the burner phone over and over again in his hand.

“She thought we were worried about her getting pregnant, Buck. She thought…”

“She hasn’t come to terms with the fact that we aren’t this other asshole or assholes that have hurt her, Steve.”

“She lost the baby.”

“She lost more than the baby, Steve. She lost a piece of herself. I don’t know if she’s healed from that yet.”

“I don’t know how someone would heal from that, Buck,” Steve says remorsefully.

The car pulls up to the front of their building and stops. Neither of them move for a moment and then Steve opens the door and slides out, followed by Bucky. They get their gear and trudge slowly into the building.

 

Chapter

Shaye is sitting in the middle of Steve’s bed unable to sleep. She misses Steve and Bucky and she sorely regrets snapping at them and then storming off like a pissed off child.

She keeps thinking about what Natasha knows. She wonders if Natasha told Steve and Bucky about what she found. About the miscarriages and the beatings and…

Shaye wipes the tears from her eyes. She had hoped to bury that Chapter of her life and never deal with it again. Now it’s reared its ugly head and she’s not sure how to deal with it. Or how Bucky and Steve will deal with it. It’s her own goddamn stupid mouth that brought this on.

Natasha had been called in to collect her after the guys got called away. One of them - or both - had made a call for Natasha to bring her back here. Without mentioning the word home because the guys seem to think she’ll flake out and just run home to Pennsylvania. And then the badgering started. Natasha knows all about the past Shaye has tried so hard to bury. She has Shaye’s medical records and pieced together what happened. How many miscarriages? How many? How many? How many? Your records are conflicting. You need to be healthy for them. Why are your records so sparse? You can’t possibly care about them if you don’t care about yourself. On and on and on.

If Natasha knows, did she tell Bucky and Steve? Do they know? What will they think? Will they look down on her? Judge her? Dump her? Who wants that kind of excess baggage with a girlfriend? They have enough shit to deal with.

She wipes her eyes. She misses Steve and Bucky. She doesn’t want them to think poorly of her. She doesn’t want to lose them. Natasha was right, in the most half assed way imaginable, she can’t take care of the guys if she isn’t willing to make sure she’s healthy enough to do so.  

She’s looking at her phone for a women’s health center near her home. She’s still got insurance for a little while, hopefully the insurance will cover the visit. She can make an appointment for when she gets back from Quantico. She’ll even make sure there’s no issue with the stupid pills.

She hears the door to the apartment open. It’s almost 2am. She’s hoping it’s Bucky and Steve, but since she doesn’t know who else has a goddamn key…

She slinks off the bed and down the hall as quietly as she can.

“What do you want to do?” she hears Bucky ask.

“Go to bed. We’ll call her tomorrow and check on her. I had hoped she would be here…”

Steve’s voice is strained, she can hear it clearly.

“I wish she was here. I didn’t want her to leave.”

Bucky sounds just as miserable. They think she left. They think she went home after Natasha picked her up.  

 

Chapter

Shaye steps into the living room and Steve and Bucky freeze. Steve drops his shield and it hits the floor with a resounding _clang_.

“Shaye?” Steve asks. Bucky’s mouth is moving but he’s not saying anything.

“Steve. Bucky. Welcome home,” she says softly. They drop their bags and rush to her trying to find a way to hug her at the same time.

“Baby,” Bucky murmurs into her neck. “Baby, thank god you’re home.”

“I’m sorry, kitten. I’m so sorry,” Steve whispers. “We weren’t trying to make you mad.”

“Don’t be mad,” Bucky pleads, “don’t be mad, baby.”

“Alright, alright, shhh,” she whispers trying to hold them both. “I’m not mad. It’s alright,” she says trying to soothe them. They’re both breathing hard, Bucky’s kneading the areas of her body his hands are attached to.

“You didn’t leave. Thank you, kitten,” Steve sighs.

“I have to leave tomorrow. I told you I would stay. I wasn’t going to leave after that tantrum I had at Ellis Island, not until I had to,” she says. They both look up. She caresses their faces.

“It wasn’t a tantrum,” Bucky tells her.

“No, it was a tantrum. For that I’m sorry. I just…the past sucks and I clearly don’t know how to deal with it.”

“We can work on that together, baby.”

“Don’t apologize, kitten. You’re here. You stayed,” Steve tells her. Bucky puts his head back down on her shoulder and sighs tiredly.

“Come on, go get cleaned up. Are you hungry?” she asks. Bucky lifts his head and they both look a little surprised by her question.

“No, baby -”

“Don’t,” Steve protests.

“Are you hungry?” she asks again. They look at each other.

“Yes?” Bucky asks.

“I can make you eggs or I think I saw pancake mix on the counter if you want that.”

“Pancakes,” they say together.

“Go flip a coin to see who gets in the shower first. Whoever doesn’t come to the kitchen and I’ll get your pancakes started so we can just crash when the showers are done,” she says. They both smile and squish her between them while hugging her. Bucky nods his head to Steve to go back first. Steve kisses her several times, reluctant to let her out of his sight. He finally goes back to the bathroom leaving Shaye with Bucky to make him pancakes.

 

Chapter

Bucky puts his arms around Shaye and kisses her repeatedly. No words can express how happy he is to see her at home with them. He’s silently thanking whatever powers that be for having her home.

“You have to stop or I can’t make you pancakes,” she tells him. He grins and kisses her again. Just for good measure.

“You stayed,” he says as they walk into the kitchen together.

“I did. You asked me to, remember?”

“I didn’t think you would, baby. We weren’t trying to piss you off -”

“Stop, Bucky. That was my own stupidity that caused that. I have some explaining to do. Although, you could just ask the asshole redhead and I’m sure she’ll tell you since she’s keenly aware of everything.”

“Asshole redhead,” Bucky repeats and then laughs. Natasha left an impression and not a good one.

“That should be her fucking code name,” Shaye grumbles. Bucky laughs more.

“She’s not bad. She’s actually pretty decent. She just has her ways of doing things. Much like you and I and Steve do.”

“Badgering the fucking shit out of people should not be considered a way to do things,” Shaye remarks as she mixes the pancake batter together.

“Fair enough, but she gets the job done.”

“If you’re a fucking terrorist or a spy or some espionage bullshit artist that’s great. I

am not. I thought I was in the middle of some shit when she first approached me, but then quickly figured out she’s an asshole and one of you two sent her.”

“I called her. I wanted to make sure you knew what happened and have someone get you home - here I mean - safe.”

She stops pouring the batter into the hot frying pan and turns around to look at him.

“She said there would be some confusion if she used the word home.”

“Goddammit, Natasha,” Bucky mutters. “Baby -”

“Bucky, we need to talk. You, me and Steve,” she says turning back around to the pancakes. He doesn’t like the way this sounds.

“About Natasha or the home thing or….?”

He watches her plate the rest of the pancakes she made him.

“Where’s the syrup, handsome?” she asks. She’s trying to decide which cabinet to open.

“Top left, two down from the fridge,” he tells her. She gets the syrup down and then grabs the butter. She puts a little bit of butter between each pancake then puts the plate, fork and syrup down in front of him.   
“How’d you know about the butter?” he asks with a big grin. She smiles and leans on the counter.

“It’s how I like mine. I just did it out of habit.”

“This is how it’s supposed to be done,” he says digging in. He’s starving and the pancakes taste like heaven. Or maybe it’s just because she made them they taste like heaven.

“Are they good?” she asks with a little laugh as she watches him chow down. He nods his head yes. He never imagined in a million years he’d come home to a beautiful dame wearing next to nothing who made him pancakes. If she’s upset about this shit with Natasha or the home thing or anything else he’s going to do everything to make her happy again.

She gets him a glass of milk and hands it to him to wash down the pancakes.

“When I die if there’s a heaven you better fuckin’ be there, Shaye,” he says when he finishes the milk.

“The pancakes were that good, huh?” she teases. He smirks and laughs a little.

“They were. Baby, are you mad about something? I sent Natasha after you to make sure you got home safe. It wasn’t meant to be anything but that. The home thing...I keep fucking up, because this is home and -”

“Bucky.”

He stops talking and clamps his mouth shut.

“It’s nothing you or Steve did. I’m not mad about anything. Especially not the home thing.”

Bucky furrows his brow trying to decipher what she means. Dames are hard to understand sometimes.

“You’re not mad or upset at either of us?”

“No, handsome. This is what we need to talk about, though. I’d rather do it all at once with both of you together,” she says and then sighs.

“You’re tired, baby.”

“So are you.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I am. Baby -”

“I’m not mad, Bucky. I promise,” she says taking his hands. He laces his fingers with hers.

“The shower’s open, Buck,” Steve says walking into the kitchen in just his shorts. “Did you eat?”

“I did,” Bucky tells him. “Come here, Shaye. Please,” he asks trying to coax her to his side of the counter. She comes over, he puts his arms around her and cups her ass.

“Go get in the shower, handsome,” she says softly. She runs her fingers along his jaw and he smiles. He gets up, kisses her lovingly, nods to Steve and heads for the shower.

 

Chapter

Steve watches Bucky disappear to the bathroom. He looks at Shaye and rubs his chest.

“Are you mad, kitten?” he asks. “The thing with the pills -”

“I’m not mad, Steve. I promise. Where the hell did kitten come from?”

Steve makes a popping sound with his mouth because he’s not entirely sure. She laughs a little bit. She’s not mad. It’s okay.

He takes her hand and pulls her into his arms. She puts her arms around him, puts her head on his shoulder and sighs.

“I owe you and Bucky an apology. I told him I’d wait till you were both done so we could talk. So I could talk, more accurately. How many pancakes do you want?”

“You don’t need to apologize for anything. Why does this sound bad and four please,” he answers. She lets him go, but he doesn’t let go of her. She puts her hands on his chest and runs her nails lightly over his pecs.

“If you’re hungry you have to let me get to the stove,” she says playfully.

“Yeah. Seems logical. But I can’t hold you if you go over there.”

“Eat or don’t eat, that is the question.”

“Smartass. I am hungry. You don’t have to do pancakes, kitten.”

“Where did kitten come from?” she asks again. He lets her go, but she doesn’t move.

“Is it bad?” he asks, hoping he’s not calling her something that’s derogatory and he’s not aware of it.

“No. Just curious.”

“Can I keep doing it?”

“Are you going to answer my question?” she laughs.

“I have no idea. It just sort of happened,” he admits.

“Fair enough,” she says going to the stove. He follows her. He wants to hold her. He needs to have her close. She’s studying him as she mixes the pancake batter together. He puts his hands on her hips again and tries to think of a way to tell her he needs to hold her, needs to keep her close because he’s afraid he’s unconscious somewhere and this is a dream. She puts the pancake batter down and pulls him closer, holding him tightly.

“It’s okay, baby. What happened was my fault. We’re here. We’re home. Bucky’s in the shower, you and I are in the kitchen. We’re alright,” she whispers in his ear. Her voice is soothing, she seemed to understand without him having to say a word. He puts his head on her shoulder and locks her in his arms.

“I don’t want to wake up and have you not be here,” he whispers.

“I know, baby. I know. I’m not going anywhere. Come on, let me fix your pancakes so you can eat. You can still hold me, you’ll just have to move with me.”

He catches her meaning, lets her go long enough for her to turn around so she can face the stove and then goes back to holding her, resting his chin on her shoulder so he can watch.

“You were sorely missed, kitten. By both of us.”

“I missed both of you. Those beds are fucking ridiculous without you two.”

Steve chuckles.

“I found a three bedroom to go look at on Thursday. Barring any further interruptions.”

“Really?” She sounds very surprised. “I’d ask where, but it won’t mean a goddamn thing to me since I have no clue where anything is.”

She makes him laugh. He kisses her cheek.

“It’s not far from here. Good neighborhood, building looks decent.”

“Does it have that code thing to get in? I like that.”

“We can find out.”

“Find out if it has a laundry facility. Better still, if it has a washer and dryer hookup that would be prefered,” she says pouring the batter. He watches the pancakes sizzle in the butter. He puckers his lips. Is she…?

“You’d prefer to have one in the apartment?” he asks. It’s a test question. He’s sure he’s hearing this right, but…

“I would. It makes it easier to do laundry. Are there stores close by?”

Oh, he’s hearing this right.

“I can check. Does this mean you’re moving in?” He braces for the impact of his question like he would a grenade. She doesn’t flinch or cringe or anything. She just flips the pancakes.

“Maybe.”

“I knew this was too easy,” he grumbles. Now he feels her tense up.

“Shaye -”

“There’s some things you need to know first.”

“Whatever it is won’t change my mind or Buck’s about you moving in, Shaye. I promise you that,” he states matter of factly.

“Do you want butter on your pancakes, baby?” she asks. She’s changing the subject. Goddammit. He should have just kept asking her what else she was looking for in an apartment for them.

“No, kitten. This is good. Thank you,” he says and kisses her cheek.

“Go sit down and eat. He’s going to be done soon and then we’ll talk.”

Steve gives her an uneasy look. She smiles, but she’s clearly tired. He knows the feeling. She gets him a glass of milk and scratches at his chin. He’s got two days worth of growth he’s got to get rid of.

“It’s nice to come home to a pretty dame wearing very little who makes pancakes for me at almost three in the morning.”

Her lips twitch. She’s either going to say something nice or say something off the wall.

“Does this bitch have a name? I need to know whose ass I’m going to beat.”

Steve sputters his milk back into the glass as he chokes.

“Goddammit,” he coughs.

“Are you okay?”

“You’re a shit.”

She’s laughing.

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re trying to kill me. You’re a shit,” he insists.

“I am not trying to kill you. You mentioned some half dressed hussy up in here making you pancakes and how nice it is to come home to her.”

Steve puts the glass down and looks at her. He’s trying to decide if she’s serious or if she’s fucking with him. She’s got a really good poker face, so it’s hard to tell.

“Keep it up, wise ass,” he says and then takes a cautionary drink of milk. “Half dressed hussy.”

She bursts out laughing. He’d called her bluff and she’s laughing and he’s loving it.

“Fucking firecracker,” he says watching her clean up. She laughs more.

“She’s a goddamn missile, Steve. Who are you kidding?” Bucky asks coming into the kitchen now.

“Nope,” she says defiantly. “I do not have the standard issue equipment nor was I provided said equipment or the means to make a heat seeking thrill missile.”

“What?” Steve asks knowing full well what he heard. Bucky has his hand over his mouth, but Steve can see he’s grinning from ear to ear practically.

“You heard me.”

“Heat seeking thrill missile,” Bucky says and then just starts laughing.

“Right-o.”

“Why?” Steve asks, unable to hide his amusement any longer.

“Why what?”

“Why did you call it that?”

“Because that’s what it is,” she says like it’s a known fact. “You two chase me around the bed with yours.”

“I fucking can’t,” Bucky cries as he continues to laugh.

“You broke him,” Steve says and then starts laughing because Shaye is laughing at Bucky who has his head on the counter and is just losing his goddamn mind.

 

 

Chapter

Shaye sends Steve and Bucky back to the bedroom so she can finish cleaning up. She’s trying to figure out how to do this. There’s no easy way that isn’t going to dredge up those painful memories again. She sighs, dries her hands and heads back to the bedrooms.

“She’s seriously thinking about moving in, Buck. She gave me some things she’s looking for.”

“Like what?”

“Security door, washer and dryer in the apartment -”

“This is good!” she hears Bucky say excitedly. “This is great!”

“What does she want to talk to us about? Do you have any clue?”

“No. She’s not breaking up with us.”

She steps into the room and they both smile and cross their legs so their sitting Indian style on either side of the bed.

“Thank you for making pancakes,” Bucky says. Steve pats the bed and she climbs on and sits facing them.

“What’s wrong?” Steve asks. Their smiles have changed to looks of concern.

“Bucky told me about his past and Steve, yours is on display for the world. You don’t know about mine. Natasha does -”

“The asshole redhead,” Bucky says trying to get her to smile. It works, she gives him a faint smile.

“Asshole redhead. Nice,” Steve says. “What does she know?”

“More than I thought would be possible to obtain without my fucking consent,” Shaye sighs.

“It’s part of what she does,” Steve tries to explain. “There’s good reason.”

“I know, baby. It’s to keep you two safe. I have a feeling it’s more because you’re viewed as valuable commodities as opposed to needed human beings.”

“At least for one of us that’s true,” Bucky says scratching his chin. “Go on.”

She tries to think of how to get back on her train of thought and she’s stuck. They’re waiting patiently.

“I only gave you half the reason why they put me on birth control pills. To get understand the other half I have to give you some perspective into what happened and why I’m...defensive about so many things.”

“This has to do with the miscarriage?” Steve asks gently.

“Yeah. Yeah, it does, but that comes at the end of this....oh god…” she groans. She can feel the tears building already.

“Don’t do this to yourself, Shaye. Don’t. This is too painful for you, don’t,” Steve pleads. Bucky takes her hand and holds it between his.

“It is painful, but it’s something you two should know about.”

“Let her go, Steve. Let her talk.”

“I know you guys know about the stalker. That’s public record. What happened after the stalker isn’t.”

Shaye takes a deep breath, all the pain, all the anguish, every ugly memory is scratching the way to the surface now.

Steve caresses her face and takes her other hand.

“Some friends - I use the term friend loosely - set me up with this guy they knew. Typical bullshit. It took a while for us to warm up to each other, but then things just seemed to click. It was great for the first couple of months. Shit started to go downhill after that. He took control of every aspect of my life. What I wore, where I went, what I ate, who I spoke to, what I did with my money…”

“The prisoner.” Bucky’s piecing it together. Steve is, too, from the looks of things, his eyes are dark and focused.

“Right. I let it go, thinking he had my best interests at heart. Things began to get worse, but I just kept coming up with excuses as to why. He started...he started demeaning me. Telling me I should be thankful he’s with me because he deserves so much better. I was getting fat. I ate too much. I was sloppy...I stopped eating as much or skipping meals all together. I started losing weight, my clothes didn’t fit anymore. I went shopping for more work clothes without his blessing. I came home to find him waiting. I was accused of cheating even though I had the proof. I argued with him that I wasn’t cheating. That was the first time he hit me…”

Shaye has to stop and try and keep herself together. It’s only going to get worse from here. Steve and Bucky are holding her hands and sitting quietly. She can’t look at their faces, she’s afraid to, so she keeps her eyes down.

“He apologized afterwards, somewhat. I was blamed for making him jealous. It wasn’t long after that things really started to deteriorate. He started calling me at my job constantly to find out if I was really there. He’d leave his job to come to mine and demand to see me. He was told by security to get the fuck out and not come back after he had an altercation when they couldn’t find me. I was at lunch and no one bothered to look in the lunchroom. I got home and ended up going to the hospital. Lacerations and contusions from a fall is the final note from the doctor. I had to stick to the story he gave me, I fell through the glass coffee table because I’m clumsy. He took me home the whole time telling me I’m to blame for slumming around and spreading my legs for anything with a dick that looks my way. I couldn’t go to work the next day looking the way I did. I called out and he flipped out before he went to work calling me a lazy cunt. I cleaned up as best I could and went to work. I was fired as soon as I walked in the door. Things were quiet for a bit after that. He brought his friends over one night and I was feeling miserable and I just wanted to be left alone. He wasn’t having that. I needed to make food and serve he and his friends. I got catcalled, pinched, smacked...by the end of the night I had enough and went off on his best friend who was the worst of them. I was drug into the kitchen and told to sit down and shut up. Not five minutes later he came back and laid into me. Back to the hospital. This time the doctor and nurses on duty weren’t so willing to accept the falling excuse. I didn’t change my story, he didn’t change his. The doctor and nurse sent him to sign me out and proceeded to tell me I had miscarried. I didn’t know I was pregnant. I just thought I was on the rag. Again. They tried to get me to tell them the truth, I didn’t. They gave up and let me go home with him. Again I was blamed for what happened. I tried to tell him about the miscarriage and was backhanded in the car. I said nothing else about it. He made me sleep on the couch for a week because he couldn’t stand how I looked…”

“It’s alright, baby,” she hears Bucky say softly. Steve caresses her face.

“Take your time, Shaye. Just breathe, kitten, breathe,” Steve coaches.

She inhales deeply and slowly exhales.

“Fast forward a little bit. I thought I had figured out how to keep him calm and mostly happy with me, keeping the beatings to a bare minimum. I was wrong. He came home late one night and I apparently didn’t do something to his specifications and he laid me out again. Another trip to the ER. Another round of I fell. They sent a seasoned nurse in to talk to me. She didn’t pull any punches. She told me she knew he was beating the shit out of me and that this is the second recorded miscarriage -”

“Jesus fuck...what? Shaye…”

“Oh my god, Shaye…”

She keeps going.

“I told her I didn’t know what she was talking about. She told me I was the only one who could fix this situation, but I had to want to fix it. He walked in before she could finish talking to me and told her to get the fuck out and then I got interrogated the entire way home about what she was talking to me about. I said nothing about the miscarriage. That night he apologized when he came to bed. This big heartfelt, teary eyed apology about how he was going to do better and how much he loved me and he would never do anything to really hurt me...I fell for it. I believed him. I had actually considered leaving him up until he apologized. I should have. I just…I found out a few months later I was pregnant again. I knew the symptoms. I started sneaking food, trying to supplement my diet. I couldn’t see a doctor because I had no way to get to one and he’d know. I couldn’t tell him for fear of the repercussions. I was able to sneak food into what I figured was my second trimester. That’s when he found me. He beat me unconscious. I woke up in the hospital. The seasoned nurse was there along with another nurse and the doctor. I was further along than I thought, I had miscarried, my body had....” she bites her lip and the first of the tears start to fall.  “My body had just gone into premature labor while was beating the shit out me. That’s why he called an ambulance. That’s why he wasn’t there. I lost the baby while unconscious. They had to sedate me after that. When I woke up the cops were there - the cops that included his best friend. I was told to keep my mouth shut and never speak of this. It’s their word against mine and I’m not going to ruin his chances at the police academy. I didn’t know he’d applied much less been accepted. The other cop basically told me to get my shit and get out of his place and nothing would happen to me. They left. I was too scared to file a report. The nurse and doctor came back. They wanted to keep me for observation. I refused. The nurse handed me $50 in cash and told me to call the women’s shelter. I did. I went back to his house and he was gone. I grabbed my purse and one change of clothes and I left. I found the women’s shelter…”

She wipes her eyes but it’s no use. She can’t see for all the tears. She feels arms around her and the guys pulling her into their arms to hold her. They don’t say anything, the just hold onto her while she cries for what seems like forever.

“I’m sorry,” she whimpers from their arms.

“Don’t you dare apologize for this, Shaye. Don’t you dare. You didn’t do a fucking thing wrong,” Bucky tells her.

“There’s nothing to apologize for, Shaye. Not a damn thing,” Steve says.

She sighs and a deep sob shakes her body.

“That’s the worst of it,” Shaye says, her voice trembling. “I got back on my feet after almost a year. During that year is when I started having problems with my cycle. That’s when they told me I couldn’t have kids because of the scar tissue from the miscarriages. They put me on the pill and that was that. I’ve avoided relationships like the plague since I left him. Until you two showed up.”

 

Chapter

Bucky sits next to Steve, both of them holding and trying their damndest to comfort Shaye. She’s crying near hysterically. She just finished telling them about her last relationship and the reason she has to be on the fucking birth control pills and why she can’t have kids.

Bucky is consumed with emotion right now, all of them conflicting. He hurts for her, he feels sick, he feels anger and hatred toward this fucking monster. He knows he can never understand her pain or her loss, but he feels some of it. He feels it because the hurt in her voice and in her eyes was nearly enough to break him. No wonder she’s so goddamn defensive. No wonder she’s so fucking skittish about things with them. Who the fuck could blame her after all she’s been through? The fact that she’s trying to move past this is courageous and impressive. She could have just walled herself away forever.

His heart aches for her. He wishes he could take this pain from her, take these memories and make them vanish. Erase them so she never has to deal with the pain again. Wouldn’t that be better than having her suffer like this?

“Steve, go and get her a drink, please.”

“Bourbon?”

“No. Nothing alcoholic this time. Get her a bottle of water or some juice.”

“I’ll be right back, kitten. You’re okay,” Steve whispers to her. He kisses her head, lets her go and goes to get her a drink.

“Shaye.”

“Bucky.”

Her voice is strained and shaky.

“Listen to me. None of what happened is your fault. None of what happened was because of something you did or didn’t do. You are not to blame for what happened. Do you understand me?”

“Yes,” she says after a few moments. Steve comes back into the room with a glass of juice and a bottle of water.

“Shaye,” Steve says softly, “take a drink.”

He hands her the glass and she takes a few sips. Steve sits on the bed again and rubs her back.

“Look at me, Shaye,” Bucky says lifting her chin. “No one blames you for what happened. Do you understand?”

Fresh tears fill her gray eyes, but she nods her head.

“Bucky’s right. No one blames you. You did nothing wrong, you’re not at fault, Shaye. What happened...it’s over. That part of it is. This is where we move forward. The three of us, together.”

She takes another sip and Bucky takes the glass and holds it for her. No one speaks now. Bucky doesn’t know what else to say. He’s going over everything she’s said. What he wants to do is find this monster and make him suffer and pay for what he did to Shaye. Steve taps him on the arm and mouths the word _brush_. Bucky nods. Steve kisses her head once more and goes into Bucky’s room to grab the brush. He’s back in a matter of moments.

“Turn around, baby,” Bucky whispers. He exchanges the glass for the brush.

“Come on, kitten,” Steve says gently.

“Why?” she asks. She sees the brush, looks from Steve to Bucky and turns around without another word. Steve takes her hand and Bucky starts to slowly brush her hair.

 

Chapter

Shaye is asleep between Steve and Bucky. Both of them are still awake. They won’t sleep now, and if they do it’ll be brief at best. Bucky had brushed her hair till she’d fallen asleep and then they had carefully put her under the covers and positioned themselves on either side of her.

“I want to know who this fucker is,” Bucky growls. Steve runs his fingers lightly over her brow. She sighs, but she doesn’t wake up.

“To do what, Buck? Beat the shit out of him?”

“Maybe.”

“It won’t accomplish anything. She brought it up just so we would know what the hell was going on. Hunting this shitbag down is only going to make her feel worse, don’t you think?”

He sees Bucky mull this over.

“Maybe.”

“Buck, don’t. Don’t put her through anymore shit about this.”

“Yeah. I won’t. I won’t. I want her to go see Bruce and get a full physical workup, though. I want to know if there’s anything else...Steve, what if there’s other issues she doesn’t know about from all this shit?”

Steve can hear the fear in Buck’s voice. The idea scares the shit out of him, too. This guy fucked her up so bad she can’t have kids - what if there’s more damage that hasn’t been found?

“We’ll talk to her about it, Buck. I don’t want to argue with her or make her feel like we’re forcing her. Not after hearing this.”

“No. We won’t argue with her, Steve. We just have to try and convince her.”

Steve puts his head on the pillow next to hers and puts his hand on her stomach. Bucky puts his hand next to his.

“She can’t have kids,” Steve says sadly.

“No. But when the time comes and we’re ready we can adopt if she wants. I know that’s not what you wanted to hear, kid. I know you wanted kids.”

“I’m not blaming her. It’s not her fault, Buck. We both know that. When the time comes, we’ll see. Right now I just want to get through this and get her moved up here.”

“She’s leaving tomorrow morning. That interview in Quantico...I don’t want her to leave.”

“I know. Neither do I, Buck. Neither do I.”

Steve puts his arm around her, Bucky does the same and she opens her eyes She looks at Bucky first, then at Steve. He sees the smile on her lips.

“Go back to sleep, kitten,” Steve whispers. She closes her eyes, stretches and flips over onto her side facing Bucky. She buries her face in his chest and falls back asleep. Steve curls up behind her and wraps his arm around her waist. Bucky has his arm over her hip. Steve closes his eyes and at some point drifts off to sleep.

 

 

Chapter

Shaye opens her eyes and slowly sits up. The bed is empty. Did she dream about them coming home last night and then telling them…

“What the fuck,” she mumbles as she rubs her eyes. She’s trying to remember if she was dreaming or not.  She’s not sure what day it is, either. She grabs her phone and looks. It’s Tuesday. It’s after twelve noon. What the actual fuck?

She gets up and heads to the bathroom to take a shower. Maybe that’ll help her remember. She turns on the shower and keeps the temperature on the cool side. She’s steps in and the cold water shocks her to fully awake.

She’s supposed to go home tomorrow. She has the interview in Quantico. Steve left her his key and the code for the door. She has Bucky’s credit card. They told her to use that to get the plane ticket. Okay...we’ve got that established. She remembers running from them after having a tantrum yesterday at Ellis Island. Natasha had come to get her. The goddamn badgering questions about her past medical history. She had gone back to bed at some point, but that’s when things become hazy. That dream fog still lingers and she can’t shake it. Did it happen? Did they come home and listen to her hysterics about her past?

She gets out of the shower, dries off and gets dressed. She finishes fixing her hair and goes to the bedroom to get her phone. She pulls up the indeed.com app on her phone and clicks on the location marker. It pulls up where they are. She clicks search and her screen floods with posts. Good. This is good. She sits on Bucky’s bed and starts to sift through the listings.  

She looks at the time on her phone. It’s been over an hour since she started her search. She managed to apply to about eight different potentials and three or four others that she’s pretty sure she doesn’t meet the criteria for but she applied to anyway. She looks at her phone and realizes she’s made the decision. There is no maybe now. She wants to move in with them. If they still want her to, that is.

She gets up from the bed and bites her lip. What if they changed their minds? What if she didn’t dream last night and they are sufficiently freaked out and they left and only plan on coming back when they think she’s gone?

“Stop it,” she tells herself. She’s freaking herself out, and getting worked up over nothing. Potentially.

She heads to the living room and stops. Bucky is asleep on his belly on the couch and Steve is kicked back in the recliner sleeping. Dude, what the hell?

She doesn’t want to bother them if they’re that tired they passed out watching TV. She goes to the kitchen being as quiet as possible to get a drink. She’s starving, but there’s nothing to eat that doesn’t require pots, pans or microwaves. She grabs a piece of bread and eats that. She finishes her drink and sits at the counter to check her email. When she’s done she slinks back to the living room.

“Where are you slinking off to, doll?”

She was almost out of the living room when she hears Bucky ask this. She jumps a little.

“I wasn’t trying to wake you, Bucky.”

“You didn’t, baby.”

“Hey, kitten,” Steve says through a stretch.

“How long have you been up, baby?” Bucky asks as he pushes himself into a sitting position on the couch.

“Couple of hours almost,” she says. They don’t seem upset or frustrated or out of sorts…

“Are you okay?” Steve asks. He kicks the recliner back into a sitting position and stands up. He stretches again, making himself grunt while doing so.

“Yes?” She’s not sure how to answer that.

“Shaye.” Bucky’s voice is firm and demanding of her attention.

“Bucky.”

They look at each other then back to her. This isn’t uncomfortable or anything.

“Baby,” Bucky says getting up, “are you alright? If you’re not, if you’re still upset about what you told us last night then don’t hide it.”

So she wasn’t dreaming.

She considers his words for a moment. Steve is approaching her slowly, his head tilted just a bit. He’s waiting to see how she reacts.

“I wasn’t dreaming about you coming home last night and the other shit, apparently,” she says. “I’m sorry about that.”

“Stop,” Steve says closing the distance between them and putting his arms around her. Bucky does the same.

“Don’t apologize for that, for what happened or for what you told us. Ever. That’s not something you should ever apologize for, Shaye. You did nothing wrong, you are not at fault,” Steve says lifting her chin.

“You told us what happened. That part is over. At least to the point of your health. The other shit - it’s in the past. We’re here. The three of us are together. At least till tomorrow -”

“About that, guys,” she says stopping Bucky. Immediate panic settles on both of their faces.

“What’s wrong? You don’t want to leave now, do you?” Bucky asks.

“I hadn’t planned on it -” Her phone pings in her hand. She glances at it briefly. It’s a response from one of the places here in New York.

“Kitten?” Steve says trying to see what she’s looking at.

“Did you get a response from someone?” Bucky asks because he can see her looking at her email.

“I did. For here in New York.”

Their faces change immediately.

“Are you joking, Shaye? Because...that’s...don’t joke,” Steve says in a low voice.

“I’m not. I applied to like a dozen jobs today. This one and,” she opens her email, “three others have replied,” she says surprised by the turnaround time.

“You did? You applied?” Bucky asks. He’s excited. Steve still looks doubtful. She opens the app on her phone for Indeed and pulls up the listings she’s applied to. All of the ones for today are in this vicinity. She hands the phone to Bucky who holds it for he and Steve to confirm. Steve’s eyes light up. Bucky is smiling brilliantly.

“You really did it,” Steve says sounding elated finally. “You did it!”

“I did.”

“Baby, does this mean you’re going to move in? With us?” Bucky asks, barely containing his excitement.

“I guess so. If you still want me to, that is.”

Bucky is the first to cup her face in his hands and kiss her. Steve takes his turn next. Both of them are giddy.

“We do, baby. We do want you here. We’re going to go look at a place on Thursday. We can look for other places until you get back. When are you coming back?” Bucky asks.

“About that…I canceled the interview at Quantico tomorrow,” she says. She immediately gets crushed between the two guys as they hug her as tightly.

“You don’t have to go home tomorrow?” Bucky asks.

“No reason to now,” she says.

“Stay. Stay as long as you want, kitten. Come with us Thursday to look at this place,” Steve begs.

“I have to go home at some point to pack. You realize this, right?” she asks. They’re so goddamn happy right now she could tell them the sky is falling and it probably wouldn’t phase them.

“Let us help, kitten. What do we need to do?” Steve asks.

“There’s a lot. What do I do with my furniture for starters?”

Steve and Bucky look at each other. Steve rubs his chin and Bucky rubs his arm.

“Let’s sit down and figure this out,” Steve suggests. He sits on the couch and pulls Shaye down next to him. Bucky sits on the coffee table and grabs his phone.

“Is there anything you want to keep, kitten? Couch, chairs?” Steve begins.

“Furniture wise, let’s start there,” Bucky says. “We can get a storage unit. Move your stuff in there till we get the bigger place.”

“The third bedroom we can put your bedroom set in there if you want,” Steve offers. “Or we can buy you something if you don’t want to bring it up here.”

“We can get you a whole new set, baby,” Bucky adds.

“Let’s just hold off on spending insane amounts of money for the moment, guys. I like the bedroom set I have, but the mattress and box spring aren’t going to survive a move. They’re shit.”

“Bedroom set. That’s a dresser and what else? I don’t remember what was in your room, baby. I was focused on other things,” Bucky says with a playful grin. Steve laughs.

“I don’t remember anything that was in the room other than your panties,” he admits.

“Priorities,” Shaye says and laughs. “Dresser, chest of drawers, and two nightstands. Should I bring the lamps? Do you think?”

“Do you like them enough to keep them, baby?” Bucky asks in return. Shaye thinks about it.

“One lamp. All my clothes have to be boxed and brought over...where will I keep them in here?”

“We’ll make room in our stuff for yours,” Steve says without giving it any real thought.

She looks at Bucky who’s looking at Steve in a bemused way.

“We’re going to have to make some concessions about space for a while, baby.”

“Give me a second,” Steve says getting up. He grabs his cell, and makes a call as he heads towards the kitchen. Bucky and Shaye watch him vanish.

“Ass,” Bucky mutters. “What about your couch and that tiny desk?”

“You have a couch, what the hell would we do with mine? I mean, I guess I could keep it in storage…”

“Don’t keep it because you’re afraid of something happening, baby. Keep it because you plan on using it or because you really like the damn thing,” Bucky tells her. He picked up on her uncertainty. He’s getting better at that and that makes her happy.

“Couch goes. The desk is falling apart. It’s a thrift store find. It can go. What about the TV stand?”

“Do you want me to put your TV on the wall in the new place? We can just stash it….actually,” he says reconsidering this, “can we stash Steve’s or mine and mount yours in the bedroom here till we move?”

“Or we can stash the one in here and put mine in here since it’s bigger than the others,” she says with a shrug. Bucky reaches over and runs his fingers over her face.

“You’re so goddamn perfect, Shaye.”

“You’re biased. I’m a fucking mess.”

“We flock to our own,” he says and then laughs. “You’re our mess and we are yours. It works.”

“The rental office says there’s a three bedroom in this building two floors up that just became available,” Steve says coming back into the living room. “We can go look now if you two are interested.”

Bucky looks at Shaye and smiles.

“Sure,” she says.

“We’ll be here. We can meet you in the lobby,” Steve says into the phone.

“Everything happens for a reason,” Bucky says taking her hands and kissing them.

“They’ll be here with the key to show it in about twenty minutes,” Steve says sitting back down. He kisses Shaye on the cheek. She scratches his back and he leans forward, hunching his shoulders and sighing.

“Where were we?” Shaye asks.

“TV. She wants to put hers in here and stash that one,” Bucky explains. Steve looks at the TV on the wall and shrugs.

“Hers is bigger. That’s fine.”

“What about that little table?” Bucky asks.

“Goes. Thrift store find. Back to the TV stand. Do we need it?”

Bucky shakes his head no.

“No. We can save room by just wall mounting the TVs,” Steve states. He looks at his watch. “Let’s head to the lobby. They’ll be here in about ten minutes or so.”

 

Chapter

Bucky and Steve are waiting in the lobby with Shaye waiting on the agent from the rental office. Bucky and Steve are both smiling like loons. She just told them she was applying for jobs here in New York and that she wants to move in with them. Bucky is so happy right now he’s barely able to think straight. He thought for sure it would be a fight to convince her to do so. Especially since he and Steve were both convinced she went home after the shit with Ellis Island. That thought puts a momentary damper on his good spirits. All that shit she had to endure at the hands of that fucking monster and now she can’t have kids and her fucking menstrual cycle is fucked up. He feels the seething anger building in him again. How the fuck could Steve not want to find this fucker and just beat him to a pulp? The answer is that Steve’s more level headed than he is now. That doesn’t change the fact he wants to beat the fuck out of this guy.

He looks over at Shaye who is watching him intently, her eyebrows raised and she looks concerned. He forces himself to smile for her. He loves her. At some point he’ll tell her.

She looks over at Steve who is also watching Bucky.

“What?” He asks Steve. Steve gives him the trademark _calm the fuck down_ look. Bucky rolls his eyes. He feels Shaye’s hand on his chest, she must have come over while he was staring down Steve.

“Why are you grumpy all of the sudden?” She asks.

“I’m not?”

“No? You were smiling like an idiot and now you’re grinding your teeth,” she points out. Steve is smirking.

“Is this observant enough for you?” Bucky asks him.

“Shut up,” Steve says and then chuckles when Shaye gives him a menacing look.

“He’s got a point,” she says defending Bucky. Bucky is all smiles again.

“Ha.”

“Don’t take his side, kitten. What the hell?” Steve demands. He pouts. Bucky looks at him like he’s insane, which he’s pretty sure Steve is.

Shaye laughs and smiles beautifully. Bucky takes her hand and kisses her fingers. Steve comes over and takes her other hand. Bucky knows Steve’s just as much in need of her touch as he is. Shaye caresses both of their faces. Bucky loves her touch.

“Mr. Rogers?”

Steve looks pissed and Shaye is biting her lip trying hard not to laugh.

“Don’t,” he tells her. “You either,” he warns Bucky. He turns to go to the person addressing him and Shaye buries her face in Bucky’s shoulder and tries to laugh quietly. He rubs her back trying not to laugh himself.

“You’re bad, doll,” he whispers into her ear. He feels her breath on his skin and her lips just under his ear. She kisses him softly and Bucky buries his face in her hair.

“I know,” she whispers and kisses him again. Bucky’s about to tell Steve to go look at the goddamn apartment himself and take Shaye into the elevator and have his way with her.

“How wet are your panties, baby?” he purrs. He hears that growl come from her, low and seductive. He’s going to go insane.

“Stop torturing him and come on,” Steve calls. Shaye lifts her head and smiles fiendishly at Bucky. She knows what she did, what she’s caused.

“You’re in for it,” he promises.

“Nah,” she says putting extra swish and sway to her hips as she walks. Bucky runs his hand down his face and groans. Steve is looking at Shaye and then at Bucky and smirking. Bucky licks his teeth and they all get into the elevator.

“This apartment we just had painted. It’s almost double the size of your current unit. Of course the rent goes up with the increased space,” the agent says.

“How much?” Shaye asks. Bucky sees any humor she had is fading.

“That’s not important,” Steve says before the agent can answer. Shey shoots Steve a harsh look.

“How much more?” she asks again. Bucky can tell by her tone she’s not going to let it go. Steve sighs and shakes his head.

“It’s another fifteen hundred on top of what you’re paying now, which given the location and the space isn’t a bad deal.”

Bucky sees the color drain from Shaye’s face. He looks at Steve who sees her uneasiness, as well.

“That won’t be a problem will it?” the agent asks as the elevator doors open.

“No,” Bucky says quickly.

“Good. This way,” the agent says leading them off the elevator. Steve and Bucky walk on either side of Shaye, both of them taking nervous glances at her.

“Feel free to look around,” the agent says opening the door and letting them in. The three of them step inside and then Bucky and Steve wait to see what Shaye’s going to do. She takes a few steps in and sighs heavily.

“Let’s go look at the bedrooms,” Steve suggests.

“Good idea,” the agent says. “I’ll be here.”

They walk back towards the bedrooms and as soon as they’re out of earshot of the agent the stop.

“Shaye -”

“Fifteen hundred on top of what you pay now which I’m guessing is something insane like what? Four grand a month?” she asks before Steve can say anything else.

“What did we agree to, baby? We would pay for the rent, utilities, food and anything else -”

“You two agreed to that. I did not.”

Steve leans against the wall, folds his arms over his chest and hangs his head.

“Shaye, this place is twice the size of ours. You can have your own room. We won’t have to move that far. We have this covered,” Steve says. Bucky can hear the frustration building in his voice. Based on the look on Shaye’s face she can, too. She shakes her head and walks away from them. Bucky can tell she’s walled herself off.

“Steve, that was uncalled for,” Bucky says flatly. Steve looks up immediately.

“Shit,” Steve winces, “Shaye, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it like that.”

She’s already back in the living room and either can’t hear him or chooses not to.

“Look at the bedrooms, see if they’ll work. I’ll try and talk to her,” Bucky says going after Shaye.

“What do they think? It must be important if they called a woman over to take a look with them,” Bucky hears the agent joke.

“Shaye, let’s go look at the kitchen,” Bucky says putting his hand on the small of her back and walking her towards the kitchen.

“It’s much larger, a combo kitchen dining room!” the agent yells after them.

“Fucking ass,” Bucky mumbles. Shaye’s arms are crossed and she’s unresponsive to his touch.

“Baby, he didn’t mean for it to come out like that. He’s not thinking.”

No response. She’s looking around or pretending too, but he can’t read her. It’s like she’s here but she isn’t.

Bucky leans against the sink and watches her for a moment. He’s not sure if he should keep trying or leave her alone. Steve walks into the kitchen with his mouth open about to say something. He sees Shaye and his mouth snaps shut. He looks at Bucky and Bucky can only shake his head. He watches Steve regroup and prepare to try again.

“Kitten, I didn’t mean to take that tone. I’m sorry. I thought we were past this, that’s all,” Steve says gently.

She looks at him, but says nothing. The look in her eyes makes Bucky’s blood freeze.

“What do you think?” the agent asks appearing in the kitchen with them.

“Give us a few more minutes,” Bucky says. Thankfully the agent gets the hint.

“Sure! Take your time,” he says and then leaves.

“Shaye,” Bucky says cautiously, “we have this covered. The sticker shock is...bad,” he admits, “I get it. But this is what Steve and I want to do.”

“Don’t be mad or upset, kitten. Not over this. Please. I’m sorry -”

“What do you want me to say? That this I’m okay with you spending a mortgage payment on an apartment for us?”

“Baby, we’re spending that much on our place alone,” Bucky tries to explain.

“This is fucking stupid,” she grouses.

“What’s stupid, Shaye? Aside from me being a goddamn asshole, what’s wrong?” Steve asks.

“You won’t let me pay for anything. You insist you cover all of this and I know you two are still on this kick about me seeing your friend. At what point do I have any say in this? Aside from what furniture I get to keep?”

Bucky and Steve both stagger a little at her question. Bucky didn’t give this a second thought. Steve had asked her what she wanted as far as amenities, but that was it. In their haste to prove they wanted to take care of her and prove they could do so, they boxed her in to the point that they left her with no say in the matter. She’s equating this to the monster and how that started, Bucky is sure of it, and this makes him feel even worse.

She’s waiting for a response and neither of them have given her one. She shakes her head and walks away.

“I’ll be waiting at your current apartment,” is all she says.

“Hey...okay,” they hear the agent say. She must have blown right past him.

Bucky and Steve walk out to the living room where the guy is.

“Is she okay? She seems a little hot headed.”

“She’s fine. Don’t worry about her,” Bucky states tersely. The guy flinches. Bucky doesn’t give a shit. He’s going after Shaye.

“We need to talk about it, but we’ll be in touch,” Steve tells the agent.

“Good to know! If this doesn’t work out, let us know. I’m sure we can find something else,” the agent vows.

Bucky sees the elevator doors close a half step before he reaches them. Steve’s at his side in a flash.

“Stairs,” Steve says and they head for the stairwell.

“She’s pissed, Steve.”

“I know. I know. I don’t know what the hell to do to fix it, Buck.”

“We better figure it out.”

 

Chapter

Shaye lets herself into the apartment with Steve’s key. She’s not stupid enough to leave without the goddamn thing now, for fear they’ll just rush off if they get called and she won’t be able to get into the apartment. 

She looks at the key. Her anxiety is in overdrive, her brain telling her to run. Just grab her shit that she can and run and never look back because this is going to turn out worse than when she was with the fucker that beat her and this is not something we should wait around for.  Her heart is screaming that her brain is wrong, they’re doing what they do because that’s how they were raised, they care about her and want to take care of her. 

They said she could keep her money. How long till they start asking how much she has and demanding receipts and bank statements? How long till she’s put on a curfew? They’ll have her every move watched and documented. How long till they tell her she can only wear certain things at certain times?

Shaye sits on the couch and puts the key on the coffee table. What if they aren’t like the ex? What if she’s seeing things that aren’t there with them? 

The door opens and Steve and Bucky run inside. 

“Baby…”

“Shaye, I’m sorry.”

She can see how upset they are. They don’t hide that well. Or their really fucking good actors. Both of them. She looks at the key again. 

“Truthfully, what is the end game here with you two?” she asks without looking up. 

“To take care of you. To have you stay with us.”

“To protect you, love you -”

“End. Game.” She repeats the words enunciating them individually for effect.

She sees them look at each other, either they don’t understand or they don’t have an answer it seems. 

“To move you in with us and make sure you’re happy, healthy and provided for. To stay with you as long as possible. Years, decades…” Steve trails off. 

“Maybe, later on, a few years from now, we start a family - adoptions, we look at adoptions,” Bucky says hastily when she looks up at him. He read her wrong, thinking the family thing and her inability to conceive was the cause for her expression. It was the idea of hearing him mention starting a family that threw her off. 

“We stay together, the three of us. We spend the rest of our lives with you, Shaye. That’s the end game,” Steve says finishing their combined answer. 

She’s more than a little impressed. It wasn’t the basic canned answer of move in, fuck, have fun, we can take care of you bullshit she thought it would be. Steve didn’t flinch or blink when Bucky mentioned a family. Bucky didn’t seem phased by the decades remark Steve made. They both sound intent on this, there’s no indication she should doubt their words. 

“This is your answer? An eternity together with a family?” she asks testing their resolve. 

“Yes. With you,” Steve answers with no hesitation.

“Only with you, baby,” Bucky replies. “Only with you.”

She looks at the key again. The screams of her anxiety have been muted by the sound of her heart beating fiercely in her chest. 

“I agreed to this, as Steve pointed out, at least to an extent. This isn’t something fleeting for either of you it seems. I don’t want to end up...do you understand my fear?” she asks. She feels weak and broken suddenly. 

They’re on either side of her in the blink of her eyes. Both of them have a hand on her back, both of them have taken one of her hands to hold. 

“We do, baby. We do understand,” Bucky whispers to her. 

“It won’t happen, kitten. Don’t be afraid, please.”

“We’ll figure out how the breakdown of the bills goes,” Bucky offers. “Once you find a job you like and you’re situated there we’ll work on the rest.”

“Can you try and see our side, Shaye?” Steve asks. “Think about the time we’re from. Bucky and I come from a time where it was a man’s job to take care of his girl. To provide for her. Things have changed, I understand that. It doesn’t mean we don’t still feel that way.”

Shaye sits silently. She was solely focused on protecting herself. She didn’t know this is how they felt, she never bothered to really find out their reasoning. 

“Bucky, is this how you feel?” she asks after a few moments. 

“It is, baby. We’re cut from the same cloth, he and I. It’s ingrained in us. It’s not to control you, to keep you under our thumb. It’s that we want to and need to.”

“At least let me buy the goddamn groceries,” she says. It’s not the compromise she wanted, it’s not the support she feels she needs to give, but it will have to do. 

“You’ll settle for that? You’re okay with the groceries, kitten?” Steve asks. She can hear the hope in his voice. He wants this to be over so they can move on. 

“Yes,” she says relenting. 

“Do you understand what Steve means, Shaye?” Bucky asks gently. 

She looks at Bucky and smiles. His eyes are full of concern and fear. 

“I do, honey. I don’t approve of it entirely, but I understand.”

Bucky presses his lips to hers and holds her face. He lets her go and smiles, the relief washing over him. She looks at Steve and puts her arms around him. He hugs her tightly. She kisses him.

“I’m sorry I doubted either of you,” she apologizes.  

“Don’t apologize, Shaye. It’s done. We’re good now. Right?” Steve asks. 

“Yes, baby. We’re good.”

He smiles finally and kisses her again. Bucky runs his fingers through her hair. 

“Let’s get lunch,” Bucky suggests. Shaye laughs and Steve smiles more. 

“Think we should get from that place on Fifth?” Steve asks. Shaye looks at Bucky who’s got a huge grin now. 

“Yeah. Yeah, we should. You’ll like it, baby. Pretty sure you will. This is going to put your trust of us to the test, though.”

“How so?” she asks suspiciously. 

“Let Bucky order for you. I’m pretty sure I know what he’s going to get. You know what to get me.” Steve says the last part to Bucky, Bucky nods. He puts his hand on the back of Shaye’s neck and kisses her, his tongue working its way into her mouth to dance with hers. 

“I’ll be back shortly,” he says when they come up for air. He kisses her head again and then heads out. 

“Where is he going?” she asks.

“It’s a surprise. I’m pretty sure you’ll like it. They’ve got fantastic food, kitten.”

“How long will he be gone?”

“Probably about a half hour. Till they get everything prepared,” Steve answers. “Why?”

She gets up. Steve goes to stand up and she puts her hand on his shoulder to stop him. 

“Sit back,” she says softly. He leans back into the couch, confused as to what she’s doing. 

“I owe you an apology. For being so fucking hard headed and not trusting you or my heart,” she explains.

“No, you don’t, Shaye. I know why you’re defensive. It’s going to take time,” he says gently. She moves between his legs.

“I want to. Think of it as a peace offering,” she says pushing his legs further apart and sinking to her knees. “I’ll give Bucky his later.”

“Shaye, you don’t have to. I don’t expect…” He stops as she undoes his belt. She pops the button on his jeans and slowly pulls the zipper down. 

“Stop. Don’t do this because you feel like you have to -”

“I’m not. I’m doing it because I want to,” she says pulling his jeans open and trying to pull them over his hips. He lifts himself up enough to pull his jeans and shorts down. 

“Shaye…” he whispers his eyes locked on hers. “You’re sure you want to….mmmm,” he moans as she licks the head of his cock. She licks him again, shaft to head, watching his head roll back against the couch. He puts his left hand on her arm and the right he tangles his fingers into her hair. He moans again as she swallows him, working past her gag reflex to get as much of him as she can. He slides down a little giving her a better angle to suck on him. She looks up at him and his eyes are on her again, watching her swallow him as she goes down and then slowly suck her way back up. She keeps going, alternating between sucking and licking, using her hands to tug on his balls or stroke his shaft where her mouth isn’t reaching. He whispers her name in a breathless pant as she continues. She hums, making her lips vibrate on his cock as she sucks. He groans loudly. She increases her momentum, humming longer and deeper until he locks his hand at the base of her skull, preventing her from moving as he moans through his orgasm. His hand slides away and she’s able to sit up and back, admiring the results. He’s panting and he looks wiped out.  She wipes her mouth and pats his leg. 

“Thank you,” he manages to say. 

“Still friends, gorgeous?” she asks.

“Always, kitten. We’re more than friends, though. Right?”

She smiles at the innocence of the question. 

“We are. You should situate yourself before Bucky comes home and nobody eats.”

“He and I will,” Steve says with a sly grin. She laughs. 

“I see. Okay, so you should situate yourself so I can have dinner and we can play games later. How’s that?”

“I’m going to hold you to that, kitten. Any chance we can see the lingerie tonight?”

“Only if you two dress up for me.”

Chapter

Steve watches Shaye head to the kitchen with their plates. She insisted on cleaning up and rather than argue with her again Steve had taken a page from the book of Bucky and just let her have her way. 

“You spoil her too much,” Steve says when she’s out of earshot. Bucky looks at him and wrinkles his brow.

“What?”

“You don’t push back, Buck. You just let her go.”

“I don’t want to argue with her, Steve.”

“There’s arguing and there’s not letting her walk all over you.”

“For fucks sake,” Bucky grumbles. “She’s not walking all over me or you. She wants to do these things. You want to keep her in a gilded cage.”

“I do not,” Steve argues. 

“Really? Let us do this because this is how we were raised?”

“It is how we were raised, Buck.”

“This isn’t the forties, Steve. She’s struggling with this because she’s afraid she’s going to lose her independence again.”

Steve groans and covers his face. He hates it when Bucky’s right. 

“Would you rather have her  _ want  _  to sit around all day and have us pay for every goddamn thing? She’d basically be a high end prostitute. We’d be her sugar daddies.”

“Sugar daddies?” Steve repeats with distaste. 

“Guys who keep pretty dames around for sex and company and pay for everything the dame wants,” Bucky explains. 

“Prostitutes.”

“Sure. Except the sugar daddy is the only client.”

“Sam calls them gold diggers.”

“Sam’s a fucking idiot.”

“You need to let that go,” Steve says trying not to laugh. 

“No. Do you want her to be like that? Just sits around spending our money on shit, demanding more and more. Eventually acting like she’s worth more than we can supply and she starts looking for a new sugar daddy?”

“No,” Steve acquiesces. “But won’t the opposite hold true? We don’t argue with her or push back a little and she starts to think we’re taking advantage?”

“Fine line, my friend. Fine line.”

Steve is quiet for a moment. 

“Where are you dress greens?” he asks finally. 

“My army greens? The ones you insisted I have for some fucked up reason?”

“Those. Unless you have the old ones stashed someplace.”

Bucky puckers his lips and thinks about this. 

“I don’t. I guess all that stuff was donated or disposed of when they thought I was KIA.”

“Hmmm...but you have the greens?”

“Why?” Bucky asks again, drawing the word out.

“She wants us to dress up for her in exchange for her dressing up for us.”

“Where the hell are we going?” 

“No, asshole, the lingerie,” Steve laughs. 

“Fuck you - ooohhhh,” Bucky says and laughs. “Shit, Steve, I wish I had my old dress browns. Although, she may shred them off of me…”

“Like you wouldn’t enjoy that,” Steve jokes. 

“Jesus Christ...that growl she does, kid. Holy shit.”

“Watching her crawl across the bed on all fours.”

“That sweet line of nectar coming from her pussy…”

“Oh god,” Steve moans, running his thumb over his crotch absently. 

“I have never seen that. I want to see it again.”

“About the dress greens -”

“I have them. Do you have yours?”

“I do.”

“You do what?” Shaye asks coming into the living room. 

“Nothing,” Steve says sweetly. She shakes her head at him. 

“Steve says you want us to get dressed up. Is this true?” Bucky asks her.

“It is. What are you going to wear?” 

“Well, Steve has a unicorn onsie and I have a french maid -”

“Fuck you, James,” she says trying not to laugh. Steve bursts out laughing. Bucky screwing with her like this is hilarious. 

“What?” Bucky demands sounding offended. 

“Fine. I’m going to dress up as a mushroom and stamp you both.”

“Nope. No,” Steve says and shakes his head.

“Negative, baby.”

“Tell you what, kitten, you go pick out one of those pieces Bucky and I picked out and we’ll figure something out as far as your request to dress up,” Steve bargains. She’s intrigued by this, which makes Steve happy. While he’s sure she’s got some idea as to what they’ll be wearing she hasn’t seen them in uniform yet. At least not in person.

“Alright,” she agrees. 

“Go grab what you’re looking for. Use the bathroom to change, since this is a surprise we’ll need access to our rooms,” Steve tells her. She eyes them suspiciously. Steve gives her his million dollar smile and she shakes her head and heads to the bedrooms. 

“The bedrooms are all yours, boys,” she yells a few moments later. They hear the bathroom door shut. 

“What do you have in mind? The army greens?” Bucky asks.

“Yeah. Or the stealth suits.”

The grin on Bucky’s face could be seen from the moon. 

“I don’t know...I think the stealth suits will take more abuse than the dress greens.”

“This is a true statement,” Steve says considering the options. 

“Dress greens?” Bucky asks.

“Dress greens,” Steve confirms. They head back to the bedroom. 

Steve knocks lightly on Bucky’s door once he’s finished putting on his attire. He went with the stealth suit after all. Bucky opens the door and he sees Bucky has made the same decision. 

“Didn’t want to take the chance since I only have the one set,” Bucky explains. Steve nods.

“What do you think she chose?” Steve’s dying to find out. The thought of her in any of those things they bought has him rock hard and uncomfortably restricted right now. 

“It doesn’t matter because she’s going to look fucking amazing in all of them.”

“Kitten!” Steve calls. They hear the bathroom door open. She steps into the room in the bustier Bucky had picked out, garters and all. Her eyes widen and then they hear that low, throaty growl.  They pick her up and Steve hears his cell ring. They all freeze.

“This had better be good,” he snarls as he stomps out of Bucky’s room and into his own. He answers the phone before the fourth ring. 

“You’re up. Get your gear. Clint will be there in ten minutes.” 

“Goddammit!” 

“Steve?” Shaye’s voice is worried. He sees her in the hall with Bucky who is shaking his head.

“You didn’t get the call?” Steve asks him.

“No. Not yet.”

“Good. Stay here, kitten. I’ll be home as soon as I can, alright,” he says softly. He can tell he spooked her a little with his outburst a second ago. He runs his fingers over her cheek already knowing he’s going to miss her terribly. 

“Be careful, baby. Please,” she whispers and throws her arms around him. 

“I will. I’ll be home soon.” He stops himself before he utters the words  _ I love you  _ to her. He grabs his bag and the shield. “Take care of her, Buck.”

“Stay safe, kid,” Bucky tells him. Steve runs out the door, cursing the bad timing for this. 

Chapter

Shaye is leaned against the doorway looking upset. Steve just left after getting the call. Bucky is waiting to hear his ring next. Usually they ring together, but there have been times that one of them gets called and the other doesn’t. 

“It’s alright, baby,” he whispers. He takes her hand and pulls her into his arms. He puts her head on his shoulder and her arms around his waist. 

“I hate what you two do,” she says softly. 

“Why?” he asks.

“I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“It’s a hazard of the job, baby, but there’s risks with any job -”

“Not all jobs involve you getting phone calls all hours of the day and night to go diffuse a situation where you may or may not come home.”

“Fair enough,” he says trying to think of a way to ease her mind, “but somebody has to do it, baby. Somebody has to step up and take the risk and there are very few that are willing and able to like we are.”

“Such bullshit.”

“He’ll be alright, baby.”

She sighs heavily and lifts her head. He runs his fingers through her hair.   
“Go change, baby. We can watch TV for a while,” Bucky suggests. He wants to keep her preoccupied. He really wants to just carry her back to the bedroom and rile her up again, but he refrains. If she’s still interested she’ll let him know. 

She looks at herself.

“He’ll be okay?”

“He and I do this all the time, baby. There’s always a risk, I won’t lie, but he’s not stupid and he’s got every reason to want to come home. I mean look at you.”

She laughs despite the situation. He sees the faint blush on her cheeks and smiles. 

“Are you going to change?” she asks. He looks at his phone. Nothing has come through yet. If they needed him to go with Steve they would have called by now.

“Yeah. Want to watch?” he asks. He knows he’s pressing his luck, but he’s hoping she’ll at least find humor in the attempt. She smiles a little. 

“Sure,” she agrees. He leads her back into his room and starts to strip. She sits on the edge of the bed, only half paying attention. He lets it go and pulls the top half of the stealth suit off exposing his chest. He starts working on the belt for the pants and then strips out of them. He looks up and sees he has her full attention. He pretends not to notice because he’s not sure what to do right now. He takes the stealth suit and puts it back in the closet. 

He turns back around and she’s moved to the head of the bed, rolling down the stockings over her knee to take it off. 

“Can I help?” he asks and then feels like an asshole because his libido is getting the better of him right now. He knows Steve will be alright. He knows this because he has to. He refuses to accept anything other than the fact that Steve will be alright. She doesn’t have that mentality. Not yet. She may never have it. 

She considers it for a moment and hands her still stockinged leg to him, pressing her foot to his bare chest. He takes hold of the stocking, his fingers brushing against her thigh and reminding him that his sex drive has been brought back from the dead. He rolls the sheer stocking down slowly over her thigh, her knee, her calf, her ankle and then off. He puts the stocking aside, but keeps her leg. He kisses her knee, puts her leg down and crawls next to her on the bed. 

“What do you want to watch, baby?” he asks as he puts his arm around her shoulders. She leans into him and puts her hand on his chest. 

“What are our options?”

Bucky flips through the channels for a bit. He sees something with Rita Hayworth in it and stops. Shaye doesn’t seem to mind so he leaves it there. 

They’ve been quiet for almost an hour. Shaye seems content which is what’s important. He’s still aching with desire, sitting here next to her while she’s in this getup. He scratches his thigh and decides he needs to take a leak.

“I’ll be right back,” he whispers. She’s smiles and moves so he can slide off the bed. He heads to the bathroom convinced when he comes back she’ll be asleep. That’s for the best. He’ll curl up next to her and hold her till he falls asleep, too. Hopefully he’ll fall asleep. He finishes up and washes his hands. 

He walks back into his room to find Shaye waiting for him. She sits up on her knees and reaches for him. He gets on the bed and pulls her into his arms. She curls up against him and they resume their positions. 

He’s watching the movie relaxed with her in his arms not thinking of much at this point. He feels her hand on his chest and he kisses her head in response. He thinks nothing of it. He feels her hand slide down toward his abs then stop. He waits a few moments to see if she’s maybe drifted off to sleep, but she shifts, snuggling closer to him. He smiles and pulls her closer.  

“Bucky.”

He moves so he can look at her. She caresses his face and kisses him. She pops the bustier open and he helps her remove it and then flings it to the side. He moves slowly, gently running his hands over her breasts. He’s not going to fuck her. No rough stuff. Tonight he wants to love her. 

He moves so he’s over top of her and gently slides her down so her head is on the pillows. He kisses every inch of her body slowly working his way down. She runs her fingers through his hair, moaning softly. 

He removes her panties then strips out of his boxers. She opens her arms and pulls him back down onto her. 

“Are you sure?” he asks her. She smiles and opens her legs to him. He finds his positioning and pushes into her slowly. She arches up, calling his name softly. He puts his arms under her pulling her up closer, kissing her lovingly as he thrusts into her. She’s not bucking, writhing or demanding more. She’s moving with him, slow and steady, her arms around his shoulders, holding onto him. 

He keeps going, holding off on his own orgasm, steadily working into her until he feels her come, hears his name fall in a breathless whisper from her lips as she holds tightly to him. He gives into his own release finishing with her. 

He stays propped up on one arm and brushes the hair from her temple. She smiles and runs her fingers through his hair.  She kisses him again. Bucky pulls out slowly and rolls onto his side next to her. He pulls her into his arms and against his chest, her head under his chin. Bucky runs his fingers through her hair or rubs her neck until she drifts off to sleep. 

“I love you,” he whispers just before he nods off. 

Chapter

It’s been three weeks since Shaye went back to Pennsylvania. Bucky and Steve have been getting called on a regular basis and she wanted to start packing and preparing to move up here. They were reluctant to let her go knowing they’d miss her more than words could express. They were right. Sleeping in their own rooms in empty beds and waking up alone has been brutal on them both. They miss her warmth. They call her whenever possible staying on the phone for hours just to hear her voice. 

Steve and Bucky had gone back to look at the apartment at Shaye’s request. They took pictures and had her on the phone as they did a proper evaluation. There had been some debate about the smallest room, Bucky naturally giving in to Shaye and Steve arguing he’d take it so she could have a bigger room for herself. He’d defied her until she asked if the king bed would fit in that smaller room. Bucky had grinned, knowing full well Shaye had Steve on that one and Steve had to concede to her. Steve had called her later that night on his own to make sure she wasn’t mad at him. She promised she wasn’t, telling him it was fine and easing his mind. 

Three weeks without her. Tonight will be the worst. 

They just got back from a nightmare mission. They both hurt physically, mentally and emotionally. Knowing that they are going home to an empty apartment where Shaye is not is gut wrenching. 

Bucky drops his bag on the floor and kicks a box across the room then drops heavily onto the couch. He covers his face with his hands. 

Steve puts the shield on the recliner and hangs his head. 

“I’m going to bed,” Steve mutters. He doesn’t wait for a response from Bucky. Halfway down the hall he hears Bucky’s muffled sobs. He feels like breaking down himself. Steve can’t help comfort Bucky if he can’t help himself. He shuts his door, strips and climbs into the cold, empty bed. 

Bucky sits on the couch staring at his phone. Tears still sting his eyes as he argues with himself about calling Shaye just to hear her voice. This last mission dredged up horrors from his past, atrocities he’d committed when under Hydra’s control. He’d held it together until the got back and now he can’t anymore. He looks at the phone again. It’s too early or too late to call her. She’ll be asleep. His heart aches, knowing how much he needs her touch and how desperately he misses her is killing him. He decides against calling her and goes to take a shower instead hoping to wash some of the guilt away that is tearing him apart. 

He finishes in the bathroom and heads to his room. He climbs onto the bed and just sits. He takes the pillow she had laid on the night he made love to her. Her scent has faded, but it’s still there. He holds the pillow and buries his face into it as fresh tears fall. 

Steve lays in bed feeling hellishly miserable. This mission...they knew this mission would have repercussions for Bucky but they sent him anyway and the sent Steve  to act as his goddamn handler, like Bucky is still some mindless beast that needs controlled. It’s times like this Steve questions what he’s doing. What he’s unintentionally forced Bucky into. 

He misses Shaye. He knows Bucky does, too. They both need her right now. Bucky needs he and Shaye both right now. 

Steve gets up and knocks softly on Bucky’s door. There’s no answer. He opens the door and sees Bucky in the middle of the bed crushing a pillow to his chest and crying. If Steve had to guess it’s a pillow Shaye has slept on. 

He sits next to Bucky and puts his arm around him. He doesn’t know what to say. His own eyes mist over as the burden increases on his heart. 

“I’m calling Shaye.” His voice is choked and foreign to his own ears. 

“Don’t,” Bucky sobs through the pillow. “Please…”

“Buck...I can’t…” Steve breaks. He wipes his eyes and grabs Bucky’s phone. He’s going to run the risk of waking her. They need her. 

The phone rings once...twice...three times…

“Hello?” Shaye’s voice is heavy with sleep. 

“Shaye.” It’s all Steve can manage. 

“Steve? Bucky? What’s wrong? Where are you?” She’s awake and alert now.

“Home. Shaye...we just….we miss you,” Bucky says struggling to talk. 

“I’m on my way up. Stay on the phone with me. Talk to me or try to. Whatever happened, whatever is going on we’re going to get through it. I promise.”

Bucky is in pieces again. Steve is barely holding on. He can hear her moving hastily. He doesn’t have it in him to tell her they’ll be okay because at this moment he doesn’t know if they will be. 

Chapter

Shaye was in a dead sleep when Steve called. She’s gone to bed early. She’d started the week with mild cramps and now they’re ramped up full scale. She doesn’t remember the last time they were this bad. The pain is so bad it kept her from doing much of anything except holding a heating pad over her pelvic muscles. After hours of trying to work around the pain she’d given up and gone to bed. This must be the week she’s due to get her period. Has to be. 

Steve’s call woke her up. Hearing how upset her loves were snapped her awake. 

She ignores the flaring pain as she drives herself to the airport to catch the red eye to La Guardia. By the time she’d hung up with Steve and Bucky she’d only been able to calm Steve down and that was only just. She promised them she was on her way, promised them she’d be there as soon as possible. They could only talk in spurts, their voices choked by their tears. They need her. She’s cursing herself and this move. She wishes it was just done and over with now, that she was there with them, that she had been there when they came home and so desperately needed her. 

She arrives at the airport in record time. She sends them a text that she’s boarding the plane, promising them again she’ll be there soon. She gets only a one word message back -  _ hurry _ . 

She doesn’t know what happened. She didn’t press them for details. What she does know is that they are both hurting to the point they can barely speak. 

She pops a dangerous amount of Aleve hoping to alleviate the cramps enough that she can focus on Steve and Bucky instead of the pain. 

Chapter

Shaye arrives at Laguardia, grabs her luggage and rushes outside. It’s just before sunrise and thank god there’s a cab at the front. They leave post haste. 

She calls Steve’s phone. No answer. She immediately calls Bucky’s phone. 

“Baby.” His voice is still thick with pain. 

“Oh, honey. Hang on. I’m in a cab. I’ll be there soon. Okay? Just hang on. You and Steve.”

“Okay,” he whimpers softly. Her heart breaks. 

“Where is Steve, honey?”

“Here.”

Jesus Christ, he’s still crying, too. What the fuck happened? 

“Ten minutes, guys. Ten more minutes, okay?”

“Okay,” Steve says quietly. She hangs up. 

“How much faster can we go?” she asks the cabby.

“That bad, lady?”

“Yeah. That bad.”

He nods and the cab lurches forward as he punches it. He gets her there in five minutes. She pays him, giving him extra for getting her there sooner. She grabs her luggage and runs inside. 

The elevator ride takes forever. She gets inside the apartment drops the luggage and heads back to the bedrooms. They’re together, wherever they are. She’s assuming that means the bedrooms. 

Steve’s room is empty. She goes to Bucky’s room. They’re both sitting on the bed, eyes red and puffy from too many tears. They break when they see her. She climbs on the bed between them and pulls them into her arms, one on each side. They hold her, burying their faces against her, both clinging to her. 

“It’s alright. It’s alright,” she soothes rubbing their sides and arms. 

It takes almost two hours to get the both settled down to the point that they aren’t hyperventilating and crying. Steve’s breathing is back to being deep and even. Bucky’s breathing is still ragged, but he’s not panting anymore. They haven’t said anything yet, and that’s okay. When they’re ready they’ll say something, even if it’s not related to what caused this meltdown. 

“Shaye,” Steve whispers. His voice is hoarse and she can hear how worn out he is. 

“I’m right here, baby,” she says softly. 

“Thank you,” he murmurs. “Thank you for coming back.”

 

Chapter

Steve stands in the shower hands against the wall as the hot water hits his skin. She’s here. Shaye came back when they called. She’s here, she held them and they’re together again now. Three weeks away from the woman he loves more than life was hard enough. Dealing with the aftermath of the last mission on top of that was too much. 

He had called her as a last resort because he didn’t know what to do, he couldn’t think and he was overwhelmed. She’d answered and come running to them. He doesn’t want her to go back again. No more bullshit in Pennsylvania. He and Buck need her here. He’s to the point that he’s going to beg her to just donate anything that’s in that place in Pennsylvania and he and Buck will replace it ten fold. Anything to keep her here now. 

It occurs to him that she had to pay to get a plane ticket and the cab. She kept the key, but given Buck his credit card back before she left. She’d paid god knows how much to get to them as fast as she could. 

He finishes up and steps out of the shower. There has to be a way to convince her to stay and let he and Buck worry about getting her stuff here and into their new place. 

He dries off thinking about how soft and warm she is. How good it feels to just curl up with her and be held by her. He still hurts, but she helped. Just being in her arms and close to her, feeling her touch, hearing her voice...it helped. Knowing that she cares so deeply for he and Buck that she raced up here…

He loves her and he needs to find a way to tell her. 

Chapter

Steve just got up to go take a shower leaving Bucky and Shaye alone for the moment. 

“Shaye.”

“I’m here, honey. I’m right here,” she says softly as she runs her fingers through his hair. He puts his head on her chest more so he can listen to her heartbeat. He’s almost completely blocked the images from the mission from his mind, choosing to focus on Shaye being here, being in her arms, hearing her voice, the warmth of her touch. 

“I missed you. We both did, baby.”

“I’m here now, honey.”

“It’s so hard coming back here and not having you here. It hurts.” He’s trying to explain his feelings, trying to work up to telling her he loves her without just being generic about it. 

“Bucky…”

He holds her tighter, he can hear her heartbeat increasing.

“I’ve been alone so long, Shaye. There was the war and then...seventy years I’ve been alone. I didn’t know how much I needed you and your warmth and touch until you weren’t here. I didn’t even know I needed your touch until…” he trails off. There’s so much he wants to tell her, so much he wants to say to try and make her understand how important she is to him, but he can’t find the words or the strength. 

“You’re not alone any more.” Her words are as soft and welcoming as her tone. 

“Don’t go home again, Shaye. Please.”

“We’ll buy replacements for everything you have, Shaye. Or we’ll hire movers. Or...I don’t know. Just don’t go back home,” Steve pleads. Bucky sees him standing in the doorway. 

“I have things I don’t want donated, baby. I don’t want you buying me a bunch of stuff -”

“Don’t go home,” Bucky pleads. 

“Please,” Steve begs climbing onto the bed with them. “I can’t keep coming back here knowing you’re not here. It’s not home without you.”

“I can’t go home, guys.”

Bucky sits up, perplexed by her statement. Steve is also looking puzzled. 

“What does...what happened?” Steve asks cautiously.

“I can’t go home because I am home,” she says and smiles. Bucky melts. He can see Steve has turned to mush, too. 

“We’ll get your stuff up here, kitten. I promise...I’ll think of something.”

“You’re home,” Bucky sighs in relief. 

“I had most of my clothes packed in suitcases before you called. I could only take one carry on and two stowed. I brought what I could. I don’t ever want to be that far away that I can’t get to you right away as soon as you need me. Never again,” she says reaching for their faces. Bucky leans into her touch, pressing her palm to his cheek. 

“We’ll figure out the rest. Like Steve said,” Bucky promises. 

“You paid a lot of money to get up here, kitten. I know you did. We’re going to repay -”

“Don’t start, Steven,” she warns. Steve purses his lips and Bucky smirks. Steve’s learning. Or maybe he’s just so goddamn happy to have her here he’s not willing to make waves. She winces and puts her hand just below her stomach.

“Shaye?”

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

Everything that has transpired up to this point has been immediately forgotten. She’s hurting. 

“It’s just cramps. It’s rolling around to that time,” she says dismissing their concern. Bucky looks at Steve and sees he’s not buying that either. 

“What do you need, kitten? What helps?” Steve asks.

“How bad are they?” Bucky wants to know. He can’t tell how bad they are. He doesn’t know how high her pain tolerance is. Are they just making her uncomfortable or are they near debilitating and she’s just that fucking good at masking her pain because she’s had to in the past. 

“Honestly, all if I could get a hot shower and get a heating pad, I’ll be fine,” she tells them. She’s not answering Bucky’s question. 

“We have hot water bottles. Do you want to take something? Eat something?” Steve continues. Bucky realizes he’s going to have to eat his words and push Shaye on this issue, much like Steve has with everything else. 

“How bad are they, Shaye?” Bucky asks again. He takes her chin and makes her look directly into his eyes. 

“I’ve had worse. They’re bad, but manageable.”

He’s going to have to be satisfied with that answer. For now.

“What do you normally take?” Bucky asks, rewording Steve’s question.

“I took a lot of Aleve. I can’t take anything for a long while now. Just..a hot shower and your hot water bottles and you two. That’s all I need. I promise.”

 

Chapter

Steve and Bucky are in the kitchen making Shaye grilled cheese while she’s in the shower. 

“Something is wrong,” Steve. Bucky states. 

“I know. She’s deflecting. She doesn’t want us to worry,” Steve says smashing the grilled cheese down with a spatula. 

“She’s worried about us, that’s why.”

“I know that, too, Buck. I also know that having her here, being held by her helped with what happened. Knowing that she came up here when we called her…”

“She cares about us. She said she’s home now and she wants to be here for us. I don’t know how we would have worked through this, Steve.”

“Don’t think about it. Just don’t. I don’t know how we’ve coped prior to this,” Steve admits. 

“I love her, Steve.”

Steve flips the grilled cheese and nods.

“I know, Buck. So do I.”

“I haven’t told her. Have you?”

“No. We need to. It feels right to want to say it. I just don’t know how to do it without sounding…”

“Like we’re feeding her a line,” Bucky says completing Steve’s thought.

“Right. Just saying it to her because we can.”

They’re silent for a few moments. Steve makes more grilled cheese so they can all have some. 

“She loves us...doesn’t she, Steve?”

Bucky’s question makes Steve take pause for a moment. 

“She came running to us, Buck. She came as fast as she could. She’s held us, cared for us…” He’s unsure himself and that scares him. He and Buck are equally invested in their feelings for Shaye, more so than maybe either of them can fathom. She cares for them, but does she love them?

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Second Half

Chapter

Shaye is soaking up all the hot water she can in the shower. The cramps have abated for the time being, thank the gods. She’s glad to be home, with her loves, where she belongs. 

Seeing them in pieces like that hurt her more than any physical pain she’s ever suffered. She would die for them if it would take away their suffering and pain, remove the anguish and horror from their eyes, ease their minds. They cling to her, showing their fear and pain to her and masking it from the rest of the world. She’s the one they trust, the one they run to when the darkness tries to consume them. They love her. She’d be blind to not see that. She loves them just as much, if not more. 

There’s a knock at the door.

“Baby?”

“You can come in, Bucky. It’s not like you haven’t seen me naked,” she says teasing him a bit. She hears the door open slowly.

“Steve made grilled cheese.”

“Are you two going to eat?”

“Yeah. How are the cramps, Shaye? Be honest, baby, please.”

She can hear the concern in his voice. She turns off the water and steps out of the shower. He’s waiting for her with an open towel. He wraps the towel around her and then gets one for her hair. 

“They’re gone for the moment,” she tells him as she dries her hair. 

“Is that the truth?”

“Yes, honey, it’s the truth.”

He studies her for a moment, those blue eyes searching for any indications she’s being untruthful. 

“I don’t know what your pain threshold is, Shaye. I don’t know if you’re masking it because that’s all you know how to do now. If it hurts, if it’s bad, tell me, tell Steve, but please don’t feel like you have to hide it.”

“I will, Bucky.”

“Promise me, baby.”

“I promise.”

He smiles and runs his fingers over her cheeks. 

“Shaye?”

Steve’s at the door now. Bucky opens the door the rest of the way to let him in. 

“I made lunch. Are you alright?”

“I heard and yes,” she answers. He smiles tiredly and takes her hand. She pulls him closer, takes Bucky’s arm and pulls him closer and hugs them. They rest their heads on her shoulders. They need sleep. 

“Let me get dressed and we can eat then snuggle on the bed. You two need to take a nap.”

“So do you. We woke you up,” Steve says apologetically.

“You two needed me. I needed to be up here. It’s nothing to be sorry for.”

They each take their turns kissing her. 

“I brought your stuff into my room,” Bucky says. “We can figure out where to put it later.”

“Or we can just let it go till we get moved. Thank you,” she says scratching his beard. He grins. 

“Can we watch you get dressed?” Steve asks lifting his head. 

“Sure,” she says with an amused smile. They follow her into Bucky’s room were the three pieces of luggage are on the bed. Bucky and Steve open the big ones and Shaye goes for the little one. Bucky is digging through the suitcase looking for something. Steve is just casually going through her things like a curious kid. 

She shakes her head and get what she’s after. Bucky is now rummaging through the smaller suitcase while she gets dressed. She’s thoroughly amused by this for no reason.

“What the hell are you digging for?” Steve asks. He’s stopped going through the clothes in the larger suitcase to watch Bucky.

“Her brush.”

“Top zipper part, handsome,” she says pulling her shirt down. Bucky goes to the zipper part and retrieves her brush. Steve is piqued by what else is in there.

“What is all this?” he asks pulling the curling iron and flat iron out. 

“Hair stuff,” she says nonchalantly. 

“No shit, smartass,” he says and snaps the flat iron at Bucky like a toy. Bucky growls at him and then starts to brush Shaye’s hair. 

“The one you’re using to annoy Bucky with is a flat iron,” she explains. Steve looks at it and continues to unpack the menagerie in the smaller suitcase. 

“What does it do?” Steve asks once he’s emptied the suitcase of everything. 

“Straightens my hair.”

“You’re hair is straight,” Bucky says sounding perplexed. 

“Let's go eat and then you two can pick through this stuff, okay?” she asks. She’ll let them satiate their curiosity about her stuff. They’re going to do it at some point and what better time than now. 

“Can I keep doing this?” Bucky whispers in her ear. 

“You know you can,” she replies. He kisses her head. Steve puts down the flat iron and puts his arms around her. 

“Let’s eat. I think you promised cuddles afterward, too,” Steve reminds her. 

Chapter

Shaye, Bucky and Steve have finished eating and are back in Bucky’s room. Steve has moved the two larger suitcases to the floor and they are sitting on the bed looking at the stuff that Steve had previously dug out. Bucky is behind Shaye combing her hair gently and occasionally kissing her neck. The repetitive motion, the silky feel of her hair, having her close enough that he can feel the warmth of her body. 

“What’s this?” Steve asks holding up the curling iron. 

“Curling iron.”

Steve is confused.

“What the hell do you have a thing to straighten your hair with and a thing to curl your hair with for?”

“Your hair is straight, why the flat thing?” Bucky asks. 

“It’s not straight. Not entirely,” she says. Bucky looks at her hair. He looks over at Steve who is looking at her, too. Bucky puts the brush down and runs his fingers under her hair.   
“Huh,” he grunts. He found waves. He must not have noticed the last time he brushed her hair. He runs his fingers through again and she looks over her shoulder at him.

“Find something?” she asks in a lighthearted tone. 

“Wiseass,” he mutters. She giggles. 

Steve goes back to sorting through her stuff. Bucky leans forward and puts his head on her back. He’s so tired. 

“Steve, you’re fighting to stay awake. So is Bucky. Let’s go to your room and take a nap,” Shaye suggests. 

“Thank you,” Bucky whispers. They go into Steve’s room and let Shaye find her place in the middle of the bed. Bucky lays down on his side next to her and Steve on the opposite side. Bucky’s eyes don’t want to stay open anymore. 

“Go to sleep, honey,” she whispers. That’s all it takes, he closes his eyes and the world goes to sleep. 

Chapter

It’s been three days since Shaye came home to New York. Steve and Bucky are still recovering from the shit with the last mission, but everyday with her things have gotten better. Waking up with her, having breakfast, doing mundane shit...he’s perfectly content to have this for the rest of his life. There’s only been one problem…

“We’re going to medical,” Bucky insists. 

“No, we are not. It’s cramps. I’ve dealt with this. It will pass,” Shaye argues. 

“Shaye, you’re barely able to stand upright, “ Steve counters. Shaye sits on the couch holding the water bottle against her abs, a look of defiance on her face. 

“Steve, it will pass. Have you dealt with this before?” she asks. He can hear the anger in her voice.

“No, but -”

“What about you, James?” 

Steve and Bucky both cringe. 

“No, baby -”

“I have. I understand you’re both worried, but I’m telling you I’m fine.”

Steve licks his teeth and sighs. Bucky has his arms crossed and is looking in disbelief at Shaye. 

“Baby, we’re worried. Usually when someone can’t stand up because they’re in pain it’s a sign something is wrong,” Bucky tells her.

“You know we’re not trying to fight with you on this,” Steve says hoping she’ll listen to reason. “We just want to make sure this isn’t something else.”

“Like what? It’s menstrual cramps. My uterus is having a fucking rage fit because I’m not pregnant. It happens every month.”

Steve has no response to this. What the hell do you say to a response like that? The stupid response would be to let her get pregnant but she can’t and even joking about that would be callous and fucking stupid and…

“Shit,” he mutters and runs his hand hard down his face. 

“It happens to every woman who ovulates, guys. Any woman of childbearing age goes through this. It’s fine.”

Bucky sits next to her on the couch and takes one of her hands. 

“We’re worried, baby. Please, please -”

He’s cut off by both the cells going off. 

“Seriously?” Shaye demands angrily. 

“Fuck off,” Bucky growls. Steve’s already got his. 

“We have to go, kitten,” Steve says dropping to a squat in front of her. “If it gets worse, call Natasha or call Bruce,” he tells her. 

Bucky comes into the living room with his gear.

“Baby, where’s your phone?” he asks. She hands it to him. Steve knows he’s saving Bruce and Natasha’s numbers in there.

“If something happens -”

“It won’t. Please, please just come home safe,” she begs. Steve kisses her then presses his head to hers. 

“We’ll be back as soon as possible, kitten,” he promises. He gets up and heads to grab his stuff. 

He comes back into the living room a minute later and Bucky is holding her face and making Shaye promise to call Bruce or Natasha if she feels worse or she gets sick. 

“I promise, Bucky. Be careful. Please come home safe,” she pleads. He kisses her and looks at Steve. Steve doesn’t want to leave either. He feels uneasy about leaving her, and he’s guessing Buck does, too. Their phones go off again. 

“Remember, call Bruce or Nat,” Steve instructs as they head out the door. He’s hoping this feeling about Shaye is just nerves from the last mission kicking up. 

Chapter

It’s been two days since Steve and Bucky got called away. Again. Shaye’s cramps have more than double in intensity. She’s trying to ride it out. Her period just started, this is going to pass in a few more days. She hopes. 

By the start of the third day the pain is unbearable. It’s making her physically ill. She tries everything to ease the pain, take her mind off it, anything. Nothing works. Nothing helps. She can barely move. She’s sitting on the couch and she feels what can only be described as a dam bursting. She forces herself to the bathroom. Something is wrong. She’s going through tampons and pads combined at an alarming rate. She’s starting to panic. 

She cleans herself up and gets her phone. She’s got no choice.

“Who is this?”

“Natasha. It’s Shaye.” 

“Are you in danger?”

“No. I don’t know….” she can’t think through the pain.

“Where are you?”

“The apartment. I can’t move.”

“I’m on my way. Six minutes out.”

Shaye grits her teeth, wishing she’d listened to Steve and Bucky about going to medical.

Chapter

Bucky peers out of the window of the rundown shack they’re holed up in currently. He switches the magazine in the M-16 and checks his remaining ammo reserves. Steve is pacing anxiously around the room. 

“When are they going to call this a loss?” Bucky asks finally. 

“They won’t because he’s here. He’s got the detonator. We have to find him before he finds the Crown Prince.”

“Sitting in this shithole?”

Steve gives him a scathing look. 

“The Prince is at the hotel,” Clint relays over the comms. Both Steve and Bucky are pissed.

“What about the fucking parade route that was supposed to go down this goddamn street?” Bucky demands.

“Looks like old boy took a detour,” Clint says without any humor. 

“Who’s with him?” Steve asks.

“Three females -”

“Get him out!” Steve orders. “Sam, get down there now! Buck and I are enroute!”

“On it!” Sam barks. 

“Go! Go!” Steve orders. Bucky grabs the rifle and they run outside to the Jeep. Bucky floors it and they race to the hotel.

“Fucking bullshit,” he fumes as he veers around obstacles, bouncing the Jeep over the rocky terrain.

“She’s in the limo with him, Buck. He picked her up because he’s a damned idiot,” Steve snarls. “He’s going to get killed for a piece of ass.”

“Hang on,” Bucky says jerking the wheel hard to the left. They cut through a rough alley, barrelling through trash and crates. 

“Eyes on the limo,” Clint tells them. 

“Stop the limo, keep him covered!” Steve orders. Bucky rolls the Jeep into the main street where they’re immediately stopped by throngs of people in the street. They jump out and run, pushing past the people.

“The limo is still on the move,” Sam calls over the comms.

“Buck!”

“Can’t get a clear shot from where we are! Too many people -”

“Clint!”

“On it. Limo is disabled.”

“Move!” Steve orders. 

Bucky and Steve are at the limo in less than a minute. Sam is pulling women out of the limo trying to get to the Prince. 

“Get out!” Bucky snarls after he rips the limo door from the vehicle. The women panic and flee trying to stampede over Sam. The Prince looks like he’s about to piss himself. Then Bucky sees the froth building at the side of the Prince’s mouth.

“The redhead, Sam! Stop her!” Bucky yells. She shoves Sam and darts into the hotel. Sam is yelling for Clint to head her off. 

“Get him out! We need a medic!” Steve bellows as he and Bucky pull the Crown Prince from the limo. 

Sam comes out of the hotel followed by Clint who has the would be assassin secured and thrown over his shoulder. 

Medics arrive and push Steve and Bucky out of the way, securing the Prince. The Royal Guards finally show up to do their jobs of protecting his royal pain in the assness. 

Bucky, Clint and Sam wait as Steve tries again to explain to the King that the Crown Prince’s appetites are what nearly cost him his life. Rather than blaming his guards for their lack of security, the finger is pointed at Steve.

“You, Captain Rogers, promised me my son would be safe during this festival parade!”

“Had his grace stayed on course with the parade route we would have had him covered. He deviated -”

“You make excuses for your ineptitude! You should have anticipated any outcomes!”

Bucky is a fraction of a second from knocking the fat, pompous asshole through the wall. 

“I make no excuses. I did what I told you we would do. You and the Crown Prince were given the route that was the safest to take. He deviated from that plan without warning. That is on his head and yours.” Steve’s voice is low and fierce. He’s through taking the King’s shit. The King recoils and says nothing in return.   
“Go,” Steve orders. Sam, Clint, Bucky and Steve walk out of the palace and head to the awaiting jet.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here,” Clint says getting the jet ready to take off. 

“I’m worried,” Steve says in a hushed tone so only Bucky can hear him.

“I know. I am, too,” Bucky says in an equally quiet voice. 

“Our ETA is three hours, Natasha.” They hear Clint say. They’d missed her calling them on the radio. 

“What’s going on?” Bucky asks. Sam turns around in the seat to face he and Steve. His face is pale.

“Your girl is in surgery. They’re looking for a matching blood type.” 

Chapter

Bucky and Steve are running to medical. Natasha meets them in the hall exiting the hangar.

“What happened?” Bucky demands.

“She called me and said she couldn’t move. By the time I got there she was on the verge of passing out,” Natasha explains hastily. 

“Shit,” Steve groans. He knew something was wrong. He knew it. He felt it. Goddammit they should have stayed with her. 

They run to the medical wing where Bruce is waiting.

“What hap-” 

“She’s in critical. She lost a lot of blood. Follow me,” Bruce says cutting off Steve’s question. 

He leads them down the hall to the ICU. 

“Dr. Hammond,” Bruce calls. Steve sees an older woman respond. She’s got a fierce look to her. 

“Dr. Banner. Captain Rogers. Sergeant Barnes,” she says quickly. “Your friend has lost a lot of blood. We have two donor matches in the entire state blood bank. You, Captain Rogers and one other person. We can’t perform the surgery until we find a donor - “

“What surgery!” Bucky demands. “What the fuck happened?”

“What happened?” Steve snaps. 

“She had a large uterine polyp that tore open the scar tissue on her uterus when it ruptured,” Dr. Hammond states, unphased by the aggressiveness of Steve and Bucky. 

“Oh god…”

“Why wouldn’t she go to medical? Why wouldn’t she listen?” Bucky yells at no one. 

“That can be discussed later. Right now we need a donor,” Dr. Hammond states bluntly. 

“What are the repercussions if I do it?” Steve asks.

“She may have an adverse effect to the serum,” Bruce says calmly.

“She may reject the other donor, as well. It’s a risk either way. I need to know now what you want to do.” Dr. Hammond doesn’t hold any punches.

Steve looks at Bucky. He’s just as terrified as Steve is. He could save her or he could end up killing her…

“Now, Captain Rogers. There is no time for debate.”

“Do it,” Steve says making the decision. “Take mine.”

Chapter

Bucky paces around the waiting room holding his hands behind his head when Steve walks into the room rubbing his arm. 

“Steve,” Natasha says nodding towards him. Steve sits down and looks at Bucky. He’s about to say something when Bruce comes into the room. 

“She’s in surgery now. Dr. Hammond is one of the best gynecologists in our area and a top rated surgeon,” Bruce tells them. 

“What. Happened.” Bucky says enunciating each word with rage. Normally Steve would say something to try and calm Bucky down, but right now, Steve’s not in the mood to play peacekeeper. He looks at Bruce and waits on an answer.

“Natasha gave me her medical records. I gave them to Dr. Hammond. She’s got scar tissue from miscarriages caused by abuse. She had a polyp develop over the scar tissue and when it ruptured that scar tissue ripped open. That’s what caused the blood loss.”

“Can this Dr. Hammond help her?” Steve asks.

“I don’t know, Steve.”

Bucky falls into a chair. Steve feels woozy. 

“There’s another concern here, guys,” Bruce continues. 

“The serum,” Bucky groans.

“The serum. Direct injection is one thing. This is a blood transfusion. She may not accept it. Her body may reject the transfusion.”

“If that happens?” Steve dares to ask. His head is swimming.

“Steve, put your head between your knees,” Bruce orders. Steve feels wobbly. He does as he’s told. He feels the cold from Bucky’s left hand on the back of his neck. 

“Orange juice at the nurses station,” he hears Bruce say. 

“If that happens?” Steve asks again. 

“She may die,” Bruce says gravely. 

Chapter

Bucky is still pacing the floor of the waiting room. Steve is trying to find a way to think positive. They’re both terrified, but there’s something else that weighs heavily on Steve.

“Buck.”

“What.”

“If something happens to her because of the blood transfusion…”

“Don’t think like that, Steve. Stop right where you are and get that shit out of your head,” Bucky orders. Steve can hear the fear seeping into Buck’s voice. 

“I did what I thought would save her,” Steve continues. He looks at his friend, the man he shares the love of his life with, scared to death he’s going to lose them both. Bucky nods his head.

“I know. I would have done the same thing if I had been the match. I won’t hold you accountable for trying to save her life, Steve.”

Steve can only hope and pray that Bucky remembers that if something happens to Shaye. 

“Captain Rogers. Sergeant Barnes,” Dr. Hammond says walking into the waiting room. She’s still in her surgical scrubs, the mask sitting just under her chin, and the surgical cap still on her head.

“How is she? Is she alright? Can we see her?” They both bombard the doctor with their questions, talking over each other in their impatience for answers.

“She’s alright. She’s resting right now. So far she hasn’t rejected the blood transfusion which is very good news. I didn’t have to do a hysterectomy, thankfully. I cleaned up what I could and removed any other polyps we found when we scoped her.”

“How did this happen? I get that there was this polyp, she had scar tissue that ripped…” Bucky begins.

“How did she not know? She was in pain. She was doubled over when we left -“

“Stop,” Dr. Hammond cuts him off. “The reproductive health of most women in this country is gravely misdiagnosed and women are told to suck it up and deal with it. She probably did think it was menstrual cramps and up until she started bleeding profusely, she had no reason to think otherwise. That’s why she didn’t raise the alarm, gentleman, she didn’t know there was anything wrong.”

Bucky and Steve are both at a loss. 

“She was in a lot of pain,” Bucky mutters.

“I’m willing to bet she was,” the doctor agrees.

“These polyp things, can they come back?” Steve asks. He’s praying she says no, this was some random act of god and Shaye is in the clear.

“It’s common in women. The scar tissue, not so much. I read her medical records that were supplied to me. Several miscarriages due to being used as a punching bag. Her uterus is scarred, at the time of surgery there is no chance she’ll get pregnant. Which one of you is the SO?”

“I am,” they say together. For the first time Dr. Hammond’s gruff exterior gets rattled.

“I’m not getting involved with that. All I will say is that if you plan on having children you should approach that delicately with her. She’s not at fault. Keep that in mind.”

“We know she isn’t at fault, Dr. Hammond. She told us what happened. We told her when the time comes we’ll adopt,” Steve says tiredly.

“Can we see her?” Bucky asks meekly. 

“Yes. She may still be under sedation, but she should be coming out of it. She’s staying here for observation for the next few days.” 

This last part wasn’t a question, it was a statement of fact. The good doctor is not letting them take Shaye home until she’s satisfied Shaye is well enough to go. Steve doesn’t like the idea of not being able to take care of her at home. 

“When can we take her home?” Bucky asks.

“When I determine she’s fit to go,” Dr. Hammond says point blank. “Until then she’s here, she’s safe, and I can monitor how she’s recovering from surgery and Dr. Banner can monitor how she’s handling the blood transfusion. Follow me,” she says turning on her heels and walking away. They trot after her like lost pups.

Dr. Hammond takes them into a room where Bruce and three nurses are hovering over Shaye. She’s propped up on the bed, the breathing tube still in her nose. She’s beyond pale, she looks like death incarnate. 

“She’s asleep,” Bruce says quietly. “Give them a few minutes,” he says addressing the nurses. “When you’re ready, I want to talk to you two,” he finishes, directing this part to Steve and Bucky. 

They both nod. Steve can’t speak. What sort of Hell is this? What wrongs has he committed to have to watch her suffer like this? 

“Shaye,” he whispers as he takes her hand. He sees the tears standing in Bucky’s eyes as he caresses her face. 

Steve looks at the monitors in the room. Her pulse is low, O2 levels are alright, blood pressure is low…

“Hey, baby,” he hears Bucky say. Steve looks and Shaye’s eyes are open, albeit just barely. She smiles weakly. She tries to talk but she’s either too weak or she has no voice or…

“Shhh, it’s alright, it’s alright,” Steve whispers. “We’re here now.”

“We aren’t going anywhere till you’re better, baby. This whole outfit can go fuck themselves.”

Bucky’s little outburst has the surprising and delightful effect of making her laugh a little bit. She squeezes Steve’s hand, but there’s no strength, no grip. She reaches for Bucky and Steve watches him drop down till she can reach him and touch his face. She reaches for Steve next and he does the same, struggling to keep his composure around her. He doesn’t want her to see them upset or sad or hurt because she’ll worry and she won’t get better. 

She tries to speak again, her hand going to her throat in reflex. She’s looking from Steve to Bucky and back again and the faint smile comes back. 

_ I love you _ . 

She mouths the words to them, her eyes close and she’s asleep again. 

Steve and Bucky look at each other, neither say anything. They each kiss Shaye’s temple and head out to look for Bruce. 

“Are you two okay?” Bruce asks as soon as he sees them.

“No,” they answer. 

“Physical or emotional?”

They both look at Shaye’s room. Bruce nods.

“I have something that may help ease your minds. Come with me,” Bruce says leading them to a small office. Bucky leans against the wall, Steve sits in the lone chair in front of the desk. Bruce closes the door and sits behind the desk.

“I know you’re worried about her - how the hell did you two end up dating the same woman?” Bruce asks. Steve looks at him quizzically and he sees Bruce just couldn’t help himself.

“She agreed to see us both,” Bucky answers flatly. His tone is warning enough for Bruce to drop that part of the discussion. 

“What is this something you have?” Steve asks. He just wants to go sit in the room with Shaye till she wakes up again. He wants he and Bucky to be there for her when she opens her eyes again.

“Preliminary results show she’s responding well to the blood transfusion -“

“Dr. Hammond already told us that,” Bucky says cutting him off. 

“Did she tell you how Shaye is reacting to the serum?” Bruce asks. Bucky puckers his lips and shakes his head no.

Bruce is unfettered by Bucky lashing out. 

“Go on,” Steve encourages. 

“It’s bonding with her.”

Chapter

Steve and Bucky are wearily staggering back to their apartment that is once again devoid of their Shaye. They’d stayed in her room while she slept, holding her hands, nodding off in the chairs, watching the nurses with keen interest, asking question after question. Bruce had finally been called in to kick them out. 

“Go rest. You can’t help her if you’re in here, too,” Bruce had told them.

“The serum is working with her,” Bucky muses to himself. He’s so fucking tired his brain isn’t keeping anything straight and he’s not sure if that’s a good thing, if it’s helping her, if it’s going to turn her into one of them…

“For now,” Steve mutters before he falls backwards into the recliner. Bucky flops down on his stomach across the couch. He doesn’t want to go to his room. Her stuff is there and that may very well kill him to see it.

“Was Bruce worried?” Bucky asks. 

“No.”

“Should we be?”

“Probably. If I’m understanding this correctly and it continues to...whatever it’s doing...she may be able to rightfully put us through a wall.”

“Oh.”

He can hear Steve laughing. Steve’s punchy he’s so fucking tired.

“Oh,” Steve repeats. “Doesn’t mean it’ll happen,” he adds.

“She won’t put us through a wall,” Bucky mumbles.

“Not intentionally, at least.”

“She’ll heal faster if that’s the case,” Bucky says thinking out loud. He sees Steve sit upright in the recliner and look at him. The punchy tiredness is gone and he’s very much alert right now.

“Buck...if that’s true, if she gets that perk from this...the scar tissue -“

“Stop,” Bucky says cutting him off. “Mine never healed, Steve. Don’t push for that. I still have scars from what they did to me. They’re still there. You’re asking for too much.”

“That was the serum Hydra gave you, not the serum Stark and Erksine gave me.”

Bucky opens his mouth to tell Steve that’s bullshit, but is it? Bucky wants to argue this point with Steve, but he can’t Technically, the serum they gave him was different than the one that Steve was given, albeit slightly. 

He knows what Steve is getting at, and it goes beyond Shaye’s recovery. 

“I want kids, too, Steve. You know that better than anyone. But she can’t have kids. Can. Not. You’re going for something that is going to end up disappointing you and in the end making you resent her -”

“I would  _ never _ -” Steve tries to protest. Bucky holds up his hand to stop him.

“Not intentionally you wouldn’t. But you’re so fucking hopped up on this idea, Steve. If she still can’t have kids - which is the most likely outcome - you’re going to put that disappointment on her. She’ll take that to heart, the fact that she can’t give either of us what we want.”

Steve hangs his head and sighs heavily. Bucky understands Steve’s will and desire to have kids. By this time in their lives they should be great-great granddaddies. Bucky had given up long ago on ever getting to be a father. Steve never has. And Shaye...she can’t no matter what she wants.

“I won’t be upset if she still can’t have kids, Buck,” Steve states still being defiant about this. 

“Put yourself in her shoes, kid. She’s got that baby making urge and she’s all over you trying to get pregnant. You want to give her that,but you can’t. For whatever reason, you just can’t. She starts looking at you differently. She’s cooled off. How would you feel?” Bucky asks. He sees the hurt on Steve’s face immediately. 

“I understand, Buck. I don’t want her to feel like that. I would never do anything to her her. You know I love her.”

“I know. I love her, too. I’m just trying to put this into perspective. Even though there’s a slim chance her body will heal, there’s a better chance she won’t. Don’t get your hopes up only to take your disappointment out on her.”

Steve throws himself back into the recliner. Bucky knows he’s upset. There’s been so much shit that’s happened within the last week and Steve had grasped at that shiny thread of hope only to have it slip away, too. 

“Best we can hope for is that the serum takes and helps her recover from the surgery faster than Hammond predicts,” Bucky says trying to offer Steve some solace. 

“I’m not upset about the baby thing -”

“Liar.”

“Shut up. Not as much as you seem to think. You’re upset about it.”

“I am, Steve. I’m upset for her. I’m upset for us.”

Steve grunts. 

“I’m wondering how we get all her shit up here and get everything moved upstairs so when she comes home she doesn’t have to focus on anything but getting better.”

“Well, shit, Steve. Let’s go pack her up. We’ll get a moving company to bring her stuff up here and we’ll store it until she’s able to go through it.”

Steve’s eyes widen and he sits back up.

“Who’s open now?” he asks.

Bucky digs his phone out of the bug out bag on the floor and does a quick search. 

“United Van Lines. They’ll pack up her stuff.”

“Where are her keys? Do you know?” Steve asks. Both of them look at Shaye’s handbag that’s sitting in the middle of the coffee table. 

“So...who goes in there to look?” Bucky asks.

Chapter

Shaye opens her eyes slowly. She sees a gentle looking man and a harsh looking woman talking in hushed tones just out of earshot. She’s disoriented and completely parched. She remembers calling Natasha and that’s about it. Now she’s in a hospital bed, the lower half of her body feels like it was shoved through a wood chipper and pieced back together after being set on fire. She looks for the call button to get a nurse, but can’t find one. Looking has suddenly made her very tired. She can barely keep her eyes open. She sees the kind looking man approach. 

“I’m Dr. Banner. Welcome back to the land of the living, Shaye.” 

She can’t keep her eyes open any longer.

Shaye opens her eyes again and the kind man is gone. What was his name? Barber? Baker? Butters? Where the hell did he go? She looks around again, trying to move carefully. Still no call button. She looks around again. She’s in a hospital room. She hasn’t seen Bucky or Steve. Where the hell are Bucky and Steve? 

Now she’s scared. 

Chapter

Bucky and Steve are headed to medical carrying flowers, teddybears, and balloons. It’s almost comical to watch them coming down the hall. Natasha skews an eyebrow at them when they get to her.

“All this is for her?” she asks. “Spoil her much?”

“Don’t hate,” Bucky says sweetly. 

“Who are you?” she asks. She’s still coming to terms with this side of the man whose kill streak was longer and bloodier than hers. 

“Nobody you know,” he answers. She looks at Steve who shakes his head no at her. He doesn’t remember her, that’s for the best. He may want to try and kill her if he ever does remember. 

“Do you remember the story?” Steve asks hurriedly changing the subject. 

“You two got called away and I’m delivering this obscene amount of shit on your behalf.”

“Obscene amount of shit,” Steve repeats with disdain. She grins. She loves getting his ire up, he’s so goddamn funny. 

“Where are you two going?” she asks. She can find out just by tracking them, but finds it easier to ask. 

“To pack up her stuff at her old place and get everything moved up here before Hammond releases her,” Steve explains. Natasha is impressed, their motives are pure and sweet. Sickeningly so, but sweet nonetheless. 

“You may want to hurry that packing trip of yours up,” she warns them.

“Why?” Bucky asks. She hears the mistrust in his voice. She studies him. There is some part of him, some baser instinct of the Winter Soldier that survived and knows not to trust her. 

“Because she’s healing faster than we anticipated,” Bruce says rounding the corner. “Did you buy the flower shop?”

Natasha sees both Bucky and Steve grin like fools. Lovestruck fools. 

“She’s healing faster?” Steve asks. 

“She’s been here two days and she’s showing signs of healing that shouldn’t be possible until a week from now,” Bruce explains. “She’s pissed off at you two, by the way.”

Now they look scared. This scares them. Their shared girlfriend being pissed off at them scares them, but running head first into a barrage of bullets, missiles, knives, bombs...that doesn’t bother them in the least. Okay…

“Why?” Steve asks. 

“Really?” Natasha asks in return. “The only time you’ve been here is when she’s been sleeping off the anesthesia.”

“Shit,” Bucky hisses. “Now what do we do?”

“Go see her?” Bruce offers like that should be obvious. It should be, but given what these two want to accomplish, that’s not the best choice here. 

“I”ll fix it. Do what you need to do. I hope for your sakes she appreciates this,” Natasha says taking the armfuls of shit from Steve. “Bruce, a little help.”

Bruce takes the stuff from Bucky, struggling with the nonsense Bucky brought in. Both Steve and Bucky are hesitating.

“Go, get her moved back here. Do it before I change my mind and send you in there so she tears you to shreds.

“Thank you, Nat,” Steve says gratefully. 

“Thanks,” Bucky says. 

“GO!” she yells at them. The jump and finally take off.  “Is she really pissed off?” she asks Bruce.

“She’s not happy.”

Chapter

Shaye is sitting up in the hospital bed pissed off to a whole new level of pissed off. No word from Steve or Bucky. Not one fucking thing. No one knows where they are currently. Apparently, they only show up when she’s sleeping. What sort of shit is that?

She sees someone coming towards the room door. Two people, carrying flowers, balloons, teddybears...she forgets to be mad, certain that this is Bucky and Steve coming to see her and being stupid with gifts. 

Then she sees Natasha and Dr. Banner and she moves well beyond being pissed off. 

“Your boyfriends went a little apeshit,” Natasha says putting her armful of shit down. Banner does the same. The balloons float to the ceiling. Shaye hopes they explode. The flowers go on the counter by the sink. Roses, carnations, lilies, and an assortment of others she can’t identify. Banner puts the teddybear he has on the foot of the bed. Natasha is studying her, holding the other bear. 

“Where are they, Natasha?” Shaye asks trying to maintain her composure. This woman saved her, it’s not her fault the two assholes aren’t here.

“They got called someplace near the Iranian border.”

“Why didn’t you go?”

“She’s recovering from a fractured rib and a gunshot wound,” Banner says answering for her. Shaye skews an eyebrow at him. 

“They asked me to pick this shit up and bring it to you. They miss you and they’re worried.”

“Clearly since they only show up when I’m sleeping.”

“Dr. Banner, you’re needed,” a nurse says popping into the room quickly. 

“Don’t kill each other, please,” Banner says. He sounds like he’s only partially joking. 

“You’ve been sleeping off the anesthesia. They’ve been here, Shaye, both of them. They watch everyone coming in and out of the room like hawks, they’ve hounded Dr. Hammond and Bruce about your recovery. They took what happened exceptionally hard. They don’t understand why you didn’t go to medical when they asked -”

“Because I didn’t think anything was wrong, Natasha,” Shaye snarls. Natasha doesn’t bat an eyelash. Shaye sighs. Natasha deals with assholes, terrorists, super soldiers, military, spies, fuckheads...why would she be phased by a pissed off, cranky civilian?

“I didn’t say why I didn’t understand. They don’t. They only know that they saw you in pain and they didn’t know what to do.”

“I know,” Shaye relents. “I know. I haven’t seen them.”

“You really like those two idiots, don’t you?” Natasha asks. Shaye can tell by the look on Natasha’s face that she’s testing Shaye.

“I do.”

“Don’t be pissed off at them for not being able to be here, Shaye. You know what they do. Has Bruce or Hammond told you about the blood transfusion yet?”

This is news. 

“Blood transfusion?” Shaye asks. 

“I’ll take that as a no.”

“Natasha. What transfusion?” Shaye demands. 

“Let me get Bruce. I can only tell you that you lost a lot of blood and the only matching donor was Steve.”

She puts the teddybear down and exits the room to look for Dr. Banner.  Shaye’s trying to wrap her mind around what Natasha just told her.

Dr. Banner comes into the room followed by Natasha and Dr. Hammond. 

“We were going to tell you once we felt you were a little more coherent,” Banner states.

“The surgery went well. I removed the remaining polyps and cleaned up some of the scar tissue. You’re healing remarkably well.”

“Steve gave me his blood. Why?” Shaye asks. She’s ignoring this other shit for now.

“You were bleeding out,” Banner explains. “By the time Natasha got you here...had you waited any longer to call it may have been too late. Steve and one other person in the state were the only matches. Steve volunteered -”

“The shit that made him superman, though...what the fuck?” Shaye can’t wrap her mind around this.

“That’s why you’re healing as fast as you are,” Dr. Hammond states.

“The serum that was in Steve’s blood has bonded with yours. The healing properties in the serum are now in you. That’s all we know for right now. Things may change down the road, they may not. You may just have that benefit of the healing, you may pick up the strength and speed. Only time will tell.”

“I’m one of them now?” Shaye asks.

“No. Not yet. Maybe not ever,” Bruce says. He makes it sound like this is no big deal. How the fuck is this not a big deal?

“Look at the facts as they are now,” Dr. Hammond begins, “you just had surgery. You had to have a blood transfusion. Both of those require weeks to recover. You’re barely three days out and you’re showing signs of healing that shouldn’t be possible for another week or week and half from now.”

“What happens when the serum wears off?” Shaye asks. 

“It’s not going to, Shaye,” Bruce states. “That’s not how the serum works -”

“But you’ve only ever seen it work as far as Bucky and Steve go, right? How’d they get there’s?” Shaye asks. 

“Direct injection. Steve volunteered. Bucky was a test subject for Hydra,” Natasha says.

“Right. You’re the only person I know of that has been given the serum via blood transfusion. Your body could have rejected his blood, the serum or both. It didn’t. Right now you’re reaping the benefits of the healing factor, the serum has amped up your cell regeneration. I can’t say what will happen from here, Shaye. I can only monitor and evaluate as time goes on. If you’re agreeable to that.”

Shaye chews her lip thinking about what Bruce has said, what Dr. Hammond has said. 

“How long till I’m completely healed?” she asks. 

“I’d like to do an ultrasound and check on the progress,” Dr. Hammond says. 

“Sure,” Shaye says. “The healing factor...does that heal scars?” she asks as Dr. Hammond heads out.

“No scars would form because of the regeneration at the cellular level,” Bruce states.

“Bucky has scars,” Shaye counters.

“He had a different version of the serum.” Natasha is the one to respond to Shaye’s statement. 

“Steve doesn’t. I’m sure you noticed,” Bruce says with a slick grin. Natasha laughs.

“You’re an asshole. Is that a prerequisite to be a member of this funky outfit?” Shaye asks.

“Yes,” Bruce answers seriously. Natasha is smirking. 

“At least you’re honest,” Shaye mutters. 

“Back to the question - Steve doesn’t have scars because of the regeneration. As rapidly as you’re healing you won’t have any scarring from the surgery, either. In theory, that is.”

Dr. Hammond comes back into the room with an ultrasound tech and the portable machine. 

“This won’t take long. I’ll give you the results as soon as we’re finished, Dr. Banner. Excuse us,” Dr. Hammond says dismissing Banner and Natasha. They leave the room, but not without some glaring at Dr. Hammond.

“What did Dr. Banner tell you?” Dr. Hammond asks as she gloves up. 

“I’m healing fast. Possibility that there won’t be any scarring from the surgery.”

“Lift your gown. You, leave,” Dr. Hammond says addressing the tech. The tech looks confused but does as they’re instructed and leaves. Shaye is miffed by this. She lifts her gown and cocks her head. Her stomach seems flatter…

Dr. Hammond squeezes the ice cold gel onto Shaye’s stomach and starts the machine. She presses the wand harshly against her stomach and pelvic areas, staring intently at the screen. 

“I did my own research on this serum that’s in Captain Rogers generous donation to you. While I’m sure Dr. Banner knows more than I will ever find out, I was able to find out some things.” She stops pressing on Shaye’s bladder finally, turns off the machine and takes off the gloves.

“Are you going to tell me?” Shaye asks. Hammond hands her a washcloth to wipe the gel up with.

“You have no scar tissue from the surgery, Shaye. None.”

“The surgery won’t leave anymore scars. Good. I don’t need any -”

“No. Scars. Zero. Not even from the miscarriages.”

Shaye isn’t sure she heard this right. 

“What?”

“Your uterus is almost completely healed. The scar tissue has vanished and your muscles are showing signs of getting stronger.”

“This is good, right?” Shaye asks excitedly. “If I wanted to have a baby…”

“You’d be able to conceive with no issues at this rate. There are other concerns.”

Shaye’s building euphoria at hearing she could have a baby is halted by Hammond’s words. 

“What concerns? Dr. Banner doesn’t seem concerned -”

“Do you know who you’re involved with?” Hammond asks. Shaye is uneasy suddenly. 

“Not entirely, but you seem to know.”

“The Avengers are controlled by a group known as SHIELD. They’re front is counter terrorism, the real purpose isn’t so patriotic.”

“Who are you?” Shaye demands. This is fucking stupid. And scary.

“Someone looking out for your best interests right now. Whatever Dr. Banner told you is most likely only half the truth if any truth at all. That serum was designed to make superior soldiers for war time. Captain Rogers was their first test subject. You see how that worked out. The serum was lost, according to  _ ‘official’ _ records,” Hammond says using finger quotes when she says  _ official _ . 

“You can find that shit in the museum. What the hell are you getting at? Who the fuck are you?”

“I’m getting at the fact that there is no more serum. There is no way to reproduce it, though I’m sure they’ve tried. The other creations like your two boyfriends were exterminated, by your boyfriends -”

Shaye is pulling the tape off her hand from the IV. She needs to get out of here. This is some next level shit and she’s not down for this right now.

Hammond clamps her hand over Shaye’s to stop her.

“Listen to me. There were other donors. I went off of what Banner told me. Rogers wasn’t the only one, nor was the so called one other person in the state of New York. You were bleeding out, I took him at his word. We presented the choice to Rogers, Banner knew he’d take the bait. If the transfusion failed, if your body rejected it they could write it off, tell your friends anything they like about your death, and they can start over -”

“Shut the fuck up and get off of me. You have lost your goddamn mind,” Shaye snaps. Hammond grabs her wrist and squeezes. 

“I’m trying to warn you. This is a set up. They’re using you as a test subject. They lost the other monsters they created years ago, and they’re working on making a new batch, starting with you. A female that they can train, control and breed. If the serum can’t be extracted, if they can’t reproduce it, they can breed you. Force you to spawn the soldiers they need till they can perfect how to clone them. You are a pawn -”

“What the fuck?! I don’t fucking believe you or any of this horseshit! What the -”  
Hammond covers Shaye’s mouth so she can’t scream or yell. Shaye is tied down to the IV that yanks and pulls with each movement. 

“I can take you someplace where you’ll be safe. They won’t find you. You won’t be a broodmare for the apocalypse -”

There’s a knock at the door and Natasha walks in. Shaye sees her hand on the holster strapped to her thigh.

“Dr. Hammond, is there a problem?” 

“No. She was a little excitable. I’m trying to calm her down.”

“Shaye?”

Shaye isn’t sure what to say, what to do, what to believe. The look in Hammond’s eyes is enough to make Shaye hesitate, plant that seed of doubt about what is going on.

“I’m alright,” Shaye hears herself say. 

“I will find you,” Hammond whispers in a harsh breath against Shaye’s ear. She lets Shaye go and walks out of the room. Natasha watches her go, hand still on her holstered weapon. 

“What really happened?” Natasha asks. Shaye doesn’t know how to answer that or if she should. 

Chapter

“Look at this,” Steve says pulling a box of photo albums from Shaye’s closet. Bucky comes over to see what Steve’s got now. 

“Picture albums. Lots of them from the looks of things,” Bucky says taking the box from Steve. 

“I want to look through them with her.”

“That’ll have to wait. This shit won’t pack itself and there’s a lot of it.”

“She got it started, Buck. There’s really not that much. Her clothes are mostly at home, she said she didn’t want the mattress and box spring, and the desk and table get donated -”

“Steve,” Bucky says as he rubs his right shoulder, “we have her dishes, pots, pans, silverware, pictures on the wall, the bed linens, the towels, the bathroom stuff, all her movies, the laptop, the TV, the couch -”

“Donated.”

“Fine, not the couch. The point is that there’s a lot and the moving company is going to be here,” he looks at his watch, “in about five minutes.”

“We have to find the bunny,” Steve says being stupidly serious.

“What bunny?” Bucky has no idea what the fuck Steve’s talking about. Shaye doesn’t have a pet.

“The bunny.”

“What the hell is wrong with you today?” Bucky demands. Steve’s been acting daffy all goddamn day. He knows part of it is that they’re moving Shaye’s stuff as a surprise and that she’ll finally be home with them permanently, but this is next level for him. 

“I’m happy. Aren’t you? She gets to come home to a set up apartment, with her own room, we’ll all be living together, and she’s healing faster than they thought she would. She took to the serum, Buck.”

“Steve -”

“I’m not back on the baby thing. I promise. I’m happy because she’ll be more resilient now to things, less likely to get injured if something were to happen.”

Bucky has other concerns. Namely that SHIELD will decide they want another Black Widow or an easily manipulated Winter Soldier and they’ll take her. Shield is no different than Hydra in some regards, find a means to the end regardless of the cost.

“Buck.”

Bucky looks at Steve, but keeps his mouth shut about his paranoia.

“Why are you just standing there?”

“My head hurts,” Bucky grumbles. That’s the truth. He’s stressed, tired, and worried about Shaye. 

“How bad?” Steve asks. Bucky hears the genuine concern in his voice.

“Bad enough. I’ll deal with it. Her vibrator is in the box on the bed if that’s the bunny you’re referring to.”

He’d packed that while Steve was pulling boxes from the closet and examining their contents.

Steve’s curiosity gets the better of him and he goes to look. 

“Which box?”

“Top right of the bed by the nightstand. I’m going to pack the bathroom.”

He walks into her bathroom to start pulling the shower curtain down.

“What the fuck does she even need this for?” Steve asks coming into the bathroom still holding the vibe. He’s confused and mildly disgusted which Bucky finds hilarious. 

“To get herself off, you ass. You know damn well she’s not been with a man for a few years. You expect her to just lay in bed and stare at the ceiling?” Bucky asks and then just howls with laughter at how agitated Steve looks now.

“She needs a vibrating bunny thing to do that?”

“Watch some porn once. Just once. Learn a little something,” Bucky teases. Steve figures out how to turn it on and they both jump. 

“Yeah, right. Act like you know what the hell is going on with this thing and it scared the shit out of you, too,” Steve says being smarmy. 

“Shut up and put the damn thing away or I’ll tell her you used it.”

“How would I use - Fuck you, Barnes,” Steve snaps and stomps out of the room. Bucky has to sit on the commode because he’s laughing so hard.

“Keep it up, asshole!” Steve yells from the bedroom. That doesn’t help and Bucky just continues to laugh. 

“Oh god...hearing you drop the F bomb is probably the funniest goddamn thing -”

“I will kick your ass into next Thursday,” Steve promises as he pulls a dresser drawer out, turns it over a box and empties the contents of the drawer into said box. 

“Whatever,” Bucky laughs as he goes back to packing up the bathroom. He can hear Steve just dumping drawer after drawer into the box. Shaye’s going to have a fit. Maybe. 

He pulls the shower curtain down and folds it carefully. Everything in here smells like her and it’s maddening. Touching this stuff and not being able to touch her is torture. He’d give anything to hold her right now. 

“Hey,” Steve says standing in the doorway, “Natasha is on the phone. You need to hear this.”

Chapter

“Tell me what you heard when you were in the hall,” Steve says. Natasha is on the phone with some concern for Dr. Hammond. 

“She kicked everyone out of the room. I saw the ultrasound tech pacing around the hall and went to see what the hell was going on. I heard Shaye being vocal -”

“Yelling? Screaming? Was she in trouble?” Bucky demands. 

“No, just loudly agitated. I knocked and walked in and Hammond had Shaye by the wrist, Shaye was clearly aggravated about something. She had all but pulled the IV out of her arm. I asked Shaye if she was alright. She didn’t answer right away, then she said she was. Hammond made a quick exit and no one has seen her since -”

“Where is Shaye?” Steve questions, cutting off Natasha. 

“Still in the room. Bruce pulled all the documentation he had on this woman. It’s all legit, it’s all valid, at least on initial inspection.”

“Is Shaye alright?” Bucky asks. Steve can see the anger building in Buck’s eyes. 

“She’s standoffish. One word answers, she’s impatient. She asked me once since this where you two are. I told her the same story as before about being called away to the Iranian border for something. Whatever Hammond told her has her on edge.”

“And this woman is legit? This isn’t somebody posing as a whatever kind of doctor?” Bucky asks. 

“Like I said, as of right now it’s all legit, everything checks out. On paper at least.”

“No idea where she went?” Steve asks. This isn’t good.

“No, hold on,” Natasha says hastily. Steve can hear Maria Hill’s voice.

“She’s a doctor. Legitimate gynecologist. She is employed at Mercy Saints Hospital, has been for the last year. She’s military trained...all of this matches to what Bruce has on her,” Natasha says. He can hear Natasha and Maria discussing something, but not what they’re actually saying. 

“She’s a medic for a government outfit called STAR - Surveillance, Target Acquisition and Reconnaissance. We’ve been breached. Get the fuck back here now!” Natasha orders. 

“On our way. Do not let Shaye out of your sight.” Steve barks the order and hangs up the phone. 

“Movers just pulled up. Let’s give them the key and go. This is fucking bullshit,” Bucky growls. 

They give the key to the movers, the instructions are short and sweet: pack up her shit, put it in the truck, drive it to New York. They will be met by someone at the rendezvous point as planned. The movers don’t argue, not that it would have mattered because the minute the instructions were given Steve and Bucky were out the door. 

Chapter

Shaye peels at the tape over the IV. Natasha and some other chic in a uniform have been rushing back and forth in front of her door. Banner has only come in once, looking like a frightened deer, asking her if she was okay. Still no word from Steve or Bucky. Something isn’t right.

This woman, this Dr. Hammond said that Banner had baited Steve into doing the transfusion. Neither Bucky or Steve knew what was going on, but everything else was a set up. There’s no logic to this. The polyps and the scar tissue were her issue long before she met either of the guys. But Natasha had pulled her medical records. They knew about the scar tissue, but the polyps were undiagnosed. No one would have been able to predict she’d have one pop and rip open her fucking uterus. They wouldn’t have known she’d damn near bleed out. But the donor thing...New York is a big fucking state. New Jersey is a stone’s throw away. She doesn’t know what her blood type is but she can’t imagine it’s so goddamn rare that only Steve Rogers super serum blood would be a match. Who’s telling the truth? Hammond said she’d find her. That was more of a threat than anything else. 

Shaye pulls the sheets back and looks at her stomach. It’s flat and defined now. The muscles in her arms and legs are showing definition as well. There’s no pain from the surgery. Nothing. She doesn’t know what’s in that IV drip, though. 

More movement in the hall. More people in uniform moving with a purpose. 

She peels the tape off and looks at the IV. She clenches her jaw and pulls. It stings for a moment, the blood pooling to the surface. She blots it with the blanket and presses down to stop the bleeding. It takes a minute or two to stop. 

There’s a knock on the door and Natasha walks in. Shaye’s fight or flight instincts kick in. Natasha pauses just inside the door. 

“I’m not your enemy, Shaye.”

“Where are Steve and Bucky?” Shaye growls. 

“I told you -”

“You’re lying.”

“What do I have to gain from lying to you about where they are?” Natasha fires back. 

“I don’t know. Maybe nothing. Maybe something. Where’s Dr. Hammond?”

“I was hoping you could tell us. She seems to have disappeared.” 

Natasha speaks in a monotone voice, emotionless and flat. She won’t give anything away to Shaye. 

“How the hell would I know where she went, Natasha? I was in here the entire time.” Shaye matches Natasha’s empty tone. 

“What was she saying to you before I came into the room?”

Who does Shaye trust? The secret agent who runs with the men who have her heart or the doctor who claims to have her safety in mind? 

“Steve and Bucky may be in danger.”

That was a low blow. Clay used this kind of fear tactic with her before he started beating her into submission. What scares you the most is the thing that will be used against you the most. 

“I thought you said they were on a mission at the Iranian border, Natasha.” 

Chapter

Steve and Bucky are met at the airport by Sam and Wanda. Bucky can see plain clothes SHIELD agents moving around. 

“We have a situation,” Sam tells them in a hushed voice. 

“Where is -”

“Say nothing else. We’re being watched. Store front, ticket counter, and mezzanine,” Sam hisses. Wanda loops her arm in Bucky’s and gives him a huge smile. It’s an act. He smiles back, that pretend grin he’s had to use on a few occasions. Wanda puts her head on his shoulder. They’re just a happy couple heading home now. 

“Pull your hair back,” he hears her whisper. He feels her hand in his giving him a hair tie. He pulls it back, puts his arm around her waist and pulls her closer. 

Sam snags a hat from one of the stores and hands it to Steve. Five finger discount at its finest. Steve loses his current hat, puts the other one on. They’re almost to the doors. 

Bucky can see the people Sam mentioned moving from their positions. The other SHIELD agents are running interference. Whatever happened has the agency up in arms. If anything happened to Shaye there will be hell to pay. 

“Smile for me, big guy. I missed you,” Wanda says cheerfully. He looks at her and smiles. She’s keeping him in check, making sure he plays along. She’s a good kid. They head outside.

The black SUVs have been swapped for the more generic vehicles. Sam and Steve head to a late 80s camaro. Wanda takes Bucky’s hand and pulls him towards a Dodge Charger. If it weren’t for the situation at hand here, he’d be making fun of Steve for his shitty ride. Now isn’t the time. Wanda hands him the keys and he fires up the engine.

“Take the Holland Tunnel. They’ll be going through the Port Authority.”

“We need to get -”

“And we will, Buck. Look in the rearview, tell me if we’re being tailed,” Wanda says. 

“We are,” he tells her looking in the rear view at the silver Navigator with two not very conspicuously dressed people in the front. 

“She’s safe, Bucky. Vision and Natasha are keeping watch over her. Although, she and Natasha are not playing well together right now.”

“Oh for fucks sake,” Bucky grouses. “That’s our fault.”

“How?”

“We wanted to move Shaye up here while she was recovering. We went and started packing up her when Natasha called. It was supposed to be a surprise.”

“James Barnes, you really do love this girl don’t you?” Wanda asks sounding incredibly pleased. Bucky smiles. 

“I do.”

“Are you and Steve still doing the double dating thing with her?”

“We are.”

“He loves her, too, I’m guessing.”

“Am I being interrogated, officer? Can I have my one phone call to call my lawyer?”

Wanda laughs. 

“Didn’t I tell you she’d answer if you called her?” 

“Smartass,” Bucky mumbles. 

“Are they still behind us?” she asks. 

“No. Wait...oh shit…”

“Wanda, talk to me,” Bucky says looking in the rear view again. 

“Three unmarkeds, two coming up on the right, one coming up behind.”

“Is your comm working?”

“Once we get in the tunnel nothing works.”

“Call Natasha or Maria. We need someone to run interference. Steve and Sam are most likely in the same situation.”

Bucky looks in the rear view. Only one car can be seen. The other two are coming up on his blindspots.

“Wanda, if you’re armed you may want to pull it.”

“You forget who you’re dealing with,” she says hanging up the phone. Bucky can see the red glow coming from her hands. She’s not fucking around. 

Bucky floors it and sends the Charger barrelling into the Holland Tunnel. He whips around the other vehicles barely leaving enough room between them. The unmarkeds aren’t going to be thrown so easily. The tunnel converges into one lane ahead, barrells and concrete jersey walls start appearing to narrow the lane. 

Bucky push

es the Charger to go faster, racing up alongside of a dump truck as the lane comes to an end. The unmarked on his left has dropped back forcing the one that was on his tail to brake hard to avoid hitting them. 

“Bucky!” Wanda yells as the lane ends and the barrier wall shreds the side view mirror off the Charger. He gets around the dump truck just as the barrier wall closes off the lane entirely. 

He looks in his rearview again. The unmarkeds are out of sight now. Now it’s time to go get Shaye. 

Chapter

“You want to tell me what the hell is going on, Cap?” Sam demands as he whips the camaro around traffic on the George Washington Bridge. 

“I don’t know. Something with Shaye and the doctor that did her surgery not being who they claimed to be.”

“We’re being followed.”

“Can we lose them?” Steve asks. He looks at the side view mirror. There’s a Durango flying up on them incredibly fast. 

“We can try.”

Steve watches the Durango cut off car after car trying to catch up to them. 

“Why the hell did they get the Charger?” Sam yells as he whips hard around a sedan. Steve bounces his shoulder off of the door hard enough to make him wince. 

“Sorry, Cap,” Sam says hastily. Steve looks in the side view again. 

“Calvary is coming, Sam. At least one bike and looks like the RAM truck.”

“I see them. There’s a Jeep that just cut off that damn Durango.”

“Get me back to the compound, Sam. I need to get to Shaye.”

“Hang on,” Sam says and punches it. 

Chapter

Shaye is locked in the hospital room. Locked. Natasha had chosen not to  engage Shaye in her accusation of Bucky and Steve’s whereabouts. One thing is for certain, they are not anywhere near the Iranian fucking border. 

She paces the room trying to find a way out. She’s in nothing but a hospital gown. There’s nothing in here to use to break down the door. 

The IV needle is on the floor next to the bed where she dropped it when she pulled it out. She looks at the door. There’s no lock, but maybe she can force the lock where it meets the door frame. 

She picks up the needle and kneels down at the door, carefully working the needle between the lock and the frame. The needle starts to bend and give way too much. Shaye’s pressing her luck here, the needle won’t be strong enough...but if she can get the plastic piece in there…

Time ticks away endlessly as she gingerly works the needle until the she can get the plastic to wedge and she pushes hard while holding down the door handle. The lock gives just enough she can yank the door open. She startles a few of the uniforms but takes off before they are able to pull their shit together and grab her. Shaye runs down the hall looking for anything that will cover her body and hide her. 

She takes a hard left, hearing people yelling for her to stop. By now she should be winded, she’s thankful she isn’t. She runs into a cleaning cart and nearly topples over it. There’s a janitor’s closet. She opens the door. Nothing. Cleaning supplies, mops, buckets, nothing she can use. 

“Shit,” she hisses. She hears hasty footfalls and quietly closes herself in the closet. 

“Where did she go?”

“How the hell should I know?”

“Widow is going to kill us if we don’t find her!”

“We weren’t supposed to be watching her, Hawkins was. How the fuck is this our fault?”

She hears them run off, their boots thudding down the hall. She exhales slowly and opens the door, peering cautiously into the hall. It’s empty. She has to find clothes and she has to find a way out of here. After that she’ll try and make her way back to the apartment. Maybe Steve and Bucky are there. She needs them, but more importantly she needs to know that they’re alright. 

She heads down the hall quietly. She sees an open storage room. It’s scrubs. A wall of nothing but scrubs, another of masks, booties, and surgical gowns and covers. The last wall makes Shaye smile. Track suits, jogging pants, hooded sweatshirts in velour, cotton, spandex. There’s socks, tee shirts and god love this place there’s fucking tennis shoes. She’s never heard of something like this in a hospital, but then again she’s not made any effort to stay in one long enough to find out just what the hell they keep on hand. She grabs what will fit, pulling everything as fast as possible. She pauses when she hears footfalls again, stepping back into the shadows as whoever it is runs past. She slinks to the door, checks the hall and takes off running again. She has to find a way out. She has to find Bucky and Steve. 

Chapter

Steve arrives moments after Bucky and Wanda get out of the Charger. Maria meets them just inside.

“Shaye is loose inside the compound -”

“What?!” Bucky yells. “How the fuck...she’s not a goddamn dog, Hill!”

“What do you mean she’s loose?” Steve growls. 

“We felt it would be safest for her to remain in her room under lock and key. No one goes in or out without Romanoff or myself being there to monitor -”

“You locked her up? In her room? What the fuck is wrong with you?” Bucky demands. 

“Where is she?”

“We don’t know. We’re searching now.”

“How the hell did she get out if the door was locked?” Steve asks as they run inside. 

“She pulled the door from the frame.”

Bucky and Steve stop in their tracks.

“Excuse me?” Sam says.

“The serum is in full effect in her. Whether she knows that or not, I don’t know. She pulled the door from the frame, snapping the lock and splitting the door frame,” Maria explains. 

“The serum?” Wanda asks. “The super soldier serum? How did she get it?”

“We’ll cover that later,” Steve states. 

“She pulled the door apart to escape,” Bucky mutters. He looks at Steve. Natasha runs up to them, completely out of breath.

“She’s still inside. She’s fast. Holy shit, it’s like chasing Buck through Romania again,” she pants. “I tried to keep her safe -”

“We know, Nat. Now we have to find her. Go left with Wanda. Sam, you and Maria go right. I want somebody looking at the monitors to see if we can pinpoint where she is before she gets out,” Steve orders. Natasha’s doubled over, hands on her thighs trying to catch her breath. She gives Steve a mock salute and she and Wanda take off. Sam and Maria head in another direction and Steve and Bucky run in yet another. 

They’ve covered three different halls now. Bucky calls Natasha to see if they’ve had any luck.

“Nothing. We have another problem.”

“Don’t fucking tell me she left, Nat,” Bucky warns. 

“We have company.”

Bucky freezes. Steve stops a half step after he does. 

“Buck?”

“How many?” 

“Unknown,” Natasha answers.

“Uniformed.”

“Scrubs.”

“Not both?”

“Negative.”

“Tell Sam,” Bucky says hanging up. Steve’s eyes are blazing right now.

“How deep are we?” Steve asks. 

“Deep,” Bucky says looking quickly at some scrub clad people. Steve grinds his teeth.

They don’t say another word. They push past the staff and agents, walking briskly. They’re scanning the faces of the medical staff looking for Shaye. Bucky is looking for those haunting gray eyes. 

They come to the end of another hall and they see Sam running past them followed by Maria. 

“She went this way,” Sam yells.

“Head her off,” Steve orders Bucky slapping him in the chest before he chases after Sam. Bucky darts down the other hall, running as fast as he can. 

He rounds to the other side and sees Shaye running as fast as she can from someone. She’s looking behind her and crashes into him. She swings, not realizing who he is.

“Easy, baby, easy,” Bucky says catching her fist before she can connect. 

“ _ Bucky! _ ” 

She throws herself into his arms. She’s shaking and breathing hard. 

“Shaye!”

“Steve?” 

She refuses to let Bucky go, which he is perfectly fine with, as Steve runs towards them. 

 

hapter   
  
Shaye is in Bucky's arms when she hears Steve yell her name. She turns to look, staying in Bucky's grasp as Steve runs to her. She sees the happy and relieved look on Steve face change to terror. He yells for Bucky to get down. Bucky is trying to shield Shaye when the white hot pain erupts from her back and shoulder blade. There are screams and cries all around. Shaye feels like she's floating to the floor the pain carrying her further from Bucky and Steve. She sees their tear filled faces and hears their anguished cries as the light begins to fade around her. As the light fades, so too does the sound and the pain until there is nothing but the empty void.   
  
Shaye's eyes fly open and she looks around. She's in a hospital room again, but this one is very different from the other. There is a curtain drawn between the room, separating it. The TV isn't a large flat screen, but a shelf mounted old CRT tube TV.   
  
Where the fuck is she?   
  
She tries to sit up and there is blinding pain in her chest and back.   
  
"Well hello there. We were wondering when you would wake up."   
  
Shaye sees the nurse get up from a chair in the corner of the room.   
  
"Where am I?" Shaye tries to ask. There's something in her mouth, blocking her throat.   
  
"Okay, okay, well get the tube out. Hang on," the nurse says disappearing from the room.   
  
Shaye tried to sit up again. The pain immobilizes her immediately.   
  
The nurse comes back followed by a doctor.   
  
"Relax, miss, just relax," the doctor tells her. The nurse holds her head still as the doctor pulls the tube. Her throat tries to close, she tries to choke and is scolded by the doctor to stop and relax. Easier said than done. The tube is yanked out and she coughs and gags trying to get her throat to open so she can breathe.   
  
The doctor gives Shaye a few moments to collect herself before asking questions.   
  
“Do you know where you are?” the doctor asks. Shaye tries to speak, but her throat is still enraged. She shakes her head no.   
  
“Mercy hospital,” the doctor says pulling the chair over to the bed. “Get her some water,” he orders the nurse. She hurries off.   
  
Shaye tries again to speak. Still nothing.   
  
“Do you know how you got here?”   
  
Shaye thinks about this. She was with Bucky in his arms, she was hit with something, it hurt like hell…   
  
“You were shot. Your boyfriend or roommate or whatever he was shot you in the back. You’ve been in here in a coma for almost a month. The bullet grazed your heart and nicked a major vein.”   
  
Shaye shakes her head. This isn’t right.   
  
“No?” the doctor asks. The nurse comes in with the water and hands it to Shaye. She drinks it down greedily.   
  
“Better?” the doctor asks.   
  
“Yes,” Shaye manages to croak.   
  
“You don’t remember anything or you don’t remember being shot?” the doctor asks. He lifts her wrist and checks her pulse.   
  
“Who shot me?” Shaye asks. It wasn’t Bucky. It wasn’t Steve. Roommate? What the hell is this asshole talking about? The nurse looks at the doctor who grimaces.   
  
“There’s a detective assigned to your case. We’ll let her know you’re awake, she can go over what happened. My priority is to make sure you’re healed and get you moving again. I’ll let our physical therapy folks know you’re awake,” the doctor says getting up. Shaye doesn’t say anything.   
  
“How about we see if we can get you some soup from the kitchen?” the nurse says patting her shoulder. “Let’s see what’s on TV and I’ll go order the soup,” she adds. She turns on the TV, hands Shaye the oversized call box/TV remote then leaves. Shaye looks at the remote trying to figure out where she is and where her guys are. She hears something on the TV that freezes her blood.   
  
“On today’s Avengers watch Bucky Barnes was spotted with Hungarian model Ilyena on his arm in New York yesterday…”   
  
Shaye looks up at the TV in horror. There was Bucky glaring at the camera with a rail thin blonde on his arm in sunglasses. She’s not just on his arm, she’s practically attached to him, her hand is planted just above his crotch.   
  
“Also spotted recently : Tony Stark otherwise known as IronMan and Captain America himself along with their respective others, Virginia Potts and Sharon Carter -”   
  
“No…no…,” Shaye cries trying to get out of the bed. What the hell is happening? Where is she?   
  
The alarms all begin to go off on the machines as she tries to rip everything off. The nurse comes in, panics and runs back out. She returns only moments later with the doctor and some orderlies.   
  
“Relax! You’re safe!” the nurse says trying to calm her. Shaye is fighting them. She has to get out.   
  
“No! No! Where are Steve and Bucky? Who are you?” Shaye screams. She’s pinned by the orderlies.   
  
“Get me ten milligrams of diazepam now!” the doctor yells.   
  
“Where are Steve and Bucky!” Shaye yells again.   
  
“Stop struggling, darlin’ or we’re going to have to belt you down,” an orderly barks in her ear. She struggles more.   
  
“NURSE!” the doctor yells. She comes running in with a syringe. “Hold her,” the doctor orders. Shaye feels liquid fire racing through her veins. Everything slows to a crawl.  Whatever she was fighting to do is no longer of any importance.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter   
  
Shaye opens her eyes and sees an all too familiar face. Dr. Hammond. She cringes and tries to get away. This bitch here…   
  
“Relax, Miss Delgado. My name is Detective Hammond. I was assigned to your case.”   
  
“What case?” Shaye croaks. Her throat is raw like she’s been screaming for days.   
  
“The doctor said you didn’t seem to recall anything. Let me give you the facts as I have them and then maybe you can tell me what you do remember.”   
  
“You’re not a detective.”   
  
“Well, you might want to tell the captain at my precinct that and figure out how the hell I got this badge,” she says handing Shaye her badge and ID. It looks real. Jesus Christ, what the fuck is happening??   
  
“Oh god,” she groans. Everything hurts. She looks up at the TV. They left the news on. Turmoil at the Iranian border, the Avengers have sent Steve and Bucky there to help try and calm things down.   
  
“Worried about those fools?” Hammond asks thinking that’s why Shaye groaned. “They aren’t worried about you, only themselves.”   
  
“What happened?” Shaye rasps. She needs answers. None of this makes sense. She was with them. They were together, the three of them…   
  
“The police were called for reports of gunfire at your home. The one you shared with…” Hammond takes out a small notebook and flips the pages, “Clay March. Apparently, there was an altercation between you two and he shot you in the back -”   
  
“No,” Shaye says starting to cry. This was over years ago. She’d left him. This is over. It’s not happening.   
  
“I’m sorry, Miss Delgado, but those are the facts as they stand. We don’t know what the altercation was over, Mr. March lawyered up and refused to speak to us. He at least had the courtesy to call an ambulance for you. He’s currently in lock up awaiting trial. My question to you is - what the hell set him off this time? We have reports from previous hospital visits that all indicate this was an ongoing domestic violence issue.”   
  
Shaye shakes her head, the tears continue to fall. She was past this. She’d moved on. She was in New York with Bucky and Steve and they were moving in together and she’d just had surgery and there was this other shit and…   
  
She pulls the blankets back and lifts the hospital gown. Hammond looks at her quizzically. Her stomach isn’t flat and defined, there is no definition in her legs or arms.   
  
“Miss Delgado, I need to know if you can tell me what happened. He’s being held for attempted murder, we don’t need you to press charges if that’s what you’re afraid of. We just need your statement.”   
  
Shaye looks at the TV again. A commercial for some entertainment show pops up showing flashes of famous celebs and the Avengers. Shaye hangs her head and weeps.   
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter   
  
Shaye is sitting upright in the hospital bed stirring the soup around and around. Dr. Gladstone is on a chair next to her, head slightly tilted. She’s an older doctor, well seasoned, very calm, great bedside manner. She’d calmed Shaye down without using a sedative. She heard Gladstone giving the other doctor a raft of shit about sedating her the first time.   
  
“It seemed so real,” Shaye says finally.   
  
“Yeah. I’m sure it did. It was your mind’s way of coping with the fact that your body was broken and healing. Your subconscious picked up what was playing on the TV and wove you a tapestry to keep your brain preoccupied while your body recovered. You’re not the first person who has come out of a coma saying something like this. You won’t be the last. The human brain is a goddamn marvel. We don’t understand a fraction of what it can do yet,” Gladstone explains.   
  
“I dreamt all of that.”   
  
“You’ve got a pretty good imagination, Shaye. I’m guessing you hated math and science in school right?”   
  
“Yeah, why?”   
  
“You’re right brained. Creative thinker. Writers, artists, musicians, they all have wild imaginations. Just so long as you understand that it was just a dream, just a fantasy, none of that was real. You don’t know those boys, and from what I’ve gathered you’ve never been to New York except in this dream, right?” Gladstone asks.   
  
“No. I was never...I didn’t win the trip I guess either.”   
  
“Probably not. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go. I mean, New York is a great city to go visit. Just don’t go on the soul intention of finding Captain America and his sidekick. That’s just setting yourself up for disappointment.”   
  
“Do I have friends?”   
  
“I don’t know, Shaye. No one has called for you. Do you have any family?”   
  
“No. No one has stopped by?” she asks.   
  
“Just the staff. I have a feeling based on what you went through over the past several years that any friends you did have long since severed ties with you or you with them because of the dirtbag you were with.”   
  
Shaye sighs heavily. She has to pick up and rebuild again. She has to start all over.   
  
“There’s a women’s shelter -”   
  
“On Third. I know I’ve been there.”   
  
“In reality or in your dream?” Gladstone asks gently. Shaye huffs out a pained laugh.   
  
“The dream. Maybe. I don’t know.”   
  
“I’m going to make a suggestion and that’s all this is. Forget everything prior to waking up in the hospital and after you and Mr. March started dating. Just remember what he did to you, but everything else - forget about it. It serves no purpose and dwelling on it will only hinder you. Do you understand what I’m saying?”   
  
“Yeah,” Shaye says looking over at Gladstone. “I understand.”   
  
Chapter   
  
It’s been three months since Shaye woke up in the hospital and forced into the realization that she had dreamt up a world where she was madly in love with Captain America and Bucky Barnes. She’s down to doing physical therapy just twice a week now as opposed to every day now. It’s been a grueling, uphill battle to get her body back to a functioning level, but she’s damn near there.   
  
Dr. Gladstone has monitored her progress, keeping in touch with her even after she was discharged to the local women’s shelter. She’d helped Shaye find a job, even going so far as to write a personal letter of recommendation for Shaye so she could land a job.   
  
She’s on the verge of getting her own place now. Everything she owned was “lost” when Clay went to jail. By lost she’s assuming that someone he knows came and cleaned her shit out and disposed of it. Gladstone said not to dwell on it, so she pushes that thought away.   
  
She’s working, she’ll be getting a small apartment and with any luck she’ll be able to get a bed with her first check so she won’t have to sleep on the floor. Progress takes time. Gladstone likes to remind Shaye that Rome wasn’t built in a day. She likes to remind Gladstone that she has a bed to go home to that is her very own whereas Shaye does not.   
  
Clay is still in jail. Detective Hammond - whom Shaye still doesn’t trust - took her statement of what she could remember, which wasn’t much. He goes to trial in a few weeks. Hammond told Shaye there was enough evidence in the home with the gun and her wounds to prosecute him without having her go to trial to testify against him. Hammond had suggested that Shaye consider doing that - until Clay’s lawyer convinced him to plead guilty to a lesser charge of attempted manslaughter instead of premeditated murder. Gladstone was livid that they’d even offer Clay something like that since he clearly had every intention of killing Shaye. Shaye had shook her head and told Gladstone that she’d just rather move on and close this Chapter of her life.   
  
Five months later, Shaye is now in her own apartment, a tiny one bedroom at the north end of town. Her job isn’t the greatest, but it pays the bills. The people she works with are two-faced and cruel, she’s heard them whispering about her. She ignores them.   
  
Seven months later and she’s finally through with doing physical therapy. Her muscles are back to being fully functional. She’s started going to the gym to try and keep them toned. Her job is now officially on a toxic hazard list as Dr. Gladstone called it. She found out that one of the women there knows Clay and his mother, and when they realized who she was, the rest of the staff made Shaye’s work life there a veritable hell. She’s applied everywhere in the area, outside of the area and now she’s applying outside of the state. No point in hanging around here anymore.   
  
Gladstone calls her one night to chat.   
  
“You’ve come a long way from almost eight months ago, Shaye. You should congratulate yourself.”   
  
Shaye laughs a little.   
  
“I don’t know about all that -”   
  
“I do. You finished PT, you have a job that sucks because you work with a bunch of deranged hens, you’ve got your own place and you’re working on finding a job outside of the area and outside of your comfort zone. What’s not to be proud of?”   
  
“Thank you,” Shaye says quietly.   
  
“I didn’t do anything. That’s all you. Don’t thank me, just go buy yourself something splurge worthy.”   
  
“Like that Louis Vuitton bag you had to have from Italy?” Shaye jokes.   
  
“I will have you know that was an investment,” Gladstone says indignantly.   
  
“Right,” Shaye laughs.   
  
“Why don’t you take a trip somewhere? Go someplace you want to go. You have some time accrued at that job, don’t you?”   
  
“About a week I think.”   
  
“See? Take some time off and go someplace. Get a hotel, take a mini vacation. You earned it. You went through hell, it’s time to give yourself a reward for coming out in one piece.”   
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter   
  
Shaye has spent the last two weeks considering what Dr. Sara Gladstone told her to do - go on vacation, take a break. She’s thinking it may be worth her while. She needs to get away from the goddamn hen house before she flips shit and throat punches one of them.   
  
Shaye scrolls through the vacation packages she’d pulled up on the Expedia site on her phone. Nothing seems appealing. Jersey Shore, Atlantic City, Philadelphia, Chesapeake Bay, Washington D.C., Poconos, New York City….   
  
She pauses on that one. Four days and three nights in Manhattan at the Park Central, minutes from Central Park, downtown NYC, and other attractions. Add a city pass for an additional $70 that includes -   
  
She clicks off of it. Gladstone said that was just setting herself up for disappointment if she went there looking for them. Would she go looking for them though? Even if she foolishly retraced the steps in her dream the odds of crossing paths with either one of them in that huge city is almost zero. She’d hit the lottery three times in a row before she’d see either of them. And supposing she did see them? They won’t know her. She’d be just another fan clamoring for their attention. They’re both linked to someone in their personal lives, they wouldn’t give two shits about her. Right? Right. So why not go to New York and enjoy the sights and get the fuck out of town for a while. Maybe she’ll see a celebrity like Christian Bale or Keanu Reeves or somebody. They get spotted shopping in New York occasionally. Kind of like leprechauns during Saint Patty’s day.   
  
This makes her laugh. She’s likened spotting a famous celeb to spotting a mythical Irish creature. She goes back to the Park Central listing. Sure, why the hell not?   
  
She spends the next several days trying to get the time off to make the trip. There’s pushback on all sides. This person needs this day off the same time you want off and we can’t have that. Denied. Denied. Denied. Shaye had finally hit her bullshit threshold and asked the office manager when all these requests were put in. The office manager in her stupidity told Shaye they were all requested today, the same day Shaye is making her request. The odds of that happening for ALL of the weeks Shaye has asked for are slim to none.   
  
“Wait, wait, wait. How many different dates did you try?” Gladstone asks Shaye later that night.   
  
“Oh I don’t know. Four? I just kept looking at the calendar on my phone and throwing out days and being told no because this one or that one requested off already. On the same goddamn day.”   
  
“Bullshit. Who’s in charge over there?”   
  
“Over the office manager? I guess HR.”   
  
“You need a new job. This is stupid.”   
  
“I’m not disagreeing with you, Sara. I’m just telling you I don’t seem to have much choice -”   
  
“Go to HR. They have to let you take the time off if it’s your earned time they gave you.”   
  
“You know the office folks will retaliate. I may lose my job.”   
  
“No you won’t. They can’t fire you for taking time off.”   
  
“Hmmm….” Shaye hums.   
  
“Don’t let these petty bitches deny you something you want. For Christ’s sake, go to HR tomorrow and ask for the time off. Show them you were trying to give them options for days and kept being denied.”   
  
“I need out of this fucking area,” Shaye mutters.   
  
“You do. It’s too close to home with what happened. This will be the last bridge to your past to burn once you move away. For now, don’t take anyone’s shit.”   
  
Shaye went to HR the next morning. She had her game plan in mind, had her calendar on her phone pulled up and was ready to argue for her time off. She was amazed when there was no argument to be had. She explained the situation to the HR rep, told him what had transpired with her request off for time and asked if anything could be done. The HR rep was not amused in the least by this going so far as to say this is not the first time this office has had issues with people and then asking Shaye what days she wanted off. She told him what her preferred days would be and gave him two alternate time frames. He had nodded and asked her to step outside of his office for a few moments. When he called her back in he advised her that her second choice would be approved with no further issues. Shaye knew that wouldn’t be entirely true, but she was grateful he’d gotten her the time off. She booked the trip with the itinerary on her way back to the office so that she didn’t chicken out later should something come up.   
  
Sure enough, the whispers, finger pointing, glaring, high pitched cackling went on all day long. If she asked for something she was ignored. If they wanted something it was demanded and tossed on her desk. She went to lunch with renewed purpose in her job hunt. She applied to jobs in New Jersey, New York, Philadelphia, Georgia, Florida...up and down the east coast for anything that even remotely looked like she’d qualify.   
  
The next few weeks were repeats of the same thing. As the time crept closer to her going away, the vocalizations became louder about how unfair it was she got the time approved and they did not or how nice it must be to suck HR’s dick and get away with murder, etc.   
  
The night before her trip she left working hoping the place spontaneously combusted with the bitch squad in it while she’s gone.   
  
“Don’t worry about them,” Gladstone had said that night. “Get on that plane tomorrow and have fun. Fuck everything else.”   
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter   
  
Shaye lands at Laguardia at just after 8am. She hails a cab and goes to her hotel to check in. They promptly tell her it’s too early and they’ll have to charge her an additional day if she checks in now. She puckers her lips, looks at her luggage and decides she’d rather pay for the room than lug a suitcase around Manhattan for half the goddamn day. The desk clerk is overly smug about it. Shaye lets it go, it’s New York, the nice people all moved away a long time ago. Like right after they settled the fucking state.   
  
She gets her key, goes to her room and looks around. She wonders where the imagery for the other hotel came from because this room is in no way, shape or form similar to that one in her dream. She realizes she’s dwelling on shit she should not be and pulls her itinerary out. There are over eighty offerings on this thing she paid for. She won’t get to them all. One of them is the Captain America Museum. That would be downright fucking stupid of her to do that.   
  
She calls Gladstone and tells her she’s at the hotel, grabs her bag and the itinerary and heads out, having chosen the Empire State building as her first stop.   
  
Shaye has finished her tour of the Empire State Building and popped into a few shops. She’s looking at her phone and the list of things to do on the itinerary trying to decide what to do next. She glances up and sees she’s on the corner where Bucky had stopped her from stepping in front of the cab. Her heart skips a beat. She looks around, knowing damn well how stupid this is. Of course he isn’t there. The light changes and everyone crosses. Nothing to see here, let’s move on.   
  
She ends her first day at the Metropolitan Museum and heads back to the hotel. She sits on the edge of the bed and tries to figure out why she feels disappointed. Truthfully she knows why. She had hoped, secretly in her heart, she would see them. Realistically, even if she had, they would not know her. She reminds herself of this. Again.   
  
She starts the second day much the same way she started the first, choosing her places to go and then finding the path to get there. Right around lunchtime Shaye is at an intersection looking at her phone and waiting for the light to change. She’s hungry and looking for someplace to eat. She happens to look up just as a girl in a puffy coat goes to step off the curb and into traffic, too busy looking at her phone to notice. Shaye instinctively reaches out and yanks her back just as a large SUV zooms past them. The girl looks at Shaye and Shaye is more than a little surprised she isn’t staring at a mirror image of herself. This girl has purple hair, a nose ring, lip ring and a tattoo over her left eye.   
  
“Jeezus, let me go. Creeper much?” the girl snaps. Shaye lets her go and shakes her head. The girl goes back up the street in the opposite direction without looking back.   
  
“Good catch. She could have at least thanked you for saving her from becoming a hood ornament.”   
  
Shaye hears a voice that gives her chills. It can’t be. It’s her mind playing tricks on her. There’s no way.   
  
She lets her eyes search in the direction of the voice. His blue eyes are the first thing she sees. It’s Steve. Not Bucky, but Steve.   
  
“Thanks,” she forces herself to say. He smiles. She doesn’t know what to do. This is just royally fucked up. He nods. Shaye makes a hasty, desperate decision.   
  
“Know of any place around here to get something good to eat?” she asks, trying to keep her voice steady.   
  
“Couple of places, actually. What are hungry for?”   
  
“Something simple.”   
  
“There’s a place right down the street here. They have really good burgers.”   
  
If he says it’s called Nona’s….   
  
“What’s it called?” she asks.   
  
“Marv’s. Great place. I’m sure you’ll like it,” he says.   
  
“Would you like to join me?” She couldn’t help herself. The words came out before she had time to stop them.   
  
“I’m meeting some friends, but thank you. I appreciate the offer.”   
  
Shaye knew that would be the case, although the plural usage of friend threw her for a loop. She gives him a smile, the light changes and she crosses in the direction he pointed without so much as a look back.   
  
She comes up to Marv’s and looks in. They’re packed. There’s a place across the street that has a line out the door. She looks at her phone and pulls up local restaurants. There’s a few, but nothing that sounds appealing. A burger sounds fucking great. She steps inside and waits to be seated, ignoring the ridiculous hope that he’ll come back with Bucky.   
  
She gets seated by a very pleasant woman who smells of smoke and cinnamon. It’s an interesting combo to say the least. Shaye orders a drink and picks a burger from the menu offerings. No one comes in and asks to join her. There are no smiles and off handed remarks about Bucky being a shit because he wants to go to the Captain America Museum. There is no overzealous owner frantically introducing himself to her. It’s just Shaye and a burger that is in fact quite delicious.   
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter   
  
Shaye sits on the bed of her hotel room debating on calling Gladstone to tell her what happened. She decides against it. It was a fluke, a chance meeting and nothing more. Had there been more to it, Steve, Bucky or both would have come into Marv’s and had lunch with her. As it was, Steve mentioned he was meeting friends. Plural. Not just one. That means he was going to get that woman Sharon probably and maybe meet Bucky and his model girlfriend, too.   
  
She looks at her phone. There’s no point in calling Gladstone. There’s nothing to tell her. She crossed paths with Captain America. That was all that happened.   
  
She turns on the TV and flips the channels lazily looking for something to watch till she falls asleep. News, news, news, entertainment news, MTV, VH1, news, news, and finally HBO.   
  
“Jesus Christ,” she growls, “finally.”   
  
It’s almost midnight till she falls asleep.   
  
She wakes up to the sound of what can only be described as rusted out robots fighting in the hallway.   
  
“What the fucking hell?” she yells and falls out of the bed. She lands on her knees and yelps in pain. She gets up and throws open the door. It’s the cleaning lady and she’s running a vacuum cleaner that looks like it’s from the stone age. She waves happily and goes back to vacuuming. Shaye slams the door. She gets in the shower and spends twenty minutes just soaking up the hot water. Wasteful, yes, but so relaxing.   
  
She gets dressed, grabs her stuff and heads out. Today’s visits will include Madame Tussauds, Radio City Music Hall (if she can get in), FAO, Intrepid Sea, Air and Space Museum and then whatever else she can fit in today.     
  
It’s just after lunch time and Shaye is searching for a place to get a bite to eat before moving on. The Air and Space Museum took longer than she thought it would, but it was nice. She still wants to go to Madame Tussauds. She looks at her phone and then at the street signs. She’s pretty close to Marv’s again. The burger was amazing, but she’d seen they had a blackened salmon tostada yesterday on special that sounded good. She heads there and is surprised that the wait isn’t as bad today. She gets in line and waits to be seated. She’s standing off to the side looking at her phone trying to see what is near Madame Tussauds when she’s done there. More people file inside to give their name to the hostess and wait to be seated.   
  
Shaye moves out of the way of a bunch of people trying to get inside and goes back to looking at her phone.   
  
“Looks like I can have lunch with you today. If that offer still stands.”   
  
Shaye recognizes the voice immediately. She raises her head and sees Steve standing slightly off to her side. He’s wearing a Yankees cap pulled down low over his eyes. He looks like hell.   
  
“Sure,” she says and smiles. She’s surprised to see him. Shocked, actually. Just another coincidence she tells herself.   
  
“Thanks,” he says quietly. The waitress calls her number and they follow her to a booth to be seated. They sit across from each other and the waitress hands them menus and tells them she’ll be back in a few minutes.   
  
Shaye opens the menu and steals a glance over at Steve. He’s focused on the menu it seems. Shaye stays quiet. Talking to him will only fluster him and make her sound like a goddamn nutjob. What would she say? She knows him, they dated, they’ve fucked, but that was all in a very lucid dream she had because her ex boyfriend shot her in the back and put her in a coma for a month and her brain just latched onto whatever it could in the outside world to keep from going insane? Not a wise move. She looks for the specials instead.   
  
“Did you come here yesterday?”   
  
His voice is so quiet and low she barely heard him.   
  
“I did. I had their house burger.”   
  
“How was it?” he asks looking up from the menu.   
  
“It was great. I’m glad I took your suggestion,” she says. He smiles faintly.   
  
“I’m glad you liked it.”   
  
He goes back to looking over the menu. The waitress comes back to get their drink order.   
  
“Scotch on the rocks,” Steve says without looking up.   
  
“Amaretto sour,” Shaye says and then realizes she’d ordered the same drink before. “On second thought, just a Coke,” she says hastily changing her mind. This makes Steve raise his head and give her a perplexed look.   
  
“You sure?” the waitress asks Shaye.   
  
“Yeah. Coke is fine.”   
  
The waitress nods and jots this down.   
  
“Do you need more time? Looking at appetizers?” she asks.   
  
“Want to split an appetizer with me?” Steve asks. He’s trying to be cordial it seems, always the nice guy.   
  
“What were you thinking?”   
  
“Sampler?” he asks sounding uncertain of himself.   
  
“Sampler, okay,” she agrees even though she has no goddamn idea what’s on it.   
  
“Okay. I’ll be back with your drinks in a few,” the waitress says and walks off. Shaye flips to the appetizers to see what they’ve just ordered.   
  
“You didn’t have to change your drink.”   
  
She doesn’t have a response to this. He’s looking at her, watching her.   
  
“Seemed like a bad idea to get liquored up and then go to Madame Tussauds afterward,” she says. He smiles now, actually genuinely smiles.   
  
“I can see how that would be a little disorienting,” he says, the tone of his voice a little lighter now. She gives him a pleased smile.   
  
“Here we go,” the waitress says bringing their drinks. “Your appetizer should be ready soon. Are you ready to order?”   
  
“Do you know what you want?” Steve asks her, “or do you want a little more time?”   
  
“Do you have the blackened salmon tostada still?” Shaye asks. Steve’s eyes widen a bit.   
  
“Sorry, no. That was yesterday’s special. Today it’s lamb slovaki.”   
  
Shaye is disappointed. She’d been looking forward to trying that.   
  
“Give us another few minutes,” Steve says to the waitress. She nods and walks off again.   
  
“Nothing sparks your interest?” he asks gently.   
  
“Hmmm…what are you getting?” she asks him as she flips through the menu again.   
  
“A burger. The house burger maybe,” he flips through his menu again. Maybe he isn’t totally decided yet.   
  
She looks at the burgers. They have a breakfast burger with a fried egg on the top.   
  
“What about...they have a cajun catfish entree,” Steve suggests. She looks up. He’s still looking at the menu, and he’s trying to find something for her to eat based on what she’d asked the waitress about. His brow wrinkles and he looks up.   
  
“I was thinking about the breakfast burger,” she says tapping on the picture on her menu. He cocks his head trying to see the picture then goes to his own menu to look. He smiles.   
  
“Sounds good.”   
  
“Here we go,” the waitress says placing a football size plate with the appetizer on the table in front of Shaye and Steve.   
  
“Thanks,” Shaye says.   
  
“Thank you,” Steve also says.   
  
“Sure. You two ready?”   
  
“We’re going to both have the breakfast burger,” Steve answers. “Right?” he asks her just to confirm. Shaye gives him a bright smile and nods in agreements.   
  
“How do you want those?”   
  
“Medium rare, please. No onion,” Shaye says.   
  
“Medium, everything,” Steve says.   
  
“Sure thing,” she says and trots off. Steve smiles at Shaye.   
  
“No onion, huh?” he asks and takes a sip of his drink. There’s a hint of playfulness in his voice.   
  
“Raw onion is brutal. You can smell it a mile away. Much like your Scotch.”   
  
He laughs.   
  
“Not a fan of Scotch?” he asks and takes a long sip watching her as he does. She shakes her head and smiles.   
  
“Madame Tussauds, huh? Sightseeing?” he asks.   
  
“First time in New York.”   
  
“By yourself?” He sounds concerned.   
  
“Yes.”   
  
She sees his brow furrow for a moment, but he says nothing else. The waitress arrives with their burgers, drops them off and when she’s satisfied they don’t need anything else she walks off.   
  
“I’ve never been to Madame Tussauds, either,” he says picking the onion off the burger. Shaye smirks and cuts hers in half. The egg is perfectly cooked, the yolk running over the burger and bun as she cuts through it.   
  
“You should go. I hear it’s something of a sight to behold. Not drunk, though,” she jokes.   
  
“Damn that looks good,” he says marveling at her burger. She can’t help but giggle.   
  
“You got the same thing. For the most part,” she reminds him. He grins. She doesn’t press the issue about him and Madame Tussauds for fear it may have just been a passing remark. He bites into his burger and the egg runs down his chin. She hands him a napkin so he doesn’t get it on his shirt.   
  
“Thanks.”   
  
He makes small talk as they eat, asking her where she’s from, what she does, what she’s seen so far. She answers his questions willingly, but remains on guard with herself. This is not what it seems. He’s being Steve Rogers maybe. Maybe he’s being Captain America. She doesn’t know Steve Rogers. She never did. She fantasized what he’d be like and what Bucky would be like. The odds of them being similar in any regard is ridiculous.   
  
They finish up and sit quietly for a few moments. The waitress comes back.   
  
“Dessert?” she asks.   
  
“No, thanks,” Shaye says declining the offer. Steve shakes his head no.   
  
“Here’s your check, no rush. Just pay up front,” the waitress says putting the check upside down on the table. Shaye flips it over before Steve can get to it. Fucking shit, they don’t total anything. She rounds up to what she thinks she owes plus the tip and gets her wallet.   
  
“I’ve got this.”   
  
“It’s okay, I can pay for my own. Thank you, though,” she says without looking up. She feels his eyes on her and she looks up. He’s not having it.   
  
“You let me join you, the least I can do is pay.”   
  
“I appreciate the offer, it’s very nice of you, but you’re not obligated to pay for me just because you joined me for lunch,” she says sticking to her guns.   
  
“What if I want to pay just because?”   
  
Shaye studies him for a moment. Where is this Sharon girl of his?   
  
“A good looking guy like you should buy his girl flowers instead of buying strange women lunch,” Shaye says. She’s hoping she doesn’t offend him too much, but honestly, this will be the last time she ever sees him so it’s not like it matters.   
  
“Well...thank you for letting me join you,” he says getting up. “It was nice meeting you, Shaye.”   
  
“It was nice meeting you, Steve.”   
  
He gets up and walks up front to the cashier. Shaye decides to head to the restroom before she pays her tab and heads to Madame Tussauds feeling like shit.   
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter   
  
Shaye finishes up in the restroom, takes a deep breath and goes to pay her part of the check. The check itself is gone and the table is cleared off. She heads to the cashier.   
  
“I need to pay my part of the check. That last booth on the right,” she says pointing to the booth.   
  
“It’s taken care of. Your boyfriend paid the bill.”   
  
Shaye feels the goosebumps erupt on her skin.   
  
“I don’t think that’s right. Are you sure?” Shaye asks. The girl pulls the ticket and looks.   
  
“Paid, with a nice tip for DIane.”   
  
“He’s not my boyfriend,” Shaye tells her as she walks out. Fucking sneak. He paid the bill on his way out. She should have waited to go use the fucking bathroom - why is this making her mad?   
  
“Ugh,” she groans. She digs out her phone and looks for the path to Madame Tussauds. It’s done and over with. They had lunch. He’s gone. She’d upset his delicate sensibilities by telling him to buy his girl flowers instead of buying her lunch. He should be buying her flowers or what the fuck ever someone like Sharon likes. Whips and chains maybe. Who the hell knows. The point is this is fucked up, she needs to let this go and just go get creeped out by wax figures. At least they weren’t part of her delusion.   
  
It’s about five blocks to get from Marv’s to Madame Tussauds. It’s a bit of a walk and it’s getting colder out. The sky is gray and overcast. If it starts raining she’s going to scream.   
  
She gets to Madame Tussauds. It’s a popular tourist spot based on the throngs of people meandering in and out of the building. She gets her phone out and looks for the app she has that lets her get into these places.   
  
“Want some company?”   
  
“You’re a shit,” she says without looking up.   
  
“You’re mad I paid the bill.” It’s phrased as both a statement and a question.   
  
She doesn’t answer.   
  
“Look, don’t be mad about that. I wanted to buy you lunch. I should have gone with you yesterday.”   
  
Shaye doesn’t know what to do now. Does she call him out again and tell him to go spend time with Sharon? Does she just let him do whatever this is he’s doing and then…   
  
“You had plans yesterday,” she reminds him. He nods and looks down at the ground. He stuffs his hands deep into the pockets of his leather jacket. He looks like a little kid that’s been scolded.   
  
“Don’t be mad about lunch,” he says again.   
  
“I’m not,” she says giving in. “I just don’t understand why you felt like you had to do that.”   
  
“I wanted to.”   
  
“Is that why you’re here?” she asks. The wind whips around them and Shaye sees snow flurries. Well isn’t this some shit.   
  
“I’ve never been in here, but I’ve heard about it. You mentioned it and it just kind of stuck. I figured I’d check it out and maybe you and I could go through together.”   
  
“You’re not paying for me.”   
  
“No?” he asks looking up at her finally.   
  
“I already paid for my ticket,” she says and smiles. He skews an eyebrow at her.   
  
“The joys of the internet age,” he says and then grins. “Does this mean you want me to join you?”   
  
“Sure you won’t get into any trouble for hanging out in Madame Tussauds with some strange chick you just met?” she teases. His grin comes back full force.   
  
“I think I’ll be alright. We should get in line.”   
  
They get in line, Steve standing behind her and then moving so he shields her from the wind until they get inside. She shows the guy at the counter the app, he scans the QR code and lets her through. She waits for Steve to get his ticket before going any further. They walk through slowly with the rest of the group, Shaye keeping her hands in her pockets so she won’t be tempted to try and hold Steve’s hand. The wax figures are surreal and creepy as fuck. This shit will give her nightmares for weeks to come.   
  
“And here is our most recent commissioned piece. Captain America from his heyday during World War Two,” the announcement blares. Just like the cutout in the museum.   
  
“That’s not creepy or anything,” Steve whispers in her ear. She laughs and gets some odd looks. She hears him chuckle.   
  
“This whole place is creepy, and that’s the one that gets you?” she asks as they move on. He shrugs.   
  
“It’s weird seeing…” he stops talking and studies her. He doesn’t think she knows who he is.   
  
“Seeing what?” she asks and then kicks herself for doing so.   
  
“Nothing. It is all creepy.”   
  
She says nothing else, choosing to just let it go. She feels like she’s on some kind of amusement park ride where she has no control over what happens and just has to wait it out till the ride is over.   
  
“Here’s a commissioned piece of our native son Tony Stark…”   
  
“Christ that’s just as creepy,” Steve whispers to her. He’s right up against her, the group their with clumped together in a little ball. The feel of his breath against her ear sends her temperature skyrocketing. Tomorrow she’s going to the sex museum and she’s going to the gift shop and she’s going to splurge on anything that looks remotely interesting. That and a cold shower when she gets back to her hotel room.   
  
The group starts to dissipate as they move on and Steve backs off, putting space between them again. She finds this relieving and infuriating. She’s relieved because that means the only reason he was that close in the first place was because he had nowhere else to go. Infuriating because he moved away from her and she’s losing her fucking mind over here. Sharon. She has to keep reminding herself he’s seeing Sharon and Bucky is screwing that model and this is just...is she dead? Is that what this is? She’s dead and this is Hell? That’s about the only logical explanation for this bullshit right now.   
  
They come to the end and have to pass through the giftshop to get out. Of course, how very strategic. She decides she wants to look around.   
  
“I’m going to browse a bit. You don’t have to stick around if you’re done. Thanks for coming with me.”   
  
She’s certain this will be the end of it. His blue eyes flash under the brim of his hat.   
  
“I don’t mind waiting.”   
  
Okay, so that didn’t play at as expected.   
  
“Steve, it’s okay -”   
  
“No, really. I don’t mind. Let’s look around,” he says and smiles. She doesn’t know what else to do so she walks down the aisle with him and looks at all the kitsch they have for sale. They head to the next aisle and Shaye stops to look at some weird mini wax figures. They’re creepy and remind her of voodoo dolls. She looks around and Steve is gone. Her heart sinks and she kicks herself for feeling anything at all about this situation. He probably got bored and left. Or maybe he got called and had to bail. Or maybe Sharon called…   
  
She loses interest in the store and heads to the exit. She steps outside and slides on the sidewalk. There’s a half inch of snow on the ground and it’s still coming down. Sure, why the fuck not? So much for doing anything else today. She’s looking for a cab when she hears her name.   
  
“Shaye.”   
  
He’s still here.   
  
She sees him coming out of the store carrying a bag. He was still inside and apparently found something he wanted to buy.   
  
“Why’d you leave?” he asks sounding a little hurt.   
  
“I thought you got bored and left so I just walked out,” she says trying to sound as non committal about it as possible.   
  
“No, I got something for you. And for me, too,” he says opening the bag. “I didn’t know your size so I guessed,” he says handing her a tee shirt that says I survived Madame Tussauds on the front in ghastly letters. He bought her a souvenir.   
  
“Thank you,” she says because that’s all she can think of to say. Telling him he shouldn’t have doesn’t seem right. He made a conscious effort to get her something and she doesn’t want to appear ungrateful.   
  
“Do you think it will fit? Do you like it?” he asks, the innocence saturating the question.   
  
“It should and yes. Thank you again. What did you get?”   
  
“The same one, just a bigger size,” he says being a little goofy. The snow is really coming down now. Shaye looks at the afternoon sky. In her dream it rained, in the real world it snows.   
  
“We should get out of this weather,” she suggests. She freezes when she realizes she said we insinuating they should do this together. She isn’t sure if she wants him to just go about his business and have this stop or if she wants this to continue and see what the hell happens.   
  
He’s thinking this over. Shaye looks for a cab.   
  
“Want to go get some coffee?”   
  
She blinks. This has to stop...this...this can’t keep going on.   
  
“I think it’s only going to get worse out here, Steve. Staying out in this shit seems like a bad idea, don’t you think?” she asks. It’s a sort of test question to see what he’ll do now that he’s been given a choice.   
  
“Yeah, more than likely. Where are you staying?”   
  
“Park Central,” she says before she can stop herself. Her mind needs to reign in her mouth.   
  
“Nice hotel. Let me at least see you back to the hotel if you don’t want to do coffee.”   
  
“Steve…” she stops when she sees the look in his eyes. “There’s a little restaurant in the hotel. If you still want coffee we can have some in there,” she offers. His eyes light up. She tells herself this will be it. Just the coffee. That’s it. Then he’ll leave. He’s doing his chivalrous duty in seeing her safely to her hotel room. That will be the end of it.     
  
  
  
Chapter   
  
Steve hails them a cab and they climb inside out of the snow.   
  
“Where to?” the cabby asks.   
  
“Park Central,” Steve says. Shaye is still looking at the shirt he bought her. She’s not sure what to think about what’s happening here.   
  
Steve opens the bag and smiles.   
  
“For safekeeping till we get to the hotel.”   
  
“Thanks,” she says softly. She looks out the window at the falling snow as they pass intersections of snow covered cars and people bundled up against the wind.   
  
“That was pretty surreal in there,” he says after they’ve been quiet for a few moments.   
  
“That it is,” she replies absently. She’s thinking of how surreal everything is today.   
  
“Is?” he repeats questioningly.   
  
“Was. Sorry, some of those things are seared into my memory now,” she says trying to explain her screw up.   
  
He smiles and slides a little closer to her, closing the gap between them.   
  
“Are you sure about the coffee, Steve? It’s really coming down,” she says looking out the window of the cab. She’s worried about him going out in this shit, when she should be worried about what the hell is going on here.   
  
He looks past her and out the window. He doesn’t seem bothered. He feels her looking at him and focuses on her, his blue eyes sparkle under those long blond lashes. He gives her a warm smile. She smiles back, unable to help herself.   
  
The cab pulls up in front of the hotel. Shaye has her wallet in her hand waiting for the fair to be announced. The cabby tells the the price and Steve leans against her to get his wallet. She can smell his cologne, he smells fucking amazing.   
  
She snaps out of her momentary stupor and hands the cabby cash.   
  
“Put that back,” Steve tells her.   
  
“Nope.”   
  
“Don’t take her money,” he says speaking to the cab driver now.   
  
“You’re paid. If you don’t give me the money back you get the rest as your tip,” she says. The cabby makes fish lips and puts the money in the box on the seat next to him.  She hears Steve growl as he opens the door to the cab for them to get out. He steps out and then leans over and extends his hand to her to help her out of the cab. Chivalry isn’t dead, it’s alive and well in Steve Rogers.   
  
They head inside and out of the heavy falling snow. He walks much closer to her now than he did at Madame Tussauds. She leads him to the little cafe style restaurant the hotel has. They sit down at a small table towards the back.   
  
“Did you have a good time at the museum?” he asks as he looks around. She knows he’s surveying his surroundings, keeping a watchful eye out.   
  
“I did. It’s the stuff of nightmares,” she says. He stops looking around and gives her a sweet smile.   
  
“What can I get you?” the waiter asks.   
  
“Coffee, please. Black.”   
  
“Caramel macchiato, please,” Shaye says.   
  
“And...what desserts do you have?” Steve asks before the waiter can run off. Shaye looks at him in amused surprise. He wants dessert, he can have dessert.   
  
“Cannolis, zeppoli, lemon meringue pie, apple pie, red velvet cookies with buttercream icing, lava cakes filled with chocolate ganache -”   
  
Shaye’s interest is immediate when she hears the lava cakes. She sees Steve grin.   
  
“I’d like two of those, please,” Steve tells the waiter.   
  
“They come in pairs so you want four?” the waiter asks. Steve looks at Shaye for some indication of what she’d like. She shakes her head no.   
  
“Just the the one pair, please,” he says.   
  
“Would you or your lady like ice cream on the side?”   
  
“Vanilla?” he asks her. He’s all about this right now, his smile makes that evident. She won’t begrudge him. Besides, it sounds fantastic.   
  
“Vanilla,” she agrees.   
  
“I’ll be right out with your order,” the waiter promises.   
  
“Lava cakes,” he muses.   
  
“Molten chocolate in the middle of a moist chocolate cake? Absolutely,” she says. He laughs lightly.   
  
“You like chocolate. The caramel thing you ordered, what the hell is that?”   
  
“Sweet espresso drink. I take it you’ve never had one?” she asks. She’s fairly certain that he hasn’t based on his question.   
  
“No,” he says with a shake of his head. “Have you ever been to the Godiva store here?”   
  
“I have not,” she says watching the waiter come over with their drinks and the lava cakes.   
  
“Is there anything else you need?” the waiter asks after setting everything down.   
  
“No, thank you,” Steve says. She knows he’s watching her because she’s eyeing the lava cakes.   
  
“You first,” he says handing her a spoon. She smiles grandly and digs in. The first bite is heaven as the cake and melted chocolate hit her tongue. She closes her eyes. This is bliss.   
  
“That good?” he teases. She opens her eyes and licks her lips. He skews an eyebrow.   
  
“Try it, see what you think.”   
  
He gets his spoon and sinks it into the cake while she takes a sip of her drink.   
  
“It’s very rich,” he says and then scoops up some of the ice cream to chase after the chocolate.   
  
“It is, but it’s soooo good,” she says and goes after another bite. He looks overly pleased with her delight in the lava cakes.   
  
“How’s your drink?” he asks. She hands him the mug. He takes it and sips carefully. He ends up with a little of the whipped cream on his lips. Shaye is more than a little amused by this. She licks her lips trying to get him to do the same. His eyes widen and he blinks at her. She ends up laughing and handing him a napkin.   
  
“Wipe your mouth, Steve.”   
  
“Heh,” he grunts as he wipes his lips. She shakes her head and goes for another bite of the lava cakes.   
  
“It’s good, a little on the strong side,” he says taking another sip of her drink.   
  
“Do you like it?” she asks him.   
  
“Yeah. Not something I’d order all the time, just on occasions,” he says and hands her back the mug. “Where do you think you’ll go tomorrow?”   
  
She was about to take a sip of her drink when he asks this. She smiles casually. The thought crosses her mind to tell him she’s going to the Museum of Sex tomorrow, but she decides against it. No reason to tempt fate.   
  
“I haven’t given it any thought yet. There’s a few places. Please eat some of this,” she pleads with him. He grins and takes another spoonful.   
  
“Do you think you’ll get to see Liberty Island?” he asks. He takes a sip of coffee and makes a face.   
  
“Bitter?” she says playfully.   
  
“After having some of your drink and the cake, yes. Very,” he says, his face still scrunched up. She hands him her drink.   
  
“Thank you,” he says sounding very grateful. He takes her mug and takes another sip. This time he makes a show of licking the little bit of whipped cream on his lips off.   
  
“You’re a piece of work,” she tells him and then giggles when he winks at her.   
  
“I have my moments,” he says. “So, Liberty Island maybe?”   
  
“I don’t know. Ellis Island I’d like to do...a few other places.”   
  
“Coney Island?” he asks.   
  
“I thought they closed? No money and it shut down.”   
  
Now he’s really smiling.   
  
“It’s very much alive and well during the summer months. It’s been around forever.”   
  
“Wow. Damn, I’ll have to come back for that before it does disappear like everything else eventually does,” she says thoughtfully.   
  
“How long are you here for?” he asks. Shaye swirls the chocolate around in the plate.   
  
“Tomorrow is my last day. Figures it would snow today,” she says. She’s more than a little irritated by this.   
  
“Maybe it’ll stop snowing. We can go see some of these other sights.”   
  
There’s that word we again. She hesitates to reply.   
  
“Let me rephrase that. I’d like to go with you to see these other sights. If you’re agreeable.”   
  
“It’s not supposed to stop snowing until late tonight,” the waiter interjects. “How was everything?”   
  
“So much for that idea,” Shaye says trying not to be disappointed.   
  
“It was great. Thank you.”   
  
“Will this be together or separate?”   
  
“Separate,” Shaye says quickly. He nods and walks off. Steve is giving her a less than pleased look.   
  
“You don’t like having people pay for things. Or is it just me you don’t want to have pay for things?” he asks. He doesn’t mask the fact that he’s put off by her insistence on paying. Is this where things wrap up now? She pisses him off and he gets offended and that’s that? That would be for the best. This whole day…   
  
He cocks his head to the side, still waiting on an answer.   
  
“I have my reasons,” she says at long last. He studies her for a moment. Shaye is convinced this is going to end up like Marv’s where he said thanks and walked out, but this time he won’t look back and he won’t show up some random place.   
  
“Will you let me walk you back to your room, at least? Since you won’t let me pay for our dessert or the drink you shared with me?” He woos her with that smile and those striking blue eyes.   
  
The waiter comes back and puts a check holder in front of each of them, thanks them and walks off.   
  
“You know you don’t have to,” she tells him as she puts her card in the holder. He gets his wallet out and does the same.   
  
“I know. I’d like to, though.”   
  
The waiter comes back and grabs the holders off of the table. Shaye takes another sip of her drink. She leaves tomorrow. It’s fine.   
  
“Sure,” she says and smiles. He grins. She hands him her mug.   
  
“Go on and finish it.”   
  
“Really?” He seems delighted. She nods her head and he finishes it off. The waiter comes back and deposits the holders on the table again. Steve opens his first and makes a face.   
  
“Shaye Delgado?” he says looking at her card. The dumbass switched the holders before he put them down.   
  
Shaye opens hers and she sees him panic, but he makes no attempt to stop her. She knows what the card says. There’s no need to look. She closes it without so much as a peek and hands it to him. He doesn’t mask his shock at this.   
  
“You didn’t want to look?” he asks. She shrugs.   
  
“It’s not my business,” she says evenly. She sees the color on his cheeks, he’s embarrassed.   
  
“It wasn’t mine, either. I’m sorry.”   
  
“It’s alright, don’t apologize. You were just being you, I guess.” She feels the need to ease his mind over this. She smiles warmly and he grins, then hands her the holder with her card. They sign for their orders and put their cards away.   
  
“You could have looked,” he says as he stands up. She gives him a disbelieving look and shakes her head.   
  
“Your name is Steve. That’s all I need to know,” she says getting up and gathering her coat and bag.   
  
“You make it sound like that’s all you want to know.” There’s the distinct notes of dejectedness in his voice.   
  
“I didn’t say that. If you decide you want me to know your full name you’ll tell me.”   
  
He nods and picks up the Madame Tussauds bag. They walk quietly to the elevators.   
  
“I had a good time today,” he tells her as the elevator doors close. “I wish it hadn’t been cut short by the weather.”   
  
“Yeah, that sucks,” she agrees. “I had a good time, too.”   
  
The elevator doors open to her floor and they walk down the hall. She gets her room key out and opens the door. They step inside. Shaye tosses her coat and bag on the closest bed.   
  
“Thanks again for having lunch with me or letting me have lunch with you,” Steve says with a big smile.   
  
“Sure.”   
  
He takes a step towards her and opens his hand to her. She’s stopped thinking clearly now, she takes his hand and lets him pull her into his arms. He drops the bag, puts his hands on the small of her back, tilts his head and presses his lips to hers. It’s soft and sweet. He studies her for a moment, she can feel the heat building inside her, he presses his lips to hers again, his tongue working its way into her mouth, the need in his kiss clear as crystal. His hands slide down to her ass, pulling that part of her body closer to his groin, lifting her up a little so he can rub himself against her. She can feel his erection through their clothes. He does it again and she breaks free, putting her hands on his chest and pushing away.   
  
“Steve...I can’t…”   
  
She steps back away from him, keeping her eyes down to avoid looking at his face. This isn’t like her dream. He’s way more forward and direct than she’d anticipated. This couldn’t be all he’s after.   
  
She chances to look up at him, he’s ashamed.   
  
“I’m sorry, Shaye...I...I thought...I’m sorry -”   
  
“You should go,” she says softly, looking away from him again. He lingers for only a moment, takes the bag and leaves the room. She sits down on the bed trying to figure out what the fuck just transpired here.   
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter   
  
Shaye sits in the middle of the bed trying to ignore the feeling of insanity that’s threatening to swallow her whole. She dreamt up this goddamn delusion where she and Steve and Bucky were one big happy trio and that all turned out to be nothing more than that - a delusion brought on from being in a coma after her ex tried to kill her.   
  
Now she’s in the real world and it’s just as fucked up as her dream. Maybe more so.   
  
She’d spent the last several hours with Steve Rogers, had a great time (no point in lying about it) and then it just…   
  
Did she give off some indication she was interested? Was she that unaware of her own body language? Was this just a reaction to him kissing her that he felt he should try for more? Was it just a misunderstanding on both their parts? She doesn’t know. She doesn’t want to think about it. The fact that she was able to stop this before it went too far is nothing short of a miracle.   
  
The room phone rings. She puckers her lips. She may as well answer it.   
  
“Hello?”   
  
“Shaye. It’s Steve. Don’t hang up. I want to apologize for what happened earlier. I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable. I didn’t go along with you today with the intent of...I am so sorry.”   
  
He sounds worried and upset. Again, this could have just been a misunderstanding between the two of them. Who’s to say she didn’t give him mixed signals?   
  
“It’s alright. Don’t worry about it,” she tells him. He could have just walked away from this and never thought about her again. She’d actually kind of expected that to be the case. Here he is calling her to apologize.   
  
“I’d like to make it up to you, Shaye. I’d like to buy you breakfast before you leave tomorrow.”   
  
“You don’t have to do that. Don’t worry about it,” Shaye says trying to get him to dismiss this idea that he needs to make this up to her.   
  
“Please. I want to. I’d really like to do this. Besides, I have your shirt, I want to give it to you before you leave.”   
  
“Alright,” she says agreeing to this against her better judgement. She hears him sigh in relief.   
  
“Tomorrow morning about eight?” he asks.   
  
“That’s fine.”   
  
“I’ll meet you in the lobby of the hotel. Will that be okay?”   
  
“That’s fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.”   
  
“Great. Thank you, Shaye,” he says and then hangs up. She looks at her cell and decides to call Sara.   
  
“Hey -”   
  
“You mind telling me why you’re on TV right now?” Sara asks cutting her off.   
  
“What?”   
  
“Yeah, spotted on the arm of one Steve Rogers,” Sara continues.   
  
“On his arm? No. That isn’t me.”   
  
“Turn on your TV and find that stupid entertainment channel. You want to tell me what the hell you’re doing up there?”   
  
Shaye turns on the TV and searches for the channel. Sure enough there’s an image of she and Steve walking through Madame Tussauds, another of them standing in the snow, and a third of them walking very close together (nearly touching hips) as they walked into the hotel to get coffee.   
  
“Seems Captain America has a new lady friend, folks. He must like them thick and juicy!”  the host of the show jokes.   
  
“I think he looked better with Sharon. The athletic types are more his style than this one. She’s certainly not built like Sharon.”  The co-host adds.   
  
“Well, there’s no accounting for taste! Hope he keeps her fed!”   
  
Shaye turns off the TV.   
  
“That’s not you?” Sara asks, her tone much less fierce now.   
  
“No. I just happened to be in the area -”   
  
“Shaye, stop.”   
  
“Am I losing my fucking mind?” Shaye blurts out.   
  
“Did you go looking for him?”   
  
“No, I did not. He saw me save some idiot bitch from getting run over by an SUV and gave me directions to a restaurant to have lunch.”   
  
“Tell me what happened.”   
  
Shaye spends the next hour relaying the events of the day to Dr. Gladstone.   
  
“I feel like I’m losing my fucking mind, Sara.”   
  
“I can see why. Holy shit. I mean...I can’t say you’re making this shit up because somebody caught you two meandering around together today.”   
  
“But I’m not Sharon, who is clearly the preferred choice for the all American all star.”   
  
“Oh fuck them!” Sara grouses. “What the fuck do they know. He looked like he was having a good time and so did you. You did  have a good time, right?”   
  
“I did. Up until we had that misunderstanding.”   
  
“You stood your ground. You’re learning. You’re growing. Good for you. Don’t dwell on this, Shaye. Don’t start backsliding after you’ve made all this progress.”   
  
“I don’t plan on it,” Shaye says.   
  
“Are you sure breakfast is a good idea?”   
  
“I already agreed to it, Sara. I can’t back out now.”   
  
  
  
Chapter   
  
Shaye wakes up to the alarm on her phone going off. It was anything but a restful night last night. She has no idea what time she finally fell asleep, and she’d tossed and turned when she did fall asleep. She rubs her eyes and turns off the alarm. There’s a text from Sara.   
  
Don’t bother turning on the TV. You’ll only get more pissed off.   
  
“Now what,” she grumbles. She looks at the remote and wages a momentary war about whether she should see what Sara is talking about or not. She decides against it and gets in the shower.   
  
When she’s done she packs everything up so she can just come back to the room and grab her bag. She thinks about this for a moment, then calls the desk.   
  
“Hi, this is room 143. I was wondering if you guys could hold my suitcase after I check out till I come back for it later on? It would only be a couple of hours tops,” she says holding her breath.   
  
“Sure. We do that for a lot of our guests who are tourists. That won’t be a problem.”   
  
“Thanks,” she says and hangs up. So that’s taken care of. She can check out and not worry about them trying to charge her for another fucking day.   
  
She looks at the TV, her curiosity gets the best of her and she turns it on.   
  
“Hey, folks! An update to yesterday’s development with Cap and his supposed new lady friend. Seems Cap is just rewarding this woman for saving someone from being hit by an SUV. Eyewitness reports confirm that Cap was witness to his new friend pulling the young lady back onto the sidewalk before she became roadkill….”   
  
“If this is his way of motivating people to do right by taking them out on the town, then by all means count me in! I can rock a little black dress better than most, and certainly better than this woman did!”   
  
“I know a lot of single ladies and guys in New York that will be on their best behaviour from now on! Being a good samaritan pays off, no matter how thick or thin you are!”   
  
Shaye turns the TV off. She needs to listen to Sara when she advises Shaye NOT to do something. So, we went from fat jokes to this is a mercy date to show the world that he’s going to reward people he catches doing the right thing. She was made an example of it seems. What the fuck happened in the room then?   
  
She wills herself to relax. She promised Steve she’d go to breakfast with him. Once that’s over she can get her luggage and head to the airport to wait.   
  
The phone in the room rings.   
  
“Hello,” she says not masking her agitation.   
  
“Shaye? It’s Steve.”   
  
She sighs.   
  
“Hey.”   
  
“What’s wrong?”   
  
“Nothing. What’s going on?”   
  
“I’m running a little late. I still want to have breakfast, but I was hoping you’d meet me at the diner.”   
  
Shaye clamps her eyes shut and presses her palm to her forehead.   
  
“Sure,” she says, “where is this place?”   
  
“It’s Carletta’s, 45th Avenue. If you tell the cab where you want to go they should know where it is.” She can hear the relief in his voice. “Have you...have you turned on the TV?” he asks cautiously.   
  
“I have.”   
  
“I wanted to tell you yesterday who I was, I just didn’t know how to approach it. I didn’t want to say anything in Madame Tussauds.  I was hoping you’d look at the card. When you didn’t...goddammit,” he growls.   
  
“I figured out who you were while we were at lunch,” she lies. It won’t matter after breakfast what she says now, so she may as well make him feel better. She’d want someone to ease her mind if they could.   
  
“Why didn’t you say anything?” he asks. He sounds thoroughly confused.   
  
“It wasn’t my place to, Steve.”   
  
There’s silence.   
  
“Thank you for not drawing attention to what you knew,” he says softly. “Thank you for that. I’ll be there in about twenty minutes. At Carletta’s. I’ll see you soon, doll.”   
  
The line disconnects. He’d called her doll. She gets a spine tingling chill that momentarily freezes her.   
  
After breakfast it’s over. She goes back home. She’ll deal with the repercussions of the photos and the fucking fat jokes later.   
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter   
  
Shaye heads down to the lobby to check out and have her luggage stowed till she comes back later. The staff at the desk get wide eyed and giggle. She’s not normally self conscious, but this isn’t normal. After what Clay had put her through with her weight -   
  
She pushes this train of thought away. That’s the past. Fuck these people. She goes outside and hails a cab.   
  
“Carletta’s on 45th Avenue. Do you know that place?” she asks the cabby.   
  
“Sure, sure,” he says and takes off. It’s a short ride, she’s there sooner than expected. She pays the cabby and gets out.   
  
She goes inside and there’s a few people waiting to be seated. She scans the dining area looking for Steve, but doesn’t see him. He’s not here yet.   
  
“I didn’t know you liked ‘em thick like that, Cap.”   
  
“Shut up.”   
  
Shaye freezes. That was Steve’s voice. He’s mixed in with the group in front of her. She can’t see him, but she damn sure heard him.   
  
“She’s not a little girl. What will Sharon say?” someone else asks. Steve laughs.   
  
“Whatever. And she’s not thick. What the hell does that mean?”   
  
“She’s got some meat on her bones,” they say and laugh.   
  
Shaye bites her lip and backs away from them slowly, She pushes past the other people coming in the door and heads outside. By the time she hails a cab she’s in tears.   
  
She goes to the hotel and gets her luggage. The whispers and finger pointing continue. She wants to crawl under a rock and hide.   
  
She gets her luggage, hails another cab and heads to the airport.   
  
“Aren’t you that girl that Cap was hanging out with?” the cabby asks. Shaye cringes and sinks low in the backseat.   
  
“No,” she lies. She can see him looking in the rearview at her.   
  
“Huh. You look a lot like her. She’s a good looking girl, I don’t know what all this shit about her being big is about.”   
  
Shaye doesn’t answer. The ride takes forever. They finally get to the airport.   
  
“Hey, don’t let those idiots get to you. If he’s hanging out with you it’s because he thinks you’re a pretty girl.”   
  
She gives him a pained smile and pays him. Apparently the cab driver doesn’t know about the whole good samaritan game Captain America has started.   
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter   
  
Steve looks at his watch for the hundredth time. It’s now twenty of ten and still no Shaye. He pays for the coffee he drank and heads outside. He decides to call the hotel to see if she’s there, maybe she fell asleep or something.   
  
The staff tells him she checked out. Almost two hours ago. He heads home.   
  
He walks in and sees Bucky sitting on the couch drinking a cup of coffee.   
  
“You’re all over the news. Who’s your new friend?” Bucky asks him.   
  
“Gone.”   
  
Bucky’s eyes widen in mild surprise.   
  
“Where’d she go, kid?”   
  
“I don’t know, Buck. I did something fucking stupid yesterday and I tried to make up for it and -”   
  
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! What did you do?” Bucky demands. He leans forward and puts the coffee cup on the table while staring intently at Steve.   
  
“I walked her back to her room and we went inside. I wanted to give her a hug, but ended up kissing her and….” he stops and rubs the back of his neck.   
  
“And?”   
  
“I kissed her more, and grabbed her ass and pulled her against me...I don’t know what I was thinking...I just...she pushed herself away from me and she wouldn’t look at me. I apologized. I didn’t know what else to do. She told me to leave -”   
  
“Jesus Christ, Steve,” Bucky groans. “What the hell were you thinking?”   
  
“I wasn’t. I don’t know. I wanted to kiss her, I wanted to just...it felt right, Buck. I don’t know how else to explain this.”   
  
“What happened?”   
  
“I left. I left and I tried my damndest to think of a way to tell her I was sorry and that I’m not a goddamn predator, and all I could come up with was calling her to apologize and asking her to let me make it up to her by taking her out for breakfast.”   
  
There’s a smirk on Bucky’s face. Steve isn’t amused by this at all.   
  
“Breakfast.”   
  
“Buck, I swear to god I didn’t mean to make her uncomfortable -”   
  
“I know you didn’t, kid. I know. You wouldn’t do something like that, but she doesn’t know that. You can’t change what happened. Don’t let your dick think for you anymore, Steve. That’s got to be the first and last time. Understand?”   
  
“I wasn’t trying to force her into anything. I thought she was interested, the way she kissed me back. Jesus Christ…”   
  
“And maybe she was and then she panicked, Steve. Maybe you did read her right, she was interested and just...I don’t know, kid.”   
  
“That’s why she stood me up. She’s afraid of me,” Steve says. He feels horrible. He can’t believe this happened. He wanted to really apologize to her.   
  
“Don’t. Just stop. What happened with Sharon?”   
  
“I broke it off with her.”   
  
“Why? I thought you two were the next power couple.”   
  
“She wanted to focus on her career and I was holding her back. She couldn’t make the decision to cut ties with me on her own so I did it for her.”   
  
“I bet that went over well.”   
  
“It went better than you think. She agreed, said that this wasn’t working out and it was time for us to move on.”   
  
Bucky grunts and flips the TV on.   
  
“And now for our Avengers watch : Cap’s new game? We have details on the woman that Captain America was seen walking around Madame Tussauds with. Turns out he’s rewarding her for saving a pedestrian from becoming part of the street the other day. Word is that if Cap catches you being a good samaritan he may take you on a date, too!”   
  
“And not to worry, TV viewers, based on what this lady looks like, Cap’s not going to be too picky about who he takes out!”   
  
“What the actual fuck?” Bucky demands.   
  
Steve’s seething with anger to the point he can’t talk.   
  
“Someone did catch Cap’s first award winner leaving Carletta’s this morning. Looks like she was in a hurry to be somewhere.”     
  
They roll shaky video footage of Shaye leaving Carletta’s this morning. It looks like she’s crying.  Steve collapses on the couch next to Bucky.   
  
“She didn’t stand you up -”   
  
“No. Worse. She heard Clint and Sam making fun of her. I can’t believe this. Goddammit.”   
  
Steve hangs his head. He feels Bucky’s hand on his shoulder.   
  
“If it’s any consolation, Ilyena told me I was a disfigured freak and I should consider getting my arm replaced with something that wasn’t so garrish.”   
  
“Please tell me you’re kidding.”   
  
“No. I’m not,” Bucky says flatly.   
  
“There’s no hope for us,” Steve mumbles. “I’m so sorry, Buck.”   
  
“It’s whatever, kid. I’m sorry for you. Those pics they took of you with this dame in Tussauds and then at the hotel...first time in a long time I’ve seen you smile like an idiot.”   
  
“She likes chocolate lava cakes and caramel macchiatos. She has really good taste in burgers. She’s got some sass to her.”   
  
“Awww, kid, you really did like this dame.”   
  
“Why the hell is everyone saying she’s thick? She’s not.”   
  
“Because they got used to seeing you with Sharon and Sharon doesn’t look like this dame. Sharon is a trained fighting machine. This girl -”   
  
“Shaye. Her name is Shaye,” Steve tells Bucky.   
  
“Shaye, she’s got those curves that aren’t in fashion anymore. I heard the fucking shit they said about her last night on this channel -”   
  
Steve looks at Bucky, his anger building again.   
  
“I saw it.”   
  
“It’s bullshit what they’ve said about this dame and some of the other shit.   
  
“Like what?”   
  
“They hope you can keep her fed.”   
  
“I bet she saw all of this.”   
  
“There’s a good chance she did, Steve, you’re right. I don’t think it’s what happened at the hotel that caused the problem - at least not today. I think it’s a combo of Sparrow being a fucking dickhead, Clint being Clint, and this goddamn media feeding frenzy we keep finding ourselves in.”   
  
Steve shakes his head.   
  
“Oh good, Tony’s calling. Here. I’m dead if he asks,” Bucky says handing Steve his cell.   
  
“What?” Steve says answering.   
  
“I wasn’t expecting to get you. I figured you were having fun screwing with the paparazzi and this new girl of yours,” Tony says.   
  
“So you called to harass, Buck?”   
  
“Just to pick what’s left of his brain,” Tony says being mean. “So who is she and what is this new game you’ve instituted?”   
  
“There is no game, Tony. She saved that girl’s life, she asked me where she could go for lunch and to join her for lunch, I said no. Then today I saw her at Marv’s waiting to be seated and I asked her if I could join her. That’s all it was. I went to Tussauds because I’ve never been -”   
  
“We need to do damage control. Pepper is getting blown up by news outlets trying to find out more about this game. They found this poor girl at the airport and hounded her till they had to call in security to escort her to the plane.”   
  
“Oh god. Oh god, Shaye…” Steve groans. Bucky shakes his head.   
  
“Damage control. I don’t know who this girl of yours is - and you know that Maria and Nick will be all over that like white on rice - but we need to get this under wraps and maybe give her some privacy.”   
  
“Set it up. I’ll be there in twenty minutes,” Steve says hanging up.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter   
  
Shaye gets off the plane and immediately diverts to the duty free shop. She buys sunglasses and a fitted ballcap. She’d been all but attacked at Laguardia by reporters trying to get her to say something about Steve. Asking her crazy shit like why she saved that girl, what was it like getting a mercy date from Captain America, how well did things go, did she try to kiss him, how does it feel to be the first winner of his prestigious good samaritan reward, was she afraid that Sharon Carter would come kick her ass…   
  
On and on and on it went. They had to call security to help  her. She’d boarded the plane and been subject to more bullshit. People on the plane who recognized her from the media clips, taking more pictures, whispering, a skinny redhead called her a fat fucking cow and then cried that Steve had abandoned all the beautiful people. She was shaking the entire flight home.   
  
She sees news crews waiting at the exit.   
  
Her phone rings.   
  
“I’m out front, behind the Channel 5 News Van. I’ve been waiting for you to get home. Try and sneak past them if you can.”   
  
It’s Sara. Sara came to get her.   
  
Shaye bites the bullet, holds back the tears and tries to blend in with the other people exiting the building. She gets outside and sees Sara’s Volvo SUV and Sara standing next to the passenger’s side door. She rushes over and just as they get her luggage in the Volvo she’s spotted.   
  
“There she is! That’s her! MISS! MISS! We need a word from you!” they clamour.   
  
“Get in the goddamn car,” Sara yells. Shaye jumps in, Sara gets in and she pulls away from the media circus as quickly as possible.   
  
“Jesus jumped up Christ, Shaye. When I told you to go to New York it wasn’t with the intention that you get yourself into a shit storm of epic proportions,” Sara says as they get on the interstate.   
  
“And I assure you this was not my goddamn intention, either,” Shaye snaps. She feels the tears come and she just lets it happen.   
  
“Shit. I’m sorry, Shaye. I really am. I’m taking you back to my place. Harvey’s already on high alert. We’ve been watching the news since all this shit happened yesterday and then today...what happened at Carletta’s?”   
  
“I’m a fat gross pig who isn’t worthy to share the same air as the great and wonderful Captain America. Even his friends think that,” Shaye says. She’s disgusted with herself.    
  
“Shut up. Just shut the hell up. That’s the goddamn media telling you that you have to look like fucking Twiggy. I’m telling you as your goddamn doctor there isn’t anything wrong with how you look. Fuck the media and fuck Captain America.”   
  
Shaye sits quietly as they drive back to Sara’s place.   
  
They pull into the secluded driveway a while later.   
  
“Come on,” Sara says getting out of the car. Shaye sees Harvey come outside carrying a double barrel.   
  
“Seriously?” Sara asks him.   
  
“You may want to see this,” he says motioning for them to go inside. He gets Shaye’s luggage and follows them in.   
  
Inside the living room on the giant flat screen TV is live coverage of a news event. Shaye and Sara stop in the middle of the living room.   
  
“This just in: Tony Stark or IronMan as he is known in the Avengers has called a press conference along with Captain America Steve Rogers to address the rumors of the good samaritan game that has taken the media by storm. We’re here live - wait, here they come!”   
  
They see Tony Stark stand at the podium followed by Steve Rogers. Steve looks like he lost his best friend.   
  
“Ladies and gents, we’ve called this news conference to help clear up some misinformation that seems to be floating around. Captain Rogers will brief you on the rest.”  Tony steps aside after speaking to allow Steve access to the podium. There are camera flashes going off nonstop.   
  
“I was made aware within the last few hours of this good samaritan game I supposedly started. There is no such game. There never was. Doing the right thing should not be a game. You’ve created a media frenzy over something that doesn’t exist. You’ve hounded and humiliated an innocent lady whose only crime was helping save someone. You have badgered this woman, insulted her…”  He stops talking trying to collect himself before he continues.   
  
“There is no game. There won’t be any game. I ask that you drop this quest to demean this woman into oblivion. Again, there is no game. There never was. There never will be.”   
  
He walks off the stage as news reporters scream their questions at him. Tony takes the podium again.   
  
“You should be ashamed of yourselves. You made something out of nothing just to get a news story and it cost a young lady her privacy and her dignity. Congratulations on being the bottom feeding cretons I’ve always said you were.”   
  
Tony walks off the stage.   
  
“There you have it. Straight from the man himself. There is no good samaritan game. It was all a ruse someone thought up. This is Ricky -”   
  
Harvey shuts the TV off. Sara pulls Shaye into her arms and hugs her while Shaye cries.   
  
  
  
Chapter   
  
Steve walks into the apartment, his head hung low. The media circus continues, they’d followed him from Stark Tower to his own goddamn apartment badgering him with questions. He chose to say only four words over and over : There is no game.   
  
Bucky is sitting on the couch massaging his forehead. The TV is on, but it’s muted.   
  
“I’m not even going to ask how bad it is,” Bucky says quietly.   
  
“Did you see the press conference?” Steve asks as he fills a glass full of Scotch.   
  
“I did. And the aftermath. Every goddamn channel. Some are damning the media frenzy, some are saying it’s a publicity stunt for the Avengers, some are saying your girl lawyered up and the Avengers are doing damage control to keep from having a lawsuit slapped on them...then they go after her.”   
  
“Goddammit. Why?” Steve demands.   
  
“Because they can. Because she’s the unknown variable and they can draw whatever conclusions they want about her to get ratings.”   
  
Steve downs the Scotch and gets more.   
  
“She doesn’t deserve this abuse,” Steve says blandly. “I didn’t want this to happen to her.”   
  
“No one says you did. I’m not, at least. She’s a pretty dame, Steve. They’ve got footage of her running from the airport in Pennsylvania -”   
  
“How the hell did they know where she was going?”   
  
“Ask the staff at Laguardia who checked her in for her flight home,” Bucky tells him.   
  
“Unbelievable.”   
  
Bucky turns the volume back on and Steve sees the footage Bucky was talking about. Shaye running from the press wearing a ballcap and shades, being helped by…   
  
“Is that her mom?” Bucky asks.   
  
“I don’t know, Buck. Maybe. I don’t know her. I wish I did. I wish I hadn’t fucked up in the hotel room. I wish I had been on time and just met her at the goddamn hotel and we’d gone any place but Carletta’s. I wish the goddamn press would leave her the hell alone -”   
  
“I know, kid. I wish we were all happy.”   
  
  
  
Chapter   
  
It’s been two months since the fiasco in New York. Shaye quit her job the day she went back. They had plastered pictures of her and Steve all over the office. She’d gone to HR and threatened to file a harassment lawsuit. HR had everyone in the office written up as a final warning before termination. Shaye knew that wasn’t going to do a goddamn thing. She couldn’t take the excess bullshit and just walked out. She was offered a job in Chicago and immediately snapped the offer up. Sara and Harvey helped move her out there. Harvey had cried.   
  
“He gets emotional during good-byes,” Sara had said softly.   
  
She stays in touch, calling them once a week to check in because Sara had insisted. Things are going well. The job she has is great, she has an apartment that has a partial view of Lake Michigan. She’s going to self defense classes with some of the women she works with, something called krav maga. Shaye has no idea what the hell it means, but it keeps her in shape and has given her a little more confidence.   
  
It’s now five months since the shit in New York happened. Everyday Shaye moves further and further from that memory. Sara and Harvey flew out to see her for a few days. Sara made sure Shaye knew just how proud she was of Shaye’s resilient comeback. Today the office announced it was downsizing the Chicago sight. They have two other sights, one in Atlanta and their headquarters in NYC. Shaye opts for the safe route and transfers to Atlanta a month later.   
  
It’s nine months from the trash fire that was New York and the previous garbage that took place before that. She’s forgotten about most of it, blocking it from her memory. She’s living in Atlanta. She continues with her self defense training, picking up a class in Taekwondo when she couldn’t find any krav maga classes. She tries dating again, but can’t bring herself to do more than one or two dates. The idea of dating leaves a bad taste in her mouth. Sara says it will take time before she’s able to open up and try dating seriously again. Shaye is perfectly fine with that. That summer Sara, Harvey and Shaye go to the Caribbean together via cruise ship. Sara and Shaye spend their time drinking umbrella drinks and laughing at the oversized grizzly bear looking man who likes to walk around in a speedo two sizes too small. Harvey finds a group of husbands to play cards, drink beer and smoke cigars with. This is the most fun Shaye has had in an eternity.   
  
A year from the thing in New York and Shaye has forgotten it almost completely. She sees the Avengers on the TV from time to time, but it doesn’t phase her. Much. The Atlanta office is expanding their operations, but moving it to Savannah. Doing so requires them to shift positions and departments around. Shaye, once again, is caught in that fishnet. This time, however, her only option to stay with the company is to go to their headquarters in New York. The icing on the cake? There are limited positions available in New York so they’ll be doing a selective interviewing process.   
  
“I hate it when you call me ahead of schedule. I do. It always means some shit hit the fan somewhere,” Sara gripes.   
  
“I love you, too.”   
  
“Wiseass. What’s going on?”   
  
“Hi, Shaye!” Harvey yells. Shaye laughs.   
  
“Tell Harv I said hello,” Shaye says.   
  
“She says hi and shut up, Harv,” Sara yells.   
  
“Stop being mean,” Shaye chides her.   
  
“Whatever. Why are you calling?”   
  
“Atlanta is reorganizing.”   
  
“Oh god, now where are you going?”   
  
“That depends on if I pass the interview selection or not.”   
  
“Okay. So where does this process take you?” Sara asks.   
  
“New York.”   
  
There’s silence.   
  
“Shaye, I love you like you were my daughter. I won’t stop you from doing what you need to do to live your life. Just think about this before you make a hasty decision.”   
  
Sara’s words are carefully chosen. Shaye knows Sara wants to tell her to find a different job, one that won’t take her anywhere New York.   
  
“I know. That’s why I’m calling you. I like my job. I like the company I work for. They’ve been great to me, Sara. I make good money. I’m happy - usually. I mean there are days I want to shove a stick of dynamite up somebody’s ass, but -”   
  
“We all have those days. I need to retire before I actually do shove dynamite up somebody’s ass.”   
  
“So there’s that.”   
  
“Do what you think is best for you, Shaye. You are your own person. You know if it doesn’t work out and you need a place to fall back on -”   
  
“I know, Sara. I know. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate all you and Harv have done for me.”   
  
“I get along with so few people. You were one of the chosen,” Sara jokes.   
  
“And yet you have this incredible bedside manner,” Shaye teases.   
  
“Years of acting, honey. Years of acting. Since I haven’t gotten my goddamn Oscar I need to retire.”   
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter   
  
The decision was made that Shaye should at least try for one of the spots in New York. It helped that the office manager over her department strongly urged her to do so. Shaye had thought long and hard about it, weighing the pros and cons.   
  
Today she’s in New York preparing for her interview tomorrow. She makes sure everything is ready to go in the morning. She calls Sara to let her know she’s checked into the hotel.   
  
It’s early afternoon and she’s famished. She’d skipped breakfast because she was late getting through the airport in Atlanta. She heads outside into the cold New York air.   
  
She walks down streets she hasn’t been on in over a year. She wonders if Marv’s is still in business. She’s not fool enough to go in there, no matter how good the burgers were. She finds another place and heads inside. It’s practically empty. The smell of coffee and grease hang heavy in the air.   
  
There’s a seat yourself sign at the front so Shaye heads towards the middle and finds a small table to sit at. She orders her food and eats, thinking nothing of it, not paying much attention to the few people who come in and out. When she’s done, she heads back to the hotel, stopping in a little bakery to get herself a cannoli.   
  
Nothing happens. No one darts into traffic. No one recognizes her. No one stops her. No one whispers and points. Everyone seems oblivious to her now. She’s quite pleased with that. Hopefully tomorrow will bring good news and good fortune.   
  
  
  
Chapter   
  
Shaye goes home a few days later. There was nothing eventful about her trip to New York and she couldn’t be happier.   
  
A week later she gets a call from the director of HR at the New York office. They want her to come onboard with them. She’s ecstatic. She’s got a month to get everything moved up there.   
  
Shaye calls Sara to tell her the good news.   
  
“I got the position!”   
  
“That’s great! This is good right?” Sara asks backtracking over her first statement.   
  
“It’s good. I just found out. Oh my god!”   
  
“Calm down there, Slappy. We’ve got to find you a place to live and then get you up there,” Sara says matter of factly.   
  
“Sara, you and Harv don’t have to -“   
  
“But we’re going to,” Sara cuts her off.   
  
“You’re a jerk.”   
  
“Yeah, right. I love you, too.”   
  
Shaye and Sara make plans to go to New York to scout for places for Shaye to live. Nothing pans out. Shaye is running out of the time she’d set aside to look for places. She needs the remaining time for the move.   
  
Sara and Harvey work on packing boxes while Shaye hunts for apartments.   
  
A week before she’s due to start in New York she settles on a place sight unseen. It’s not in the greatest of neighborhoods, but it could be worse.   
  
At the Atlanta office they throw Shaye a goodluck party. She was moved by the gesture they made. They gave her housewarming gifts - candles, kitchen towels, soaps, gift cards, etc. She could not thank them enough.   
  
Sara and Harvey rent a moving company and refuse to let Shaye pay for it. This causes an argument.   
  
“No. I’m not letting you pay for this, Sara,” Shaye says firmly.   
  
“Already paid for. Suck it up, buttercup,” Sara says smugly.   
  
Back and forth they go until Harvey had enough and started fixing them drinks and kept doing so until Shaye and Sara were sufficiently inebriated to the point that everything was funny and all they could do was sit on the couch and laugh like morons.   
  
The day of the move arrives and Harvey has assumed command of the operation leaving Shaye and Sara to plot out a course for Shaye to get too and from work using the bus, subway and cabs.   
  
By 330pm they finally hit the road.   
  
By 615pm they arrive at Shaye’s new digs. The landlord is pacing looking frustrated at having to wait for them. He gives Shaye her key and a copy of the lease then vacates quickly.   
  
“Asshole,” Sara mutters. Shaye looks at the inside of the building and purses her lips.   
  
“Let's hope the inside of the apartment looks better than it does down here,” Shaye says. They head up the three flights of stairs to the apartment cringing at the peeled paint on the walls and the holes that periodically appear.   
  
Shaye finds the door to her apartment and has to finagle the lock to finally turn, then has to ram her shoulder into the door just to get it to open.   
  
“Fucking superb,” Sara snaps.   
  
“Jesus fuck!” Shaye yells. The apartment is filthy. There are empty boxes and trash strewn all over the small apartment. Shaye punts an empty box across the floor in frustration.   
  
“This is absurd, Shaye. This is unacceptable -”   
  
“It will have to do, Sara,” Shaye says cutting her off. “I don’t have time to keep looking and I can’t afford to live in a hotel.”   
  
Sara wants to argue further, Shaye can see this, but the older woman bites her tongue. Shaye knows Sara is concerned for Shaye’s safety and the fact that this place looks like a goddamn shit hole isn’t helping matters any.   
  
Sara has her hands on her bony hips and is shaking her head when Harvey walks in.   
  
“What the hell happened in here?” he demands.   
  
“Welcome to Skid Row,” Shaye says kicking another box across the floor.   
  
“Lets go get something to clean this hovel up,” Sara suggests.   
  
“And a hazmat suit,” Harvey adds.   
  
Shaye and Sara go back outside to find a store.   
  
By midnight the apartment has been sanitized and Shaye’s few belongings moved in. Everything is cramped and cluttered looking because the space that was mentioned in the add is definitely not the space that this apartment has.   
  
Shaye, Sara and Harvey are exhausted and sore. Sara and Harvey get to go to a hotel. Shaye will stay in this hovel. She’s not sure she likes this right now.   
  
“Take this,” Harvey says as they get ready to leave. He presses a small cylinder into the palm of Shaye’s hand. It’s pepper spray.   
  
“Harv -”   
  
“Don’t argue,” Sara tells her.   
  
“Take it for me, kiddo. We want you to be safe,” he says and smiles.   
  
“Thank you.”   
  
“Keep that on you,” Sara advises. “And dear Christ don’t slack on those self defense classes. Learn MMA shit or something.”   
  
They had hugged her and Harvey had teared up again. Sara shook her head and lead him out of the building. Tomorrow morning they’ll head home.   
  
Shaye looks out of the only window in the apartment. Her view is of another dingy brick building with a fire escape between them.   
  
“Alright, New York, let's do this.”   
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter   
  
Bucky walks into the apartment completely perplexed. He sees Steve drinking a beer and flipping channels on the TV.   
  
“What’s wrong with you?”   
  
“I don’t know,” Bucky admits. He gets a beer from the kitchen and drops on the other end of the couch. Steve eyes him curiously, but doesn’t say anything.   
  
Bucky opens his phone and pulls up YouTube. He has to know. He searches good samaritan game and is rewarded with tons of clips. He scrolls through them and finds the one he’s looking for. In his haste he doesn’t mute the video and Steve hears the playback.   
  
“What the fuck?” Steve demands. Bucky can hear the anger in his voice.   
  
“Shut up a second.”   
  
“It’s been a year and this is what you do? Are you fucking kidding me, Barnes?” Steve yells. Bucky is actually a little shocked by the intensity of the anger Steve’s displaying right now.   
  
“Steve, shut up. I think I saw her today.”   
  
The color drains from Steve’s face. Anything he was about to yell is silenced.   
  
Bucky tries to hurry the video along, muting as he does so Steve doesn’t go totally ape shit.   
  
“You’re a fucking prick,” Steve snarls, regaining some of the anger. He gets up and throws the remote at Bucky’s lap.   
  
“Jesus Christ, Steven!” Bucky snaps. “I’m not doing this to piss you off or fuck with your head! Goddammit! I think I saw - I DID SEE HER!” he says showing Steve the stopped clip showing Shaye last year as she was walking side by side with Steve in Madame Tussauds.   
  
“Why?” The hurt in Steve’s voice breaks Bucky’s heart.   
  
“I’m not trying to hurt you or piss you off, kid. I saw her. I’m a fucking idiot for not muting this. I just wanted to be sure. I thought I recognized her, but I wasn’t totally certain.”   
  
Steve shakes his head. He’s not forgiven himself for what happened last year. All of it he takes the blame for. He had no control over the goddamn viral bullshit game thing. He couldn’t help that the press hounded this poor dame till she had gone into hiding. But he takes all the responsibility for it. Steve liked this dame a lot. He’s a hopeless romantic, something he learned from watching Bucky back in the day.   
  
“Why does it matter if you saw her, Buck?” Steve’s voice is low and strained.   
  
“I don’t know. I just wanted to verify that’s who I thought I saw, kid. That’s all. I’m sorry.”   
  
Steve nods.   
  
“I’m going to bed.”   
  
“Kid, it’s not even five yet.”   
  
“I don’t care.”   
  
He puts the beer bottle on the coffee table and Bucky watches Steve drag himself out of the living room toward the bedrooms. Bucky stares at the image on his phone. He looks toward the bedrooms and gets up. He pours a glass of Scotch and goes after Steve.   
  
“Hey,” he says knocking once.   
  
“Buck. Stop.”   
  
“I’m coming in, make sure you’re covered,” he says pushing the door open. Steve is in the middle of the bed on his stomach with his face hidden in a pillow.   
  
“Get out.”   
  
“No. I want to help make this right so you stop dwelling on it.”   
  
“You can’t.”   
  
“Why? You’re the one that told me anything’s possible, remember?” Bucky says putting the glass of Scotch on the back of Steve’s head. He holds it steady so it doesn’t spill. Steve huffs at him.   
  
“What the hell do you think will make it better, James?” he asks in his muffled state.   
  
“You tell me. What’s going to get this chip off your shoulder?”   
  
“Telling her I’m sorry. Giving her the goddamn shirt I bought her and then telling her I’m sorry again.”   
  
“What shirt?” This is news to Bucky.   
  
“The shirt I bought her from Tussauds. Will you please go the fuck away?”   
  
“That’s all you want is to say you're sorry again, for the hundredth time and give her this shirt?” Bucky asks.   
  
“Hope that she forgives me. Does it matter?”   
  
“Drink this and I’ll leave you alone,” he says tapping the glass on the back of Steve’s skull. Steve shifts his position and sits up, glaring at Bucky as he does. He downs the Scotch in one gulp and shoves the glass back into Bucky’s hand.   
  
“See? That wasn’t so hard,” Bucky tells him. Steve is beyond any humor. He looks at the door and then at Bucky. Bucky puts his hands up and takes his leave.   
  
He goes outside and walks around for a while. Then he makes a call.   
  
“I need your help.”   
  
“Don’t you owe me like everything right now, Barnes?” Natasha asks.   
  
“Yeah, maybe. Not as much as I owe Steve and this is something to try and pay him back.”   
  
“Do tell,” Natasha says intrigued.   
  
“She’s back. I saw her at Corey’s on 5th.”   
  
“Who?”   
  
“Who’s had Steve’s nuts in a twist since last year?”   
  
Natasha is silent for a few moments.   
  
“Nat.”   
  
“Do you think this is a good idea? First off, what’s she doing here and second, why make him suffer more?”   
  
“He’s making himself suffer, and I thought if he got to actually talk to this dame he’d maybe come out of his funk a little.”   
  
“Ugh. He needs to get laid.”   
  
“Yeah, I’m not helping him with that. You can if you want,” Bucky says being an asshole.   
  
“Fuck off. You need your pipes cleaned too, you grumpy shithead.”   
  
“Grumpy shithead. I do adore the names you come up with,” He says with a laugh.   
  
“Next time we have a sparring session I am kicking your ass up between your eyeballs where it belongs.”   
  
“Whatever. Are you going to help me or not?”   
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter   
  
Bucky asked Natasha a month ago to help him find a way to track Shaye so Bucky could arrange a way for Steve to get to properly apologize. He’s had to hound Natasha about doing this. The downtime between missions has been very little for all of them lately, and has hindered Nat’s ability to find out anything more than the fact that Shaye works in New York.   
  
Bucky had spotted Shaye coming out of Corey’s looking less than impressed one day. She’s clearly not a fan of the place.   
  
Natasha calls him one day while he’s at the gym with Steve.   
  
“Where are you?” she asks.   
  
“The gym, why?” Bucky sees Steve give him a questioning look.   
  
“I have info on your target -”   
  
“Hold that thought,” Bucky says quickly. He walks out of the gym and into the locker room and out of earshot of Steve.   
  
“Tell me,” he says finally.   
  
Natasha speaks quickly telling him all she’s found. She has a file on Shaye now, which would be protocol if Steve had been able to win her over the first time.   
  
“What do you plan on doing now?” Natasha asks.   
  
“Sit down and talk to her.”   
  
  
  
Chapter   
  
Steve hasn’t stopped thinking about Shaye since Bucky brought her up over a month ago.   
  
Buck had asked how he could get the chip off of Steve’s shoulders. Steve had told Buck what he thought would get the man to leave him the hell alone at the time. Steve’s been thinking about that endlessly. What could be done that would make him feel better? Going back in time. Going back and not rutting up against her like a goddamn dog in heat, that would be a start. Not running late to have breakfast that he insisted he had to have with her. Not going to Carletta’s. Being more conscientious about the fact that Shaye wasn’t used to being filmed, photographed, scrutinized by the public. Not going to Marv’s…   
  
He doesn’t like the last option. He liked Shaye. He liked her smile. He liked her stormy gray eyes. He liked her sass. He liked her taste in food. He liked the way her eyes sparkled when the waiter mentioned the chocolate lava cakes. He liked the fact she shared her macchiato thing with him. He liked the fact that she knew who he was and didn’t make a big goddamn deal out of it. He liked how soft her lips were when he kissed her, how she still tasked like macchiato, how her ass felt in his hands when he had grabbed her and -   
  
Steve shakes his head and punches the heavy weight bag harder. He hasn’t forgiven himself. He can’t. What he did to her...what the fucking media circus did to her...Sam and Clint’s cruel comments…   
  
“It’s my fault!” he yells and hits the bag so hard it ruptures, spilling sand onto the floor.   
  
“What’s your fault, Cap?” Sam asks, cautiously sidestepping the broken punching bag.   
  
“Nothing.”   
  
“Man, come on. You have been in the worst funk for like a year. Ever since that girl…” Sam stops. Steve unwraps the tape from his right hand then slowly rewraps it tighter.   
  
“She heard you, Sam. She heard you and Clint that day at Carletta’s. I was supposed to meet her there for breakfast to make up for something else I had fucked up. She heard you and Clint telling me she’s thick.”   
  
Steve sees the immediate regret on Sam’s face.   
  
“Steve, we were just giving you a hard time. We didn’t mean anything by it and definitely not anything mean towards that girl. I’m sorry.”   
  
Steve nods.   
  
“She went through hell the following day, Sam. Apologize to her.”   
  
He grabs his bag and walks out.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter   
  
Shaye is standing outside of Marv’s having the biggest debate of her life right now. They have the goddamn blackened salmon tostada today. She really wants to try it, but can’t bring herself to get any closer than the bench on the edge of the sidewalk.   
  
She can’t do it. There’s tempting fate by moving to New York and then there’s tempting fate by repeating the steps that caused the issue to begin with. She’s running out of time for lunch now. She’ll have to grab something fast on the way back to the office.   
  
She’s starving by the time she leaves work for the day. She’s so hungry that she stops at a local deli with every intention of getting a huge sandwich and a giant bowl of soup to drown it in.   
  
She gets her order and goes to a booth in the back. She sits down and bites into the sandwich. It’s not great, but what the hell. She plays with the soup while she checks her email on her phone.   
  
“Mind if I join you.”   
  
Shaye nearly drops the phone. Her soul freezes. She looks up knowing damn well she’s going to see James Barnes.   
  
“There are other empty booths and tables. You won’t have to share,” she says. She’s surprised at how collected she sounds.   
  
“There are. I won’t be long,” he says sitting down. “Do you know who I am?”   
  
She studies him for a moment. She’s not intimidated. She’s not scared. She’s surprised by this, by the fact that she’s not panicking and trying to escape.   
  
“Do you want me to announce it?” she asks and then goes back to stirring her soup.   
  
“No. Especially not after what happened last year.”   
  
That stops her. Of course he would know. She was all over the news and Steve would have told him what happened. All of it.   
  
“Can I help you with something, Mr. Barnes?” she asks, her tone intentionally frigid.   
  
“Easy, doll. I’m not here to start shit. I promise. I came to talk to you about Steve.”   
  
“What do I have to do with Captain Rogers?”   
  
He’s unnerved by her cold demeanor, she can see it in his eyes. Was he expecting to come in here, mention Steve’s name and have her roll over, sit up and beg for him? Surprise, surprise.   
  
“Look, doll -”   
  
“I have a name and it isn’t doll.”   
  
He sits back and inhales deeply.   
  
“Wow. Let’s start over, shall we? I’m not here to fight, I’m not here to cause a problem, I’m not here to draw attention to you again. I’m here because Steve is my best friend - my only friend - and all he’s wanted since this shit went down was to tell you how sorry he is. And give you some stupid shirt he bought you.”   
  
Shaye blinks.   
  
“Shirt?”   
  
“I don’t know. Some shirt he got at Tussauds. He’s got the bag on his dresser, it hasn’t moved.”   
  
Shirt...shirt...what shirt? Ohhhh….   
  
“He should just donate it and move on. Cut the last of that memory he’s clinging to and let it go,” she says being blunt.   
  
“Yeah, but he can’t. I can see why. Pretty dame like you messed his heart up pretty good.”   
  
“Nice try, Sergeant Barnes. I’m not an airheaded Hungarian model who will fall for that horseshit.”   
  
“It’s not horseshit, Shaye. I don’t have time to bullshit and lie to people. I look at you and I understand why he’s been carrying this weight around for over a year.”   
  
“What do you want from me?” she asks angrily.   
  
“Would you let him apologize? We can set up a meeting someplace, no cameras, no fucking media wolves, just long enough for him to say he’s sorry.”   
  
“I hate to tell you this, but he did apologize. Several times. If he’s still holding onto this, then it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with him.”   
  
“When you two were spending time together, did you have fun with him?”   
  
“Does it matter?” What the fuck is the point of this conversation and why won’t he go away?   
  
“Yes. Humor me. Please.”   
  
“No,” she lies. He doesn’t believe her.   
  
“Why did you -”   
  
“Yes. I had a good time with him,” she recants. “What will it take to make this stop? Just letting him say he’s sorry? Is that it?” She wants this to be over with.   
  
“That and give you that shirt.”   
  
She doesn’t say anything. She can agree to this, see Steve, and if Bucky keeps his word they may never have to cross paths again. He’s studying her, those bright blue eyes searching for a hint of what she may do now.   
  
“That’s all you want? All he wants? Nothing else comes of this, it’s over and done with once he gets his apology out?” she asks tiredly.   
  
“Yes.”   
  
“I don’t suppose it matters if you’re lying to me or not at this point. I either do this now or I keep being hounded about it until I do.”   
  
“That’s not how -”   
  
“Fine. Set it up. The best I can hope for is that you keep your word this is the end of this fucking bullshit.”   
  
“I’m not going to hound -”   
  
“Set it up or don’t,” she hisses.   
  
“Alright,” he sighs. “How do I reach you?”   
  
“This is my number. Please be assured that when this is over that number will be gone.”   
  
He looks at her phone, her number is displayed for him, but he makes no move.   
  
“I didn’t want this to be a fight, Shaye. I didn’t come here to force you to do something you clearly do not want to do. I only wanted to try and help him. I owe him. None of this ever happened. I’m sorry I bothered you,” he says getting up.   
  
Goddammit.   
  
“Give me twenty four hours to think about this.”   
  
He stops in his tracks and looks at her. Bucky is trying to do right by the only person who has made an effort to save him. Bucky didn’t cause the media frenzy, he didn’t tell Steve she was fat. All Bucky wants is to try and give Steve what he thinks Steve wants.   
  
“You’ll consider this? No bullshit?” he asks. She can hear the fact that he doesn’t believe her quite clearly in his tone.   
  
“No bullshit. Twenty four hours,” she tells him. He nods toward her phone. She pulls up the number display again with her digits and watches him key them into his own phone.   
  
“Twenty four hours. I’ll call you tomorrow at this time,” he says as he pockets his phone.   
  
“And if I don’t hear from you the offer does not get renewed.”   
  
He looks at his phone and then nods in agreement.   
  
  
  
Chapter   
  
Bucky sits on the couch the following day waiting for the twenty four hour mark to come. If he gets called for a mission there will be hell to pay. He’s not missing this call.   
  
He replays his interaction with Shaye yesterday for the umpteenth time. She’s cold and hard. Not at all the way Steve described her. He can see why Steve was smitten. She’s pretty. He’s taken by her gray eyes. Like the sky on a cold winter day. She’s got some curves, her blouse showing an undershirt that just covered her cleavage, but the blouse wrapped around her breasts and pulled snugly over them. Yeah, he sees why Steve was attracted to her. Physically at least. He wonders if she’s as icy as she is because of what happened or if Steve’s dick was doing all the thinking and he couldn’t be bothered to notice her cold attitude and stone heart.   
  
He flips the phone around in his hands a few times. The notion that this may backfire on an epic scale hits him. Steve may not want to see her. The camera crazy public may blow this all out of proportion again. He’s putting this poor dame at risk just to help Steve pull his head out of his ass.   
  
“Shit,” he mutters.   
  
“What the hell is your problem?” Steve asks walking into the living room.   
  
“I was debating on taking that goddamn Tussauds bag and dropping it off at the Salvation Army,” Bucky replies.   
  
“Have at it.”   
  
“I was kidding.”   
  
“I’m not. Take it. I won’t see her again. I don’t know what the hell I kept the shirts for,” Steve admits. Bucky sees he’s trying to play this off.   
  
“Yeah.”   
  
Bucky looks at his phone. It’s almost time.   
  
“I’ll be back,” he says and gets up.   
  
“You’re plotting. What are you up to?”   
  
Bucky pauses and sighs. If Steve doesn’t want to go through with this then it’s better to find out now and just let Shaye off the hook since she’s not interested. But if Steve is and she says she’s not going to do this…   
  
He drags his hand down over his face.   
  
“Buck, what did you do?”   
  
He knows Steve won’t ask again. Next time he’ll demand it. Steve’s the only person Bucky won’t argue with. Not unless it’s over something that will get one or both of them hurt.   
  
He’s got fifteen minutes.   
  
“Shaye moved to New York, Steve. She’s here. I found her yesterday at Jim’s Deli after she got off work. I asked her to consider seeing you so you could apologize and give her that fucking shirt.” He says all of this in one breath.   
  
Steve’s face is like a stone mask.   
  
“Why?”   
  
One word with a million different implications to it.   
  
“Because you said that’s all you wanted and that would make you feel a little better,” Bucky answers honestly.  “I wanted to help.”   
  
Steve doesn’t say anything at first. Time is ticking away.   
  
“Let it go. She ran for a reason -“   
  
“She came back for a reason,” Bucky counters. “Steve, she’s a pretty girl, you made a mistake, you’ve been miserable for a year. She’s here now. Say your piece -“   
  
“You talked to her?” Steve looks like a lost pup.   
  
“I did.”   
  
“Is she mad?”   
  
Bucky opens his mouth to say something and then snaps it shut.   
  
Steve shakes his head and starts to walk away.   
  
“Let it go, Buck.”   
  
“She’s mad at me. I think. I’m pretty sure. Look, she agreed to think about meeting you - us - I told her it would be us, and I’m supposed to call her in five minutes to let her know. If I don’t call her there’s no option to extend the offer -“   
  
“Buck...if she was mad...I don’t want her to be mad at me. I don’t…”   
  
The pain is as fresh now as it was a year ago for Steve. Steve shakes his head, gets his coat and leaves without another word. Now the decision rests on Bucky. Does he call Shaye or forget the whole thing?   
  
Chapter   
  
Shaye has the TV on, watching the most recent bullshit on that stupid entertainment channel about the Avengers. She turned it on because all she’s been able to think about for the last twenty-three hours has been Steve. And Bucky. He said he was doing this for Steve, that Steve wants to apologize and give her that fucking shirt from Tussauds.   
  
“Captain America and Sergeant Barnes were spotted recently going through Central Park on their morning run. Our intrepid reporter managed to stop them and ask a few questions.”   
  
Shaye’s attention is momentarily diverted from the phone she’s been staring at to the TV. There’s a camera chasing some guy who is chasing after Steve and Bucky. They stop and the look on their faces is anything but happy.   
  
“Captain Rogers! Sergeant Barnes! Can I have a moment? Thanks!”   
  
Shaye sees Bucky drag his hand down his face in exasperation. Steve looks agitated.   
  
“Wow! You guys are fast! When will we see your new girlfriends? Any prospects out there for you two?”   
  
She sees Bucky open his mouth to say something, and sees Steve stop him with a simple shake of his head.   
  
“We’d like to keep our private lives private.” Steve’s voice is tense.   
  
“Right! But is there someone special out there that has caught your eye? Are you still looking? When will we see them?”   
  
Neither of them look pleased. Bucky grabs Steve’s shoulder to try and pull him away from the reporter.   
  
“Our private lives are private. Have some respect.”   
  
Steve says nothing else and he and Bucky are seen running off. The reporter was smart enough to know he wouldn’t catch them.   
  
“Looks like Cap and Sarge are determined to keep the public guessing! We’ll keep you updated -”   
  
Shaye shuts off the TV.   
  
She’s looking at her phone watching the twenty four hour timer she installed tick down to seconds. He’s not going to call. She’s mostly relieved, but there’s a small part of her that is severely disappointed. That’s the part that makes her hurt.   
  
“Three...two...one…”   
  
The phone rings four seconds later. She looks at it and debates on answering. She told him twenty four hours and no longer. It’s only four seconds past, well ten now, but still…   
  
The phone stops ringing. Her heart starts hammering in her chest. Does she call him back? Go back on her threat that it won’t happen if he calls after the agreed twenty four hours?   
  
She has her phone in her hand before she realizes it.  She looks at the missed call. It came from a blocked number. She puts the phone down. She can’t help but wonder if she’s saved herself from suffering more bullshit or if she’s made a horrible mistake and missed an opportunity.   
  
  
  
Chapter   
  
Bucky looks at the phone pissed off that Shaye didn’t answer. He just missed the twenty four hour deadline she set by a few seconds.   
  
“Goddammit,” he growls.   
  
She should have answered. She could have. What is she afraid of? He thinks about what happened last year, how Steve confessed to misreading her and trying to get into her pants, the media backlash, the cruel names and jokes, fucking Sam and Clint busting Steve’s balls with her in earshot…   
  
She’s got valid reason to be afraid. Maybe she hasn’t moved on either. Maybe it isn’t just Steve who is suffering. That would explain her icy attitude.   
  
He calls her again. He has to at least try.     
  
Steve wants to apologize, and Bucky knows he really wants to see her.   
  
On the sixth ring Bucky is getting ready to hang up.   
  
“You’re late.”   
  
“I tried calling at the deadline,” Bucky says, relieved she answered.   
  
“Bucky…”   
  
“I know I was late, doll - Shaye. Sorry, it’s a bad habit,” he says apologizing.   
  
“It’s alright,” Shaye says. “I’ve been called worse.”   
  
Bucky wonders if she’s referring to the nasty comments the media made about her last year.   
  
“What do you want to do?” Bucky asks.   
  
Chapter   
  
Shaye sits on the phone trying to find an answer to Bucky’s question.   
  
What do you want to do?   
  
She doesn’t know. She remembers the look on Steve’s face when he gave the press conference last year. How distraught he looked. She was a fucking train wreck. They had hounded her till she was able to disappear. They’re still hounding him. It won’t ever stop.   
  
“Where?” she asks.   
  
“I don’t know, Shaye. Any place we go that we’re out in public puts you at risk of being seen with us. I don’t want to put you through that again and I know he damn sure does not want you to go through that again, either.”   
  
At least he’s trying to be considerate of her in regards to the public bullshit. She looks around her hovel. She doesn’t want them here. Partly because she doesn’t want them to see how shitty this place is and partly because then they’ll know where she lives. Although, if they really wanted that information they could get it. What the hell would the media do if they saw both of them coming out of this shithole? The rumor mill would go apeshit. This building looks like a combo brothel and drugden.   
  
“I’m going to make a suggestion, Shaye, because I don’t know what other options we have.”   
  
“What is it?” she asks.   
  
“Come here to our place. The building is secure. You have my word, my personal guarantee nothing will happen. If the fucks want pictures I’ll run outside bare ass to keep them away from you.”   
  
The thought of Bucky running naked through Manhattan makes Shaye laugh.   
  
“Glad that amuses you, doll. Shaye. Goddammit,” he growls at himself.   
  
“Does he know about this meeting?” she asks.   
  
“No.”   
  
This unnerves her.   
  
“What if this isn’t what he wants, Bucky?’   
  
There’s no answer.   
  
“Then I owe you an apology and I make sure you get back to your place safe. I won’t try to make it up to you by buying you breakfast. Maybe dinner.”   
  
He’s an asshole, but he’s an asshole who’s trying to do right by his best friend while trying to keep Shaye’s safety in mind, too. But goddammit, what if the side show starts all over again?   
  
“Shaye, I will do everything I can to make sure you stay out of the limelight this time. I promise you. And if he isn’t having this meeting, if this isn’t what he wants, I will beat his ass for telling me that it was and I will make sure you are not bothered from that point forward.”   
  
He had picked up on her hesitancy. Of course he can go back on everything he’s promising, but he could be sincere, too.   
  
“Where am I going?” she asks softly. She hopes this is the right decision.   
  
  
  
Chapter   
  
Steve walks down the street uncomfortably aware of people snapping photos of him. He should have put a hat on. Then he remembers last year. Again. He’d been wearing a ballcap, his favorite Yankees hat and they’d still recognized him. He’d been so wrapped up in Shaye and being around her he didn’t notice. He didn’t notice much of anything except Shaye, to be honest.   
  
Bucky wants to set up a meeting so Steve can apologize. There’s no way she’d agree to that. Not after what he did to her, not after the nightmare that ensued after that with the media and the jokes...Why the hell would she want to see him?   
  
He should have been more aware of what was going on around them that day. He should have shielded her, taken her someplace less public. He should have kept his libido under control.   
  
“Oh my god! Can I have your autograph! I love you so much!”   
  
Steve looks up and sees a young girl hopping up and down excitedly trying to get his attention.   
  
“Sure,” he says softly. He signs her little book and she squeals. More people come over. Some want autographs, some want pictures with him, all of them yelling his name.   
  
Till he’s able to break free his head hurts and he’s tired. He decides to go back home and hails a cab.   
  
He thinks about what Bucky was trying to do for him on the ride back to the apartment. He knows Shaye won’t go for it. If she did, though...what would happen?   
  
Chapter   
  
Shaye arrives at the address Bucky had given her. Once again, nothing like what her coma induced dream had come up with. She’s not surprised. She is nervous, though. Very nervous. What if this is a mistake? What if all this shit starts up again? What if Bucky is wrong and Steve wants nothing to do with her?   
  
“Hey, lady. In or out. I have other fairs I’m missing,” the cabby tells her. It’s now or never.   
  
Shaye gets out of the car and approaches the doorman.   
  
“Miss,” he greets her and tips his hat.   
  
“I...um...I’m Shaye,” she stammers. He looks at her.   
  
“Sergeant Barnes told me to expect you,” he says opening the door for her. “Third floor, halfway down the hall, left side,” he adds. She steps inside and he pulls the door closed behind her.   
  
She heads to the elevator and takes it up to the third floor. This building is the polar opposite of hers. Clean, well maintained, brightly lit, classically decorated, and most importantly it seems safe.   
  
She gets off on the third floor and looks around. The hallway is empty. Hopefully no one spotted her on the way in. She heads halfway down the hall and on the left there is only one door. She takes a deep breath and knocks. Bucky opens the door and smiles warmly.   
  
“Come on in, doll...fuck-”   
  
“You’re alright, Bucky. Let it go. You’re more pissed off about it than I am,” she says as she steps inside. He closes the door behind her.   
  
“I should have told you to wear a hat and sunglasses or something. Try and keep you from being recognized,” Bucky says regretfully.   
  
She looks herself over. She’s in jeans and a tee shirt, black Chucks and a teal Columbia coat.   
  
“You’re alright, Shaye. You look fine.”   
  
“Glad you approve,” she says softly. He skews an eyebrow and grins.   
  
“So there is something under that icy exterior. Imagine that,” he teases. “What can I get you to drink?”   
  
“What do you have?” she asks. She’s looking around at the decor. It’s simple and clean.   
  
“Scotch, rum, vodka, pop, water…”   
  
“Water, please,” she says. He nods and disappears. She takes a few more steps inside. She can see the shield sitting against the wall. The couch and recliner are a rich brown leather, there’s a huge marble top coffee table, a giant flat screen TV mounted on the wall…   
  
“Here, doll,” Bucky says coming back into the room. “You want to take off your coat?”   
  
“He’s not here is he?” she asks looking at the bottle she was given.   
  
“He went for a walk. He won’t stray far. He never does,” Bucky tells her. She twists off the cap and takes a sip of the water. He’s watching her curiously.   
  
“I don’t bite, doll. I promised you’d be safe and you will be, alright?” he says warmly. He’s very convincing. She takes off her coat and hands it to him.   
  
She hears the door open and Steve walks in. Both of them freeze.   
  
“Shaye?” Steve whispers. His brow furrows like he’s not sure if she’s real or not.   
  
“Hi, Steve,” she says softly. She sees him look over at Bucky questioningly.   
  
“I told you what I was doing. Don’t give me that look,” Bucky warns him. He hangs her coat on the coat tree by the door where Steve is currently stuck.   
  
“Buck…”   
  
“Say something to her, kid.”   
  
She can hear them whispering. Bucky is trying to get Steve to talk to her. She looks at the water bottle. Maybe this was a mistake after all.   
  
She sees Bucky step away from him and sit on the edge of the recliner. Steve takes a hesitant step towards her like he’s testing the waters. She doesn’t move. He lowers his gaze to the floor.   
  
“Shaye...I am so sorry...I never meant...I’m sorry.” He struggled just to get that out. He lifts his eyes and she sees a year’s worth of pain and guilt. A year’s worth of turmoil. She wasn’t the only one who had suffered and hurt.   
  
She looks down now, twisting the water bottle between her hands. She remembers the press conference last year, the look on his face, his pleas for them to leave her alone, and how haunted his eyes were.   
  
“Shaye.”   
  
She looks up when Steve says her name. He’s still standing in the same spot, tears in his eyes now.   
  
“I’m sorry...I am so very sorry for everything…” he can’t finish. He hangs his head and she sees the first tear fall and hit the hardwood floor. She looks over at Bucky who is waiting to see what she’s going to do.   
  
“Steve -”   
  
“I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am. Everything that happened was my fault. I just wanted to say I’m sorry.” His voice chokes up at the end. He’s blamed himself for all of it. He took everything that happened and made that his responsibility, his failure, his problem and he’s let it eat at him for over a year.   
  
Bucky gets up off the recliner. Steve is struggling to hold it together. Shaye puts the water bottle on the coffee table and goes to Steve. Bucky is next to him with his hand on Steve’s back. She stands in front of Steve and tilts her head.   
  
“Steve,” she says softly. He looks up and she puts her hand on his cheek. He reaches for her, but stops himself like he’s scared. She puts her arms around him and hugs him.    
  
“I’m so sorry,” he whimpers as he puts his hands loosely on her hips. “I’m so, so sorry. Please forgive me.”   
  
“It’s over, Steve. There’s nothing to forgive,” she whispers to him. He puts his arms around her and hugs her tightly.   
  
“I’m sorry, Shaye,” he mumbles from her shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”   
  
“Don’t apologize, Steve, it’s over. Let it go,” she tells him. She feels her heart breaking for him. He heaves a shaky sigh and lifts his head. His eyes are still full of tears.   
  
  
  
Chapter   
  
Steve holds onto Shaye, her shirt clenched in his fists as he tries to pull himself together. She’s here, in his home and he’s scared to death he’s hallucinating. He keeps apologizing hoping that she can find it in her heart to forgive him.   
  
“I never meant for you to get hurt. I’m sorry,” he tells her again. Her embrace tightens. He feels her hand on the back of his neck and Bucky’s hand on his back, both of them trying to comfort him.   
  
“Don’t apologize, Steve, it’s over. Let it go,” Shaye whispers. “None of what happened was your fault.”   
  
He lifts his head and looks at her in shock, because it was all his fault.   
  
“Yes -”   
  
“No, it wasn’t,” she says firmly. “You didn’t put me in the spotlight intentionally. I made the decision to go with you into Madame Tussauds. I knew who you were.”   
  
“There was no way for you or her to know the media bottom feeders would turn what they saw into a goddamn nightmare, Steve,” Bucky concurs.   
  
He looks into her grey eyes and he has to fight back fresh tears. That’s not where it started going wrong. Not in his eyes.   
  
“The hotel room...that was my fault…” His words are choked. If she’d forgotten about that and he’s bringing it back up….   
  
She looks down and sighs, her hands moving to his chest where she presses her palms against him. He looks at Bucky who is watching Shaye and looking like he’s worried Steve may have just screwed up.   
  
“It was a misunderstanding on both our parts. That’s all. There is no fault here.”   
  
She looks up at him now and wipes a tear from his cheek. Steve sighs tiredly.   
  
“There’s nothing to forgive, there’s nothing to blame yourself for. What happened...it fucking sucked. It was a goddamn nightmare from start to finish, but you had to deal with your fair share of it, too. I saw the press conference when Sara got me back to her place. I saw the look on your face -”   
  
“They took everything out of proportion. Comparing you to Sharon, saying that shit about you,” he says angrily. “I didn’t know how to make it stop. I tried...I didn’t think you were -”   
  
“Steve, shut up before you get yourself into more trouble,” Bucky warns. He sees Shaye smirk.   
  
“Heed his advice,” she tells him. “You couldn’t stop those fucks and you couldn’t help the fact that I took all of that to heart and let it eat me alive. That, Captain Rogers, was all on me.”   
  
“Are we good?” Bucky asks. “Can we let this go now?”   
  
“Still friends?” he asks Shaye. She gives him that warm smile he remembers so well.   
  
“Still friends,” she says and she hugs him again. He hugs her back, making sure to keep his hands above her ass this time. He sees Bucky try and walk away and grabs him and pulls Bucky into the hug. Shaye slides her arm from Steve to put around Buck’s waist. Now the three of them are locked in a hug with Steve resting his head on her shoulder and Buck leaning his head against hers.   
  
  



End file.
